5. Killian
“Where is my niece?” I demand, making a nurse jump. Useless.
“Who is your niece, sir?”
The same nurse who looked fearful just a moment ago tries to act professionally, using her confident and calm voice. It’s probably something they were taught to do, and it only irritates me more.
All I care about at this moment is to see the two kids who were left alone and are now orphans.
The same kids you neglected, the shadows accuse, trying to control me again. Not now, I answer. They’ll have plenty of time to chastise me later.
Liam steps in front of me.
“He’s looking for Constanza and Amado Fierro. Killian is their uncle. The children’s parents are no longer with us,” Liam explains, using his diplomatic voice as he plays with his pinky ring.
Gone is the crazy fucker. Liam left him in the air.
The woman, who appeared calm for a moment, stops in her tracks. Over these last few years, I’ve made sure just the mention of our last name would evoke fear. That when people heard the name Fierro, they thought of danger and power. People know who we are. They fear us as they fucking should.
“Connie is with her aunt,” the nurse explains. “She arrived a few minutes ago with her friends. Such a sweet and caring woman. The second she came, Connie relaxed.”
Raven is here. That’s good. The kids do love her. Fuck, everyone loves Raven. I nod to the woman. My sunshine will be good with Connie.
“What about Amado?” Liam asks, speaking gently, knowing that three huge men in suits next to one with jeans and a black skull t-shirt that fails to hide his scars can intimidate even the bravest soldier, let alone a nurse who’s just doing her job.
“He’s in the nursery. The little guy is fine. They’re both fine in the physical sense. They weren’t hurt by...” The woman stops, probably too scared to finish out of fear I’m no different from their father.
“By the monster who was my brother and who killed their mother. You can say it.”
Something akin to respect flashes across the woman’s face. I will not be the protector of that fucker, not even in his death.
“Take me to Connie. Liam, Kai, can you check on Amado for me? Madd and I will go to see his princess.” The two morons I have for friends nod and go in search of the toddler.
What am I going to do with two kids?Madd looks as worried as I feel. But knowing I have him by my side helps.
The nurse motions for us to follow her and begins chattering away, probably trying to mask her fear.
“As I said, the children’s aunt is with Connie now, so she’s calmer than she was before, but you need to know that the child’s emotions run high right now,” the nurse says as she opens the door.
Wild waters, lilacs, and heaven engulf me, and my heart beats again for the first time in years. The shadows that have lived out of my anger try to hold on but are gone in an instant because she is here.
My woman, she’s alive, here, with me.
“Hey, Little Girl.”
The words come out of their own accord, and she turns to look at me. The blue in her eyes is stronger than I remember, probably due to sadness.
“Four f—”
“Uncle!” Connie calls out.
Maricela lets her down.
“Uncle Madd!” she wails.
Maddox scoops her up as gently as he can, whispering to her as she cries in his arms.
I just stand here, taking in the sight of Maricela.
She looks nothing like the strong, determined woman I knew. The woman in front of me appears smaller than ever. The first thing I notice is her eyes. I can’t see the color well from where I’m standing, but I can see that the determination and challenge that was an essential part of Maricela is gone.
Her full lips are chapped, and her skin looks as if it’s lost all its shine. Despite that, she is the most beautiful thing in this room, tragically so because I know that even now, I will ruin her for what she did.
To me.
To herself.
To us.
Fuck Maricela. My Maricela.
“Who are you?”
Her voice is like a punch in the gut, beautiful and melodic, but it lacks something. The life I always detected in her, the fire. It’s ridiculous. I know nothing about this version of my woman.
She just lost her sister, you moron. The same voice that controlled my so-called conscience tells me, sounding different in my head now.
I am definitely crazy. The voice of reason that always blamed me for not talking to her and not telling her everything woke me up, leaving the shadows behind.
The fucker voice that boycotted me not long after she disappeared. Apparently, my scruples woke up, and they didn’t like the man I became.
Too fucking bad. It’s not like I had a choice in the matter.
You did.
“My brother. He was in jail.”
I expect shock, anger, or at least interest when I tell her the news about my other brother, but she appears emotionless.
This woman is not Maricela. She should gloat at hiding from me so well. Where is her devastation, her fury, her contempt?
There is nothing. Her face and even her eyes are devoid of emotion.
Raven says, “Franco had a romance with a woman when Santino was two years old. Maddox is the fruit of that relationship,” she explains gently, too gently, as if she’s speaking to a wounded animal.
Maricela’s hands close into fists, but that’s all I get in acknowledgment. That and a fucking nod to Raven.
I look at my Rav and see the guilt on her face, which tells me that Liam was right all along. She knew. She knew where Maricela was and chose not to tell me.
“We’re going to talk about this,” I tell Raven.
The anger that I saw in her eyes all those years ago hasn’t subsided. She has no right to be mad at me. It wasn’t her call to make. This feud is between my little girl and me.
“I want to go to the fairy auntie,” Connie says loud enough for all to hear, her little face still buried in Madd’s shirt. “Mommy told me she would take care of me because she had to. She told me auntie must pay a dep’.”
Connie slides to the floor and runs to Maricela, but not before her familiar blue eyes, just like my mother’s, take a long moment to stare at me.
Connie and I never developed much of a relationship. I usually ignored her whenever she tried to talk to me, mostly about Hero. Serena hated the dog that became my companion.
I didn’t continue living at the mansion after graduating from the university, but each time I came to the family home with Hero, he would growl at Serena while trying to play with Connie. Animals know and feel things adults miss every single time.
“A debt,” Raven explains. “It’s when you owe something to someone.”
Connie just nods, waiting for Maricela to pick her up, and she does. Cradling the child into her breast looks natural. Right.
“You came back,” I say like a moron.
While all I want to do is push her to her knees and make her pay for what she’s done, to choke her to the point she comes undone beneath me. To chain her with shackles that will ensure she stays here with me.
“We need to talk, Little Girl. You’ll have to pay.” Still nothing.
Raven stands and stomps over to me with all kinds of rage in her eyes.
“She’s in shock. Her sister just died, and you want to talk to her about your reasons for being a dirtbag?”
“Raven,” Maddox warns.
“No, Madd. I learned to like you, but the only thing that matters now is the children. And my nice act will not cover his actions. Connie and Amado are the ones who matter now, not the almighty King Killian and his entourage.”
I just now notice the two men standing in the corner of the room, Ronen and Julian, trying to look as though they aren’t paying attention to this conversation. It’s college all over again.
Madd sighs. “The kids will be taken care of, you know that. Don’t be a brat.” Madd is pissed now. Nobody talks ill about his younger brother, not even Raven.
“I don’t know that. And this is not the time or the place to discuss it. Mari is home. She came back. And it wasn’t for him, but for them. So, he’ll respect her. He’ll just have to understand that he isn’t the god he thinks he is.”
Maricela starts to sing to the crying child in Spanish, which makes Raven shut up.
“That’s it, sweet angel. Todo va a estar bien,” Maricela promises in a gentle voice, saying that everything will be okay.
God, I missed her voice. I know it makes me an asshole, but I’m not sorry for the death of Santino or the death of Serena.
Maricela never had the chance to see the woman her sister became the second she left our world to hide and do God knows what.
Sarena was a monster. She did horrible things, things I will have to change now that she’s gone.
“Me prometes?” Connie asks, reminding me she understands basic Spanish and Italian.
I know that the promises my little girl—this woman I don’t know anymore—gives to my niece are to her ears alone, so I let them be, holding myself back from taking Maricela by the hair and fucking her.
She’s changed, but I’m the same animal who craves her.
An animal that will destroy every single thing that hurt her. Even myself.
A knock at the door causes Connie to cringe in her aunt’s arms.
“It’s just Liam and Kai,” Maddox assures the little girl.
The quiet voice doesn’t suit me. That gentleness never sat well with me, which is why Connie was always attached to her second uncle, Maddox.
“Du... ma... du....” Amado demands. My big brother is right. The first word out of this baby’s mouth will be his name.
“Come here, big boy,” Maddox coos. “You’re almost there.”
Madd takes Amado from Liam, letting the boy tug at his ears. Probably because the kid can’t find any hair on Madd’s head. The antics of the boy aren’t a bother for my big brother, as he lets Amado do what he wants.
As soon as Connie hears her brother enter the room, she peeks over Maricela’s shoulder. I look at the scene and am reminded of how tiny Maricela always seemed, specifically next to men as big as we are.
Breakable, yet strong.
I don’t see that strength now. This woman would crumble into tiny particles with a few chosen words. I don’t know how I know it, but I do. It’s as if life holds her in a world she doesn’t want to take part in.
Our eyes meet for the briefest of moments, but instead of glaring or rolling her eyes as she used to. She turns her head as if afraid.
Maricela glances at Maddox, who lets Amado nibble on his nose.
“Can I see him?” The hesitant voice and the stiff posture don’t suit her at all.
She’s too careful, too fearful. Where is her fire? Where is the slap for the video? Where is the fucking drama? Nothing I expected happens.
Connie agrees to get down on the floor, and Maricela approaches the boy, who smiles at her with two front teeth that only recently appeared.
“Hola, Amado,” Maricela says sweetly, reminding me of the girl I used to know.
The gentleness she showed Connie when she was a baby is the same as she now shows Amado, giving me a glimmer of hope. She’s still there, buried under the mourning and the marks that were left on her, partly by me. All I have to do is rekindle her flame.
“Can I hold you?”
Amado, who is used to being passed from one person to the other, leaps toward Maricela, who barely has enough time to catch him.
A smile, a sincere and pure smile covers her face. One that I got to see when I won her heart, and I silently vow to see one on her face every day for the rest of our lives.
Maricela Fernandez, you are mine. You were always mine, and you will always be mine. I won’t let you get away a second time.
You will have to spend the rest of your life paying for what you did. You will let me hate you until all that remains is us.
I vow to myself.
Time stands still as I study the little boy now in her arms. I never gave him the time he deserved, as finding and recapturing the heart of the woman who left me behind has consumed my every thought for four long years.
Liam turns to Raven and Maricela with a sneer.
“Hello, Rotten One. I see you haven’t changed a bit.” He stops looking at Raven, pure contempt in his eyes, before he adds, “You look nice with kids in your arms, and I see I wasn’t mistaken. Your three musketeers knew where you were the entire time.” Liam, in true Liam nature, tries to break the ice while adding gasoline to start a fire.
“Hello to you too. I see you haven’t changed as well. Still treating Raven as if she was the plague itself.” There she is. Under what I assume is pain and sorrow, she is still here.
“You were the one who left like a coward,” Liam bites back. “I never took you for one.”
Maricela flinches, and Raven steps between them. “You shut up. All of you. None of you have the right to speak to her. You all knew what he did, what he was doing the entire time,” Raven screeches, pointing her accusatory finger at me, “and you did nothing.”
Turning to face Liam directly, she says, “I don’t really expect much of you, dear future husband, but you, Kai. I thought you were better than that.”
She lets out a frustrated breath. “Who am I lying to? I’m surrounded by killers. Four merciless, unapologetic killers.”
Liam scoffs. “Are you done, Ugly Birdy? You just confirmed our job description to your two best friends.”
I look at the two men in question, who just stand there, showing no concern.
Julian shakes his head. “We both know what you are. We have parents. Killian here saved Ronen’s sister. Remember? Plus, I would like to bang one of you.”
Julian is looking clearly at my brother. Not again. I’m not witnessing another one of Maddox’s fuck fests.
“So, I was right,” Liam says again. “You all knew where she was, and what? You let him search for her for four years and laughed at him all the while?”
Connie’s tears trigger Amado’s own crying.
“Shut up!” Maricela screams. “You’re all scaring the kids. Get out, everyone. I don’t want to see any of you.
“Yes, Angel?” she asks the girl, her tone gentling instantly.
Connie whispers to her auntie, and Maricela says, “Everyone but Maddox. She wants him to stay. Everyone else leaves the room immediately. You can kill each other outside of this room, and I’ll pay for my actions later.”