Chapter 15 Evie
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Evie
Getting back into the groove of baking was as natural as breathing. I was back in my element, everything was going right, and despite the burn on my arm and a slightly sore pussy—my life was perfect.
I kept blushing. It was Wednesday, and yet, I still couldn’t stop thinking about Nick and Matthew. Sunday night with them had been unexpected and hot and they were occupying at least half of my thoughts. We’d spent last night together too, getting more and more acquainted with each other’s bodies.
Nick really was a man of hidden talents when it came to the bedroom, but so was Matthew. It was also fun to see how Matthew’s dominant side was drawn out by Nick being sassy.
This Friday, Nick promised that he’d give us a tour of all of his BDSM equipment. Matthew, being the most practical of the three of us, promised to invest in a first aid kit and a lifetime supply of lube and condoms.
My hands worked on autopilot, rolling out the croissant dough and making the butter and pastry layers, cutting and rolling and placing them on trays to proof. I was running on multiple orgasms and five hours of sleep, but it’d been worth it.
Everything with them felt so easy. Flirting, laughing, texting.
It was all effortless. We had a little group chat now, one that Nick and Matthew kept full of cute photos.
I still hadn’t met Lucky face to face, but I was already so in love with the cat.
Nick sent us at least five pictures every day, and Matthew and I had agreed we wouldn’t accept any less.
My life was spinning out of control. Just a little bit. It’d only been a week and a half since things got turned upside down, but so far, it seemed like it was for the better.
Matthew even treated my arm this morning before I left for work.
He wrapped it up so I could bake safely, and promised to swing by around lunchtime so he could check on it again.
I was supposed to take off the bandages in about an hour once I was done with the prep portion of my day.
It’d been a bitch to bake with an injury, but I was making it work.
I slid one of the trays onto the rack and wiped my hands on my apron. The scent of pecan pies wafted through the back room and I opened the oven door right as the timer beeped.
Nick had really saved me by fixing the oven. The rack slid out smoothly without a single hitch, and the bundle of nerves in my chest relaxed once I rolled it to the side and shut the heavy door.
“Evie?”
A familiar voice called from the front. I went still, wondering if I was going to actually go out to see him, but then there he was—all six feet and a couple inches of Austin looming in the doorway. His Whynot, TX ball cap was on, and he wore a white T-shirt and dark-wash jeans.
Every time I saw Austin, my entire body leaned toward him like a flower in the sun.
My heart beat faster than hummingbird wings. Given where we’d left things, I wasn’t sure what to make of him being here.
“What do you want?” I asked.
Austin sucked in a breath, his eyes roaming around the room before landing back on me. “Can I take you out for dinner?”
I froze in my tracks.
A week ago, I would have leapt at the chance for this.
And it wasn’t that I’d stopped wanting Austin—I wasn’t entirely sure that want would ever truly go away.
But I also just had one of the best couple nights of my life with Nick and Matthew, and I wasn’t sure what it would mean if I said yes to Austin.
Yes, take me out to dinner and know that I’m sleeping with your crush AND your rival?
That didn’t exactly sound like the best thing to say to him.
It almost felt fake, him asking me out to dinner. I’d known this man my entire life, and he’d never been the type of person to sit down at a restaurant.
The oven beeped and I wordlessly pushed a different rack inside, set the timer, then drifted closer to him until I was right in front of him. My head craned back as I looked into his eyes.
“I think it would be a bad idea,” I said finally.
His eyes became glassy, and I felt a spark of guilt.
“I . . .” He trailed off, but then cleared his throat.
“I won’t pressure you into it, but if you’d let me, I’d like to take you out.
And at the very least, I’d like to talk.
I know I’m oblivious to things sometimes, but I feel like I have made a mistake in not .
. .” He was struggling with his words, every muscle stiff. “I fucked up, and I’m sorry.”
“Austin, you didn’t fuck anything up,” I sighed. “Well, maybe. Sort of. But if you don’t have any romantic feelings for me, that’s okay. I don’t want you to feel obligated to take me out just because you found out I’ve had a crush on you.”
“I don’t feel obligated. I want to.” He lifted his cap and raked his fingers through his hair.
“I’ve been so focused on getting by that I haven’t taken any time to think about the people around me.
It’s not that I’ve never wanted you, I just never let my thoughts go that far.
Then Dad died and I’ve just been staying afloat the last few years.
But that’s not fair to you or anyone else. ”
“Hey,” I whispered. I stepped closer, my hand settling on his arm. “It’s really okay. Like, really. And I was a little unfair to you last week. I . . .” My cheeks turned hot as I blushed. “What I said was mean, and I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way.”
“You definitely needed to, though,” he said. “Sometimes I need someone to be rough on me. It gets me out of my head.”
I knew what he meant. He was stubborn and sometimes got tunnel vision, even when he meant best.
Really, June and Avery had asked me a thousand times why I wanted him so much.
There were so many answers, but one was that he always took care of other people.
He did the best he could, even when he acted like an asshole.
And he always owned up to his mistakes. When I was with him, he brought out parts of me I’d never known. He made me better.
Austin was one of the best men I’d ever known. He was handsome, smart, kind, and would have been the perfect boyfriend for me.
But now, things were different.
“We can just be friends, you know,” I said.
Liar. The word felt wrong in my mouth, but I still forced them out. I still wanted him, dammit. But it felt wrong for him to ask me out now. And with everything being so new with Nick and Matthew, and the fact that Nick and Austin didn’t get along . . .
I cleared my throat. “We don’t need to go on a date. We can just keep being friends. I don’t want to risk ruining our friendship.”
Austin sucked in a breath, his eyes widening. “I . . .”
“I just don’t want to run the risk.” My eyes stung, my heart pounding in my chest.
His eyes softened with pain. “We’ve seen it work out though,” he whispered. “For Avery. For June.”
“Right, but I’m not them and you’re not Levi, Mateo, or Dallas. We’re different people. And I don’t know Austin, when would you find time to date?”
“I’m trying,” he choked out. He shoved his hands in his pockets, his throat working. “I understand, though. We can be friends. I want you to still be my friend. I can’t imagine ever living without you, Evie.”
“I can’t imagine a life without you either,” I said. I held out my hand, even as I felt my heart shredding to pieces. “Friends?”
His hand was warm against mine. I traced the line of him, wishing that his hand was sliding down my body instead of shaking my hand.
I didn’t want this, but I didn’t know what else to do.
I had the dream of three boyfriends, sure, but could that even be possible?
Especially if two of them hated each other.
“Friends,” he whispered.
“Now you can stop giving me shit about Nick,” I teased.
He squeezed my hand and released it. “Can’t do that. I still don’t like that he’s here.”
“Well, you can disapprove all you want. I’m inviting him and Matthew to our next friends’ dinner.”
His jaw tightened. “I don’t want him around, Evie. I—”
“Seriously?” I hissed. “He’s good. He’s amazing.”
Austin pressed his lips together, but didn’t argue. An awkward silence settled between us.
“I’ll see you around,” I said.
“Okay. Let me know if you need anything. Is your burn feeling any better?”
“Matthew is taking care of me. You don’t need to worry.”
His throat worked, but he nodded. “Okay.”
Then without another word, he left. His shoulders were tight and I felt . . . awful
The man I’d been pining over for almost a decade had just asked me out, and I’d turned him down.
Fuck.
Not only turned him down, I’d insisted we just be friends.
I wanted to ruin our friendship in the best way possible, and . . . that was never going to happen.