Chapter 39 – Vale #2
“Then you showed up and you drew out every emotion in me, everything I tried so hard to bury and hide. Nothing was the same, the world became a loud and confusing place. I couldn’t silence those feelings anymore.
Even with all the noise, I knew, Oliver.
I knew you were mine,” I yell, my voice echoing in the tunnel.
He turns to look at me, finally. I see the hurt on his face.
My words are hurting him, but I’m so angry, so hurt, so blown away by his confession that I don’t know what to do with it.
The fiery rage is burning through me. I feel it filling every limb, every inch of skin.
I have to let it out. Not for him to steal my truths, but for me to free them on my own terms.
“Night after night, I hurt. I ached for you. I watched you with them. I saw you touch someone else. I saw you fuck someone else! You fucking broke me!”
“You’re not broken. You’re perfect, Vale. You’re everything.” He shakes his head, denying my words.
“You asked why I was crying after seeing you with that woman in the window. The truth is I loved you from the moment I saw you. It hurt so bad to see you with her, but I was willing to take the scraps of your affection because it was better than having none. It was better to dance in a tiny bit of your darkness than exist in the full light of the sun. You’re not the only one who feels worthless.
” My words are spiteful, just like the hot tears that streak down my cheeks when I look at him.
“Oh, God, Vale, I’m sorry,” he says, his words high-pitched with agony. It hurts to hear it. I never want him to be in pain. “I didn’t know. I swear it. I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m angry. I’m hurt and yet none of it matters because I still love you!
You know that, right? It’s so easy to love you, Oliver Byron.
You’re amazing and you make it impossible not to love you.
I’ve never known what it felt like to be special, to be beautiful, to be wanted, not until I met you.
It doesn’t matter how we got here. None of it does because the truth is I’m hopelessly in love with you.
I love you with every single breath, with every heartbeat, with all of me.
The thought of not seeing you, not touching you, not being by your side, that’s what scares me most in all the world. ”
One minute he's several feet away, the next he has my cheeks cradled in his hands, forcing me to look up at him. “I denied your love and I’m sorry for that. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to make it up to you, but I want you to know, I believe you, that you always loved me.
“One night, I kissed you over your heart. You were sleeping, I didn’t think you’d know.
You opened your eyes long enough to tell me you loved me too.
It was like you heard the words I was unable to say.
You knew all along. I wanted to be worthy of that love, worthy of you.
I wanted to give in, but I was afraid. I thought you were dreaming.
Well, listen to me now, wide awake. I love you, Vale. ”
I gasp at his confession, tears streaming harder over my cheeks.
I’m gulping down air trying to breathe. The truth is spilled out into the world.
We’re laid bare, torn open. They say the truth shall set you free, and right now, my heart soars to the sky with the glorious feeling of freedom.
I hadn’t been freed by turning eighteen or becoming an adult.
I’d been freed the moment he said he loved me.
“You love me?” I question through the tears, still struggling to believe it. Please let this be real.
“I swear to you. I love you,” he says, then kisses me, his lips fiery, branding my own. I’m free upon wings of glorious love.
I cry harder even as our lips press against each other’s. “Then I’m the luckiest woman in the world because I get to have you.”
“I’m yours. Only yours.” I can’t help it. I cry harder.
Oliver scoops me up in his arms and carries me like I’m precious cargo.
He’s so strong and his arms make me feel safe.
Not once in my life have I ever felt safe the way I feel with him.
I feel like the entire world could crash down around us and, as long as he held me, we’d be protected.
I try to stop my tears, wiping my eyes as we enter the house.
He holds me closer as he carries me up a set of stairs I’ve never seen.
“The third floor, Vale. This is my private space. I don’t let anyone in here but family.
You should remember the code. It’s 0623.
Remember it in case you want to get in here without me.
You’re welcome here, anytime. You never have to ask,” he says sweetly, his smile so sincere even though there’s still sadness in his eyes.
I want to wipe that sadness away for all time.
I hope he never feels it again. I want to make him happy always.
He opens the door into his room and welcomes me inside with a dramatic bow and flourish. I’m astonished at the large space. There’s a small sitting area with a few chairs around a coffee table. The furniture is antique, with a Victorian style that suits the facade of this house.
The room is long, the bed facing the east. Maybe he likes to watch the sun rise from the bed. The bedspread is burgundy with gold embroidery and looks familiar.
“Your picture, you were here when you sent those photos. I thought you weren’t in your room. That room I could see through the window, it had a navy-blue bedspread. I thought you were with someone else.”
Oliver shakes his head. “I was here. This is where I sleep when I succumb to boredom,” he says, then chuckles like not sleeping is normal.
I take in the creamy wallpaper and the ornate mahogany wainscoting that leads farther into the darkness. The room is an old-fashioned type of masculine, cavernous and lonely.
“You were alone?” I ask, though it’s a feeling in the air. It permeates the space. I recognize that loneliness as if it were my own because it is.
“Always.”
I stare longingly at the beautiful bed. I can’t move any farther into his room because I’m stuck. There are four delicately woven iron columns, and each one is draped with creamy sheer fabric. It’s so romantic I’m surprised he chose to decorate his room like this.
“Your bed is pretty.”
I look over my shoulder at Oliver and his cheeks flush. Is he embarrassed? “It would be infinitely more beautiful if you were in it.”
I walk over to the bed, leaving him near the door.
I step out of my shoes, then remove my shirt.
I drop the skirt onto the floor, kicking it out of the way.
He’s at my back in an instant. Oliver brushes my hair aside with his fingertips, then kisses my neck where it meets my shoulder, sending chills up my spine as I arch back into him.
His tongue licks and laps at the tender skin, making my heart race.
He’s a sneaky Lilu while I’m distracted. My bra falls to the floor. The way the fabric rasps over my sensitive skin makes me let out an unsteady breath. His hands slide along my waist, up over my ribcage, then back down. I’m lost in that gentle, reverent, and loving touch.
“I would worship every inch of you,” he whispers against my neck. “I’ve waited so long for you. Two thousand years of waiting, wanting, and hoping even when it hurt. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. You’re finally here with me. I’m in awe of you.”
Pain prickles at my heart, making me gasp.
I feel it, the time he waited. Oh, my God!
He waited two thousand years. I feel selfish for being upset about my own experience.
I suppose longing is subjective. Forever is the time we recognize, the time we know.
Eighteen years seems like an eternity for me, but his time has been unending.
I turn in his arms. “I’m sorry you waited so long, but I’m here now, if you’ll have me.”
“I couldn’t have dreamed up a more perfect creature. I know it hurt you to wait, but I’m glad we waited till I knew, without a doubt, that I love you. Isn’t it better this way? We both know it’s love that brings us together.” Oliver might be a closet romantic.
I’d always be able to look back on this night, knowing that I was loved. I’d know the man who took my innocence was worthy of it, that he thought it was a precious gift I gave him. He’d cherish it. He’d cherish me. He was the only person who could ever be worthy of that part of me, my innocence.
I love him, this absolutely wonderful, amazing person. My everything, my beautiful Oliver.
“You’re right, but then everything is better because you love me. Thank you for loving me, Oliver.”
“You’re very easy to love.”
His love is precious, given to me so freely now.
He’d been showing me since the night we met, even if he didn’t know it himself.
I make a silent promise in that moment, that I’ll never take his love for granted.
I will keep it and grow it. I will do everything I can to be worthy of him. I want to be a woman deserving of him.