Chapter Forty-Eight
Caleb
Jay’s second mistake was entering the church alone. The first was teasing me. Jay still hasn’t learned not to entice a hunter. I stalk her, waiting until the right moment to go in for my kill. I’m itching to punish her.
I don’t see her, but I can smell her.
Come out. Come out. Wherever you are.
I pick up her scent instantly, and the sound of water running is easy to pinpoint. She’s in the bathroom.
Ready or not, here I come.
The only exit to this church is behind me. Which means she will have to walk past me to leave. There’s no escape. I’ll wait for her to come to me.
Seconds later, Jay appears, not yet aware I’m in the room as she fumbles trying to put her gloves on. When she looks up, she gasps, stopping several feet away from me. I could lunge and be on her instantly.
“Caleb.” She brings her hand to her chest. “You scared me.”
I scan her body, but the heat coursing through my veins runs cold when I notice marks on her wrists. “What is that?”
Jay hides her wrists behind her back. “It’s nothing.”
I only caught a glimpse of it, but it was enough. What I saw was not nothing. I stomp toward her and snatch her wrist, holding it up to my face. There isn’t just one but several slashes across the width of it. Some were recent, and others are scabbed or scarred.
I grab her other wrist, which also sustains the same marks. One scar in particular, though, is incredibly deep and directly over her radial artery. And of all the scars that could have killed her, this one scares me the most—this one happened under my protection.
Jay tries to pull herself out of my grasp.
“What happened? How did you get these?”
“From—From training.”
“Who did this to you?”
She pulls her wrists from my grasp and steps back. “Just forget it. I’m fine.”
I back her into a table and cage her in. “No, Jay, I will not just forget it. These lacerations cross major veins. I want a name, and I want it now.”
Along with my making whoever it was that did this to her pay, another thing runs through my mind.
The king took her under his wing as a potential warrior, which means he is supposed to be overseeing everything and ensuring his people are safe.
That includes my girl. If he won’t keep her protected, then forget it.
King, or no king, she won’t be participating.
Her bottom lip quivers. I grip her chin and run my thumb across it.
“The name, Jay. Now.”
Her eyes drift to the floor. Quietly, she says, “It was me. I did it.”
All tension from my body drops. My brows unfurrow and mouth parts.
She shifts uncomfortably and looks at her surroundings, trying to escape.
I pick up on signs that she’s feeling trapped. I don’t want to trigger her, so I take one baby step back. It’s all the space my wolf will allow.
Her breathing evens out, and her heartbeat slows as the anxiety dissipates. As her dread subsides, she’s able to look me in the eye and be present again.
There she is.
Knowing she’s okay, my wolf and I sink into our relief—something I haven’t seen much of lately—but that feeling is short-lived. I recall the scars on her legs, and I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner.
“You cut yourself.”
Her face drops to the floor.
“Why?”
Tears pool in her eyes. She shakes her head in shame.
I cup both sides of her face.
She doesn’t speak and doesn’t have to. When I look at her, her eyes tell me everything I need to know.
“It’s because of me,” I say.
Tears stream down her cheeks, confirming my theory. “I did this to you,” I say.
“No! I just—” Her bottom lip quivers again as she tries to find the words to minimize my effect on her emotions. “It hurts to love you.”
I wouldn’t want her to hide her feelings, but I’d be lying if her truth didn’t gut me.
I won’t shy away from my wrongdoing.
I take her hands in mine. “What I said to you, it was wrong. I was wrong. You’re not a monster. If anything, I’m the monster. I took it out on you, and it’s no excuse, but I was scared, Jay. I pushed you away.”
“What were you scared of?”
“Losing you.”
“I don’t understand. Why would you lose me?”
I’m not supposed to tell her, but I tried that already and look what it did to her. I’m not fucking this up again.
“Do you remember the boy those bullies killed?”
“How could I forget?”
“He belonged to the dark coven. Apparently, he was a protégé of theirs. When I took my pack members’ lives, I took away the coven’s chance to handle it how they saw fit. The witches said if I don’t mate with Medein, they’d kill you.”
“Me? Why me? I didn’t do anything.”
“They don’t care. You were there.”
Her mouth forms a hard line, and she drops her hands.
My wolf whimpers at the loss of her touch.
“Is that why you brought Medein to church today? Do you plan on bonding with her?”
“What? No! No. I brought her here to try to convince her of another deal. I want to be with you. It’s you. It’s always been you.”
“Then why push me away? Why not just tell me what’s going on? If there’s a hit out on my life, I’d rather know. We could’ve figured this out together. I could’ve—”
There are so many reasons, but I settle on one I think she needs to hear the most. “Because since you came into my life, I can’t think clearly—especially when I’m near you. I’m emotional, I’m impulsive, I’m thoughtless when it comes to anyone but you. And it’s tearing me apart.”
Her chest rises. “I get that you wanted to protect me, but I would’ve helped find a solution.”
I nod vigorously. “I know. I’ve been dealing with everything by myself for so long, I forgot what it’s like to ask for help .
. . There is no excuse for the things I said.
It was hurtful, childish, and you didn’t deserve it.
Regardless of whether you choose to forgive me, I will be careful of my words and will never say anything like that to you again.
And the next time I’m struggling to carry the weight of the world, I’ll remember you’re strong enough to share it. ”
She nods. “What happens if Medein doesn’t take the deal?”
I sigh. “Then I’ll have to bond with her.”
“What’s the other option?”
“There is no other option.”
“There’s always another option. What do they want?” She shakes her head, not accepting this as the truth.
But for me, it is the only option because the alternative isn’t acceptable.
“You.”
Her brow unfurrows, and she looks off into the distance.
I pull her attention back to me. “I won’t let that happen.”
She swallows hard. Barely above a whisper, she asks, “But what if the only thing she wants . . . is you?”
The silence followed by the hypothetical is deafening. Jay is beginning to understand the reason for my spiral. There’s a real chance that we won’t be able to be together.
The possibility weighs heavily on my chest. My gaze drifts to the floor. I look down at her hands in mine and glimpse her wrists again.
I did this to her. I caused her pain. She could’ve paid with her life. Both of us are hurting, and I tried telling myself she’d be better off without me. But those marks indicate the opposite.
I can’t be mad for how she chose to cope with the pain I caused. I will be mad at how careless she was with her safety. The other reason I’m mad is—
“You broke the rules.”
“Wh-What?”
“You are playing fast and loose with your life again,” I say as I unbutton my shirt and shed the fabric.
“That’s something I can’t allow. I pull my arm out of the sleeve and throw it on the floor.
I’m panting because I’m seething. I take her dress and pull it over her head.
She steps out of her thong. “Get on the stage, Jay. Stand with your stomach against the cross.”
Her eyes bug like a deer in headlights, but she does as she’s told. I watch from below as she slowly moves to the cross, center stage.
“Grab it,” I say to her.
She spreads her arms wide and grabs it on either side.
I walk up to the stage. “Don’t let go.” I remove my belt and push her feet with mine, so they’re shoulder-width apart. “Do you remember your safe word?”
She nods.
“I asked you a question. Speak.”
“Yes, Master.”
“Good girl.”
“Stick your ass out for me.”
She pulls her pelvis from the cross, and her pink pussy comes into view. I paw at myself through my pants. I inhale and exhale audibly at the sight.
“I told you: Your body belongs to me. You broke the rules. Now . . . I’m going to punish you.”
At my promise, the belt snaps against her backside, leaving a red mark.
She gasps.
I smooth away the pain. “Count.”
“One.”
I crack the belt again.
“Two.”
I lay another smack, one on each cheek and rub the area to spread the warm burn across her skin.
I crack the belt several more times, and the metal loops are leaving rings. It’s like I’ve branded her. It’s making me feral with desire.
“You are taking this so well for me. You’re such a good girl when you want to be, you know that? I’m so proud of you. Can you take a little more?”
“Yes, Master.”
I grab her chin from behind and tilt her head to look at me. “In here, I am your god. You’ll call me Daddy.” I kiss her lips then toss her back around, rewarding her with more lashes.
Her little gasps and soft moans as she takes it all for me have my cock throbbing. My balls are getting heavy. I adjust myself.
“Now say, Forgive me, Daddy.’”
“Forgive me, Daddy.”
“Good girl.”
I reward her with another lash. The way her voice travels straight from my ears to my cock has me straining.
I stand back and admire her perfectly pink cheeks. “You look so sexy this way. When you wear your pain just for me to see.”
She tilts her chin up to the ceiling, drinking in my praise like a life source.
“As satisfied as I am, I’m not yet satiated. I crave more.”
“M-More?”
It’s so cute when she stutters. Her fear only turns me on.
I grab a candle from the altar. Now, standing directly behind Jay, I smile sinisterly, thinking about all the dirty things I’m going to do to her. I run my hand over the flame and savor all the ways I’m going to ensure that we burn.