15. Legacy
CHAPTER 15
LEGACY
I tucked Riley in bed, smoothing the covers over her small frame. She looked up at me with those big, hopeful eyes and asked, "Daddy, can you read me a bedtime story?"
Looking down on her, I smiled. "Of course, I got you, baby.” I reached for her favorite book, My First Daddy Daughter Dance by Caryn Lee, on her nightstand. As soon as I started to read, her eyes grew heavy. She fought sleep the entire time I read to her.
When I finished the story, she looked at me with a pleading gaze. "Daddy, can you stay with me?" she begged sleepily.
I smiled softly, brushing a strand of curly hair from her face. "Riley, your bed is too small for Daddy," I said gently. "But I promise I'll pick you up in the morning, and we'll go to McDonald's for breakfast before I take you to daycare."
Her face lit up with a grin. “Okay, Daddy," she murmured, already drifting off.
I watched her for a moment, my heart swelling with love and pride. No matter the mistakes I had made in life, my kids were never one of them. I loved them with all of me and was so happy to be their father.
I leaned down and kissed her forehead, then stood up, and walked to the door. I turned off the light, leaving the room in a gentle shadow.
As I left Riley's room, closing the door gently behind me, I saw Bless coming toward me. She avoided my gaze just as she had been doing since I’d arrived to help with the kids for the evening. It had been two days since we’d been intimate, and I’d given her space because I wasn’t ready to have the much-needed conversation about what it meant or if it would happen again. She’d been avoiding me too, probably for the same reasons.
As Bless passed Eden’s room, she stopped, catching something out of the corner of her eye. She immediately started fussing at Eden. "I told you to go to bed! Get off that phone!"
I approached, seeing Eden putting his phone on his nightstand with a defiant scowl on his face.
"Eden, you need to listen to your mother before I buss yo’ ass!”
Eden’s face twisted with disrespect. "You just got back. Now, you feel like you can tell me what to do?"
Anger flared inside me, and I charged towards him. His eyes grew as Bless stepped into my path, blocking me. My head snapped back as I watched her with disbelief. Pissed, I walked away.
Bless followed me.
“Did you really just get in between me being a father to my son?” I asked through gritted teeth as I charged down the hall.
She followed on my heels. Her voice was low as she rushed, "Can you blame Eden? He suffered too when you were gone for so long."
I stopped and turned to face her. "I was gone because you made me feel like I wasn’t wanted, like you didn’t need me. I was gone because you refused to let me see them for an entire year, remember?"
Her eyes narrowed, and she stepped closer. "You think I wanted to push you away? You think I didn’t want you here? I did what I had to do for the kids and for you!"
"Well, you didn’t do shit for me but put a wedge between me and my son.”
I knew deep down that this angst wasn’t really about Eden. It was the tension between us, unresolved and festering since that night.
“Fuck you, Legacy. She sneered.
“You did, remember?” I taunted her before I turned and walked away.
I took long strides towards the front door. As I snatched it open, I longed for her to stop me, to say something that would start the conversation that we needed to have. But when I heard nothing, I crossed the threshold and slammed the door behind me.
Frustrated and needing a break from everything, I hit up Chantel for drinks. The bar was dimly lit. Loud, inebriated conversations forced me and Chantel to lean into each other so we could hear what the other was saying. She watched me with eyes filled with concern. Since I'd rushed out of her house a few nights ago, she'd been reaching out, worried about me, my father, and my sobriety. Tonight, having her there truly felt like a lifeline.
"Are you okay?" she gently asked as she sipped her mocktail.
I nodded, taking a swig of my own drink. "Yeah, I'm managing. My dad's getting out of the hospital tomorrow."
She smiled as relief flooded her face. "That's great. I was really worried about him… and you."
I appreciated her concern. Sitting there, I realized how comfortable I felt, how I always felt whenever I was with her. But I knew it was because she was the first confidant I had found since I moved back. As we talked, I wanted to tell her about what had gone down between me and Bless. I wanted a woman’s point of view. But instead, I knew I had to address something else.
"Chantel, we need to talk," I began, setting my drink down and looking her in the eyes. "I don't think we should have sex anymore."
She looked at me, confusion crossing her features. "I assumed so after you told me that you were still in love with your ex.” She was so direct that my eyes bulged a bit, but luckily, she chuckled, clearing the air. “I completely understood what you were saying that night.”
“I just wanted to be upfront and honest. We really didn’t get a chance to finish our conversation.”
“We don’t have to finish it for me to get it. I’ve been reaching out because I was concerned about you. I never thought we were dating or falling in love. I fucked you in the bathroom the first day I met you at our NA meeting. That’s not the beginning of my fairy tale.”
I laughed, telling her, "It could be, believe me. You’re a beautiful woman and you’re cool as hell. It’s me. My heart... it's elsewhere. And I don't want to hurt you by pretending I can give you something I can't."
She smiled. "I appreciate your honesty. I really do."
"But you've been a great friend, and I don't want to lose that."
Chantel squeezed my hand with a faint but genuine smile on her lips. "I understand. I really appreciate you being honest rather than pretending. Your ex is a lucky woman. I hope you can get her back." She grinned and took my hand in hers.
As she shook up with me, I told her, "Thank you for understanding. That’s why you’re my girl.”