Chapter 20
I head down to the kitchens, trying not to think about how it felt the last time I came to say goodbye to Nate. Somehow, it's going to be worse this time. Except that it's not somehow. I know exactly why it's going to be worse this time. I'm in love with my best friend, and I can't tell him that.
I take a deep breath. I need to pull myself together, but I know there's no way for me to do that with the farewell ahead of me. He deserves a proper goodbye, and not me being a crying mess.
The kitchen staff mostly ignore me as I make my way through to the kitchen, which feels strange. Then again, they have probably barely registered that the Wafeland staff are leaving today.
I stand in the doorway of the kitchen and blink a few times as I take in the sight of Nate baking. His sleeves are rolled up, and his apron is tied around his waist, as normal. It doesn't look like he's getting ready to leave.
He looks up and sees me, a smile spreading over his face.
One that doesn't look like he's sad about leaving me.
Is it because of what I said the other night?
We've seen each other since and things are more or less back to normal, but I've been playing the moment I told him he couldn't stay for me over and over in my head, wondering what I could have done differently.
"Morning," he says.
"Good morning," I respond cautiously, stepping inside.
"That's a beautiful dress."
I look down as if I don't know what I'm wearing. "Thank you. I have court in an hour or so." Why are we talking about clothing when it's so unimportant?
"How's Ember? Has she recovered from the fireworks?"
"Just about," I respond, almost in a daze. "She's hiding in my fire still." I'm definitely not going to take her out to watch them again, it's taken her three days to recover.
"Ah." The timer in front of him runs out of sand, and he grabs an oven cloth. "You're just in time, by the way," he says as he grabs one of the oven cloths and turns to collect something from the oven.
"For what?" I move closer, my curiosity, and confusion, getting the better of me.
"The pie's ready." He opens the oven, and the smell of freshly baked pastry and sweet fruit fills the air.
I frown, not really understanding what's going on right now, but too interested in what he's baking.
He sets the pie down on the table, and I step forward, immediately recognising it. "You made an apple and blackberry pie?"
"I made our apple and blackberry pie," he says. "I made it all the time while I was away. Not while I was working, but while I was on my own."
"So did I. It made me feel close to you," I admit quietly.
"Same."
"Maybe croissants will make me feel like that now, too," I say.
"I would like it if you think about me when you make them," Nate responds.
"It's a shame we won't get to make them together again." Pain lances through me as I say the words.
"We'll have plenty of chances to make them," he promises.
I let out a short laugh. "I appreciate your optimism, but we don't know when we're going to get a chance to bake together again."
He leans on the table and grins in a way that seems entirely inconsistent with leaving me. "I was hoping you were free in about a month."
I blink a couple of times. "I am, but you'll be back to Wafeland by then."
"Will I?"
"Of course. You're leaving before the midday meal. It's already late for you to still be in the kitchen..."
He laughs. "Oh, Evie."
"What?"
"You don't get hints, do you?"
"No. And you know that. What are you trying to say?" I ask.
"I'm not going to be in Wafeland in a month."
It takes a moment for the words to sink in. "You're not?"
"No."
"Are you going to be in Gaullesse?"
"No."
"Someil?"
He chuckles. "No."
"Sovranetti?"
"No, Evie. I'm not going to be in any of those places," he responds.
My heart skips a beat. "You're staying in Falhaven?"
"I'm coming back to Falhaven," he corrects. "I have to go to Wafeland first in order to finish the job there and leave with a good recommendation, but I should be back before Yuletide."
"Back in Falhaven, or..."
"Back in the castle," he says, a wide grin stretching over his face. "I solved both of our problems."
I let out a very unprincess-like squeal and fling my arms around him. He responds by wrapping his arms around me in return, pulling me closer into his embrace.
"I take it you're happy with that news?" he asks.
"Yes, yes, yes," I respond, pulling back. "How did it happen? What happened? I thought there wasn't a job?"
"I thought so too. But Chef Martina asked to talk to me this morning."
A horrible feeling takes over me. "You didn't take a demotion, did you?" I don't want him to leave, but I also don't want to harm his career just so that he can stay.
"No, you made your feelings on that perfectly clear."
I grimace. "Sorry."
"It's a promotion, actually. I'm Falhaven Castle's newest pastry chef."
"Nate, that's amazing. I didn't think you were qualified for that position."
"Neither did I, but apparently I am. Chef Martina said that she remembered my originality, and now that I have more skills, I'll be even more of an asset to the kitchens. I'm actually going to be able to bring in a sous chef of my choice too."
"Do you know who?"
He nods. "I haven't sent the letter yet, but I know exactly who I'm going to ask. You're going to love her."
A strange feeling settles into me at his comment, but I don't understand what's causing it. "How is your father taking the news?" I ask instead of going further down that path.
Nate grimaces. "I don't think he knows yet. But it's fine. He wanted me to take the apprenticeship. He can't complain that I've got a job because of them."
I nod, trying to take all of it in. Nate returning is something I've been thinking about for years, and now it's really happening. The only downside of that is that I know how I feel about him now, and I have no idea how to tell him.
But I'll have a month to figure it out before he returns, and then we'll have all the time in the world to figure out what it means.
* * *
Thank you for reading Princesses & Pastries, I hope you enjoyed it!