Chapter 9
Killian
I place my mug down on the island and take off my jacket as Celani sits down. She watches me over the rim of her mug as I take the seat next to her, and pick up the tea she made me.
I notice that the mug has a Verona Memorial Hospital logo on it between the leaves, and I think back to the dinner conversation she had last night with the Riley’s and Pierce.
“What’s wrong? Is there something on my face?” she asks, brushing her fingertips over her cheeks.
I realize that I’ve been staring at her again, and her fingers fall away from her face as she draws the same conclusion.
She blows her tea and I decide to ask what’s been on my mind since the first day I met her.
“Why do you deal with him?”
She arches an eyebrow at me, and I do the same, making her giggle.
I fold my hands together and rest them on the counter.
“You seem to want to get real today. So tell me.” I say.
Her smile twists into a look of uncertainty, and she lets out a deep breath before responding.
“He wasn’t always like how he is now,” she says carefully. “And, no, I’m not making excuses for him. Really.”
She shifts in her seat and her expression turns thoughtful as if she is recalling a memory, or sorting through them.
“He moved to Verona when we were in high school, and we dated then, but separated when we both went off to different colleges. He moved back to Verona five years ago and he was just as ambitious and charming as I remembered him being,” she says, shaking her head.
“We got back together and we were happy for a while, and even trying for a baby, but I told you how that part turned out.”
She looks at me and I give her a slight nod, waiting for her to continue.
“That put a lot of stress on our relationship because we were both obviously disappointed. Then he started working more hours, so I did too. Things weren’t great between us, and then he got this job offer for the position he really wanted here in Redland.
He proposed to me and begged me to come with him.
I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be married, but I agreed to give our relationship more time to work out, and I wanted a change. But since we moved here..”
She frowns and rolls her eyes to the ceiling, “He’s always had a bit of a sharp tongue, but it’s worse than ever now. And he works even more than he did before. I just feel like I don’t even know why he wants me here.”
My irritation for Pierce expands listening to their history together. This all sounds like the classic case of a man wanting a woman by his side for the luxury of her presence, but not giving her the time and attention she deserves once they’ve been together for a while.
“I’m sorry, Celani. Do you regret leaving your life in Verona behind? You used to be a nurse. Do you miss working in the hospital?” I ask, wanting to finally hear her talk about her old career herself without Pierce’s interruption.
She shrugs her shoulders. “Honestly? I never really liked to tell anyone but I was burnt out at my job. I loved helping people, even the difficult people who were racists, or unkind to me I treated them as well as anyone else. But after a while the bad apples, and the hospital bureaucracy wore me down,” she says, giving me a sad smile.
“My dad was an ER doctor, so I guess I just always thought the medical field would be where I would spend my life working too,” she continues, picking back up her mug.
“But I was happy to leave it behind and try to start over. I was hoping moving here would help me figure out what my next steps could be.”
She sips her tea and tilts her head at me. “What about you?”
I sit up straighter. “Me?”
She smiles. “Come on. Yes you,” she giggles, and the melodic sound makes my heartbeat slowly accelerate. “Where are you from?”
I rub my hand over my jaw. “I’ve lived all over. I’m not really from one place,” I respond.
She wrinkles her nose looking unsatisfied with my answer. “Do you have family? Or..someone special?” She asks, her brown eyes momentarily flashing with annoyance before she forces a smile.
I wonder if I imagined the hint of jealousy on her face, but imagined or not, my cock swells at the mere thought of it being true. I shift uncomfortably and clear my throat.
“I was raised by my grandfather, Fritz,” I respond hoarsely. “He is the only family I really remember.”
I feel uncertain how the words I don’t usually share with anyone come spilling out of me as I continue on.
“I have vague memories of my father. He left me with my grandfather when I was four or five years old and never came back. According to my grandfather I never knew my mother. He raised me as his own, but he died a few years ago.”
She frowns and reaches over to put her hand on top of my thigh. My skin heats as if her skin is touching my bare leg. I look down at her small hand trying to remember how to breathe.
“I’m so sorry, Killian,” she says gently. “It’s hard not having a family. I never knew my mother either. She left when I was a baby and my father didn’t have any siblings, or much extended family, so it was always just my dad and I until-well. Now it’s just me. So I understand.”
My chest tightens hearing the sadness in her voice for both of our losses. I put my hand on top of hers that sits on my thigh trying to comfort her. The thought of her being unhappy is unbearable for me. I have no idea how Pierce can live with himself when he makes her upset.
Even though my situation saddens her, the truth of my history is bleaker than I want to explain to her. The truth is, I was used to being alone long before my grandfather Fritz died.
He was more of an authoritarian than a loving grandfather. Most of my memories of him are of him shaping me into the disciplined, no-nonsense man that I am today. He treated me no differently than all of the soldiers that he trained in the military.
But despite the loveless family I came from, seeing Celani’s face when she speaks about being alone now feels a thousand times worse than what I endured.
I move closer to her, not letting go of her hand, and she makes no move to release mine either.
“I’m sorry too, Celani,” I say, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand.
She gives me a sad smile. “Thank you, Killian,” she says quietly. Her eyes fall down to her hand wrapped in mine, and she slowly pulls it from my hold and places it back on her cup.
“How long have you been doing private security?” she asks.
“Six years.”
She studies my face. “How old are you?”
I twist my jaw. I was hoping to avoid this question.
I wasn’t so keen to let her know that I’m younger than her. I don’t think it makes any damn difference, but some people get hung up on numbers.
“Thirty-four,” I say, keeping my eyes trained on hers.
She nods slowly. “Wow. And have you always worked with the same team?”
“Always.”
She gives me a curious look. “I’ve never even seen most of your team around besides Asher and Malakai. I mean I know there’s a surveillance team in the pool house, and someone who goes out before us to check that the location is safe, but they’re like ghosts.”
“That’s what they’re trained to be,” I respond, glancing down at her hand that I wish was back in mine.
Her leg brushes against mine and I trace my eyes back up to hers.
“How did you all get together?" she asks.
I think of responding but I’m not ready to share that story with her yet. She takes the hint and doesn’t push, probably aware I’ve already shared more with her than almost anyone else knows.
She bites into her bottom lip and I already know that she’s contemplating asking another question. After a moment she finally does.
“What did you do before you were a bodyguard?"
I shift my eyes from hers.
This is another question I’m not sure I’m ready to share with her.
I don’t know if she will have the same kindness in her eyes when she looks at me anymore once she knows.
I look back at her and see her staring at me with her big brown eyes, and the look of sincerity on her face eases some of my tension.
“Killian it’s ok. I promise that I won’t share it with anyone else, and I won’t judge you,” she says quietly, crossing a finger over her heart.
She smiles and the corner of my mouth twitches wanting to mimic hers. The last bricks of the mile high walls I put up when someone asks about my past crumble away and I look her in the eyes as I finally respond.
“I was a Sniper.”