35. Forgiveness Can Be Bought With Food
When I awoke, the first thing I noticed was the throb in my neck, courtesy of Jacques’ fangs. The second was warmth. A little fire crackled at the cave mouth, casting a dancing glow over the dark rock, and filling the little space with heat. I got to my feet, pulling Idris’ cosy cloak snugly around me, careful to avoid my punctured neck, and wandered to the fire, staring out at the dark sky beyond. A window to the heavens. Out here, with none of the light pollution I was used to back home, the stars were clear and bright, undimmed even by the flames. Beautiful. I itched to take a picture.
“Wait,” I breathed. I could take a picture.
Grinning, I fished my phone from my pocket and edged out of the cave, pressing myself against the stone wall. I snapped a few photos, none of which really did justice to what I saw with my own eyes, but that I knew I’d treasure, nonetheless. I turned, planning to thank Idris again for saving my phone, but I found the cave empty.
Even Saeth had gone.
“You bastard,” I snarled.
He’d abandoned me. He had no intention of taking me home. He’d lied to me, yet again. And now I was stuck halfway up a mountain with no transport, and no supplies.
“Shit.” I stalked beyond the lip of the cave, and out onto the ledge.
Icy wind grabbed me, ripping my hair and cloak out into the void. I swayed and threw myself back against the wall. The ledge I’d landed on yesterday suddenly seemed impossibly narrow. Darkness stretched below me. I couldn’t even see the foot of the mountain, and worse, I could see no way down. The ledge was just that. A lip of rock, jutting out of the sheer face. There was no path sloping gently down. No stairs carved into the rock. I was trapped. Panic’s frozen fingers slid around my heart, squeezing tight, and I retreated back into the safety of the cave, cursing Idris with every step.
Something rustled underfoot.
Glancing down, I found a sheet of aged paper beneath my boot. I frowned. I hadn’t noticed it yesterday. Shifting my boot, I plucked it up.
Aliza. I have gone to find food and will be back soon. DO NOT go anywhere. Idris
As if I could go anywhere, even if I wanted to. I read the short note again, the anger and panic leeching from my body. My eyes snagged on the angry underline. He’d gone over it more than once, etching the mark into the thick paper. I smiled at the mental image of him furiously scribbling into his precious sketchbook.
“Fine,” I said out loud, as though he’d spoken the words to me instead of writing. “I suppose I’ll stay.”
Sitting down, I made myself as comfortable as I could, arranging the over-long cloak around my legs, and returned my attention to my phone. I had to pass the time somehow, and now that I was reunited with my living, breathing phone charger, there was no reason why I couldn’t use a little battery.
I’d made it halfway through my camera reel when a clatter outside the cave had me leaping out of my skin, but it was only Saeth landing on the ledge.
Idris appeared a moment later, carrying a parcel wrapped in cloth and tied with string. I raised an eyebrow. “When you said ‘find food’ I assumed you meant hunting down poor, innocent, defenceless bunnies. I’m glad to be proven wrong.”
“I hunted down an inn.” He threw himself down beside me and set about unwrapping whatever it was he’d brought. My stomach grumbled in anticipation.
He smirked without looking at me. “Patience.” Handing me a fat little pie, still warm from the oven, he said, “Don’t worry, it’s cheese. No meat.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t hide my surprise. He really was observant. “Thank you.”
“It’s nothing.”
He was wrong. To be seen, to be noticed without judgement, to be cared for, even with so simple a gesture. It was far from nothing. Though he tried to hide it under an air of aloof boredom, he was an angel. An outrageously gorgeous sweetie with a heart of gold.
I leaned against the wall, shifting closer to him under the pretence of getting comfortable. My shoulder brushed against his, but he didn’t move away. I hid my smile by biting into my pie.
We ate in silence. I couldn’t have spoken even if I’d wanted to. In all the turmoil of the past day or so, I hadn’t had time to register just how hungry I really was. And cold. The hot cheese pie went down like the nectar of the gods, soothing my achingly empty stomach and warming me from within. Try as I might to savour it, I wolfed it down in record time and slid my eyes sideways to Idris’ half-finished meal, straightening.
He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t even think about it.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Good, because mine has meat.”
“Oh.” I slumped back, but Idris chuckled, nudging the bundle of cloth he’d brought.
“Help yourself.”
I dove forward, flipping open the folds of fabric. A selection of cakes and pastries greeted me. “Oh, you absolute sweetheart,” I muttered, snatching up a sticky pastry roll and taking a bite. With a contented sigh, I leaned back, stretching out my legs. My stiff thighs ached horribly from my ride, and I didn’t relish climbing onto Saeth’s back and heading out into the sky again, but it would all be worth it when I emerged into the Fairy Glen.
And then I’d have to say goodbye to Idris.
It was hard to believe I’d been furious at him only a few hours ago. With a full belly, I was feeling a lot more forgiving toward the world, and toward him. Somehow, his secret keeping stung more than Anwir’s lies. He should have told me the truth the moment he realised I’d been lied to, but if he’d really been planning to tell me when he’d come to my room, then I couldn’t stay mad at him. He had saved my life, I supposed. Again.
“How are your vampire bites?” I asked tentatively between mouthfuls. My insides squirmed with guilt. All those cuts peppering his body were the direct result of my stupidity, and like a child, I’d refused to speak to him in the ward. He’d said my name, and I’d ignored him, after he’d saved my life. Had he wanted to tell me the truth about Anwir then and there, or had it been something else? I couldn’t summon the nerve to ask him.
“If I’m honest, they’re fucking terrible.”
I stifled my snort, but not before Idris shot me a disapproving glare.
“Sorry, I’m not laughing at you. It’s just… You’re so fancy, it’s a surprise to hear you sound so…”
“What?”
“Well… human, I guess.”
His glare softened. “We’re not all that different, are we? Apart from you being much more annoying.”
I grinned. “Well, you know, I’ve got to keep you on your toes.”
“Aliza, I’m hiding in a hole in the mountainside, defying my brother and king, and potentially sealing the fate of my people, and all the while, my vampire bites are stinging like a bitch. You are more than keeping me on my toes.”
Well, that was sobering. “You don’t have to do this.”
It was too much to ask of him. Of anyone. He had enough to deal with. And yet, as the words left my mouth, I held my breath, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t see sense and leave.
He shifted, turning to face me. “And yet, here I am,” he breathed, his voice impossibly soft and low.
Something in his breathtaking eyes shifted, pinning me to the spot as he gazed down into my soul. The whole world stilled, centring on that little cave, high up in the starry sky, on the male before me, so beautiful and broken. I couldn’t remember how to blink or draw breath. I only knew how to exist, here and now, with him. My skin tingled as though his magic was sliding over every inch of it.
“There you are,” I breathed.
My gaze dropped to his lips.
Idris turned away, breaking the spell by busying himself with unwrapping a parcel of cakes. I adjusted my hair, loosening strands from my bobble to hide the tips of my ears as best as I could. What on earth had just happened, and why had it made me feel all tingly and light?
It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. He wasn’t mine, and this wasn’t my world.
I snatched up a cake, stuffing it whole into my mouth to smother my unease. Idris twisted slowly, one amused eye peeping over his shoulder.
“Wha?” I managed to say around a mouthful of cake, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t notice my unfortunate blush.
The one eye I could see crinkled as he smiled, and I couldn’t stop myself from attempting to return the gesture, twisting my overfull mouth.
“I underestimated your appetite.”
“Ooh werth payn ah-enshun.”
Idris laughed. A real, proper laugh, not just a chuckle. His shoulders shook as the rough yet musical sound filled the cave, and my heart. How long had it been since he’d last laughed? Hundreds of years? And I’d been the one to cause it. I might not be staying, I might be unable to help him, as I’d wanted to, but maybe I’d reminded him that there were still little moments of happiness to be found. That they were worth fighting against the darkness for.
“Let’s take a selfie?”
“Let’s—what?”
That had his attention. I retrieved my phone and opened my camera, leaning in close enough that Idris’ body heat washed over me. “Look at the screen and smile.”
“Absolutely not.” He tried to shy away, but I hooked my arm around his neck, pressing our temples together.
Forcing myself to ignore the warmth of his face pressed against mine, and the cool, crisp scent that filled my nose, I beamed, while he glowered. I snapped a picture. The bastard looked incredible, even when he was sulking. “Look, now I’ll be able to remember your cheerful face forever.”
He blinked again, and I realised what I’d said, and what he’d offered. Immortality.
“By forever I mean, just for the rest of my life.”
Idris’ lips twisted, and he dropped his eyes. “We should finish up and move on.”
Oh.
I’d almost forgotten that we still had to travel. That I was on my way home. Idris tidied away the debris of our meal, but while his back was turned, I folded up the note he’d left me and slipped it into my backpack.