Chapter 47 Molly - The Man I Loved
MOLLY - THE MAN I LOVED
Months had passed since Declan had started courting me and he still wouldn't give it up. And let me tell you, I tried.
Not every day was great; some were harder than others. But with the mindset of open and honest communication, not keeping anything from each other and going into this with open minds and hearts, we got through the tough days.
Declan had been quiet for a few days after we talked about what happened to me in the time that I was taken, what it was like living with my parents. He didn’t push me away though. If anything, he held me closer. Needing to know that I was safe at his side.
He opened up more about what it was like for him before Angel's father saved him. What his family life was like and how he had lived his life after joining the Dawnbreakers, feeling like he owed them everything. He surprised me when I asked him if he felt that maybe Angel had taken advantage of that blind trust. If Angel knew about the promise he had made to his dad and used that to his advantage. The old him… Clutch would have blown up, told me I could never understand and taken off on his bike until he cooled down. Declan, though… he thought about the question. Told me he wasn’t sure about that, that he would hope it wasn’t true, but that he could see why I would ask that, why I would see it that way.
We started cooking together, learning what each other liked, but I never slept over and he was always the perfect gentleman.
I was feeling particularly vulnerable one night and had asked him if he didn’t want me like that after learning everything that had happened to me growing up.
He looked angry at first and then hurt. Declan pulled me close, his voice rough and low, “I feel like we did everything backwards the last time… and I want to make sure that this time we have the foundation right. I want you to be sure.” I nodded and went to pull away when he grabbed my chin and tilted it up to him, “But make no mistake, Molly, when you tell me you are ready. When you tell me you know you want me, you want a life with me in every way that matters… then we can get back to the physical side of our relationship.”
I had left that night even more turned on.
It was fall when Marvin had come home early after a session had been cancelled, and he dropped a little bit of information on me.
He grabbed a beer from the fridge and, with his back to me, said, “The bank called me today. You don’t know anything about the mortgage on the house and gym being paid off… do ya?”
I froze, my breathing fast, and I didn’t think, I didn’t even respond, I grabbed the keys to his truck and moved.
It felt like I had been holding my breath the whole way, but all of a sudden I was in his driveway. Declan came to the front door with a concerned look on his face as I hopped out of the truck and made my way to him.
He opened the door and I moved, rushing him. I jumped and he wrapped his arms around me, my legs wrapping around him.
“What… are you ok?” He asked, with so much love in his eyes. Even though I knew he was holding the words back so I wouldn’t feel pressured.
“Yes.” I said and then smiled at the confusion written all over his face.
So I kissed him, then said, “Yes I am ok.” Another kiss, this time on a scar on his jaw, “Yes I am sure.”, Then the scar on his eyebrow, “Yes I am ready.” and then I poured as much love as I could into a kiss, then pulled back breathing heavily and said, “I love you.”
I thought he was going to drop me for a second, his entire body reacted to my words. Then he was crying and kissing me back and we were moving. I didn’t know where we were going and I didn’t care, I was in his arms and I knew that it was exactly where I belonged.
We got to his bedroom and he laid me down on the bed so gently I almost growled. He was looking so happy and yet conflicted. And then frustrated?
He ran his hands through his hair, “I… fuck. I don’t have condoms, I didn't even think about it.”
I got up on my knees, moving towards him, I placed my hand on his chest and kissed him again. Then I grabbed his face in both my hands so his entire focus was on me.
“Declan, I love you and I am sure. Please believe me… and I am clean… I haven’t… There has been no one since you.”
He covered my hands with his, his eyes searching mine. “I could never… there has never been anyone else since I met you.”
We were both crying when he brushed his lips against mine. His hands moved from mine, one going to the back of my neck and the other moving to my lower back, pulling me up and into him as he somehow managed to move us forward together.
In his bed, his large frame over me, it finally felt like coming home. Like I had finally let the last of my walls fall, like we had built something strong to move forward with and I could not picture being here with anyone else.
His hands shook as he moved them over me, like he was rediscovering my body all over again.
We took our time stripping each other until we were both bare.
It felt like if he didn’t make love to me I was going to explode, but then he ever so slowly moved down my body and I wasn’t sure what his plan was until he kissed my lowest scar, then moved to the next and the next.
Paying attention, showing his love to every mark, every imperfection.
I had finally opened up and told him how I received each and every one of them and in this moment he was showing me he loved me, scars and all.
Finally he came back up to me, peppering my face with kisses, until I grabbed his face and looked him in the eye, saying, “Declan, I love you. But if you don’t fuck me right now…”
He laughed and groaned at the same time and it was the sexiest thing, “I just don’t want to rush this or ruin what we have…”
I shoved at his shoulder and he pulled back just enough for me to use the momentum and get him on his back.
Straddling him I let my hands wander over his muscles, tattoos and scars.
He tried to sit up but I pressed both hands into his shoulders, before leaning down and kissing the scar I knew he got from the fight with Razor.
Then I trailed kisses up his neck and across his jaw until I pulled his bottom lip into my mouth and gave it a playful nip.
Declan groaned into my mouth and I took advantage kissing him.
I settled my core over his rock hard cock and I rolled my hips.
We both moaned, breaking the kiss, I pulled back so I could see his expression.
“Declan do you want me?” I asked.
“Yes… of course…”
I interrupted him, “Do you love me?”
He growled, answering, “Yes Molly I love you, more than you will ever know.”
I rolled my hips again, leaning in closer. Brushing my lips across his.
“Declan Rowe, do I have your consent to make love to you?”
He barked out a laugh and then scrubbed his hand over his face, then he looked at me with a boyish grin, “Yes baby, you have my consent.”
That was it, I titled my hips and slowly slid down on his throbbing cock.
He was so hard, filling me up… he felt like he was everywhere.
The grunt that came out of him was pure male, he held himself still while I adjusted to him.
It had been almost a year since we had last been together and all of a sudden it was like the weight of the moment hit me all at once.
A sob tore out of me, it wasn’t sad necessarily more a combination of relief, joy, love, pain for how long it took us to recover… all of it just came pouring out of me.
Declan tried to roll me off, but I shook my head. Regaining some of my composure, “No… I want to do this. We need to do this… Everything you have done, the relationship we have built has been so beautiful… but this. This just feels…”
Declan pulled me closer, kissing me softly through my tears, whispering sweet reassuring words to me… doing everything right. Which just led me to more tears.
“We can stop, we don’t have to…”
“Don’t you dare… you just need to stop being so sweet and fuck me.” I was half crying and half laughing and anyone else would have thought I had gone mad. But not Declan. He pumped his hips driving himself deeper in me, a moan burst through my lips.
He repeated the motion and my tears stopped.
Grabbing my ass cheeks, he pulled me forward so he was as deep as he could get in this position and started to rock his hips from underneath me until the moment of hysteria was gone and it was replaced with him.
I leaned forward rocking with him, moving together and kissing him deeply.
Thanking him for knowing that was what I needed, for trusting me when I said this was what I wanted, for understanding how overwhelmed I was with my feelings, but still wanted him, this, us.
My entire body felt lit up, like I was finally coming back to myself. Declan rolled us, keeping his body close to mine, our sweat slicked skin moving together, our breaths mingling between kisses and shared moans. I came screaming his name and fell asleep in the arms of the man I loved.
I woke up to Declan kissing my brow, my eyes and my nose. To him softly asking me to wake up, telling me how happy I made him and how much he loved me.
When my eyes finally opened he gifted me a smile and placed my favourite latte on the bedside table, that is when I noticed he was fully dressed.
“Where are you going?” I murmured.
“Remi called,” He said and I sat up bumping into him, panic kicking in.
Declan pulled me into his arms, “Everything is ok. Don’t panic. She asked me if I would stop by, Ava and Chief Gray are getting engaged and she asked if I would show up to help celebrate.”
I let out the breath I had been holding and when he felt my body relax he let go of me, letting me lay back down. He studied my face for a minute before saying, “I am absolutely the luckiest man. Thank you for trusting me again, for doing the work with me. I love you.”
My heart felt so full, “Thank you for not giving up on me. I love you, Declan.”
“I’ll be gone most of the day, I want you to think about something when I am gone.”
I sat up, leaning against the headboard reaching for the latte, I nodded unsure of what he was asking.
“Can you think about where you see us, how you envision our lives. This place is just a rental, but if you wanted to stay here we could find a place… we could do whatever you wanted. I just know I want my life to be with you, I want everything with you.”
“I can’t go back,” I whispered, feeling that vulnerability creep back in.
Declan gave me a soft smile saying, “I know baby and I wouldn’t ask you to. Just think about what you do want.”
“OK, I can do that.”
“Will you be here when I get back?” He asked.
“I don’t know. I should probably head home soon, Marv will be freaking out… I kind of just took off yesterday.” That reminded me… “Did you pay off his mortgages?”
Declan gave me a kiss standing up from the bed, “It was the only way I could think of to repay him for keeping you safe.”
I smiled at him nodding, feeling like that was such a Declan thing to do and then he was gone, promising he would be back as soon as he could.
I thought I would be able to fall back asleep, but I lay awake thinking about what he had asked me. Thinking about what kind of life I wanted with him and then it came to me and I knew exactly what I wanted and what I needed to do next.