Chapter 40
I close my eyes, breathe in, try to still the churning inside my mind. I don’t understand, and Alara has no intention of telling me any more.
I know only one thing.
I must do what’s best for my child.
I open my eyes, meet her ethereal gaze. “Tell me that learning from you is the best for my child.”
“I thought that was understood.”
“Tell me, Alara. Use the words. Tell me that what I need to learn from you—how to harness this power that you’re convinced I have—is necessary for the wellbeing of the child growing in my body.”
“And if it’s for you and not your child?”
“Then I want no part of it.” I clench my hands into fists.
“I never asked for any of this. For the first eighteen years of my life, I thought I was human. Just a normal human woman who had no clue that vampires and lycans even existed. Who had no clue who her father truly was. Who her stepfather truly was. Though in Richard’s case, it all makes an eerie sense. ”
“Ignorance is bliss?” Alara questions.
“That’s not what I mean. I value knowledge, Alara, but does it have to come with such headache and heartache?”
“Oh, child…” She sighs and reaches toward me. “Nothing worth having is ever easy. And I don’t believe you would truly want it that way.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I say dryly.
“Hannah, the truth is the foundation of everything. It shapes the world and your place in it. It can be emotional, and in your case, it can be a complete shock to your system. But you must embrace it nonetheless, for only through the truth will you be free.”
“I’m free now,” I say sarcastically. “It’s in the Constitution.”
Alara closes her eyes and breathes in deeply. I can tell I’m trying her patience. She’s old and wise and tolerant, but even she has her limits.
So I close my eyes as well. Why am I fighting this?
Perhaps there is true power inside me. Power I can use to make the world a better place for my son.
I’ve fought my heritage for so long, and when I met Rogan, I fought our attraction as well.
I didn’t believe we were fated mates. Not until he convinced me.
Which of course turned out to be a fucking lie. A big fucking lie.
I open my eyes to find Alara’s still closed. “I’m ready,” I tell her. “I won’t fight you. I won’t fight whatever power I have.”
She opens her eyes, and they’re burning with a fire I haven’t seen in them before. “You’re ready, Hannah. And just so you know, yes, harnessing your power and learning how to wield it is the best thing for your child.”
I shake my head. “Why didn’t you just tell me that in the first place?”
“Because I needed you to be all in, whether it was for your child or not.”
“Are you a parent?” I ask.
“Of three,” she says, “so yes, I understand why you asked the question.” She smiles.
“You feel a fierceness now. A love and desire to protect that is so strong. But just wait until you hold that baby, look into his eyes. Those feelings will increase infinitely…and so will your power. Now, let’s begin. ”
I nod.
“Move that rock,” Alara commands.
“That’s it? That’s your instruction? You’re not going to tell me to concentrate, or focus, or whatever?”
“Why should I tell you that? You already know what you must do. You have only to do it.”
“Will it be difficult?”
She laughs. “Of course it will. Everything is difficult at first. What child learns to walk without stumbling? You’ll try. You’ll fail. And you’ll fail again. But eventually you will succeed, Hannah.”
“All right.” I gaze at the rock. Such a small stone. It can’t weigh more than a few ounces. How difficult can it be to move it with my mind?
I focus. Stare. Stare until my eyes cross.
Move.
Rise.
Hover.
But the rock stays solidly on the ground.
I turn to Alara. “I can’t do it.”
“You can. You’re just forgetting the most important component.”
“Which is?”
“Your emotion, Hannah. Feel. Draw on the power within you. The greatest power of all is love, and through love all is possible.”
“I don’t love anyone,” I say, “other than my unborn son.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. Except for my mother, I guess. My sister.” I sigh. “Even my father in my way. And…”
“And?”
“Rogan.”
She nods. “Yes. You love him. As the father of your child and so much more. Use that. Use it all. Combine your emotion with your intellect and your spirit. You can do this, Hannah. You only need to believe it.”