Bless
BLESS
As I drove to work the next morning, my phone was pressed to my ear as I listened to Sky's sobs. She had been up and down since breaking up with JayShawn. One minute, she was angry and the next, she was crying hysterically and heartbroken. Then she was in pure disbelief. She was in one vicious cycle of the five stages of grief.
"I miss him so much, .” Her voice cracked with every word, filled with pain and confusion. "But I know I can't take him back. I can't trust him. He's a liar and a manipulator. If he was dating Monique behind my back, there's no telling who else he could have been with."
My heart ached for her. "I know. You deserve so much better than him. You deserve someone who will treat you right and be honest with you."
"But it's so hard." She sniffled. "I had so much hope for us. And now, my embryos will go to waste. I can't go through with the implantation now that we've broken up. I can't imagine having a baby with someone like him."
"I understand.”
“But all of the money and embryos will go to waste.”
“If it’s not worth the pain and uncertainty, then it’s still money well spent because in the process you learned his truth."
As I comforted her, my mind wandered to my own secrets. I wondered if Legacy ever found out about Riley, would he feel the same way about me as Sky felt about JayShawn. I wondered if he would see me as a liar and a manipulator as well. The thought sent a chill down my spine.
"I just don't know what to do,” Sky sobbed. “I feel so lost."
Sky's heartbreak was a painful reminder of the fragility of trust and love. I just hoped that if and when the time came, Legacy would be able to understand and forgive me.
As Sky continued to vent to me, her words barely registered. My mind was too consumed with my own thoughts and turmoil. Since that night with Legacy, I'd been torn. Being intimate with him again had reignited an obsession that was already barely tolerable. He was constantly on my mind. Every memory of that passionate, loving night sent shivers down my spine and made my knees weak, leaving me breathless with longing.
I wanted him—physically, intimately, and emotionally. I wanted us to be a family again. I wanted to wake up to him. I wanted to feed him. But my secret loomed over me like a menacing storm, casting a shadow over every moment I spent with Legacy. I couldn't bear the thought of getting back together without revealing the truth. I had never intended to cheat on Legacy, and I had Riley to save him, to keep him grounded. But I was terrified that he wouldn't understand that.
The fear of his judgment, of losing him again, was keeping me silent. Yet, the desire to be with him, to hold him close, was overwhelming. I didn’t see how I could move forward with him when this secret threatened to destroy everything we had and everything we could grow to be. I was trapped, stuck between the longing for his love and the fear of his rejection. And it was tearing me apart.