21. Sloan
Chapter twenty-one
Sloan
M y bags have been unpacked less than a week, and already I’m regretting my decision to move in with Carter.
Instead of snuggling on the couch and indulging in the morning sex he enjoys so much, I’ve been going to sleep and waking up on my own while Carter hides in his office. He claims the stress of perfecting his proposal to the board has him focused on work, and I know in part that’s true. It just doesn’t feel like the whole truth.
I’m not sure how to explain my feelings—it’s not like I have any reason to doubt what he says—yet my gut tells me there’s something he’s not disclosing. By my fifth dinner alone, my patience has evaporated, and I have a burning desire to storm into his office and call him out. Instead, I make him a plate and grab a bottle of wine as a peace offering, despite the fact I’m not sure why I even need it.
“I’d ask if living with me is that bad, only I think you have to spend time in the apartment for us to actually call this living together.” Carter’s confused gaze follows me from the door to the front of his desk, a pained expression washing over his face as I set the food before him.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he says softly.
“As the only one of us who’s been in a relationship before, I know firsthand it’s a common gesture when one person misses dinner. The question is why did you miss it? Again .” I open the wine—thank goodness for screw tops—and pour a few fingers into the plastic cups I brought with me.
He takes one with a sad smile and swirls the liquid around, releasing the flavor.
“This doesn’t work if you won’t talk to me.” I point my finger between the two of us.
Carter opens his mouth and shuts it, twice, without saying anything. It’s the first time I’ve seen him struggle for words, which is saying something given the unconventional circumstances that brought us together. It puts me instantly on edge.
“Please,” I whisper.
“I spoke with my father.” His jaw tenses as he brings the cup to his lips and swallows half the wine in one gulp. “It didn’t go as planned.”
“What does that mean exactly?” I set my drink on the desk so I can wipe my now sweaty palms on my shorts.
“It means instead of telling him about you after the meeting, when he’d be less inclined to protest knowing our relationship hasn’t interfered with our work, I had to tell him last week. The day after you moved in.”
“He’d already heard about it?” My breath catches in my throat. This is the outcome we both dreaded.
“No. He wanted me to come home so my mom could set me up with someone. We went back and forth a bit, but the short version is I told him I didn’t want to be set up because I already have a boyfriend. It went downhill from there.”
“When you say downhill, how bad is it?” I force my voice to remain calm despite the fact that my mind is racing.
“I don’t know yet.” He tosses back the rest of his wine. “I expected him to object at first, to lecture me about the legal risks of dating an employee, and he did. He said I was na?ve if I thought I wouldn’t find myself in the middle of a sexual harassment lawsuit. I thought he’d come around after learning how serious we are though.”
“That didn’t happen?” The room is so quiet my nervous swallow echoes around us.
“No. I didn’t get to finish talking before he issued an ultimatum, you or the resort.”
“I… I.”
“I’m not choosing.” The conviction in his eyes makes them look more black than brown. “If the board doesn’t approve, they can get rid of me, but I won’t make that decision for them.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” I say with more composure than I feel. “You’ve worked too hard to let them push you out over me. I won’t let you squander your dream on my behalf.”
Carter shifts his head slowly back and forth, a look of utter defeat etched on his face. “I knew you’d say that. I hoped you wouldn’t, but I knew you would. That’s why I wasn’t going to tell you.” He reaches for the bottle and pours himself another cup.
“You’d rather I ask you to sacrifice your job and the future of the town for me?” The knot in my chest causes my voice to squeak, forcing me to swallow down a sob before I keep going. “I love you for refusing to choose, but I can’t let you do that.”
“I can do whatever I damn well please.” He leans forward, bracing his forearms on the desk. “Until they tell me otherwise, I’m still the CEO of this resort, and I won’t let them, or you, make my decisions for me.”
“Carter.” I reach for his hand and take it in mine. “I don’t think we have any other options. You have to pick the resort.”
He yanks his hand away like he’s been scalded. “That’s where you’re wrong. There’s another option.”
“What’s that?” I hold my breath as a feeling of dread washes over me.
“I move you from the spa to the ski team. I know you wanted to get that job without help.” He holds up his hand to stop the objection he knows is coming. “But time isn’t on our side. The ski team has a contract with the resort to use our facilities, though they’re totally independent of the resort. I don’t have any control over their operations. As long as you work there and not at the spa there’s no reason for anyone to force any ultimatums on us.”
“You know I can’t agree to that.” I shake my head back and forth.
“It’s the only way.”
I shake my head again.
“This isn’t about your career, Sloan, it’s about us. About staying together without either of us jeopardizing the goals we’ve been working so hard on. For once will you swallow your pride and let me take care of it?”
“I’m sorry.” I blink back the tears that are partly from admiration and partly from frustration that we’re required to make this choice in the first place. “I know your intentions are good, but I can’t accept that.”
“Dammit why do you have to be so stubborn?” He rakes a hand through his hair, drawing my attention to the creases on his forehead. Creases that weren’t so pronounced last week. It almost makes me want to relent. Almost .
I wet my lips with my tongue. “You know why.”
“It’s one little favor, Sloan.” He closes his eyes and leans his head against the back of his chair. “Just one, and it solves all of our problems.”
“That’s all it takes to undo everything I’ve worked for.”
“I can’t pick the resort. I can plead my case to the board, tell them my dad’s fears are totally unfounded, but there’s no guarantee they’ll accept it.”
“I know.”
“If they don’t, one of us has to leave our job. I gave my word that it wouldn’t be you, and I intend to keep my promise.” He presses his lips together, jaw locked tight.
“Things are different now. I won’t hold you to that.”
“Why the hell not?” His eyes crinkle at the corners as he narrows his gaze.
“Because the future of the town is bigger than a job I never intended to be permanent.” My voice holds steady since I believe it with all of my heart. I don’t know where that leaves me, but if giving up my job keeps Carter in place to carry out his plan I can live with the sacrifice.
“I won’t do that to you,” he growls. “I won’t force you out.”
“You’re not. I’ll leave on my own if it comes to it.”
He pops out of his chair and rounds the corner of the desk before I can respond, pulling me up and into his arms. “We’re in this together, Sloan. Tell me you know that.”
“I know that,” I say as he threads his fingers through my hair and pulls me in for a kiss. But I can’t get lost in him the way I normally do. Not when deep down I know ‘together’ includes the whole town, not just me.
** *
“What did you want to talk about?” Lennon shuts the door to his office and gestures for me to take a seat.
“My hours.” I sink into the chair in front of his desk. “I know I just cut back, but I’m wondering if I can get them back. Maybe even add more.”
“No more spa job?” He presses his lips together as if he’s trying not to say anything else.
“No.” I shift my head back and forth.
“I told you sleeping with the boss wouldn’t end well,” he exhales, taking the seat across from me while shooting me look laced with disappointment and empathy. With his eyes outlined in kohl to complement today’s punk look, they pierce straight into my chest.
“It’s not what you think.”
“No?” He arches a brow. “He isn’t pushing you out because it looks bad to share your bed?”
I chew my lip, which Lennon takes as an answer. “Thought so,” he mutters.
“He’s not pushing me out.” I rush to correct him. “But dating an employee does look bad for him.”
“So, you’re the one who pays the price.” He crosses his arms and leans back in his chair.
“By choice,” I insist. “Carter’s dad told him to choose between me and running the resort, but he refused. I won’t let him give up his dream and the only way to ensure that doesn’t happen is for me to go.”
“Typical entitled prick, thinking his career should come first. Why should you sacrifice your goals for his? ”
“He’s not asking me to do this. My goals benefit only me while his benefit the whole town. Of course, I’ll sacrifice them if it means he can bring security to everyone else.”
“You really believe that?” His indiscreet snort tells me he doesn’t.
“I know that. I’ve seen the plans. He spent the first year here researching the best way to expand and increase revenue without altering the character of the valley. If he doesn’t succeed the resort will go back on the market and the only buyers will be big conglomerates whose primary focus is the bottom line. No one wants that, so yeah, I’ll give up the spa job for the good of the town. It’s not like I wanted to stay there permanently, anyway.”
Lennon taps a finger on his forearm as he considers my words. “I hear you,” he admits, “but I still don’t like it. Carter put you in this position, he should do something to prevent you from having to play martyr.”
“He offered. I declined.”
“What?” His eyes grow wide. “Details.”
“Carter offered to set me up with the ski team.” I knead the back of my neck to release some of the gathering tension. “I told him not to.”
“Why?” Lennon sets his arms on the desk and leans forward. “That’s your dream job.”
“I don’t want handouts or special favors.”
“Not even when you’re being displaced through no fault of your own?”
“It is my fault, at least partially.” I blink to stave off the tears I feel building in my eyes. Dammit, I thought I could get through this without the waterworks. “And I want to earn my dream job, not have it handed to me because of risks I knowingly took.”
“I can respect that,” Lennon says softly. “I just hate that he’s letting you pay the price.”
“He isn’t though.” I can’t stop the smile that pulls at my lip when I think of how adamant he was about fighting our situation. “He wants to plead our case to the board and convince them that our relationship won’t interfere, even though it could cost him the resort if they disagree.”
“So, you’re taking matters into your own hands.” Lennon leans back in his chair with a heavy sigh, eyes grave with concern. “Are you leaving the spa, or him?”
My partial smile fades as a jolt of pain spears my chest. “I figure if I’m not in the picture at all there’s no reason for the board to question his ability to run the resort.”
“Shit.” Lennon hands me a box of tissues as a few stray tears run down my face. “It goes against my nature to believe people who say they’re going to take care of you—in my experience that’s just a line—but in this instance, I think that’s exactly what Carter intends to do. I get leaving the spa, but leaving him ? Someone you obviously have feelings for?”
“If I stay with him, he’ll fight for me before he tries to save the resort, and that puts the whole town at risk.”
“That’s a little dramatic,” Lennon snorts.
“Is it? More than half the town works for the mountain in some capacity. The only reason Ally has a boutique is because of the tourists who come through here. Maddox’s job only exists because of Carter’s long-term plans for the resort. Even Murphy’s can’t survive on locals alone. Everyone I know and love could suffer if the resort doesn’t thrive. I can’t have that on my conscience.” I wipe my nose before it can drip. “So, do you have an opening for a server?”
“No.”
“No?” I gasp, too stunned to form any other words .
“Serving isn’t your dream job, and I won’t let you settle for it.” Lennon’s chair tips over as he abruptly stands. “The ski team can’t be the only option for a physical therapist, let’s come up with some others. What about a hospital?”
“Uh, okay. Yeah,” I stutter. “There’s one the next town over. It’s a long commute, but I suppose it’s doable.”
“Alright, good. Give me another option. Opening your own practice?” He paces back and forth.
“Um, wow. In theory, I suppose I could, though it’s more complicated than that. I’d need a location, equipment, staff to handle billing and insurance. It wouldn’t be cheap.”
“What isn’t cheap?” Beck asks as he barges in. Good thing he’s sweet cause he sure doesn’t respect any boundaries.
“How many times do I have to tell you to knock when the door’s closed?” Lennon scowls at him.
“I did,” Beck retorts, rapping the frame with his knuckles the way he technically did right as the door swung open.
“Knocking as you push your way inside doesn’t count. You have to wait for me to ask you to come in.”
“My bad.” He smiles and plops down into the chair next to me. “What’s expensive? And why are your eyes red?” he asks me.
“Opening his own physical therapy practice is expensive,” Lennon answers for me. “And he’s got allergies.”
Beck rolls her eyes. “Nice try. I’m young, but I’m not that gullible. This is about Carter, isn’t it? I can’t believe you would keep that secret from me. I knew he was Mr. Tent Pole.”
“Beck, now really isn’t the time,” Lennon says. “Do you need something? If not, we’re right in the middle of solving Sloan’s work dilemma. ”
“Opening your own practice?” Beck ignores him and turns to me. “Yeah, that’d be pricey and a lot of work. You should just partner up with someone, like Dr. Malcolm. Pretty sure he’s got some open space in his family medicine practice, and then you two could share a receptionist.”
“How do you know that?” Lennon stands above Beck and crosses his arms.
“How do you not?” Beck fires back. “He and Dr. Boarst worked out of the same building and shared a receptionist up until Dr. Boarst retired three months ago. His offices are still empty. I bet Dr. Malcolm would love to rent it to someone.”
“That could actually work.” I look to Lennon for reassurance just in case I’m too frazzled to be thinking clearly.
“It does sound promising,” he agrees. “And there are enough amateur athletes in this town you’d most likely still be helping people get back to doing the sports they love. I actually can’t believe we didn’t think of this sooner.”
“I was too focused on the ski team option. And then everything with Carter…” I trail off.
“Are you guys going to tell me what that’s about?” Beck darts his eyes between us.
“No,” Lennon and I say in unison.
He gets up and stomps away, grumbling about being left out of the loop. Part of me feels guilty, but I don’t have the energy to dwell on his feelings right now. Not when I’m pretty sure I’m about to destroy Carter’s. Even if this solo practice thing could work, that doesn’t change the fact that the only way to guarantee he retains his position is to give him up, for the good of the town .
“Earth to Sloan.” Lennon’s hand waves in front of my face, jolting me out of my head. “This solves your problem, right? You can stay with Carter now. He doesn’t have to pick between you or the resort.”
“It’s not that simple.” I give him a sad smile. “His dad told him being with me is asking to get hit with a sexual harassment lawsuit. I doubt he’d think any differently whether I have a job at the resort or not.”
“Who cares what that stodgy old man thinks.” Lennon flings his arms out wide before letting them fall to his side. “If you two want to be together and you remove the employer/employee conflict, I don’t see the problem.”
“The problem is if I stay it’ll look like Carter’s picking me over his dad, and his dad still has the final say for all things related to the resort. If the man is callous enough to give his son an ultimatum concerning me, do you honestly think he’d change his mind if we stay together? Even if I change jobs, it’ll still look like Carter defied his dad. The only way to truly save Carter’s position and keep his plans in place is to stop seeing him.”
“Are you sure? Have you even talked to Carter about this?”
“I don’t have to talk to him to know what he’d say, and trust me, knowing what he’s willing to give up for me makes me love him that much more.” I hug my arms to my chest, feeling suddenly chilled and alone. “But his dad wouldn’t even let Carter explain what’s going on between us, and if he’s so determined to believe the worst about me, I don’t want to be the reason he decides Carter isn’t the right man to run the resort.”
“Damn. His dad sounds like a real douchebag.”
“He’s certainly not on my list of favorite people.” I try to shrug off the whirlwind of feelings, rampaging through me.
“You’re sure playing martyr is the only way?” he asks .
“It’s the only way I know will work,” I sigh. “I just hope Carter doesn’t hate me when I tell him.”