Chapter 32
32
KILLIAN
I ’ve eaten. I’ve slept. Now, I’m sitting at a picnic table in the quad with my laptop and a pair of binoculars. In between doing work, I check her dorm room. The curtains are open, but there’s been no movement. It’s too late for her to still be in bed. She must be out.
I’ve chosen a table between some trees, so she shouldn’t see me easily from the walking path when she returns. It’ll give me a chance to reach her before she realizes I’m here.
My phone rings, and I scowl at the cracked screen. I need a new one.
I swipe to answer the call from my oldest half brother.
“Hey,” I say, turning my back to the wind, so there’s less noise.
“Hey, brother. How are things going?”
“Yeah, good.” I wonder if he’s talked to C Crue leadership, and they’ve passed on that we fucked up part of our most recent mission because of me. The thought irritates me. The C Crue leaders already dressed me down and put me on notice. I don’t need a lecture from Liam, too. He’s not my boss.
“So, listen, I had a visitor this morning,” Liam says .
My frown deepens. Here we go. “Yeah? And what did Trick have to say?”
There’s a beat. “I wonder what he would have to say.”
“It wasn’t Trick? Then, who?”
“Raine came by.”
I’m hunched forward but that causes me to sit up straight. “And?”
“Whatever you’re doing, dial it down.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Neither do I, exactly. Forthcoming is not an adjective I’d used to describe her. Scared is, though.”
My gaze rises to her window. Without binoculars, I can’t see anything useful at this distance, but I look up anyway.
“Are you intentionally trying to intimidate her, Killian? Or is it just an unfortunate side effect?” Liam asks this in his typical mild tone. Even when people were trying to sue us and the cops were trying to put me in prison for a good stretch, he was calm.
I’m not surprised. After all, it’s not Marianne who’s scared. It’s Raine. She’s not even really family. If she was, he’d have talked to me about her a long time ago.
“Raine said I’m intimidating her? I doubt that.”
“She didn’t say that outright, but it wasn’t hard to figure out. And that’s not in question. You are intimidating her. You either mean to do it or you don’t. But the fact remains. She’s afraid of you.”
“If she’s upset about something, she can tell me herself.”
“So this is the first you’re hearing of it? She’s never told you to lay off? Never ?”
“Raine is none of your business.”
“She’s my stepsister. That’s the same to me as to you.”
“You’re talking fucking nonsense. Do you mean to do it? Or is it an unfortunate side effect of you not knowing a fucking thing about her?”
“Killian,” he says, his voice hardening. “It’s me. The older brother who saved your ass all through high school when you went off the fucking rails. Don’t speak to me like I’m an idiot.”
I exhale a curse. “Yeah, you helped me out. And when you asked me to hunt down your wife, I did. No questions asked. I never said your turning up might scare her, even though she was clearly trying to hide from you. I didn’t say a fucking thing because she was your business, not mine.”
“Olivia wasn’t our stepsister. Olivia didn’t live with Ma or even know her. Raine gets to ask for my help because she’s family.”
“Raine doesn’t live at Marianne’s anymore. She’s eighteen.”
“So?”
“She’s not Marianne’s responsibility. Or yours. She doesn’t belong to anyone in Boston now.”
“That’s not how family works, and you know it. Every one of us is over eighteen, but if I ask Aiden for a favor he does it. The same goes for Luke and you. And if you were in trouble, adult or not, one of us— or all of us —will still show up. Always.”
“Raine is separate from that. She’s not blood to you guys.”
“What is she to you, little brother?”
I roll my eyes. “You really want to know?”
“I think I’d better.”
“What she is… is mine . She’s been mine since the beginning. And that’s what she’ll always be. Until I’m dead.” I blow out a breath. “So, are you going to kill me? To protect her from me, that’s what you’ll need to do.”
“Why does she need protection from you?”
“I’m not saying she does. You’re the one who said that.”
“I said she’s scared. Is she right to be afraid? Did you threaten her?”
“She’s not afraid I’ll hurt her. She just wants me to leave her alone for a while.”
“So, why don’t you? Give her a little time to get over whatever you did.”
“Liam,” I say sharply. “Stop giving advice you’re not qualified to give. Raine isn’t Olivia. I’m not you. We’re something else.”
“Maybe you’re something else. But Raine is like Olivia. I’ve known the girl long enough to see how sweet she is. The fucking opposite of you in every way.”
“I know.” My voice is low and hard now, matching his. “But you’re wrong about Raine being like Olivia. Maybe she was once, but Newton’s First Law of Motion holds. I entered Raine’s life, and her path changed. Mine changed, too. Each of us has had an effect on the other. That’s the way the First Law works. So, don’t tell me you know her better than I do. No one could. And don’t believe you know me better than she does. You don’t.”
“Do you love her?”
“ Yes. And that’s my proof.”
“Proof of what?”
“That I didn’t escape the First Law. Before her, it wasn’t in me to love anyone. And I didn’t.”
“If she’s as important as you say, you’d better think long and hard about what you’re doing to her. Because I’m telling you, brother, you’re right at the fucking edge. And you could lose her. When people are trapped, they sometimes take drastic measures. Moving across the country. Even death. Hers or yours.”
That renders me silent. I’ve pushed her to the brink before. But even when she stabbed me, she wasn’t trying to kill me or to free herself. That time it was to save someone she considered an innocent victim. Of course, that doesn’t mean she would never reach the point of trying to kill me or herself. If she thought it was the only way to stop me… maybe .
We’re not at that point yet, but Liam’s got sharp judgment. If he saw desperation while looking at Raine, I’d be an idiot to discount his warning.
“All right,” I finally say. “I hear what you’re saying.”
I don’t care if she tries to kill me. Or even succeeds. But if she killed herself, I’d lose her forever.
Unacceptable .