2. Legacy
CHAPTER 2
LEGACY
W aking up in my new place felt like a breath of fresh air. The past five years hadn’t been easy, and it had taken my departure from the chaos of my past in Chicago to finally find sobriety. I’d spent the last five years making amends, trying to right the wrongs I’d committed, and earn back the trust of the people I’d hurt. But it didn’t seem genuine from so far away. There was always something missing. There was always a piece of me that longed to be closer to my kids and family. So, I made the decision to move back to Chicago, to be closer to them and to try to rebuild what I’d broken.
As I lay there in bed, memories of my time in Houston flooded back—late nights working to stay sober and early mornings spent reflecting on the mistakes I’d made. But now, as I looked around my new condo, I felt hope and possibility. This was my chance to start over, to be the man my kids and family deserved.
As I stretched, preparing to climb out of the comfy California King, my phone rang, breaking the morning silence. Glancing at the caller ID, I saw it was Ekon, my business partner back in Houston. We'd been through a lot together, especially during those early days of getting clean.
"What up?" I answered, my voice still heavy with sleep.
"Legacy, how's it going?"
"Can't complain, just getting settled into the new place," I replied, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
Ekon chuckled. "I bet, man. How's everything going with the new branch?"
I sighed, running a hand over waves that I should have protected with a durag while I slept. "It's a work in progress, but it’s running smoother than I had expected. A lot of the Houston clients came through with putting a word in with their circle up here, so I already have a few clients and events lined up. I was able to hire two good guys last night."
One of the main things that my addiction had taken away from me was my bag. The other one was my family. So, establishing my security firm in Houston four years ago was a monumental step in my journey to sobriety. Once I got clean, I poured all my energy into building a lucrative and legal business. Legacy Protection Solutions offered guard and patrol services. I provided security guards for commercial buildings, residential areas, industrial sites, high-profile events, and personal protection.
But what set my firm apart was its presence in the music and entertainment industry. It became the go-to security provider for high-end clients and exclusive events in Houston. It was a niche market that we thrived in and it cemented our reputation as the best in the business.
When I made the decision to move back to Chicago, I knew I wanted to bring my business with me. Opening a Chicago branch was the next logical step, a way to expand my reach and continue building on the success I'd achieved in Houston.
Ekon, my friend and fellow NA partner, had stepped up to the plate, taking full management responsibility of the Houston branch while I focused on building up the one here in Chicago.
"That's what I like to hear, bro. You know I've got your back here in Houston, holding down the fort while you work your magic in Chicago.”
"Appreciate it, man. Couldn't do it without you," I said sincerely. Ekon had been more than just a business partner. He’d also been a rock during some of my darkest moments as I fought for sobriety.
"Anytime, bro. You know I got you,” Ekon said, his tone shifting. "But listen, man, I know this transition can be tough. Moving to a new city, starting fresh—it can bring up a lot of shit."
I nodded, even though he couldn't see me through the phone. "Yeah, it's been a lil’ overwhelming, to be honest. But I'm taking it one day at a time."
"That's all you can do, dawg. Just remember to lean on your support system, especially during moments like these. And stay away from things and people that can trigger you.”
“I feel that. When I moved to Houston, I cut off my old crew. They all enabled my bullshit. So, staying away from most of my triggers shouldn’t be an issue. I got a therapist to help me with the triggers I can’t avoid, though.” I chuckled dryly, thinking of my mother and Bless.
Ekon chuckled as well. “Have you found a new NA meeting in Chicago?"
"Yeah, I found a place," I replied. "My first meeting is Monday. But I decided to keep my therapist from Houston. We already have a rapport, and I trust her. We're going to have video sessions."
"That's what’s up, bro. You already know it's important to have consistency, especially when it comes to your recovery. Just make sure you stay connected with your support network and reach out if you need help. You know I got your back."
A small, proud grin formed as I stared up at the ceiling. Ekon had been clean for eight years. He had more skin in the game, so I looked up to him when it came to staying clean. Yet, he also looked up to me because I had more experience getting a bag. In exchange for his support with my sobriety, I had brought him in as a business partner in my security firm, giving him his first chance at lucrative entrepreneurship.
"Thanks, man,” I told him. “I appreciate it more than you know."
"Anytime. You've come a long way, and I have no doubt you'll continue to thrive in Chicago.”
Nervously, I rode the elevator up to the third floor of the building where Bless lived. The familiar pit of anxiety tossed violently in my stomach as I prepared to lay eyes on her. The thought of seeing her on a regular basis now that I was back in Chicago unraveled my nerves.
Every time I visited home in the past, the mere sight of her would send my emotions into a tailspin. The longing for her mixed with the shame of losing such a perfect woman and breaking her heart was unbearable. I would always find myself fleeing back to Houston, desperate to escape the memories and the pain.
I'd been with other women since Bless left me, but none of them came close to filling the void she had left behind. I was obsessed with her, consumed by thoughts of her even when she was miles away. Now that I was living in Chicago fulltime, the prospect of being separated from her while still carrying her in my heart was a daunting one. It was so daunting that my sobriety would feel like it was slipping through my fingers.
I wanted her back. I wanted us back. But I knew that the damage I’d done was irreparable. And she had hurt me when she left and kept the kids from me. Although it had pushed me to sobriety, it had also caused a rift between me, her, and Eden that felt irreversible. I had resentment that kept my feelings for her on the inside, where no one else, especially not Bless, could see them.
As I stepped off the elevator, the lively voices of my kids filled the hallway, pulling a smile to my ears. It felt good to know that this was no longer just a temporary weekend stay but a permanent part of my life again. The front door of Bless' condo was unlocked, since she had buzzed me into the security door downstairs.
Pushing the door open slowly, I was greeted by the aroma of breakfast food wafting through the air. The kids were buzzing around, caught up in their morning routine, unaware of my arrival. Bless stood with her back to me, her messy bun perched on top of her head and her signature glasses framing her face. She'd worn those glasses since I met her because she hated putting contacts in her eyes.
I relished the sight of her mature, bountiful curves swaying gently in her robe. Her curves made the stains of daily cooking and cleaning on it look like art. She moved with grace that captivated me. She was so beautiful and sweet that she must piss honey.
“Put those toys down and get your shoes on, Riley,” Bless rushed.
“Okay, Mommy–"
“Daddy!” Zara exclaimed, stealing my attention. As she rushed towards me.
Riley’s eyes followed her, causing a grin to form on her chubby cheeks.
As Eden and Bless froze up at the announcement of my presence, Zara and Riley rushed towards me with open arms. It was a familiar ritual, Riley and Zara the only two who were genuinely happy to see me. I enveloped Zara in a tight hug and lifted Riley up into my arms.
But my gaze remained fixed on Bless, watching as her expression turned stoic. Then she forced her attention on Eden. “Go get your bag. Hurry up.”
As usual, Eden didn't offer me a greeting, walking right past me without a word, silently reminding me of the distance that was now between us too.
“You’re getting heavy, girl.” I chuckled as I stood Riley on the floor.
As she giggled, Bless rushed her and Zara as well. “Go get your bags so you guys can leave. And, Riley, put your shoes on like I told you to.”
Once the kids had disappeared into their rooms, Bless finally spoke to me with a voice barely above a whisper as she busied herself cleaning up the kitchen. With her eyes fixed on the dishes in front of her, she asked, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Yeah, it was fine," I replied, attempting to maintain a casual tone despite the rapid thumping of my heart, as I watched her effortlessly exude allure while going about the most mundane of tasks. "How have you been?"
Bless shrugged, avoiding my gaze. "Busy. You know how it is."
I nodded slowly, trying to find something to say to get her attention. But all that I could come up with was, "Yeah, I get it."
“Did you get here in time last night to put their beds together?”
Though I had just arrived the night before, I had had my place for two months. I had taken that time to furnish it completely so that as soon as I moved back, the kids could spend as much time there as they could.
“Yeah, I was up until three in the morning. I should have hired somebody.” I chuckled dryly, hoping for her to join me.
But instead, she sighed heavily, finally looking at me. I hated that my past actions had taken away all sense of trust, love, and security when she gave me her eyes.
“Are you sure moving back here was a good idea?”
I lightly scoffed, raising my shoulders. “Life has shown me that I can’t be sure about anything. But I know I’ll do my best to ensure that it turns out to be a good idea. I have a handle on my sobriety—”
“I’m not really talking about that. What about the beefs you created back then? Do you think it’s safe for you to be back?”
“I handled all of that before coming back. I have it under control.”
She didn’t believe me. I could see the ever-present doubt in her eyes. She sighed deeply and returned her stoic gaze to the dishes in front of her.
The silence that followed was heavy with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. As much as I wanted to bridge the gap between us, I knew it was irreparable.