Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
After Foster left, Pen stood in the middle of the room, chewing her thumbnail.
Worry wound through her. Was it really okay to stay at Foster’s house?
She wouldn’t change anything. How long could she go without spending his money for groceries?
She needed to get a job, but where? She was afraid of her own freaking shadow, how could she ever work for someone else?
She blew out a harsh breath, trying to stop her thoughts from spiraling out of control. There was nothing bad happening in her life. Foster wanted her here and told her as much. She wasn’t making a mistake by being here.
She should do some exercise, and then she would probably feel like eating more. Her exercises consisted mostly of stretching and rebuilding strength with some light bodyweight workouts. Though the workouts were considered light, they were tough for her to get through.
Moving did feel good, though it did wear her out fast. She hated how tired she got now. Hopefully that would change as she moved more.
She’d almost finished the last of her stretches when there was a knock at her door. She moved to door and looked out the peep hole. It was Willa. Pen turned off the alarm and opened the door.
“Hey, since we’re alone for a while, how about you come over, and we can watch movies and hang out?”
She was about to answer when a car pulled into her driveway. Willa turned, and they both waited while the driver stepped from the car. It was Remi.
“Hey, girls. A few of us are getting together tonight. I know it’s last minute, and it’s absolutely casual. We’ll have some fun, talk some, and watch some movies. How does that sound?”
Willa turned to her and raised her eyebrows. “I’m game if you are.”
Her stomach clenched. She needed time with other women, friends who she could just hang out with. These women were good people, and she had nothing to worry about.
“Sure, sounds good.” With the decision made a sliver of panic worked through her, but she pushed it away.
“Awesome. My place in an hour. Just bring yourself.”
“Thank you,” Pen said.
Willa waved as Remi pulled onto the street. They were headed to Remi’s house. She was nervous, but it would be nice to see other people.
When they arrived at Remi’s place, she saw two other cars out front. Her stomach tightened as she got out of the car and she stopped walking.
Willa moved to Pen and put her hand on her shoulder. “It will be good. Everyone is nice.”
Pen nodded. “I know. It just takes me a while. I used to be bold, and I hate the whiny bitch I’ve become.”
Willa chuckled. “First off, you aren’t a whiny bitch. And second, we can stand out here for a moment if you like.”
She shook her head and laughed. “Out here is just as bad. I think it’s all bad. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel strong. I don’t want to spend my life like this. I want to be adventurous, but my stomach is tight and my head is swimming.”
Willa hugged her. “Hey, it’s only been a short while. You’re doing great.”
She laughed as she stepped back, wiping her eyes. “Thank you. It’s just hard, much harder than I thought it would be.”
The door opened and Remi was there. “Hey. I’m glad you made it.”
Pen laughed more as she wiped at the tears in her eyes. “Sorry, I’m just having a moment.”
Remi nodded. “We all have our moments.”
After blowing out a harsh breath, she headed to the door, giving Remi a quick hug before stepping in. Once inside, she saw Bree and another woman.
“Pen, this is Wren.”
“Hello, it’s nice to meet you, Wren.”
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“If we would have had more notice about the guys leaving, the other women would have shown up,” Remi said.
Pen glanced around, panic rising but not too high. “Small is nice.”
They all laughed. “It is,” Bree said. “It will give us a chance to get to know you.”
Pen glanced around, worry working its way through her. “I’m not sure there is much to know.”
“Let’s start with the most important subject,” Remi said. “Are you okay with tacos?”
Pen had been nervous when Remi started that question. After hearing the real question, laughter bubbled up. “Tacos are great.”
“Good answer,” Bree said.
They moved to the kitchen and Remi had everything set up so they could make tacos and then move to the table to eat.
She felt unsure of herself but was getting more comfortable as the evening wore on. The other women were doing most of the talking as she picked at her food. She was glad none of them made a big deal out of how little food she’d consumed.
“Would you like a brownie?” Remi asked.
“Oh, I don’t know if I can eat any more. I’m stuffed.” She’d been staring at her plate as she talked, thinking that she hadn’t really eaten that much, but the thought of more food was intimidating. Her stomach was almost painfully full. But what would these women think of how little she’d eaten?
Pen glanced up, glad none of the women were looking at her with pity. They accepted her statement that she didn’t want more food without getting angry or judgmental.
“I would love one,” Willa said.
“I think I’ll have half a brownie,” Bree said.
Wren got up and started cleaning plates. Pen moved to hop up but her hamstrings seized, making it impossible to stand upright. Wren was right there, catching her as she started to tip to the side.
“Gotcha. Are you okay?”
She grimaced then nodded. “Yeah, my muscles cramp when I move sometimes. It freaking sucks. I was in a cage where I couldn’t extend my legs or lie flat.
I was constantly sitting with my legs pulled up.
” Her head whipped up as panic fired. Had she revealed too much?
What would these women think about what she’d said?
“Oh, that had to be bad,” Wren said.
She nodded as her head started to ache. She shouldn’t have said anything. She was waiting for them to ask what happened, but they all just accepted what she said. “It wasn’t comfortable.”
“When I met Kevlar, we ended up being stuck out in the ocean for hours.”
The words shook her, and she blinked at Remi. Curiosity hit, but she didn’t want to pry. It was too much, and she had to know. “Like in a boat?”
“No, I was snorkeling, and he was diving. It was scary. But he was so calm.” She listened as Remi told her about what happened. “He is such a good person.”
“That’s amazing. I really expected to die before Foster found me.
It took me a while to realize I was free.
The last few weeks of captivity I started hallucinating so when they showed up, I was a little out of it.
” She realized what she’d said and worried that she’d revealed too much again. “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Don’t worry, we won’t talk about it outside of our group. We know what our guys do can’t really be talked about.”
She shook her head. “I’m so not used to this.”
They all laughed. “We weren’t either,” Remi said. “I mean, I’m good with keeping secrets because of my work. But this is a whole new level of secret keeping.”
Pen froze. “I’m almost afraid to ask what you do for work.”
Remi shook her head and laughed more. “It’s not like that.
I draw a cartoon and sometimes I like to surprise my readers.
I’ll have plans and don’t want to spoil it with hints, so I have to keep my plans to myself.
Not all the time, sometimes I let it slip, but there are some future cartoons I want to be a surprise to everyone. ”
“Oh, that makes sense. So, do you tell people which cartoon, or is it a secret?”
She shook her head. “It’s not secret. Pecky, the Traveling Taco.”
Pen shook her head, trying to recall if she’d ever heard of that one. “Honestly, I don’t read many cartoons. I don’t know that I’ve heard of it.”
Remi smiled. “That’s good. Sometimes it’s overwhelming when people think they know me because they’ve read the cartoon. I am fairly transparent, but there are limits to what I put in my work.”
“I started reading after I met you,” Willa said. “Who knew a cartoon could be so relatable?”
Pen wasn’t sure if she would relate to a cartoon. She hadn’t ever gotten into looking at them when she was a kid, and with everything that happened to her, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to.
Now that she knew Remi, she would have to look at Pecky, but she wasn’t sure she would be able to get into it.
Honestly, she had no clue what she was into.
How could she figure out what she liked or didn’t like?
Everything was so much more difficult since being rescued, and she feared it would never be easy again.