Chapter 5 #2
“How do you feel about pain?”
The question should probably alarm me. Instead, curiosity wins. I think about the conversation downstairs. Trust and control. The certainty in Ash's voice whenever he talks about these things.
Then I think about the constant noise in my own head.
The guilt.
The memories.
The exhaustion.
“I'm okay with it.” The answer comes out more eagerly than intended.
Ash immediately notices. The smile he gives me is slow. Knowing.
My face grows even hotter.
His thumb brushes lightly across my lower lip. The contact lasts less than a second. Still. Every nerve ending in my body seems to become aware of it. I become painfully conscious of my own reactions. The awareness is embarrassing.
Ash seems entirely unbothered by it.
“If we're doing this,” he says quietly, “I need honesty.”
I nod. “Okay.”
His expression remains patient. “Is anything off limits?”
The question catches me off guard. I open my mouth, then close it again. The truth is that I've never thought about it. Never had reason to.
“Nothing.”
One eyebrow rises. The expression says exactly what he's thinking. Are you sure?
I rush ahead anyway. “I'll do anything.”
The second the words leave my mouth, the room falls quiet. Ash's expression changes. Something thoughtful settles behind his eyes. For a moment, neither of us speaks. Then he reaches for me.
The kiss is surprisingly gentle.
Not demanding.
Not overwhelming.
Just warm.
Patient.
Like he's giving me space to change my mind.
I don't.
If anything, I lean closer, letting his tongue explore my mouth. He tilts my head up, devouring me. A slight noise escapes my throat. When he breaks away, I'm completely breathless. I lean forward for more, but he places a hand on my throat.
His eyes are dark as he looks down at me. “Take off your clothes.”
“Um...”
Ash's fingers pinch my chin painfully, making me meet his eyes. “I'm gonna go easy on you tonight since I don't have any of my things and because of your...” A devilish smile curls on his mouth that sends my blood straight south. “Particular condition.”
I swallow hard, adjusting my hips against the bed.
“So when I say 'take off your clothes', you say...?” He tilts his head.
“Yes, sir.” I squeak.
He smiles and releases me. He strides over to the armchair in the corner and makes himself comfortable, his long legs spread wide.
His eyes drag up my body and land on my face.
My heart thrums in my ears as I pull off my shirt, throwing it aside. Fuck, I'm so nervous I feel like I can't look at him. If I look at him, I might burst into flames and die of embarrassment. I kick off my shoes, and I unbutton my jeans, hooking my fingers into the waistband.
“Briefs off too, pretty boy.” Ash rumbles.
I glance up at him to see his chin in his hand, observing me like a painting.
I blush as I fully rid myself of my clothes. My dick hard from the way he's looking at me.
“Already hard, Kai? Do you like to be embarrassed?” Ash's voice feels like silk against my nerves.
“I'm...I'm not sure, sir,” I answer.
Ash licks his lips and then says, “Crawl to me.”
I feel my ears grow hot as I process his words, looking away.
“I didn't say you could look away,” he growls. “Crawl to me. Now.”
I slowly sink to my knees, keeping my eyes on him. The itchy hotel carpet scratches my hands and knees as I make my way over to Ash. This is so fucked up. I feel too exposed. I'm a grown man crawling across the floor with my ass in the air.
With every motion, I can see Ash's pants tent a little higher, making me momentarily forget that I'm supposed to feel embarrassed or ashamed. When I finally make it over to him, I sit back on my heels in between his legs. My wide eyes look up at him as I wait for his next direction.
Ash leans forward, looking pleased. His thumb drags over my lips, pushing into my mouth as his hand holds my jaw. I suck it out of instinct. What instinct, I have no idea, but all I know is I need him to touch me in any way he sees fit and soon.
Ash smiles like I just offered him the Stanley Cup and drags his sweatpants down. His large cock springs free.
Jesus christ.
I suck on his thumb harder, while keeping my eyes on his penis.
My fingers twitch towards my own cock.
Ash pops his thumb from my mouth, dragging his hand down to squeeze my nipple.
An embarrassing whine slips from my throat.
“Do you know how to give head?” His fingers don't stop tweaking my nipples as he speaks, making it hard to listen.
“No, sir.” I sit back on my knees, trying to get closer to his warmth. My cocks bumps into his shin, the slight touch making a shock roll down my spine. “I've only received.”
Ash's fingers tangle in my hair, snapping my face to look up at him. “From a man or woman?”
“A woman.”
Ash tilts his head. “Did you like it? Did you come?”
The tingling of my scalp and his rough tone feel delicious against me. “Yes, sir.”
“Do to me what she did to you, Kai.” He brings my head over to his crotch, holding his dick against my mouth.
I look up at him. “I'm nervous, I won't be any good, Ash—sir.”
The pull on my hair eases. “Mind your teeth and take me as deep as you can.”
I nod.
“Light?” Ash asks.
I lick the head of his dick cautiously, enjoying the salty taste. “Green.”
I lick again, the heat of him burning against my tongue. I try to remember what that girl did that drunken college night years ago. She had used her hand. I'm not nearly the size of Ash, but it still felt good.