22. Carter
Chapter twenty-two
Carter
F ifteen hours. That’s how long I believed it was me and Sloan against the world. That we could overcome any obstacles in our path as long as we faced them together. Then I walked into the apartment to find suitcases sitting by the front door.
The pain that spears my chest is so overwhelming I have to clutch my heart to make sure it’s still beating. Rapid, erratic pulses steal my breath for a solid minute, gradually turning to a steady thrum as my shock morphs into rage. Anger courses through my veins with each thump of my pulse, echoing beneath my skin.
“Fuck!” I scream, slamming the side of my fist against the wall just as Sloan emerges from the bedroom.
His steps slow as he approaches, eyes wide despite being somewhat puffy.
“Looks like my idea of sticking together is vastly different than yours.” I hear the venom seething in my voice as he sets another bag down in the foyer. Whatever. I have a right to be pissed. “Sorry I ruined your plans to sneak out by coming home.”
“I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye.” He stares at the floor instead of meeting my eyes. Coward .
“Don’t bother,” I spit, torn between wanting to pull him into my arms to kiss some sense into him or stalking down the hall to my room.
“Please don’t be like that,” he says softly, glancing briefly at my face. My scowl has his gaze shooting back to the floor. “This isn’t about you. Or us. It’s about the resort. The town.”
“No, it’s about you having doubts and using any obstacle you see as an excuse to cut and run.” I give him a disdainful once-over.
“It’s not an excuse, Carter. It’s reality. Your dad will never accept us and choosing me could cost you the resort. It could ruin the town. I can’t let that happen.” He winces slightly when his eyes meet mine, only this time his watery gaze stays locked on my face.
“My plans for the resort are viable whether I’m the one spearheading them or not,” I grit, trying not to lose my shit. “If they want to put someone else in charge, so be it. I’d happily give up the resort to keep you.”
“But who would they replace you with? The highest bidder?” His Adam’s apple bobs heavily as he swallows back a sob. “We both know if your dad has the opportunity to unload the resort and bring you to work for him, he’ll take it. You told me as much. But this town deserves someone who loves it the way it is, the way you do, and there’s no guarantee your replacement wouldn’t just see dollar signs everywhere. I can’t leave its future to chance.” Sloan swivels his head methodically back and forth.
“You think this place means shit to me if I don’t have you?” My hands ball into fists at my side.
“Yes.” His normally pouty lips quiver as he tries to force them to smile. “You wouldn’t have come back here if it wasn’t special to you.”
“That was before.” I turn away, running a hand through my hair so I don’t punch a wall.
“Nothing’s changed…”
“Everything’s changed!” My voice booms so loud he takes a step back, hands shaking as he wrings them together in front of his waist. I take a calming breath and start over. “Everything’s changed, Sloan.”
He wipes a tear off his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “Not the reason you came here in the first place.” He sniffs. “The town still needs you. They need your vision for the resort.”
“What about you? Do you need me?” Say yes. We can figure out the rest as long as you just say yes.
“The town needs you more.” Once again, he can’t meet my eyes as he speaks.
“And to think I used to find your compassion so endearing.” I shake my head, wondering how the thing that drew me to him could turn into the thing driving us apart. It makes me proud and sick at the same time, though my own pride won’t let me acknowledge that.
“Leave your key on the counter on your way out.”
I walk down the hall to my bedroom, tuning out the muffled sniffing from the man behind me. He’s no longer my concern.
***
The water cascades over me, coaxing my tired limbs to life. It does nothing to wake my mind though, which has been in a perpetual fog since Sloan left five days ago.
As someone who avoided attachments, it shocks me how quickly and easily I became attached to him. How empty my life is when he’s not in it. I want to hate him for that, for introducing me to love and then taking it away, especially under the guise that it’s the best thing for the town .
The irony is he’s not wrong. It may very well be the best thing for the town to drive this project forward regardless of how it affects us personally. As a CEO, I understand the logic. As a man I’m not sure how to live with it. Or if I even have a choice, given he’s no longer here.
Clean and marginally more coherent, I dress in my favorite navy suit and head to the kitchen to start coffee. It’s nearly finished brewing when a sharp knock on the door prevents me from getting a cup.
Curious—I almost never have unannounced company—I pull it open and find myself face-to-face with my father.
I study him for a moment, recognizing myself in his features. Tall, broad-shouldered, brown eyes which look somewhat imposing under thick brows. His face is rounder, his hair showing hints of grey, but the resemblance is as strong as ever. Right now, it makes me resent him even more.
“Aren’t you going to invite me inside?”
I step aside and extend my hand toward the living room. Closing the door behind him, I make my way back to the kitchen. “Coffee?”
“Please.”
I take another mug from the cupboard and pour him some, setting it on the counter so neither of us has to handle the scalding hot cup.
“I didn’t think I’d see you before the meeting.” I slide the mug toward him when he makes no move to take it.
“You had some decisions to make before then. I thought it best we go over those.” He brings the steaming liquid to his mouth and takes a sip.
“It’s not a problem anymore. Sloan no longer works for me.”
“You weren’t supposed to fire him,” he says sternly.
“I didn’t. He left.”
“That’s a better outcome than I hoped for. I’m proud of you for making the right decision, son. ”
I blow on my coffee, a lame attempt to keep my words to myself. It doesn’t work. “I didn’t get a chance to make it. If I had, I would’ve chosen him.” I don’t add that I still might. I’d rather spring that one on him with the board as witnesses.
The cup stops halfway to his lips. “I’m sorry?”
“If he’d have stuck around long enough, I would’ve chosen him. But he said my vision for the resort was too important to the town for him to get in the way. So, he left.”
“Well,” my dad sputters the way he does when he can’t decide if he should lecture me about or ignore my faults. “That’s for the best. Even if he no longer works for you he started off as your employee, and your career doesn’t need to get run through the mud over that technicality.”
My mug cracks against the granite counter when I set it down with too much force, causing my father to jump. “My career,” I snort. “If anything, Sloan’s the reason my career is ready to take off. He helped me find an alternative solution to the expansion plans when the first idea fell through. He helped me earn the town’s support for the plans to expand. None of this would be possible without him.”
“You’re giving him credit for your vision?” My dad sets his coffee down and crosses his arms in front of his chest, his way of demanding I elaborate.
“I’m giving him credit with helping bring it to fruition, yes.” I match his stance.
“And what qualifies someone who works in the spa to offer input on the operations of the resort?”
“Don’t assume the position he held temporarily has any bearing on his ability to offer meaningful insight. Sloan has great management instincts, and as a lifelong skier he’s just as qualified to evaluate skiable terrain as anyone on the board. Maybe even more so. ”
I don’t know why I’m defending the man who broke my heart to my father. Maybe I want him to know he’s not always right. He doesn’t always have the answers. Even if it doesn’t change things with Sloan, it gives me satisfaction to dispute him.
“That’s all well and good but being a lifelong skier wouldn’t convince the board your plan is a good one.” He sets his hands on the countertop and leans forward. “Unless he’s qualified on paper, he’s a liability.”
“We don’t have to worry about that now, do we?” I fling my mug against the backsplash, shards of ceramic flying in all directions as coffee runs across the counter and drips onto the floor. “In addition to giving up the position that was a stepping-stone to the job he wanted so I could maintain my role, he left me entirely so he couldn’t be used as an excuse not to approve the expansion. Problem solved, right?”
Chest heaving under the weight of my angry breath, I stare my father down, daring him to give me another justification for why Sloan was expendable. Instead of giving me the fight I’m now itching for, he seems to deflate before my eyes. The sight is almost as jarring as the next words out of his mouth.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were in love with him?” His soft voice almost sounds… sad?
“What?” My foot slips on the wet floor as I take a step back, forcing me to grip the counter for support. “You told me it was reckless to date an employee in my position.” That’s the only answer I have for a question I never expected him to ask.
“It is. That doesn’t mean the risk isn’t worth it, for the right person.”
“What?” My heartbeat is so loud in my chest I think it’s messing with my hearing.
“How do you think I met your mother?” His curious gaze has me racking my brain for stories from their past, though nothing comes to mind. My parents love each other, I’ve never doubted that, but either they aren’t very nostalgic, or I wasn’t around enough to witness it, because I can’t recall how they met. When I offer no answer, he continues. “She was my secretary. It was a conflict of interest, but we both thought the risk was worth it. We were right. We’ve been married over thirty years.”
“You’re saying it wasn’t stupid to get involved with Sloan? Because that’s exactly what I heard over the phone.” I wipe my hand over my face with a groan. What is happening right now?
“I’m saying, for the right person, the rewards can outweigh the risks. Sounds to me like this Sloan could fall into that category. I wish you would have told me how you felt about him.”
My eyes roll back into my head, something they only seem to do when dealing with my father. “You didn’t give me the chance. You were pretty adamant that I’d fucked up.”
He winces from my vulgarity, or maybe his own guilt, and the petty side of me that blames him for Sloan’s loss swells with pride for making him feel a fraction of the pain I do. But the part of me that’s always wanted his approval feels like a petulant child for snapping. Despite the conflicting emotions, I stay silent, waiting for his response.
“A father only ever wants the best for his son.” My dad’s eyes look tired when they meet mine.
“Is that supposed to be an apology? And if that’s true, why the ultimatum about working for you if the resort doesn’t take off, because nothing would make me more miserable than working in a job I hate.” I want to believe him, but I’m not sure how. Not yet, and until I am, I have to remain skeptical .
“Just because I want you to be happy doesn’t mean I won’t push you to succeed. I knew that ultimatum would make you challenge yourself.” His chest inflates as he tips his chin up, a silent message that I’m not to question his methods. The irony is I don’t need to. Now that I understand where he’s coming from, I see the logic in his strategy. It doesn’t make him less of an asshole, but I get it.
I’m not sure I can forgive him for it yet.
“It did.” I dip my chin slowly. “But it also led Sloan to believe I had to choose between him and this resort.”
“Admirable,” my father mutters.
“Yes,” I agree. “Although, if I don’t have Sloan, I don’t want the resort either. I can’t live here without him.”
“So, where do things stand with the boy?” His tone is all business though his eyes have lost the piercing edge they had just seconds ago. Almost like he’s genuinely concerned.
“I don’t know.” I exhale heavily, too exhausted to keep my guard up. “We haven’t talked since he moved out. For all I know he left town.”
“Maybe he isn’t the right man after all, if he chose to leave.”
“How can you say that after what I just told you? He gave up everything for the people in this town. I don’t know anyone else that selfless and considerate, and as much as I want to resent him for it, it only makes me respect him more. If that doesn’t make him the right man, then I don’t think such a thing exists.”
“It exists. And I agree, I think it could be him. Forgive me.” He holds up a hand to stop my objection. “I had to make sure.”
I narrow my gaze. My father isn’t known for his reassuring gestures, so I’m not sure what to make of this conversation. “Make sure of what?”
“That you still believe he’s the one. He did leave…”
“Because of you.” I point a finger at his chest .
“Yes. And if you couldn’t forgive him for that then I’d be trying to talk you out of fixing things. But you’ve already forgiven him, you said as much just now. So go get him.”
A humorless laugh rumbles up my throat. “I don’t deserve Sloan unless I can undo what happened with his job. I gave my word it’d be safe. Will the board still consider it a conflict if he takes it back?”
“They might, although they’re unlikely to make a fuss about it if I approve.” My father lifts his chin with pride.
My muscles seem to breathe for the first time in days as relief washes over me. Without the board hanging over our heads, there’s no reason for Sloan to play the martyr. It’s a better outcome than I could’ve hoped for. And yet, something about this doesn’t feel right. It takes only a second for me to realize why.
“I don’t want you to give me your support.” I shift my head slowly back and forth.
“What?” The shock on his face would be comical if I weren’t serious.
“No special favors. Sloan wouldn’t want that, and neither do I. The board either accepts our relationship or they don’t, but as CEO it’s my job to present my own case.”
His eyes crinkle at the corners as the hint of a smile ghosts his lips. I haven’t seen this look on his face since before I retired from skiing, back when I knew he was proud of me. Despite all the headaches he’s given me over the past year, it’s one I always hoped to see again.
He blinks a few times and clears his throat. “When do I get to meet this man?”
“I need to win him back first. After that, I’ll bring him home to meet you and Mom.”