Chapter Nine
“I’ll catch up with you in the morning, alright?” Lawson told Xavier as they stepped out of his office. “We can figure out exactly what we’re going to need to pull this off. And how many favors we’re going to need to call in to make it happen.”
“Sure. And don’t forget the sheriff,” Xavier replied. His eyes were filled with certainty and focus. He might have been reluctant to get involved with this in the first place, but now that he was in on it, Lawson could tell he wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of seeing this through.
“Right,” Lawson confirmed. “After we run through everything one more time tomorrow, I’ll give him a call and fill him in on what we’re doing. Maybe he can make a few inquiries of his own. That way they won’t lead back to us.”
It had been a long day of planning. Cade and Aaron had left a short time ago to handle a couple of things they needed to tend to, then go spend time with their women.
Lawson and Xavier had continued working on the case, jotting down a few details to follow up on the next day.
Afternoon had rolled into evening and now, it was time to take a break.
They needed to rest and clear their heads for what was to come.
And Xavier was anxious to get back to Hannah, check in and spend some time together.
Which meant there was just one person Lawson needed to speak to now.
Sarah.
She had been on his mind all night, that kiss replaying in his head more times than he could count.
More than that, though, the pain on her face when he had stayed silent at her demand to know how he felt about her.
He had frozen, torn between wanting her close to him and wanting her to leave for her own safety.
He couldn’t find the words to express that.
Now, he could see how much it must have hurt her, and he would do everything he could to put that right.
Because she was his priority right now. Everyone else on staff at the lodge was coupled up, and they all took care of each other.
They could deal with their own stuff on their own terms. But Sarah?
Sarah was out on her own, and still struggling with the impact of what had happened with Jed, whether she was willing to admit to it or not.
And he intended to do everything in his power to help her.
And sending her away, he could see now, wasn’t going to actually do anything to aid her in that task.
He was just scared—scared about what might happen if she got caught up in the middle of their takedown of Granger and the trafficking ring.
What might happen if she was targeted. That thought was more terrifying than anything else.
Instead of thinking with his head, he’d led with his feelings.
That worried him, too. Knowing he cared so deeply for someone to be scared down to his bones for their well-being.
He wasn’t sure how to deal with that. His sister was one thing…
she was family. But now, she had Xavier to look after her.
But, Sarah… She was something entirely different.
He was having a hard time processing it all.
And the kiss.
He wasn’t sure what had come over him in that moment. The way she was looking at him, it just lit a fire inside him—something urgent and demanding he couldn’t ignore. Like that might have been the last chance he had to kiss her. And he was sure as hell not going to pass it up.
Normally, at this time in the evening, she was reading a book somewhere outside, enjoying the longer evenings with a glass of wine.
Now he didn’t know what she was doing. He had seen her at dinner, but she had ignored him, refusing to so much as make eye contact.
He couldn’t blame her. He’d been an insensitive jerk.
Wandering out to the back porch, he found her reclined on one of the lounge chairs, next to the cold plunge tub. She had a book in one hand and a glass of white wine in the other, condensation forming on the glass.
She glanced up at him, and her eyes narrowed as she laid down her book on her lap. “If you’ve come to talk to me about leaving, save your breath,” she told him. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“That’s not what I came here to talk about—”
“I’m not leaving my home,” she went on, as though she hadn’t even heard him.
“And before you say anything about the trauma, I’ve signed up for an online therapist group I got from the recommendation of a colleague I went to school with.
The group is going to match me up with a therapist as soon as possible. ”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he replied. “But I don’t want you to leave, Sarah.”
She stared at him like he had grown an extra head. “But you said…”
“I know what I said,” he admitted, shoulders slumping down. “Do you mind if I sit?”
“Go ahead,” she murmured, not taking her eyes off him. She seemed to have softened slightly, now that he’d told her he wanted her to stay, and he sank down into one of the seats beside her, wishing he had his own glass of wine to take the edge off this conversation.
“I—I’m sorry about the way I spoke to you,” he explained. “I know it wasn’t right. I was just trying to wrap my head around some stuff that’s been happening around here, and I thought you would be better off somewhere else.”
“What’s been happening?” she asked, tensing slightly.
He knew he had to level with her. She was perceptive, and if he tried to keep anything from her, she was just going to figure it out in her own time, anyway…and then be even more hurt that he had hidden it.
“We’ve been presented with an urgent case and we’re running a tactical operation out of the lodge,” he explained. “The guy we’re taking on, he’s…a big deal. Influential. And we need to act fast.”
Her jaw hung open. “I thought you guys were done with all of that?” she asked, dumbfounded.
“I thought we were, too,” he admitted. “But I can’t walk away from this one.
I have to try to help, if I can. A friend of mine, she’s in danger, and the guy who’s after her…
I can’t in good conscience just let him continue on with the level of destruction he’s causing.
He needs to be stopped so she and others can be safe. ”
“And what about you?” she asked softly. “Are you going to be okay?”
He straightened his shoulders. “I’ll be fine,” he replied. “The guys and I are good at what we do. Besides, this is who I am. This is what I’ve always done.”
“It doesn’t have to stay that way, though,” she whispered.
He sighed. “I don’t know about that,” he replied.
“I just know I have to deal with this. No matter what. I can’t let this guy get away.
And I just… I didn’t want you around when it happened.
I thought he might target this place if he gets wind of what we’re doing, and I wanted you gone so you wouldn’t be in his line of fire if that happened. ”
“You could have just told me that,” she pointed out, but he could see the flicker of a smile on her face. He might not have gone about this the right way, but at least she could see that his intentions were pure.
“I know, and I should have,” he agreed. “I should have come clean from the start. I know this isn’t my decision to make, and you can’t make a choice for yourself unless you have all the information you need.”
“Thank you for telling me,” she replied, and she reached over to give his hand a squeeze. “Can you tell me anything about this operation? Why it’s so important to you?”
“I can’t tell you too much,” he responded. “There’s only so much information we have access to right now.”
“I’ll take whatever you can give me. I assume it has to be pretty major to have you guys involved?”
“Yeah, this guy’s into a lot of illegal stuff. But the main thing we’re focusing on are the kidnappings happening in this area,” he admitted to her. “They could be related to sex trafficking by this guy and his crew.”
The blood drained from her face and she lowered her gaze, clearly shocked by what he’d just said.
“Oh,” she murmured. “You think the recent kidnappings off the highway are related to that?”
“We think so,” he said. “We’re still trying to piece everything together, but it looks likely. We’re going to get to the bottom of it, though. We’re going to stop it. I promise.”
“I know you will,” she acknowledged. “I know this is your area of expertise. Sorry for pushing for more information. I didn’t mean to overstep.”
“It’s okay,” he assured her, rubbing his thumb along her fingers. “I get it.”
“And I’m sorry…” she began, hesitating before she forced the words out. “I shouldn’t have put you on the spot and demanded to know how you felt about me.” She shook her head when he tried to speak. “You should be allowed to share your feelings in your own way, your own time. And the kiss…”
His eyes darkened at the mention of their kiss and his gaze dropped to her mouth. “Oh, I’m definitely not sorry about that,” he replied softly.
She bit her lip, staring at him with hopeful eyes. “Really?”
“Really,” he assured her, and he moved closer, kneeling on the porch beside her chair. She was so small, he was at eye level with her right now, and those sweet blue-green eyes were softening.
“I’ve been thinking about kissing you for a long time,” he continued, interlocking his fingers with hers. “I’m just sorry it wasn’t how I pictured it.”
“It wasn’t?” she breathed.
“No, I always pictured it…softer,” he murmured. He drew even closer to her, their breath intermingling in the space in front of them.
“You want to show me?” she asked, a smile curling up the corners of her lips.
“If you’ll let me,” he replied, his gaze burning into hers.
Instead of replying, she nodded and closed her eyes.
So he leaned in the rest of the way, closing the last of the gap between them. Finally, their lips came together again, and this time, it felt far softer, far sweeter.
He reached his hand up to cup her face, and she slid her hands to his arms, holding on to them as though for dear life.
He knew just how she felt. There was something about her that felt steady and strong, and as he deepened the kiss, he knew this was what he had been waiting for.
Not the two of them, overwhelmed by emotion, but the two of them choosing to give themselves to each other.
To accept that want between them, and finally act on it.
His tongue slipped into her mouth as he grazed his fingers down her cheek and moved his hand to the back of her neck to hold her in place.
He felt the goose bumps rushing across her soft skin in the process.
Her perfume filled the air around them, something sweet and with a hint of vanilla, like fresh cupcakes. And she was just as tempting.
She moved her hand up his arm, sweeping it over the nape of his neck and into his hair, her fingertips digging slightly into his scalp as she pulled him in closer. He felt her touch tingling all the way down his spine, lighting up every inch of his body.
She turned to face him fully, swinging her legs off the lounge chair to the ground.
She kissed him harder, her teeth catching on his lip as her book tumbled out of her lap and onto the ground, not giving it a second thought.
A damn meteor could have hit the lodge right now, and Lawson doubted it would have been enough to break them apart.
When they finally pulled away from each other, both of them laughed, a tension breaking between them, their argument completely forgotten.
For so long, he had done his best to ignore the desire he felt for her, to keep things on a more professional level.
But now? This was what he wanted from now on.
No hiding. No pretending it wasn’t there.
Just giving himself over to her, to this desire between them.
“Is that more like you had imagined?” she asked coyly.
“Hmm, much closer,” he replied, leaning his forehead against hers. “But I think I need a little more practice to get it right.”
She giggled as he leaned into her and kissed her again, the taste of white wine on her lips. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. He knew there was still so much he needed to worry about, so much he needed to take care of, but right now, all that mattered was how she felt in his arms.
And how certain he was that he would do anything it took to keep her there.