21. Incubus
INCUBUS
Life has kind of gotten into a regular pattern, not that I’d call it normal ’cause what the fuck is normal anyway?
I will say our little family of Stella, Isabella, and I are starting to come together.
Nothing like the past but a new threesome.
Stella sold her townhome and with help from the entire club, we moved all of my girls’ stuff into my home.
It’s taken several months for them to unpack and for all of us to figure out how to blend two households into one.
It did help that Maeve needed shit for her place, and also Sparkle and Millie needed stuff that Sparkle didn’t have.
Millie was starting fresh as they ended up getting a duplex close to Sparkle’s kids’ school, which is like fifteen minutes from the clubhouse, so still kinda close.
They didn’t want to wait until the club could build them a home, as we did buy the adjacent land and now the brothers, single or not, are working with Mammoth, who is in charge of all that shit.
The man is a genius, who probably uses only a tenth of his brain bandwidth.
Even when we all served, he could look at shit and figure it out instantly.
His old man, we found out, owned a huge construction business and Mammoth and his brothers worked there from when they were little kids.
For him, he worked there until he went into the service.
His brothers still work there as their father retired.
That’s the other thing that’s come out of all this evil shit Stella and Millie went through, it brought our club and brothers even closer.
No, I’m not gettin’ soft, I keep telling myself, though I’m worried at times.
Cobalt was right. One night we were sitting on his front porch drinking a beer and he said how much he loved Julie, which I already knew, but what he said next almost freaked me out.
He went on to say that having her in his life weakens him because if anything were to happen to her, he wouldn’t survive.
Then he said he’s noticed that in some respects he was looking at shit differently for the first time since he got into the Kings of Anarchy.
He stopped to punch me in the arm and, fuck, it hurt. Damn him for reading my mind.
“No, you asshole, I’m not leaving. Jesus Christ, Cullen, you can be such a bastard at times.”
I laughed and rubbed my arm as he went to give me the ins and outs of having a woman in your life.
Now that Stella and I have been playing house, well, not playing, this is it.
I do see what he was going on about. Stella is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last person I see before I close my eyes and go to sleep.
Things are better between us in many ways, but she’s struggling with intimacy, and I so get it.
I’ve even done a few Zoom calls with her and that therapist out in Montana at some sanctuary place.
She explained to both of us the only way that this will work is if we are both honest about our feelings.
Yeah, badass enforcer of one of the most feared motorcycle clubs in the country is going to get in touch with feelings.
It took me awhile but then I talked to this therapist alone and, fuck, did she read me the riot act.
She went on about me having to work on me before I can help work on Stella.
Guess my lovely wife mentioned my ex-wife, and now every other week I call the doc up and spend an hour talking through Felicity, my father, and generally my life decisions.
I spoke to my brothers in chapel, letting them know I was talking to the therapist, but nothing about our club or my job in the club will ever be discussed.
When I brought that up with her she actually laughed, saying this wasn’t her first biker rodeo.
Smart-ass. I will say it has helped me to deal with a lot of shit from my past, not realizing how much it had impacted me, especially the betrayal of Felicity and my old man.
Not living in the past, fuck no, but I did bring a lot of anger and buried my emotions from what happened.
I got to return the punch to Cobalt when a day or so ago, he was sitting on my porch with a beer.
After I shared with him how the therapy was letting me get in touch with my emotions, he asked if I’d still be able to do my job as an enforcer.
Gotta say, my punch was way more than his as he flew into the arm of the rocker, broke it, and landed on his ass.
Yeah, I laughed my own ass off until my gut hurt.
What’s the saying… all’s fair in love and war.
The only negative I’ve been truly worried about is two of my brothers.
First, Ghost is way the fuck off and I don’t know why.
I mean, he’s never been a real “fun” brother, but when he was there he gave one-hundred-percent of his attention.
He always had a brother’s back and never just disappeared, which is what he’s been doing, and a lot.
Finally, after Psycho brought it up to Cobalt, our prez pulled in me, Mammoth, and Psycho to see who the best person would be to talk with Ghost. Guess we picked wrong, ’cause Psycho walked in with a split lip and black eye.
Now we are on the fence and Ghost is fuckin’ pissed off and letting everyone know.
For now Cobalt told everyone to give our brother a wide berth and not to get in his face.
I think it’s the wrong thing to do, but that’s why my best friend is prez and I’m not.
The other brother who really has me concerned is Nickel.
Talk about acting fuckin’ strange, that’s him.
I mean daydreaming and, worse, late all the goddamn time.
What pissed me the fuck off was when I called ’cause I needed help in my wet room.
Not only did he not answer, he shut his motherfucking club burner phone off.
Something is going on and I plan on finding out.
Today I called his ass and told him get up to my house now, or else.
I told Stella to take Isabella out somewhere for an hour or two, then come back ’cause Uncle Nickel will be staying for dinner.
I just hope that’s what happens after our “talk,” which means me talking and Nickel listening.
Being with Stella for so long and just because of my love of Italian food, I’m making a lasagna tonight. I’m just finishing cutting up onions and mashing garlic when there’s a knock at the door so I scream, “Come on in, brother.”
The door opens and, to my surprise, it’s my sister Maeve, who I just saw at the clubhouse a few hours ago.
Not sure how but Sparkle convinced the brothers that she actually needed help with keeping the place clean and meals prepared.
So, now my kid sister is working in my biker clubhouse part time ’til she can find a full-time job.
I’ve told her not to worry about money. Actually, I put down the deposit on her house, so in return she put my name on the deed with hers.
She told me it was until she paid me back, which neither Stella nor I are worried about.
Cobalt told me Girlie is trying to figure out a job that Maeve can do from home for the club, which would keep her out of it, except for when family shit is going on, which I’d be thrilled with.
There are way too many fuckin’ dogs in there and she’s not only recently widowed, which I know she’s sad about, but my kid sister is gorgeous.
Don’t need any of the brothers getting any ideas, so I need her out of there as soon as fuckin’ possible.
Looking at her, something is wrong. She looks goddamn nervous.
Jesus Christ, please tell me the Mob isn’t trying to pressure her for the money her weak-ass husband borrowed from them.
“Maeve, is the Mob pressuring you for the money? Sis, I got it in our safe in the office I’ll get it and we can get them off your back.”
“No, Cullen, haven’t heard from them since either you or Cobalt had words with them. There’s something I need to talk to you about but don’t want you to get angry. Can you promise you won’t get angry?”
The hair on the back of my neck stands up and I feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden.
What the fuck could worry her so much that she’d want me to promise not to get angry?
I’ve told everyone to keep what I do for our club from her as much as possible.
I mean, my niece and nephews are young and already lost their father violently, don’t want my sister to get in the mix of our club shit.
Thank God she’s getting her life back together.
“Maeve, no, I’m not gonna get mad. I mean, what could be so bad that you’re worried about shit like that? Come on, you want something to drink, coffee or maybe a glass of wine to relax you, sis?”
“Um, no, Cullen, not drinking either right now.”
My body gets tense as she puts her head down and that’s when I see her hands shaking, covering her belly.
Wait, has she put on weight? I’ve never noticed her with a tiny belly.
I mean, yeah, like Stella she’s curvy and I could give a fuck if she was gaining weight, but it’s concentrated by her belly.
Wait a goddamn minute, how long has she been in Indiana?
My mind is going back and when I start counting, can’t help the growl that comes out of my mouth.
Her head jerks up and tears are running down her face, and immediately I feel horrible.
Taking a few deep breaths, I manage to get my temper under control and take a seat next to her, grabbing one of her hands.
“Maeve, how far along are you, little sister?”
Her head once again jerks and swallows before she wipes her cheeks.
“Just went to the doctor today. I’m eleven weeks pregnant. Damn, Cullen, I’m so sorry. This was not planned at all.”