15. John
It was hard to keep myself away from Joey at the gym. At this point, she navigated the place like a vet, loading up her own bars and only asking for help when she needed a spot. But today? Today I wanted to pounce on her every time she walked by.
Some part of me had reverted back to the kid I’d been the first time I’d ever considered dating Joey. Kissing Joey. Doing more... and that kid was doing an endless celebration dance and sprinting around inside my head yelling “Holy Shit!”
I’d slept with several women. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that at some point during each experience, I’d thought of Joey. So getting to actually sleep with Joey? Was a lot like achieving some long-held dream. I was exuberant.
There was a part of me that worried, though. Why hadn’t she let me tell her how I felt about her? Was it because she saw the inevitable end even as we got started? The idea gave me a chill I didn’t enjoy. I didn’t want her to leave.
Despite my concerns, I wasn’t about to walk away. I was desperate enough for Joey that I realized I was willing to accept the consequences when it inevitably ended. She’d go on with her life, and I’d figure out a way to pick up the pieces. Until then? I wasn’t going to dig too deep.
Joey was sexy and sweet, and so easy to be with.
She didn”t seem to expect much, and I was beginning to find one of my favorite things was to surprise her with little gifts or her favorite coffee treat. Even the smallest things—like remembering to stir a half packet of Splenda into her tea at night made her ridiculously happy.
I was starting to think no one had ever really spoiled her before, which was hard to imagine given where and how Joey had grown up. It made me wonder about things with Evan, too, though I was hesitant to ask.
Joey didn”t seem upset about the engagement breaking off, and she didn”t seem to be obsessing about the cancelled wedding or her parents” silence. And if I was being honest, all of that worried me. It felt like we were on borrowed time, maybe. Or like we were stretched out on lawn chairs atop an active volcano, pretending to be oblivious to the imminent explosion as we went through blissful days and nights of workouts, quiet dinners, explosive sex. But when I raised the issue with her a week later, she brushed it off.
”There is no reason to live your life planning for the worst to happen,” she told me as we rested between sets on the leg press. ”All that does is make you miserable.”
I took a slug of water and thought about her words, her upbeat attitude. ”Right,” I agreed. ”But you can still be optimistic and recognize that there are consequences to your actions.”
She pulled a plate off the machine and shot me a narrow-eyed gaze as she racked it. As she moved the plate from the other side and settled into the seat, rolling her head to look at me again. ”Are you getting tired of me? Is this your way of telling me I”m wearing out my welcome?” Her pretty face was suddenly uncertain, the bright eyes dimming and her mouth tightening.
”No. Honestly, I don”t think I”d ever get tired of having you around.”
She wiggled her eyebrows. ”Because of the sex.”
I couldn”t stop the grin I felt spread across my lips. ”I mean... yeah, that”s a nice bonus,” I admitted. ”But I don”t think I”d want you to leave even if that wasn”t a part of this. I”m just worried... at some point, you”ll have to make some decisions, right?”
Joey turned to face the leg press and straightened her legs, flipping the handles holding up the weight and shifting it to her legs. I watched, mesmerized as she lowered and pressed the weight up at an angle, the sled gliding smoothly up and down as the muscles in her thighs flexed.
Joey had always been sexy, but the version of my friend that was emerging after even a short time joining me at the gym was the hottest thing I”d ever seen. Her lean frame was beginning to take on contours and ridges of muscle that only made her more attractive. She was becoming strong, and I knew it was affecting her inside too.
She re-racked the sled and turned back to me, her cheeks flushed. ”I am making decisions, John. And I wanted to talk to you about them, actually.”
We switched places, and I put the plates back onto the sled, adding another on each side and then sliding into the seat. ”Oh yeah?”
As I pressed, Joey talked.
”Clara called Monday after we saw her at the bar that night. She has two people for me to meet, and we set up shadows for the end of this week and the beginning of the next one.”
”That”s awesome. Where?”
”Well, that”s what I wanted to talk to you about. They”re both local. So if either one led to an actual job, it would be here.”
My heart leapt at the thought of Joey staying. Would we be an actual couple? Would this short-term fling become something real?
”That would be amazing,” I told her.
”She also found someone for me to talk to in Tennessee,” she went on. ”And I guess they”re pretty desperate, because I called the guy and we scheduled a phone interview.”
”How does that make them desperate? You”ve got a degree, you”re qualified, right?”
”I did the interview and he sent me an offer.” Joey delivered this news without emotion, and I couldn”t tell if she was happy about the offer, about the validation of her qualifications.
”That”s incredible.” But it was in Tennessee. I hadn”t missed that detail. I pressed the sled up one last time, a little more force fueling my last rep than usual, thanks to the thought of Joey leaving, and I flipped the handles to engage the safety and then looked at her. ”It”s incredible, right?”
She shrugged. ”It”s nice to be wanted, I guess.”
”And it”d be closer to home. Is it a job you”d consider?”
Joey held my eyes for a moment and her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. ”It”s in a lab. Working with a genetic biologist and focusing on inherited diseases in children. The pay is...”
I waited for her to say it was disappointing, ready to console her.
”It”s pretty incredible. They must really be desperate.”
The disappointment I felt threatened to color my words. ”No. You”re just that qualified, and you know it. Joey, that”s great. Congratulations.” I stood and tugged my friend up into a hug. Only, when our bodies touched, it didn”t feel friendly at all. Joey had become a lot more than a friend to me, and I was having a hard time ignoring it—or the pain I knew I”d feel if she ended up moving back where she belonged.
The hug went on a bit longer than was strictly necessary, and when we disentangled, we were both flushed, and Joey let out a giggle that drew a couple curious looks from some of the muscle heads nearby. I forced myself to think about golf stats for a moment or two in order to keep the erection I was fighting from winning out.
”When do you have to give them an answer?” I asked, sitting back down to recover myself.
”I told him the truth—that I was looking at a couple other things here and wouldn”t know for at least a few weeks. He said that was fine, which is how I know they”re totally frantic to hire someone.”
”No.” I pointed my water bottle at her after taking a drink. ”If they were really desperate, they”d be doing whatever it took to get a warm body in that spot. If they”re willing to wait, it”s because they want you.”
Joey held my gaze for a long beat, as if trying to see if the truth was there in my eyes somewhere. Her blue eyes widened slightly, almost as if she was surprised to see that I meant it, and maybe even accepted that truth herself.
”You”re a fucking catch, and they know it,” I added. When Joey smiled, I raised an eyebrow and couldn”t stop myself from adding, ”and so do I.”
* * *
Wednesday morning, Joey appeared in the kitchen in a silky blouse and a pair of tan pants, looking groomed and professional—and painfully pretty.
”Are you ready?” I asked her. Today she was going to be shadowing a scientist in health and human services.
”I guess so,” she said, and a tiny tremble in her voice gave away her nervousness.
”You”ll be great,” I told her, handing her the green smoothie I”d made for her, along with two pieces of real bacon. ”And remember, this is basically you interviewing them.”
She bit into a piece of bacon and her eyes dropped shut. After she swallowed, she looked at me again. ”And if it all goes wrong, I”ll still have bacon.”
”And me,” I told her, wrapping an arm around her waist and dropping a kiss to her forehead. ”But it won”t. You”ll do well, and they”ll be drooling to get you in there full time.”
”I”m just nervous,” she said, sliding into a seat at the table. ”I”ve never actually had a job, John. How sad is that?”
I slid her coffee across to her and took the seat across from her. ”Not sad. Just the way your life has been so far.”
”I have no idea what to expect,” she said, leaning her head down and whispering like this was an admission of failure. ”Clara told me a few things. She said this lady—Elodie—is really nice. So that”s good.”
”If you hate it, that will be an important data point,” I reminded her. ”You”re just going to see if this is the kind of job you”d want. You”re not committed to be there. If it”s awful, you say no thank you and leave.”
”I”m going to miss back and biceps.”
I laughed. ”I never thought I”d hear those words come out of your mouth.”
Joey frowned at me. ”I”m addicted,” she said. ”You created a monster.”
”We could go when you get home. I need to get some ice time anyway.”
Her face brightened. ”Okay! That”ll give me something to look forward to.”
”Baby, you”ve got tons to look forward to. Your whole life is basically beginning right now.”
Joey smiled at me and my heart twisted in my chest. I could see us, as if from above, sitting here across the kitchen table in the morning before work—a picture of happy domesticity. Joey and me... living a life together. Every day it went on, the more real it felt. It was becoming tough to remember that it was all temporary.
”I guess I”d better go,” she said, finishing her smoothie and rising from the table.
”I made you a lunch,” I said, moving to the refrigerator and pulling out a brown paper bag.
Joey froze and stared at me as I held it out to her. Her bright eyes shone, and her mouth dropped open. ”You made me a lunch?”
”I mean, you don”t have to take it...” I dropped the arm holding out the bag, deflated. I was ridiculous. What had I been thinking? But Joey hurled herself into my arms.
”Why are you so perfect?” she asked, pressing up to kiss me.
I kissed her back, joy flooding every cell inside me as my heart responded.
You”re perfect. You”ve always been perfect for me.