28. Raven
“Are you nervous?”
I give Sophia a look. “Of course I am. Don’t you get nervous when you have to do your shoots?”
She shrugs. “Yeah, but I have to do it in front of the biggest names, who sometimes happen to be the biggest assholes. You’re holding the book conference for kids.”
“Trust me when I say kids can be the biggest critics. Wish me luck?”
She cheers. “Always. You’ll kill this, sis. I know they will love you!”
Hearing it from the person who has become my support system in the past few weeks feels good, but the nerves remain as I sit in my little corner of the library to start the conference. I’m astonished to find a sizeable crowd of kids already there waiting for me, but the shock and nervousness fade away as soon as I talk to the first kid, Dean.
“Your book is so neat! I really like Newt.”
I smile. “What do you like about him?”
“I like that he’s adventurous. I like that he’s brave.” The little boy leans forward to whisper. “I like that he’s scared of the dark. I’m scared of the dark, too, so we’re alike.”
My heart warms. “It makes you feel less alone, doesn’t it?”
“It does!”
Kid after kid, Newt becomes the main star, which is just how I intended it to be. When I’m done signing the books they present to me and answering questions, including those of the parents, we all settle down and I tell them all about my plans for Newt’s next adventures. Cheers go around at the announcement of it possibly becoming a series, and I can’t help feeling proud when I see their faces lighting up.
But again, I don’t want it to be all about me, so I wait until the noise dies down before I clear my throat.
“We might meet Newt’s new friend in the next book, but I’m going to keep her a secret for now. Just like Newt’s new adventure.” I wink. “Anyway, I’m curious if you guys also have story ideas. Do you?”
A chorus of yes flies around. I grin.
“That’s awesome! Does anyone care to share their story idea?”
Several hands shoot up, so I point to the smallest blonde girl who looks a bit shy. With lots of encouragement, I rally the other kids to cheer her on until she can tell us her story idea, which goes on for quite a while. It ends with a character flying to the moon, which riles up the crowd as they now talk about flying to other places.
“An island! With beaches and pigs!”
“A planet! It’ll be a purple one with lots of strange-looking aliens!”
“Flying cows!”
“Okay, I think that’s enough flying for now.” I laugh. “Let’s talk about other story ideas. Does anyone else want to share?”
“I want to share my story idea.”
The familiar male voice sends a shiver down my spine before instinct kicks in and I go still. My smile falters while I stare at the figure hovering at the back of the crowd, his tall frame leaning against a bookshelf. I’m immediately hit with a sense of comfort but also…dismay because why does Christian look so good?
And why in heaven is he here?
He steps forward. The action brings him to light, and I can’t help but take in the way the jeans just fit him so well, along with the shirt that emphasizes those broad shoulders. Longing hits me hard, my core clenching with it before I become aware that tiny pairs of eyes are looking at him, too…then at me.
“Can I share my story idea?” His tone is soft. Unreadable. “But only if it’s okay with everyone.”
What am I supposed to say to that?
It takes everything inside me to tamp down my shock and confusion and appear as nonchalant as possible. It also takes everything to try not to make a scene. Somehow, I manage it and nod.
“Sure. What’s your story idea?”
“It’s about this guy named Charles and this girl named Rae. They’re very good friends and they do everything together. They have a lot of fun, but they also support each other’s dreams. Do you guys have a friend like that?”
Random names are thrown out by the kids, but his green eyes stay on mine. He waits until the voices die down before continuing.
“Well, one day, something happened.”
“What happened?” the shy blonde girl named Ruby asks.
“Charles got a school project and he became very busy. It was his dream to have this project and he was very excited about it. In fact, he was so excited about it that he didn’t have time to play with Rae anymore.”
There are several gasps before the kids quiet down.
“While Charles was busy with his project, Rae had a project of her own. A very special project. One that’s meant to be done together. But because Charles was so busy all the time, she thought he wouldn’t want to do it with her. So she left. Rae was excited but scared. She decided that despite being scared, she was going to do it anyway. All on her own.“
“And she still didn’t tell him?” Dean asks, already invested in the story.
Christian shakes his head. “She didn’t tell him. And while he was doing his project and she was gone, she didn’t know he was miserable because he missed his friend so badly. But he also thought she didn’t want to be his friend anymore, so he didn’t do anything about it until...”
Whispers break out among the kids.
“Until?” Ruby’s voice calls out over the rest.
“Well,” he continues, “he found out about Rae’s project.”
My heart drops into my stomach.
Christian is looking into my eyes now, and even though I want to tear my own away, I can’t. Mesmerized by the green, I barely feel the tears welling up until my vision blurs. I blink them away rapidly, but I still can’t look away.
“And when he did, he realized how lucky he was to have a friend like Rae. Someone who wanted to share something so special with him. And he made a horrible mistake letting her go without telling her how much he appreciated their friendship. He always thought that his project was his dream, but he was wrong. His dream was the one Rae wanted to do together. Turns out, it wasn’t a project at all but a gift. So…”
Dean is beside himself. “So…?”
Still looking at me, his lips lift in a half smile at the impatience.
“Charles went after Rae. When he found her, he apologized for making her think he didn’t want her gift. But he does. He’s worried it might be too late, but he hopes she can forgive him for letting her go and promises he won’t give up on her. Because he misses her and loves her.”
Christian all but whispers the last two words.
They replay in my head over and over before I realize that the kids are buzzing with excitement.
Blinking back more tears, I clear my throat and try to control my fast-beating heart.
“That’s…wow.” I clear my dry throat. “That’s a wonderful story, Mr.…”
“Christian. Christian Benson.”
Dean raises a hand. I nod at him. “Yes, Dean?”
“It’s kind of a confusing story.”
“What’s confusing about it, Dean?”
Dean’s brows furrow. “Why didn’t Charles just call Rae and ask why she left? If they’re friends, he should’ve asked her what happened instead of being quiet. And why didn’t Rae tell Charles about the gift? She should’ve told him before leaving.”
“I suppose that makes sense, Dean.”
“Also, why didn’t anyone fly to the moon?”
I blink and finally focus my full attention on him. “Fly to the moon?”
Dean shrugs. “If they fly to the moon and talk there, things will be brighter and they’ll understand each other better.”
Humor sparks Christian’s eyes, but he shakes his head morosely. “That’s very smart of you. I don’t know why Charlie didn’t just call, either. Maybe he was scared that she didn’t want to be friends with him anymore.”
Ruby wrinkles her nose. “If they talked, it’d be fixed!”
Christian nods. “That’s right.”
“And there should be flying!”
As suggestions fly across the room, all I can do is stare at Christian. It’s clear now, no longer unreadable, his expression confirms his words. Love shining openly in his eyes, and hope that I would be able to forgive him softening his features.
And my heart…it soars like no other. It hopes fiercely, something that I thought died when I left Sweet Haven.
I can’t speak. I can only sit there and reel from it, still in disbelief that the man I love is here—not just here but saying all the things I’ve always hoped to hear from him.
I open my mouth, remembering that I still have the conference and all these kids, but nothing comes out.
Thankfully, that’s the moment when Sophia steps in, smiling her megawatt smile at everyone.
“Hi, kids, remember me from the library entrance?” After several nods, she claps her hands together. “I think the moral of the story is that if you have friends that you care about, you should cherish that friendship. And you should tell them that you care about them. Projects can come and go, but friendships will last a long time. Did you know that Raven and I have been sisters and friends for twenty-eight years?”
She sends me a pointed look, and I finally recover enough to take over.
“She’s right. We’ve been friends for so long and it’s something we treasure very much. That’s a nice lesson to learn. Now, any more story ideas?”
It goes around for a few more times, with Sophia coming and going from time to time to check up on me, but Christian stays to listen. He also never takes his gaze off me, which
makes me tingle with awareness the whole time. Finally, I end the conference with a few more words about the next book before I wave goodbye to the kids and their parents.
I can hear Sophia’s voice in the background, cheerfully saying goodbye or chatting with them. Then the area’s empty and it’s just me and Christian facing each other.
I stand up when he approaches me, but the table stays between us. We search each other’s gazes, and in his, I see a deep longing that mirrors mine.
“Christian…” I clear my throat.
“I love you, Raven. I’m in love with you, in case I wasn’t clear.”
He walks around the table and I turn to face him, the gap between us only inches. But still, he doesn’t reach out to touch me.
Taking a deep breath, he says, “I was going to ask you out on a proper date after Nashville. But that would’ve been a mistake too.”
Baffled, I don’t say anything. Maybe I misinterpreted…?
“What I should’ve done was tell you how I felt. Instead, I made you believe that the project was more important to me when in fact…”
“Yes?”
“I’m not going to pretend it isn’t important to me, that it isn’t something I’ve worked toward my whole life.” Green eyes flare and he finally reaches out to take my hand in his. “But I can live without it. I can’t live without you. You’re the most important thing in my life. Have been for a while. I just didn’t realize it until you were gone. I was too busy stuck in the past and letting my fear of loving again blind me. But I’m not blind anymore, Raven.
“And I am still afraid, but afraid of losing you.”
Every word hits me in the feels, but he’s not done.
“When I found out about the baby…my God. I was even more scared.” A deeper emotion fills his eyes and he squeezes my hand tight, as if assuring himself that I’m really here. “I was scared that I lost my chance. I regret that I wasn’t there for you from the start. Did I lose my chance for good, Raven?”
I’m quiet, absorbing his words. Then I take a deep breath, too, feeling like I haven’t taken one in a long time.
“Do you want to know what I think, Christian?”
“What?”
Hope and fear war in his features. So, I squeeze his hand back, wanting that fear gone.
“I think that the kids were right. I think that I never should’ve left without telling you eve-rything. I never should’ve left without telling you about the baby.”
“I understand why—” he starts.
“That was my mistake.” All I can do is laugh; it’s a bit sad and tired. “How is it that a bunch of kids could figure it out but we couldn’t?”
“Age does not equal wisdom, apparently.” He gives me a sad smile in return, but then grows serious. “Raven, baby or not, I shouldn’t have let you walk out the door. I shouldn’t have let you believe for one second that the project was more important than you. I’m sorry.”
He’s standing so close that I can feel his breath ghosting over my lips.
Taking a moment to absorb his words, I come to a decision. I shake my head. He looks confused.
“What do you mean? You don’t forgive me?” He drops my hand and his eyes widen, heartbroken. “Raven, I swear, I’ll?—”
But I’m still shaking my head. “I mean no, no more apologies. Not from you or me, okay?”
Christian doesn’t know what to say, still looking a bit confused.
So I clarify. “Christian, I love you too.”
Joy transforms his face one second before I’m pressed against him, wrapped in his arms, and his lips are crushing mine. Drinking me in like a man dying of thirst.
It’s ravenous and glorious. It’s everything I could ask for and more, but there’s still that disbelief lurking that this is a dream and I’ll wake up any second now. So I kiss him harder, putting all my passion and love into it until I can feel his pulse quickening and I can hear his small, soft groan—and it’s in that moment that I know this is truly not a dream, but the rawest form of reality there is.
We break apart, out of breath but not wanting to let go of each other.
“That was…”
“Beautiful,” I confirm. When I find his eyes trailing toward my stomach, I take his free hand and place it there, much like I did to Sophia when she first saw it. He swallows. “I love you, Christian. But it’s not just us anymore…”
His hand trembles. In response, he kisses me again, then hugs me so tightly.
“I know. It’s wonderful. The greatest gift I never expected, but I love it.” He smiles at me, grateful and appreciative. “I love you.”
And that’s how I know that everything is going to be more than okay.