Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
When she’d first been taken, she’d been placed in a room with no windows. It would have been quiet, but they piped music in, playing it at levels that made her ears hurt. After a few days, they stopped blasting music. She’d been very thankful for the silence.
This hotel was in the middle of the city, so the traffic noise bled through the windows. She’d slept fine last night, passing out fast and hard, but today she was reacting to every little noise. She was tired, so she did take a few naps, but then someone turned music on and her stomach clenched.
She had to force calm by breathing in and out slowly, pushing away the bad thoughts playing through her mind. A horror show of memories flooded her thoughts, making it hard to breathe.
It had been a while since she’d watched TV, but she turned it on, flipping to something she hadn’t seen, which was easy to find since she hadn’t watched TV in well over a year.
She sat on the floor, head against the bed while she watched the show, trying to ignore the music as she paid attention to what was on the screen in front of her. But her mind kept flipping to thoughts about everything that happened.
Before being sold by her father, she would have gone exploring in a new city. She would be out at the beach or somewhere fun, discovering every unknown area. But captivity made her fear rise, taking away her boldness.
Talking a good game was easy, but people and things like music set her off.
She hated the clawing feeling inside, how it twisted her thoughts to all the terrible things that happened around her.
She couldn’t just hear music and not think about the abuse.
Certain people brought up memories of her attackers, sending sharp panic through her.
Her body would heal, and she would gain weight, but the crap in her mind would always come for her. There wasn’t a way to erase her experiences. Though she’d just returned to the States and hadn’t sought out therapy, she knew she would never be able to just get over it.
Back in that cage, she knew her days were numbered. But now she was here in the States. When Foster found her, a tiny sliver of disappointment wove through her. She didn’t want to be disappointed, but living after all the shit she’d suffered was like climbing a mountain in flip flops.
At some point the music turned off, and she flipped off the TV, opting for silence. Of course there wasn’t true silence because there were still cars and sirens and other people living in the city.
Then an odd feeling took over. Her head hurt and her stomach cramped. She almost felt like she was floating. It took her a while to realize she was hungry.
She’d been given some money and decided to call in an order for a pizza. When asked what size she told them small. The guy asked if she wanted chicken tenders or French fries, she’d opted for fries. It had been a long time since she’d eaten fries. Maybe she wouldn’t like them.
After placing the order, she did a few stretches before grabbing the key and heading to the elevator.
The air seemed thicker out here, or maybe it was just her nerves.
She was still unsteady and had to walk close enough to the wall to reach out and hold herself up, so she didn’t fall over.
The elevator dinged, and she flinched then laughed as she glanced around, making sure she was still alone.
The urge to head back to her room hit, but she needed the food. Once in the lobby, she stood off to the side, hoping no one talked to her. She wished they had a plant she could hide behind, but this wasn’t that type of hotel.
The pressure of being exposed rose. Why was she like this? When she’d first been rescued, she’d felt like herself, but now, it seemed like she was breathing through a wet towel. It almost felt like her body didn’t belong to her.
Nothing would ever be normal again. Foster had made her feel normal, at least for a time. But with other people, she felt off, like they were operating at a different speed from her.
The door opened, drawing her attention. It was the pizza delivery person. She moved to them and the woman shot her a huge smile.
“Are you Penelope?”
“Yes.”
“I have your pizza and fries.”
“Thank you.” She paid for the pizza then scurried back to the elevator. There were people in the lobby, and they headed to the elevator, too. Panic rose as they moved closer. She wished she could move faster, but she still felt weird and couldn’t move too fast or she would face plant.
She pressed the button for the third floor, hoping the doors closed before the other people got on.
The phone Foster had given her rang. She pulled it from her pocket, seeing it was Foster calling so she answered just as the other people stepped onto the elevator.
One of them pressed the button for floor two.
She breathed easier knowing they were getting off on the second floor, not the floor she was going to.
“Hello. I just stepped onto an elevator so I’m not sure if the connection will drop.” She’d turned away from the other people, so she didn’t have to interact with them.
“If it does, I’ll call you back. I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
“Okay. I slept last night. Today has been long.”
“Want a distraction?”
“Like what?”
“If you like, I could come pick you up.”
“Um, I just ordered a pizza.”
“Perfect, I can swing by. I was thinking about picking up a burger. Do you want anything?”
The elevator was on the second floor and the other people stepped off. She blew out a breath, trying not to get too excited about seeing him. “I don’t need anything.”
“Okay, I’ll text when I show up.”
“Sure. I’ll be waiting.”
Why had she said that? She wasn’t going to wait to eat. Or should she wait? The indecision was driving her to distraction. She was second guessing everything. It made her feel ridiculous.
“Just eat.” Now she was talking to herself. She stepped from the elevator and moved to her door, checking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t being followed.
Paranoia would destroy her. She had to be vigilant, but was she just being fearful or careful?
She plopped down on the floor and put the pizza on a footstool. She grabbed one slice from inside the box and pulled it out. The pizza was greasy, and the bread smelled amazing.
After the first slice, she stretched out on the floor, thinking she hadn’t tasted anything this good in ages. Her phone pinged and she picked it up then stared at the screen, seeing that Foster was on his way up.
She crawled to the door and stood as she listened intently for the elevator to ding, but it was too far away, and she wasn’t sure she’d heard the elevator or some other noise.
When she looked through the peephole, she spied Foster walking toward her door.
Relief slid through her. She pulled the door open and Foster held up a cup.
“I know you said you didn’t want anything, but I got two shakes. One chocolate, one vanilla. You can take the one you want.”
“Oh God, chocolate with French fries.”
“I have some of those.”
“I have some, too, from the pizza joint. Let’s do a taste test and see which ones are better.”
Foster’s smile made her stomach tighten. “I’m sure I know which are better, but let’s do the test and see.”
“Cool.”
Foster came in and shut the door. She reached over and threw the safety latch. It was weird, and she knew it wouldn’t help much, but she needed the added layer of safety, even here in San Diego in a building that was very secure.
It pissed her off that now every move she made would be cloaked in fear. Freedom had been a huge part of her past, but now she couldn’t imagine heading out to explore a strange city. She wanted her life back, or something like her life, but doubted anything would ever feel like it had before.