Chapter Thirteen
“Here you go.” Xavier handed Hannah a cup of hot chamomile tea as he took a seat next to her on the couch. He took a moment to look her over again, battling both fear and anger at her being caught up in whatever this mess was with him.
It was bad enough that it had started at the lodge, threatening their peace and safety.
But then to drag Hannah into it as well, and try to kill them both…
He still didn’t know if it was coincidence that she happened to be with him when they were run off the road, or if whoever had done this had specifically targeted them both.
She looked a little better since her shower and fresh clothes but fatigue was pulling at her hard, and he could still see the anxiety lurking behind her gaze and the dark circles under her eyes.
He was so thankful that they had made it out mostly unscathed.
But his eyes caught on the bandage on her forehead and grimaced.
“Does it hurt?” he asked, raising his hand to brush back the hair from her face.
She shook her head. “Not really.”
He frowned. She was likely just saying that to keep him from worrying about her. It looked as though it must hurt like hell.
“It’s not your fault, Xavier,” she reminded him, clearly noticing whatever look was on his face.
He knew she was right, of course, but that didn’t stop him from feeling guilty about it. He should have done more to protect her. The fact that she was injured because he hadn’t been able to keep her safe didn’t sit well with him.
Xavier couldn’t help but worry what would happen next. What else would these people try? The thought of it worried him more than he could express.
He was more determined than ever to find out what was going on. He was going to track down whoever was responsible for these things and make them pay. No one messed with Hannah or the lodge on his watch without serious consequences.
“Who do you think it was?” she asked, stealing a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. “I know you told Bailey you weren’t sure, but…”
“I have no idea,” he admitted with a sigh. “I have to think it has something to do with whoever broke into my room the other night, but that’s about as far as I’ve gotten. I’m not sure what the motive would be for that or for running us off the road.”
“Do you have any enemies?” she wondered aloud. “I mean, from your time in the military? Or the CIA?”
“None that I’m aware of,” he replied with a shrug. “But they might just have been keeping their heads down until they were able to make their move. I really don’t have a clue.”
She chewed her lip. That answer didn’t seem to be the one she wanted, judging by the troubled look on her face. He guessed she was hoping for something a little more direct, something she could actually work with, but he didn’t have anything more for her.
“You know I would tell you if I did, right?” he questioned with one brow raised.
She locked eyes with him and nodded. “I know you would,” she agreed, managing a small smile.
She was still seriously shaken, there was no doubt about that, but it meant the world to Xavier that she trusted him and knew that he trusted her as well. He would always be honest with her.
She paused for a moment, blowing on her tea thoughtfully. “Do you think they might have mistaken us for someone else?” she asked hopefully. “Thought someone else was in the vehicle, and that’s why they did what they did?”
“It’s possible,” he replied. Though he didn’t think that was very likely. It would have been a relief if this was a case of mistaken identity, but it would still leave unanswered the questions of the damaged generators and who had been rummaging through his stuff.
“But you don’t think so?” she prompted him, able to read his face just like always.
He sighed. “I don’t think so,” he admitted. “I don’t think someone who came after us with that much anger would mistake us for anyone else. I think it was about…about me.”
His voice cracked. He wished he didn’t have to come to terms with that part. He didn’t want to acknowledge that he had been the one to pull her into this, to put her in danger. He was the reason she was sitting there with a bandage on her head, in pain and afraid to be alone.
She widened her eyes, and they started to gloss with tears. From fear? For him or for her or maybe for both?
Xavier would never forgive himself if something happened to Warrior Peak or any of its employees or guests because of some vendetta a person he didn’t even know had against him. Let alone if something happened to Hannah as a result.
“What happens if they come after you again?” she asked, her voice taking on an edge of panic. “They’re going to escalate, right?”
“They might,” he agreed. Truthfully, he didn’t even want to think about how far they would take it.
Not because he was worried about himself—he knew how to handle anything the world threw at him.
He had learned that from his time in the military and the CIA.
Nobody would outsmart him. Nobody who didn’t have those skills themselves, at least.
“What’s going to happen to you?” she whispered, as though she hardly dared to consider the possibility of it.
“Nothing will,” he promised. “You don’t have to worry about me. Whoever is doing these things, they don’t know who they’re dealing with. I’ll figure this out, and I’ll handle it.” He reached over and gave her hand a squeeze. “But I… I’m not sure if you should be around me right now, Hannah.”
She stared at him, and for a moment, she looked so small and vulnerable, it made his chest hurt.
He wanted to be close to her, of course he did.
He wanted to keep her by his side to protect her, but after what had happened today, he was worried what that closeness might cost her.
He was already beating himself up about her being with him on the road and the attack.
His gut tightened at the thought of anything worse happening as a result of her being with him.
“What do you mean?” she asked, her voice quivering.
“I don’t know who’s after me,” he confessed. “But after today, I know they’re willing to go pretty damn far to try to hurt me or get my attention. And if they know how much I care about you, it could put you in danger, too.”
She sat there for a moment, taking in what he had just. A tear rolled down her cheek, but she wiped it away quickly and lifted the tea to her lips to take a sip. “I don’t care about that,” she said at last.
“Hannah, you can’t say that—”
“Yes, I can,” she replied firmly, shaking her head. “Listen to me, Xavier. I know you’re trying to protect me, I get that, and I appreciate it. But… I care about you. I have for a long time now.”
He gave her a small smile at her confession. There was really no reason for either of them to deny their feelings at this point. It was written all over their faces when they were around each other anyway.
“I’m not going to let these people scare me away from what I want.
What I need,” she continued, reaching out for his hand, her small fingers wrapping around his.
“I can’t lose you. I’ve waited too long for this.
The way you kissed me in town today, I… It was everything I’ve been waiting for.
Everything I’ve been too scared to hope for.
I’m not letting it slip through my fingers again, not a chance in hell. ”
He couldn’t speak, just rubbing his thumb along her knuckles as he listened to her. He should have cut her off before this went any further, but he just didn’t have it in him to stop this, not when her words were everything he had been craving, too.
“I want…us. Together. I want you, Xavier,” she confessed.
“The waiting and hoping and holding back and pretending I don’t feel the way I do…
It’s been killing me. I don’t care what I have to deal with to be with you.
I want you. I want us. And if you can’t handle that, I need you to tell me now.
” Her voice was taut, but her words were firm.
His eyes searched hers, doubtful. He wanted her, more than anything. The thought of more harm coming to her, especially because of him, was almost more than he could bear. “You could get hurt again,” he warned her with narrowed eyes.
She smiled. “I could get hurt again,” she repeated. “But if you break this off now, I am going to get hurt. No doubt about it. And I can handle it, if that’s what you really want. But I… I think you want this as much as I do.”
His head warred with his heart as he took in her words.
Of course he wanted to be with her. He had dreamed of being with her for so long, it was almost too much to hope for.
He craved that more than anything in the world, even more than finding out who had done all these things to Warrior Peak.
He needed her. There’d always been a place deep down inside of him that called out for her.
He reached out to caress her face, and she closed her eyes and rested her head in his hand.
Even a simple touch like this told him what he wanted.
No matter what the risk was, he had to have her.
There had always been something in their way, something pushing the two of them apart, but he was well and truly done with it now.
Whether it was her brother, his PTSD, or whatever outside threat was bearing down on them, he was finished with it.
He couldn’t let it stop him from being with the woman he loved.
He leaned in and planted a kiss against her lips, his voice fierce when he spoke again.
“That kiss today was the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time,” he murmured to her. “I want you, Hannah. I want us to be together.”
She smiled, looping her arms around his shoulders.
As he gazed into her eyes, he was struck by her strength and determination, yet at the same time her fragility underneath it all.
How much of his own pain and suffering would bleed on to her if he didn’t do something to deal with his past?
He had avoided getting help for his PTSD and nightmares for so damn long, but maybe this was the push he needed to finally deal with them—to finally start addressing all that pain he had hoped would just fade on its own.
He swore to himself, in that moment, that he would do whatever it took to keep her safe.
Not just from whoever was targeting them but from himself, too.
He wasn’t going to let her suffer from the trauma that he still carried with him.
The first chance he got, he was going to go to Sarah and tell her that he needed her help.
God only knew how true that was, no matter how much he had tried to deny it. He was ready to move forward.
Hannah kissed him again, this time, a little more intention behind her touch.
She knew as well as he did that they couldn’t deny what they felt for each other any longer.
Regardless of her brother or whoever else might stand in their way, they were meant to be together.
Maybe life would have been simpler if they could resist, but now there was nothing left to do but give in to the feelings they’d denied for so long.
He didn’t need to say the words, but he was sure she felt them, too, as their kiss deepened. He drew her into his lap, needing her closer. He wasn’t sure if he would ever get close enough to her, if the need that had throbbed inside of him for so long would ever be sated.
He could no longer deny his true feelings or his desire to be with her.
He was in this. They were in this.
Whatever happened going forward, they would be together.