Chapter Six
Cypress
After Zephyr finally fell asleep, I lay awake, thinking.
I stayed very still, not wanting to disturb her, but my mind was anything but quiet.
I had no business mating Zephyr without telling her more about what it meant to be a shifter, at least in the pack I grew up in.
But I never thought that it would come up.
We’d moved away when I was so young and I had never been back.
And in all the time we’d been together, nothing had occurred to change my belief that Zephyr and I were destined to be together with no others involved.
My parents, as she knew them, were a couple because my other father had passed away before we met, and apparently they hadn’t mentioned him either.
Why didn’t I? It wasn’t as if I was ashamed of my past or my people.
Certainly not my family. Lying there with my eyes closed, I pictured my mate the first time I saw her.
I’d never encountered anyone as beautiful, and my wolf was on full alert and chanting mate.
I would have done anything to be with her, apparently up to and including lies by omission.
“If you’re going to thrash around, we might as well talk about whatever is bothering you.” Zephyr sat up and plumped the pillows behind her. “I thought you were asleep.”
“I thought you were.”
She snorted. “I was until your restlessness woke me.”
“I’m sorry. After your long day, too. Really, just go back to sleep.”
“Not with something bothering you so much. You’re going to have to talk to me, or nobody is sleeping tonight.”
My mate was one of the sweetest people I’d ever met and often, she was content to let me make our plans.
She worked so hard at the coffeehouse that I tried to take other burdens from her shoulders.
She was also one of the stubbornest females ever born, but I didn’t hate that about her.
As an alpha, I had a tendency to be pushy, and Zephyr could hold her own and remind me that she wanted a mate and not a boss.
And she always put my needs first.
“It’s very late to take up a big issue,” Can you say excuse? “How about at breakfast tomorrow.”
“Cypress, please?” Her jaw set in that stubborn mode that told me she had not been lying. Talk or stay awake and talk about talking. Not much of a choice there.
“All right. But try not to hate me.” I wouldn’t have blamed her.
“Sit next to me.” She fluffed my pillow just like hers. “And whatever is worrying you, we’ll solve it together. It’s not your parents, is it? They’re okay?” Trust my mate to always think of others. “And you feel okay?”
“I feel like shit.” I held up a hand to stop her from assuming I was sick. “But it’s not physical. I’ve kept some things from you. I thought they didn’t matter, that they’d never come into play, but I see now how wrong I was.”
“I think you might need to rest your head in my lap for this one.” She patted her blanket-covered thighs. Sometimes it was hard to look someone in the eye revealing difficult truths, and she’d always understood that.
So, I did as she suggested, her scent and softness easing my fears and doubts a little. She might leave me if she considered this a big enough betrayal. A human should be able to survive without their mate better than a shifter. Small comfort.
“Now, comfortable?” She stroked my hair, smoothing it back from my forehead. “Talk to me, mate of mine. What can be so big and terrible that you are afraid to tell me about it? Haven’t we dealt with a lot so far?”
“Yes.”
“We’ve survived in the past and we will do it now.”
Please let her be right.
“When you got those ads, it made me think about something I’d tried to suppress a long time ago.
” Grateful I couldn’t see her expression because it might have shut me down, I plowed on.
“When I was a little boy, we lived in a pack where reverse harems were the norm. Most families consisted of one mom and two or more dads.”
“But you only have one mom and dad, right?”
“No…well, I do now. My other dad passed away before we met.”
“I had no idea you were a partial orphan. I’m so sorry.
” She dropped a kiss on my head. “It must have been so hard for you and your other parents. Wait…why didn’t anyone mention him?
We could have had a little memorial table for him at the wedding like my cousin did for her late mom. Don’t you miss him?”
“He died in a traffic accident, and it was so sudden and traumatic, I don’t think they talk about him much at all, and I was only eleven when he died, so I fell into the same habit. I do think of him a lot. But the habit not to talk is engrained.”
“You poor baby.” Zephyr’s voice shook. “I think it would be better if you did talk about him. Unless you don’t want to.”
“I do, but it might be hard.”
“Well, I’m here for you anytime. You know that. And I won’t say anything to your mom and dad. If they prefer to hold their thoughts and memories inside, that’s their choice. Anyway, so you grew up with a lot of families with one mom and more dads.”
“And then we moved away, right after my other dad died. And it was just us, no pack. One mom, one dad, one child.”
“I see.” She breathed slow and calm, soothing me more. “And when I got that ad, you must have had thoughts? Do you want to have a third in our life? Would that be a better kind of relationship for you?”
Easing back from Zephyr’s lap, I sat up and looked her in eye, needing that now. “Mate, are you saying that if I told you I need or want another man in our relationship, you’d say yes, just like that?”
“No.” She shook her head. “Nothing that important is ‘just like that.’ It would be a big change and something we’d need to think carefully about. Not just doing it but how would we find the right person. Through this dating app?”
“Zephyr, why am I always amazed by you?”
“No idea.” She kissed me softly then smiled. “It would be a big change, but I’ve always known mating a shifter is different and more than marrying a human. So, I have questions. Like, in the bedroom…what is that like?”
I confirmed to her that I was very straight and would not want to have sex with another man. I didn’t care if anyone else did, but it was not my thing. Most reverse harems, to my knowledge, were two guys who made love to their female.
“So, one at a time? Do we all sleep together or take turns?”
“That would up to us. But most often, I think everyone shares a bed. As to having sex—because I know that’s the next question—again, up to the people involved.
Some like to just be one-on-one, and other females prefer to make love with more than one of their mates at a time. It’s just all about her.”
Her eyes widened. “So, two or more hot shifters focused on me in bed? Where’s the downside?” She giggled. “Joking, but not?”
“I get it. And the downside is, everyone is a person and it’s not just about the sex. Just like any relationship, it’s people sharing their day-to-day, with all its ups and downs, beauty and ugliness.”
“Okay, here’s my next question. How many other men do you need in my bed?”
“Blunt. But you know I like that. Before I left the pack, my best friend and I made a pact to share a mate when we grew up. That didn’t guarantee Fate would go along with it, but we believed she would. He is the only person I can imagine in that role with us.”
“Well, call him. See if he’s still available so we can all talk.” She reached for my phone on the nightstand charger. “Here.”
“I can’t…I don’t have his number.”
“How…”
“When we left, we never went back. We moved very far away, and if I asked to visit, they were really vague, but we didn’t.”
“And you never spoke with your friend again?” She reached for my hand. “Oh, mate.”
“I was eleven and didn’t have any access to tech until after we moved. Birch didn’t either and we lost touch. So, I don’t know how to reach him or if he’d even want to hear from me. I did look online a few times, but…”
“Cypress…I’m so sorry.” Zephyr lifted my hand to her lips and kissed it. “It all must have been so hard.”
My mate always listened. A rare quality and one of her best.
“Let’s get some rest and talk about this more tomorrow, all right?” She pulled me down next to her and into her arms. “Thank you for opening up to me.”
Nothing more. I should have realized she’d put me first, not freak out because something was new to her and I’d not mentioned it.