Chapter Forty-Eight #2
I hover over her neck, shoulder, back and bottom, allowing the flame to get close enough, so she can feel the heat against her skin. Her breathing and heart rate pick up, but she doesn’t shy away from what’s coming. Her trust in me is delicious, and her dark cravings are just as sweet.
With no rejection of my tease, I continue to the main course. I tilt my wrist, letting the first bit of red wax drip down the center of her back.
“Ah,” she hisses.
Not even a second later, she moans as the wax changes from hot to warm. At the sound of her approval, I drip more down her back, letting it streak. One drips down farther than the other, stopping right above where her thong would show. And my mind reels.
Her backside sticks out as I drip wax onto the small of her back, letting it run down her crack onto her pussy.
“Oh!” Jay cries out, arching her back farther.
“Greedy little thing you are. You want more?”
“Mhm.”
“That’s not how you get what you want. You know how to ask me properly . . .”
She swallows, but her plea comes in a breathy pant, “Please, Daddy. Please give me more. I want you to hurt me.”
“Mmm, good girl. Happy to oblige.”
I tilt the candle further than before, allowing more to drip onto her needy center. “Is that what you wanted?”
She groans the words, “Yes, Daddy. So good.”
She is made for me. Her ability to take pain is otherworldly, but to take my pain is a godsend. She is a heaven no one could have thought to curate—my heaven. And to live without her would be hell.
The red wax hardens against her skin, and her reddened ass sends me. I can’t contain my urge to touch her any longer as I admire my work. It’s becoming a punishment for me, backfiring, and I can’t live in hell any longer.
Disposing of the candle, I place the head of my penis against her opening and push my way into her silky center. Warm and inviting, she gasps her welcome.
Gripping her hips, I pump into her. She meets me thrust for thrust. Her walls clamp over my cock, and I’m fighting to stay inside her tight hole.
I run a hand up the hardened wax and flick her hair forward over her shoulder. Grabbing the back of her neck, I slam her down on me, forcing her to meet the base of my cock.
Flesh on flesh echoes throughout the sacrament, and I can already feel myself getting close. I pull out slightly, leaving the tip in.
I snake one hand around her throat, and with the other, I wrap around her waist, holding her tightly to me.
I bury my face into her neck, kissing her throat.
In a hoarse pant, I ask, “Does that make you feel good? To know that mere seconds inside of you is all I can last before you’re about to have me come? ”
She chuckles. Proud of herself, she says, “Yeah. I always knew you didn’t stand a chance against me. Glad you’re finally realizing it.”
“Oh really? Hmph. Alright, then. But just remember”—I thrust hard.
I tighten my hand around her throat, cutting off her oxygen—“the only reason you’re still breathing is because I allow it.
I am the only god you pray to. You will atone, and I will enjoy each and every lesson I give you.
But of them all.” I bury myself into her again.
Goose bumps rise along her back. She shudders when I say, “This one might be my favorite.”
This woman is my undoing. A dark angel sent to tempt me. I can’t let her win.
I slam into her, and she screams at my thrust. She’s gasping for air, and her grip tightens on the cross, turning her knuckles white. The hold she has on my dick tells me she’s about to come. I release her neck to let her breathe.
She gasps for air. Not a second later, she’s shuddering against me, crying out for her god.
Her walls unclench as she comes down, but I won’t let her get away that easy. I keep thrusting and rub her clit. The grip on my dick tightens, and she’s climbing toward another orgasm. I hold her tighter as she spasms around me.
“Don’t you dare let go of that cross,” I growl. “There will be no mercy for a wicked angel like you.”
My words have her crying out for me. “Oh god. Daddy, I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I’ll be good.”
I slow down and let my hands roam over her breasts, pinching and tugging her nipple.
She hisses.
“Aw.” I kiss her back. “What happened to all that attitude, baby girl?”
“Mmm.”
Her moan comes out as a whimper.
“Give me one more.”
She shakes her head and sobs. “I can’t.”
“I want one more, and you’re going to give it to me.”
I scoop her up in my arms. Bridal-style, I carry her to the table in front of the altar. I lay her down and grab another candle, letting the wax drip lazily over her breasts. As the hot wax hits her sensitive nipple, she moans.
“Oh, why does that feel so good? Mmm, fuck, Daddy.”
Moving from her breast to her stomach, I write in wax. Branding a declaration, a promise and a threat all in one word into her skin.
Jay lifts her head and reads the bright red letters, “Mine.”
“Exactly.” I cover her body and lower my head to her neck.
Her legs spread, welcoming me again.
I take hold of the back of her neck, and her leg hooks around my waist. Rolling into her, I groan, “You feel so good. I love fucking your tight pussy. I belong here. Say you belong to me.”
Jay digs her nails into my back, and I hiss at the sensation. “I belong to you.”
I moan my growl and lift my hands. “I want to look at you. You’re so fucking beautiful. If anyone else ever touches you, I’d rip their damn head off. I swear it, Jay. You’re mine. No matter what.”
When I said it, her mind, along with her senses, runs wild with racing thoughts. Her eyes leave mine and enter into a world of self-doubt.
I drag her out of that world and bring her back to the church by cupping the back of her head, forcing her to look at me. “Keep it right here. Focus on me.” Our mouths are inches apart, panting life into the other. “Good girl. I’m right here. It’s just you and me right now. Got it?”
She takes a deep breath and nods. “Got it.”
Once she’s here with me again, she gives herself over to the pleasure I bring her. Her head lolls back from my rolling thrust. Her mouth forms an O.
“That’s it. I don’t want you to think—I only want you to feel.”
Being buried in her only raises the stakes. The idea I couldn’t have this forever is too debilitating for me to endure. To not have her but knowing someone else could would destroy me. But gazing into her eyes, I know I’m ruined. She has ruined anyone else for me.
“F–F–F–Fuuck it hurts to love you this way.”
“Caleb! I’m going to—”
“Go ahead. I’m right behind you.”
She unravels beneath me.
I shudder and pulse, spilling into her.
Her cheeks flush, and her eyes haze over as she comes down.
I brush the hair out of her face and touch my nose to hers. Breathing her in, I make her a promise. “I’m going to make this right.”
***
Jay and I emerge from the church, and I’m sure it looks suspicious, but I don’t care. If she is to be my mate, the pack will have to get used to it.
“You sure you’re fine to walk by yourself?”
Jay fixes my collar and the button I missed. I watch her care for me in awe. “Jemma’s isn’t too far, and I could use the walk to come up with an excuse as to why I’m so late.”
She kisses me on the cheek. “Good luck. You’ve got this.” She walks away, but her legs tremble.
I smile cockily knowing I did that to her. “On second thought, I change my mind.”
Jay turns around, her hair whipping behind her.
“A walk might do you good.”
She tilts her head. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”
“So you could learn how to walk right again.”
She gasps. “Caleb, stop!”
Her jaw drops, and her face turns beet red. She looks around frantically to see if anyone heard our conversation.
I laugh. It’s so cute when she’s embarrassed.
I watch after Jay until she disappears from view. A tinge of agony washes over me knowing I can’t see her and therefore, can’t protect her. Once I can mark her, our mindlink will open, and I can check in when she’s not in my sight. Only then will I feel better.
Despite knowing she can handle herself, I would have escorted her home to make sure she’s safe. Unfortunately, I have to find Medein.
Medein is standing under an apple tree—one that’s been in my family for generations. It’s said to be over one hundred years old, and it still provides delicious apples every summer. I can imagine Medein can appreciate the life of this tree on a deeper level, too.
Her eyes are closed, with one hand on her heart and the other on its trunk, breathing deeply.
I don’t want to interrupt, so I wait with my hands in my pockets.
A minute later, her eyes peel open. She hums and runs her palm up the tree’s bark. “You take too much from this tree.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Did the tree tell you that?”
“Yes,” she says, not missing a beat. “It’s not used to being relied on so heavily to feed.”
I inch closer. “What else did the tree say?”
Medein hums something in old tongue to the tree and bows her head to it as if she’s paying it respect. She removes her palm, standing back to get a better look at its size. “It says that if you allow your pack to continue this way, it’ll die.”
“I will make sure that everyone gets the message. Thank you for letting me know.”
“Great.” Medein places her hands on her hips. “Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“I did something that the Hecatae isn’t too happy with me about and it’s . . . complicated things.”
“If they’re involved, I’m sure it is. What’d you do?”
“You know that teenage witch that was missing?”
“Yes. I heard they found him.”
“Beaten to a pulp. A few members of my pack did it. Now the coven wants retribution.”
“Then give them the criminals who did it—all should be fine.”
Medein says it like it’s a no-brainer.
She would be right if that were an option.
“Yeah, about that . . . I kind of burned them alive.”
“You burned them alive?”
“Well, first I tortured them, then burned them alive.”
Her eyes widen, and her jaw drops, dumbfounded, horrified and shocked all at the same time.
“It was symbolic.”
“Symbolic?” she scoffs.
“Beautiful?” I try to find the right word, then shake my head. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter. The point is: I’m screwed, and I need your help.”
“You seem to be racking in a lot of favors lately. What do they want?”
“They want me to mate with you. Or to hand over Jay.”
“And you want to be with Jay.”
“Yes.” I swallow hard. “She’s my fated mate.”
“Oh boy.” She exhales.
“Do they know she’s your mate?”
I nod.
The king sent communications to them yesterday in an effort to negotiate, but I received word this morning the coven doesn’t care. Selene’s exact response was that Jay’s status “only sweetens the deal.”
Medein digests the information. “And there’s no other option?”
I wouldn’t call it an option. Selene is actually the one who suggested it. But I wouldn’t dare entertain it. It’d be too selfish.
“Selene said that you, and I might be able to work out an arrangement where I spiritually bond myself to you and be half-mated to Jay.”
“Half-mated?”
“I’d bite her for the strength the mate bond provides and establish our mindlink and ties, so I don’t grow weaker over time. I would mark her, but she could never mark me.”
“I see. So, like a mistress?”
“Essentially.”
“And your thoughts on that are . . . ?”
“It’s not an option. I won’t reduce Jay to a mistress when she is meant to be my Luna.”
“Too bad. That could have been a solution.”
That catches me off guard.
“You would’ve been fine with sharing me?”
That surprises me.
“Yes. Provided I would be able to take my own, too.”
“I only want Jay. Can you help me out? Maybe you can convince Selene this isn’t necessary. If it’s not something you want, maybe she’ll let go of the idea.”
Medein bites the inside of her cheek with a look of hesitation. The face someone makes when they don’t want to deliver bad news. “I have sympathy for your situation—I really do, but your dilemma benefits me greatly.”
My heart drops into my stomach, and I become desperate. “You are a powerful witch from a well-known coven. Bloodhound is a wounded pack right now. We’re rebuilding. Why be with me?”
“Let’s just say, when the time comes, I want to be on the winning side.”
“What does that mean?”
Medein rests her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Caleb, I can’t do this favor for you.” She stares at me with great sympathy, then leaves quietly.
The pain is too much. I’d be an asshole to seek Jay out for comfort now, but she’s the only one who could make me feel better.
I need to be alone.
I storm home, slamming every door behind me as I approach my father’s study. Finally alone, I lash out. I chuck a vase, and it shatters against the wall, and I scream at the top of my lungs, “FUUUUUCK!”
With my head in my hands, I collapse to the floor.
I can’t catch a break.
First, I lost my father.
Then I found my father’s killer who just so happens to be my mate.
Then I can’t get out of my own way to forgive her. If I had, maybe this wouldn’t have been an option they would have been able to propose.
This is my fault.
I can’t do anything right. I couldn’t get over my grudge and get out of my own fucking way to be with Jay earlier.
Because I wanted to wait until her wolf recognizes me to mark her, I might not ever get to.
It’s my fault. If I hadn’t waited, they wouldn’t have had leverage. It wouldn’t have been an option.
Oh yeah. And let’s not forget when I lost control and burned alive the only bargaining chip I could have had. I could’ve just stayed calm, let someone else deal with it, but could I do that? Nooo. Not when it comes to her. I’ve never been so reckless and cautious.
She is mine—she is supposed to be mine. She was made for me, and only me. But do I get to have her?
No.
Caleb can’t be happy. Caleb can’t ever just be fucking happy.
I will never be happy without her. Anything that was ever meant for me doesn’t get to be mine because Caleb never gets the girl.
Nothing ever gets to just be easy for me.
What do I do now? I won’t let the Hecatae have her. I won’t do something so disrespectful as to reduce my true Luna to a mistress. If I can’t fight this dark coven, then Jay and I wouldn’t be together at all.
Except maybe in the afterlife—which could be the best option.
No matter the scenario, we don’t get to end up together. I’m miserable in all of them.
But there’s one where Jay can be happy in them.
Jay can go to the Hunt. She can find someone, live a full life away from me. I’ll be with Medein. It would kill me but at least in this scenario, Jay lives.
My wolf alternates between whimpering and growling, blaming me for the reason its heart aches.
I’m not choosing Medein. I’m choosing Jay—her life. Her happily ever after. Even if it’s one without me.
I lean my head back against the desk, staring up at the ceiling.
My heart breaks into a million pieces as I’ve made my decision.
“Tyler.”
“Yes?”
“Notify the council. Let them know I’ve made my decision.”