16. Joey
Elodie Masters was tall and elegant, and very friendly. Within minutes of arriving, she’d met me in the lobby, handed me a badge with my name on it and walked me to the back where she pointed at a desk that would be mine for a few days. I dropped my things and slipped into the lab coat she gave me.
It felt so official. So grown up.
“I’m so glad you were open to this,” she told me. “It’s such a terrific way for us to see if we’re a fit.”
“I’m glad you offered. I’m really intrigued by the work you do here, Ms. Masters.”
“Please,” she laughed. “Call me Elodie.”
Elodie showed me several of the studies the lab was working on, highlighting some of the interesting data they’d uncovered and explaining the various steps they would go through to report their findings and develop the technology once they had approvals.
At the end of the first day, we sat in her office, and I realized I should have been calling her Dr. Masters all along. “Do all the researchers here have PhDs?” I asked, feeling a little sheepish.
“No,” she answered. “A few do, but lots of the techs are pretty recent graduates like yourself.”
Dr. Masters explained a bit more about the various jobs and levels within the organization, and then she leaned back in her chair. “Tell me more about you, Josephine. What do you think you’d most like to learn about in a career field?”
For a second, I froze, searching my mind for the proper or correct answer. But then I forced myself to relax, John’s voice echoing somewhere in my head, telling me I was strong, I was smart. And I began to talk, explaining to Dr. Masters the kind of work I’d envisioned ever since I was a little girl.
“That’s pretty close to what we do here,” she agreed. “I think you’d be an excellent fit.”
I went back to John’s that first day elated. Freedom felt amazing, and I couldn’t wait for more.
* * *
Mama had started emailing me.
Dear Josephine:
I am getting in touch to suggest that you come home. Though your tantrum had sweeping repercussions, Daddy and I are ready to discuss things and help you attempt to reconcile with Evan and put things back together.
For now, I”ve told people that the stress of the wedding was too much for you, that you simply had to have a break.
If you like, we will send a car for you or arrange plane fare.
I”ll expect a reply shortly,
Your Mother
They were all like that. They came every other day, and were formal and cold, and they made me want to scream and stomp and tear my hair out.
I wasn”t a child—though I could be compelled to see that I”d handled my issues in a childish fashion instead of facing them head on. But head on had never worked with my mother.
And I didn”t respond to her emails because they allowed no room for response. They were directive and hard.
I had no idea why she”d decided this was the best way to communicate—maybe because I hadn”t managed to return her calls, and she”d never been fond of texting. But now she”d clearly set up some kind of rolling campaign to convince me that every choice I”d made since I”d dropped her off after my dress fitting had been an egregious mistake.
Only... it hadn”t been. I wasn”t ready to go home, not if going home meant ducking my head and stepping right back into that too-small box that had held my life before.
Now, for the first time, I felt free. I felt capable and powerful and strong.
It had been just under a month since I”d ”run away from home.” And while none of what I”d accomplished—including the wardrobe I”d had to buy to do the shadows Clara set up for me—had been done singlehandedly, it had all happened without the financial support or very tight strings of my family.
But it never would have happened without John.
I owed him some money since he”d been feeding, clothing, and housing me. But any time I brought it up, he refused to talk about it and wouldn”t even hear of me promising to pay him back. Still, I would someday.
Our life together in his adorable house in Virginia had evolved into something so comfortable and domestic, I would never have believed it if someone had suggested this was what my life could ever be. There were no afternoon teas, no bridge club, no ladies” luncheons. It was a relief. And the real wonder if it was that despite the normalcy, the sheer regularity of it all... It was extraordinary.
It was like we were adults, playing house.
Except the way we played was different from how I”d played house as a kid. Less tea and cookies. More sex. There was a lot of sex.
I”d given up sleeping in the guest room, and Hank seemed to have given up judging me.
John and I lived together. We ate together, worked out together, watched television together... and all the time in his presence reminded me why we”d been so close when we were young. We were so compatible. The thing neither of us knew back then was just how completely compatible we were—in every way. Especially physically.
All he had to do was look at me with those dark sexy eyes full of suggestion, and my panties were drenched. One of his full-lipped half smiles, and I”d be in his lap. The slightest graze of his fingers along my skin and my whole body lit up for him. It was addictive and electric, and unlike anything I”d ever felt before.
And then there was work, or the promise of it...
I shadowed Elodie Masters for three days, learning as much as I possibly could about the work she did developing novel treatments for livestock to help prevent devastating diseases that in the past had taken out entire herds. It was fascinating work, and Elodie was brilliant.
”There are lots of opportunities here, Josephine,” she”d told me as we”d parted on my third day. ”Give me a call if you”re interested in talking some more about openings here. I am sure we have a place for you.”
I”d been giddy when I”d gotten home each day, a sense of professional promise and possibility sweeping through me as John and I talked about what I”d seen and done while we worked out and had dinner.
The second shadow Clara had set up was actually in her own department, and it involved tracking emerging diseases in wildlife, seeking causes, finding interventions, and learning about possible threats of cross-over to the human population. At the end of that experience, Clara took me out for drinks.
”I don”t know how to thank you for everything,” I told her, sitting across from her at the little wine bar in downtown Wilcox.
She smiled at me as she lifted her pinot noir, raising it toward me. I touched her glass with my own. ”Everyone just needs a chance to see what”s possible,” she said after taking a sip. ”I think it”s really smart that you didn”t dive right into something straight out of school, actually. You gave yourself some time to really think about what you wanted.”
I swallowed down my desire to explain that wasn”t even close to what I”d been doing. It sounded so much better her way.
”Did either of those shadows feel like it could be a fit?”
”They both did,” I said, soaking in the quiet cozy atmosphere of the little Italian-themed bar. We sat near the window, and the quaint Main Street of downtown Wilcox lay outside, making me feel like I”d gone back in time to one of those small towns in old Norman Rockwell paintings, or dropped into a Hallmark film. I loved it here. ”Especially the first one. Dr. Masters and I really hit it off, and I really liked how much the actual science was a part of her everyday work.”
Clara nodded. ”It”s exciting, isn”t it? To take something you learned theoretically in school and see it applied to things that really make a difference?”
”Definitely.” I ran a finger around the base of my wineglass.
”I sense some hesitation. What”s the but?”
”The but,” I repeated, laughing. ”I have a but, but I don”t know how valid it is really. A job is a job, right?”
Clara”s head tilted and she frowned at me. ”Not true. A job is something that will absorb about eighty percent of the time you”re not at home, so whatever you”re spending all those hours doing better be something you care about. Something you love, if possible.”
”Yeah,” I sighed.
”So what are you thinking? What”s the real but?”
I told Clara about the offer in Tennessee, which was much closer to the world I thought I”d eventually go to work in—focused on human health and disease.
”Hmm,” she said, her pretty face taking on a thoughtful look. ”I could tell you that every advance and development we make in animal science has some kind of translation to human health, because it”s mostly true. But I get it—if you feel like that”s where you”re supposed to be, I can”t really argue with that.”
I dropped my focus to my wine for a second, wishing the job that seemed like the best fit wasn”t so far away. ”Yeah, but I”m not sure I want to go back.”
”Is Tennessee home?”
I met her eyes, realizing Clara was one of the few people I”d met in life who took me at face value, who didn”t know my family or the preordained path I”d leapt off of.
”No, I”m from Alabama, actually.”
”Oh,” Clara said, her easy smile in place. She shifted her weight and moved her water glass as the waiter arrived with the flatbread we”d ordered to share. ”And you moved up here to be with John?”
An awkward chuckle escaped me, and I tried to figure out how to tell my story in a way that didn”t make me sound like a heartless and opportunistic bitch. But I only had the truth. ”Kind of?”
Clara”s eyes met mine and she gave a little head shake. ”Kind of? Aren”t you guys in a relationship? Living together? What”s the kind of?”
I put my glass down and steeled myself to tell the story. ”I was actually engaged down there. To a guy I wasn”t in love with but who my parents adored. Our families practically arranged the whole thing.”
The bright eyes across from me were intensely focused on me, but there was no judgment in them, only interest. I went on.
I told her about growing up under my parents” thumbs, about college not being quite the escape I”d thought it would be once Evan and I hooked up. I told her about dropping my mother off at home and pointing the car toward Virginia.
”So you were high school sweethearts?” she asked.
”Me and Sammy?” An unwanted flash of disappointment shot through me—the one unhappy memory I had of him from school. ”No, it wasn”t ever like that back then. I mean...I guess I thought it could have been, but that wasn”t mutual.”
”But you”re together now, right?” She pulled a piece of flatbread from the platter and paused before taking a bite. ”I guess I shouldn”t assume, you just looked cozy the other night.”
”We”ve kind of just fallen into something, I guess,” I admitted. ”I came here because he was the only person I could think to run to, the only person far enough away from Alabama who I knew would let me crash for a little while.”
”So this is just temporary? Will you go back?”
I shook my head. ”Not to Alabama, no.”
”But maybe Tennessee is attractive because it”s closer.”
All of this had been in my head, but I”d actively avoided thinking too hard about any of it. Still, eventually my parents would need some kind of answers from me. I just wished I could find them for myself first.
”Maybe,” I admitted. ”I don”t really know what I”m supposed to do. It isn”t like my leaving was some kind of well thought out plan. I basically ran away.”
”But you are a grown woman. It”s in your rights to live your life the way you think is right.”
I laughed. ”You haven”t met my mama.”
We ate and drank for a while and the street outside grew darker, making the wine bar feel even cozier. Clara told me about Katie and her previous marriage to Katie”s dad, and then she explained how she and Sly had gotten together after knowing each other in high school.
”That”s so romantic,” I told her, admiring the ring on her finger.
”So...” she drew the word out, and I knew she was going to ask about John.
”I don”t know about that either,” I said, beating her to the punch. I blew out a breath and then took a long drink of wine. ”We”re... I don”t know. We”re friends first. We”ve always been friends.”
”When you get home tonight, will you go straight to bed? In a separate room?” She raised an eyebrow, a mischievous smile on her pink lips.
”I”m actually just supposed to text him when we”re done here. He”s picking me up. He didn”t want me to worry about having to drive.”
Clara was smiling at me in a way that made me blush.
”What?”
”You realize how cute that is, right?”
”He looks out for me. He always has.”
The smile didn”t fade and something about it made me squirm. ”He”s just a really good guy.”
”Who you are sleeping with?” Even her words ignited thoughts of John”s strong hands on my body and my blush grew hotter.
”Yes.” It felt like an admission, but it was also a relief to have someone to talk to about it. ”But it just kind of happened, and now we can”t stop.”
”Can”t stop? Good, huh?”
”I can”t even... it”s like...”
”It”s good.”
”Yeah.” I took a sip of wine, finishing the glass and setting it back on the table as I thought about what I wanted to say. ”It”s just like we”ve fallen into this rhythm. And it”s not a bad thing, but it”s almost like we went straight to domestic bliss and skipped all the whirlwind dating stuff. I mean, neither of us really ever asked the other about it, everything just evolved.”
”It sounds really nice,” Clara said.
”It is. So nice,” I agreed. ”But we also aren”t really talking about the elephant in the room.”
”The one wearing the big sign that says ”I just ended a long relationship, broke an engagement, and am essentially jobless and homeless”?”
”It sounds awful when you put it like that.”
”It”s not that bad. You”re just in between things. You”re deciding. And you have plenty of options.”
”Yeah. But I need to make decisions pretty soon. My mother”s been shooting across the bow.”
Clara”s eyebrows lowered and she let out a little laugh. ”What does that mean?”
”Typical Mama stuff. Threats, mostly. Come home or I”ll lose my inheritance. Come home or she”ll never be able to show her face at the ladies” league luncheon again. Stuff like that.”
”I don”t know your mother,” Clara began, her eyes dropping to the tabletop, ”and it isn”t my place to give advice. But I”ll tell you one little thing and you can just tuck it away to think about later.”
”Okay.”
”My parents are both gone now, and when they were living, they spent plenty of time telling what I should and shouldn”t be doing. And it used to drive me nuts. When I divorced Katie”s dad, you would”ve thought the world was ending.” Clara”s lips turned into a sad smile, and she tilted her head. ”But I can see now that it all came from a place of love. I was their only kid and they worried. It felt like meddling. But it was just concern. And love.”
A sad little sigh escaped my lips without permission, and I sat lower in my chair. ”Yeah. I know.” I looked up at my friend. ”I”m sorry about your parents.”
”Thanks.”
”I”ll call her soon. I think I just want to be able to say, ”here”s the plan” when I do. I don”t want to leave any room for her to convince me that her ideas are the right ones.”
”Easy enough. You already know what her ideas are.”
I laughed, some of the heaviness lifting from within me. ”True. I do. I just need to figure out what mine are.”
”This was super fun,” Clara said as we gathered our things and left after paying the bill. ”Let”s do it again if you stick around. And let me know what you decide. I”ll help any way I can.”
”I will. I owe you,” I told her.
”Nah, that”s what friends do,” she said. I watched her walk to her car, which was parked at the curb outside, and I stood beneath the awning waiting for John. He took only a few minutes to arrive, but in that time, I considered everything Clara had said, and felt my resolve solidify.