Chapter 17 #3
My stomach pitched at the casual way he said that.
Not that I believed that Carn would hurt a woman.
Lord knew he’d proven himself as too much of a gentleman for me to jump to conclusions there.
But some poor woman had to wait for her male to survive fight after fight, the threat of being raped by his killer looming over her head.
“I’m glad you didn’t kill him,” I said, my throat suddenly dry at the reminder of just how brutal this world was.
A warm arm curled around my shoulders and pulled me closer. He nuzzled my hair with a contented sigh.
“I gave him a chance to save his female, he promised to give me a chance to save mine.”
Somehow my head ended up on his chest and I couldn’t think of a good reason to pull away. Sure, I was naked, sitting on the hard floor and so tired my eyes burned, but Carn was such a soothing presence beside me I felt like I could lean on him forever.
“Am I your female?” I meant it to be a gentle tease but from the way he stiffened, I knew he took it as a challenge.
“I want you,” he answered, his arm rigid around my shoulders. “But not enough to force you.”
“Oh, Carn.” I picked my head up and met his worried stare. “I know you wouldn’t. I didn’t mean it like that.”
Unsure how better to convince him, I reached up and stroked his bottom lip.
He really wasn’t a handsome male. Bones too heavy, muscles overgrown to the point of looking almost ridiculous.
Having caught glimpses of other turochs, I knew he looked even more alien and dangerous than the males of his species were supposed to.
His body had been changed by cruel scientists. But he had a raw sort of attractiveness all the same and before I could stop myself, I was stretching up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth.
The world spun and suddenly I was laying flat on my back, sinking into the padded couch, Carn devouring my mouth as he crawled on top of me. Something halfway between a gasp and a moan escaped me and I dragged my fingers through his hair, diving into the kiss with everything I had.
He jerked back, breathing like he’d run a marathon as he stared down at me.
“If I gentle you, you’ll be my mate,” his tone was a warning but my spinning head couldn’t grasp his meaning.
“Huh?” I managed to get out.
“Mating.” His body dropped back over mine and I almost purred as he palmed one of my breasts. “Breeding.” His thigh pressed between mine, trapping me with the most delicious pressure.
“That is how we complete our mating. Our promise to our females.”
Sex is marriage my foggy brain managed to translate.
“Okay,” I slurred against his mouth. It was way too big of a decision to make without thinking about it, but for some reason I couldn’t come up with a single reason to say no.
Hot skin covered me and I arched into him as his solid weight pushed me into the cushions.
He was so damn big, but instead of scaring me, the vastness of his shoulders was comforting.
Like Carn was a shield between me and every scary thing in the universe.
A universe that had gotten much bigger since I’d met him.
He ducked down, pressing his brow to my throat and let out a shaky breath.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he said hoarsely, his big hands clenched around my ribs and holding me captive.
I shimmied beneath him, shivering as his heavy length pressed against my bare mound.
I’d been in this position before but it felt so much more raw with both of us naked.
If I pretended I hadn’t seen exactly how big he was, I could just enjoy the excitement of the intimate contact.
I thought I’d be more nervous, but as soon as I’d decided I was ready for this all my fear melted away.
“You’re doing it right so far.” I should calm down and focus, take his concern seriously and not rush us both into something we’d never done.
Just because my nerves had taken a hike, didn’t mean Carn was feeling as confident.
Even as I acknowledged the need to slow down, a pulsing need overtook me and I squirmed against him.
My body wanted things, craved the forward momentum and didn’t give a rat’s ass if we did things ‘right’.
“But the gentling,” he groaned, grinding his hips against mine until I let out a squeak.
It sounded like he wanted to stop, I couldn’t let that happen.
I didn’t know what ‘the gentling’ was, but it couldn’t be more important than what was happening right now.
Sensations I’d never experienced were coursing through me.
My skin was hot, my heart pounding and I didn’t want to risk slowing down and losing whatever current was pulling me towards something amazing. My hips rolled instinctually, the smooth length of his cock dragged over my slit and I shivered at the burst of pleasure.
“This is good,” I gasped. My hands dug into his back as I strained to smash every inch of our bodies together.
How had I never appreciated how smooth and hot his skin was, the heavy glide of muscle covering his torso?
I felt a flicker of disappointment there wasn’t a mirror on the ceiling so I could see everything I was touching right now.
“It’s important.”
How was he still talking? My brain was offline and a primitive, female force had taken over my body.
I wiggled a hand between us and captured the slick tip of his cock. Carn choked, his abs spasming as I tightened my grip. His whole body surged forward, nearly crushing me into the arm of the couch.
“This is working fine how we’re doing it,” I argued back breathlessly.
I couldn’t seem to stop kissing the side of his face and he answered with a sensual lick that reached from my collarbone to my jaw.
The hot rasp of his tongue sent a shockwave of lust through my already buzzing body and I squeezed his cock, hoping to transfer some of the need I was feeling to him.
“I don’t know how to please a female,” he grumbled into my throat, sucking at the sensitive skin below my ear like a pro. My heart squeezed at the frustration in his words, even as I thrilled at the way his hips were working against mine like he couldn’t control his body anymore.
“I’ll tell you what feels good, we don’t have to get it perfect the first time,” I reassured him, catching his cheek as he pulled back to look at me.
After all, wasn’t fumbling through losing your virginity a right of passage? I was okay with anything if it kept feeling this good.
“The gentling is supposed to be perfect,” he groaned, nipping at my shoulder.
That seemed like a very sweet and very unreasonable expectation for two virgins. I loved him just a little bit for thinking ‘perfect’ was possible on a couch in the middle of a slave rebellion.
I cocked my head to the side, taking in the dark flush on his face, the way his pulse was jumping in his throat and the conflicted worry in his eyes.
“Carn.” I smiled as his hips jerked at the sound of his name. “You said sex is how your people mate for life?”
He nodded jerkily, watching me like he was expecting me to try and crawl away.
“That’s not how my people make things official but I don’t mind doing it your way. Can we do the first time thing the human way? Just do what feels good and figure it out from there?”
Carn’s ribs inflated, pressing his chest to mine and I wondered if he’d accept my suggestion. I knew he felt disconnected from his people, how aware he was of all the ways he wasn’t like all the other turochs.
I couldn’t give him back all the culture and memories he’d missed out on, but I could give him a little of mine. Hopefully that would be enough.
“If that’s what you want, Naomi,” he finally said. The warm but worried way he said my name made me want to make this perfect for him. But this was Carn, I couldn’t imagine anything we did together would be bad.
I smiled up at him and tucked a lock of hair behind one of his horns, tracing over his scalp and down one long fuzzy ear.
He was so very different than the faceless man I’d pictured my first time with, when I bothered thinking of it at all.
Sex and romance had never been a priority to me, and I was shocked by the craving Carn had triggered in me.
At some point, because I got good at being alone, I assumed I didn’t need intimacy.
Right now though I was feeling so many things I’d never experienced before, the rush of my blood, the heat rising from my skin and the strange almost painful fullness behind my ribs every time I looked at Carn’s hazy eyes.
I might love him, and I didn’t know what to do with that realization.
“It’ll be alright, I promise. I won’t suddenly regret mating you, no matter what.” The moment the words left my mouth, I knew they were true. Maybe this was fast, maybe falling for an alien was crazy, but I wouldn’t regret this moment, or any other memory I got to make with him.
As if that had been what was holding him back, he lurched forward and crushed me to his chest. I squeaked as his huge arms wrapped around me, lifting my spine from the couch and angling my hips towards him.
He let out a burst of air like he was preparing to skydive and I couldn’t help but grind against him as his breath brushed over my over sensitized nipples.
I’d never felt this sexy or alive and I wanted to bottle this feeling and take a hit of it every morning like coffee.
I was so wet, aching and throbbing, like someone had hooked me up to an electric current, every cell in my body begging for what only he could give me.
And then Carn’s ridiculously oversized cock plunged all the way in.