Chapter 41
You only need to believe it.
Alara’s words tingle in the back of my neck. That’s truly the key. It’s always been the key. Every self-help book in the universe says the same thing.
You are what you think you are.
Even the Bible says the same thing. As a man thinketh, in his heart, so is he.
I breathe in the air that tastes of both earth and fire. My heart hammers against my ribs, and I make use of the adrenaline pumping through me.
I stretch out my hand, my palm facing the stone.
Rise.
Rise.
Rise.
Rise.
And again...
Nothing.
But instead of impatience, I approach it with emotion. With the love I feel for my unborn child. For his father.
I close my eyes, picture the love in my mind.
It’s like the purest white cloud. As it envelops me, I take in all the goodness, the pureness, the raw power of the truest of emotions.
I open my eyes, focusing solely on moving the gray rock.
Palm outstretched once more, I focus. Concentrate.
Rise.
I hold back surprise when it wobbles.
Must continue focusing. Can’t let it stop.
I harness the love inside me, continue my journey. For that’s what this is. A journey. A continuation of finding my role in this world.
Rise.
Rise.
Rise.
The stone wobbles again, and this time it rises from the ground, like a baby bird taking its first flight.
Pride fills me, but I tamp it down.
Must concentrate.
Rise.
Rise.
Rise.
Come to me.
A moment later, the stone sits in my outstretched hand.
I let out a breath, finally relaxing my concentration.
“See?” Elara smiles. “You’re learning. Now, let go of it and keep it suspended. Still your mind. Control isn’t about force. It’s about harmony—harmony with everything around you. The air, the flora, the fauna. Everything is connected. Harmony.”
Harmony, I say in my mind as I focus once more.
Rise.
Rise.
Rise.
The stone wobbles in my palm and then hovers above my flesh. I drop my arm to my side, never moving my gaze—my concentration—from the object.
I can’t help a small smile.
“Hannah”—Alara’s voice is stern—“be proud of your accomplishment, but don’t let euphoria cloud your concentration.”
I nod slightly, swallowing down the pride that threatens to mar my focus.
The stone stays aloft.
“Control is a delicate balance,” Alara says. “Too much, and you break. Too little, and you will unravel.”
“Balance,” I say softly.
The small stone wobbles in the air. I focus. This is like a dance on the edge of a blade. Like a tightrope. Both exhilarating and terrifying.
“Balance requires embracing both parts of your dual nature,” Alara continues.
“Your human half can easily fall prey to emotion. Don’t let it.
Use that emotion and the power it gives you to help you conquer the power of your vampire half.
Embrace everything about who you are, Hannah, and you will find power you never dreamed possible. ”
Her reminder of my vampire roots causes the craving for blood to nibble at my consciousness. Rather than pushing it away, I let it in, force it toward the hovering stone.
“Remember,” she says, her voice hypnotic, “resisting urges and desires is crucial. Make those desires work for you. That’s as crucial as wielding power. Push back against that which threatens to break your focus. Use it as a wall. A defense. Your will is your shield.”
I swallow down the lust for blood, but I don’t try to deny it. No longer will I deny who and what I am. I’ll embrace it. Embrace it as I embrace the child inside me.
I will love myself—both parts of myself.
I will love myself and my child more than Rogan ever could.
The stone wobbles in midair at my thought of Rogan.
I steady it with my mind. Rogan. He won’t break me.
I will be unbreakable.
“Excellent.” Alara’s voice is laced with pride. “Lower it now. Slowly. Let it rest on the ground.”
With my eyes, I focus the strength inside me, watching as the stone falls as if in slow motion back to the ground.
I turn to Alara. “Now what?”
“Now you reflect.”
“On…?”
“On what you’ve accomplished, of course. How do you feel?”
“Exhausted, to be honest.”
“Good. It is exhausting to wield such power, but that will wane in time. Rest for a few moments. Gather your thoughts.”
“And then what?”
“What do you think, Hannah? Then, you will do it again.”