Chapter 19 #2
I slipped on my noise-canceling headphones and forced myself to get ready for the day.
No matter how loud I blasted my music, it wasn’t enough to drown out the sound of my phone ringing or the unease turning my stomach.
The morning seemed intent on torturing me with how slowly it dragged on.
I went through all the normal motions—practice, breakfast, class—feeling like I was trapped behind a warped pane of glass, the world nothing more than a blur of muffled sounds.
It wasn’t until Sebastian found me at my study spot in Nelson Library that my senses started to return.
Little by little, the filter lifted. Sound flickered on as he spoke, and the scent of musty books filled my nose.
“You seem quiet today,” he said, poking my foot under the table with his own. “Is everything okay?”
I’d been rereading the same sentence for ten minutes. “A little tired, maybe.”
Tell him, I thought. Tell him about the missed call.
After all, Sebastian had said that we could talk about anything.
I barely had time to consider the notion before my phone started to vibrate against the table.
I hesitated for a long second, terrified to flip over the device and watch that familiar unsaved number move across the screen.
But it was only my dad, and relief washed over me in an instant as I shot up from the chair, answered the phone, and stepped away from the table.
“Hey, Dad,” I said, coming to a stop on the other side of the bookshelves. “Any updates on Gabby?”
There was a long sigh from the other end of the phone, and I held my breath in anticipation of his response. “Well, she’s not too keen about seeing the school counselor.”
Yeah, I’m sure she’s not.
“Did you tell her that it’s important?” It was an effort to keep the frustration from my voice.
“I explained that she needed to work on her attitude and reminded her that she’ll have to pick up another activity without dance.”
I wanted to scream, and probably would have if I hadn’t been in the library. He needed to put his foot down about this. How could he not see that Gabby required more than an attitude check? She needed professional help.
“You promised.”
“It’s not that simple, Grace. There are things that you don’t understand.”
“What if this has something to do with Mom? She called me this morning.” A crushing silence followed in the wake of my confession, and I felt my grip tighten over the phone clutched in my hand.
“It does have something to do with your mom.”
My heart dropped into my stomach.
“What do you mean?”
It took far too long for him to respond, but even in those tense moments of holding my breath, nothing could have prepared me for his next words.
“Gabby has been in touch with your mother for over a year now. The reason she called you is because Gabby asked her to.”
I didn’t know what to say. It was hard to think over the ringing in my ears and the panic burrowing a hole in my chest. “How could you let her—”
“Gabby wants to know her mom. I might not like it, but I can’t keep them apart. She’s old enough to make her own decision about that.”
No. No. No. This couldn’t be real.
“Grace?”
I felt cold all over. The warmth had been sucked from the room and replaced with a bitter numbness. It seeped into my skin and traveled all the way down to the bone.
“You’ve been lying to me. Both of you have.”
Nothing. He had nothing to stay. He’d let that woman back into Gabby’s life and kept it from me. Like I hadn’t been the one to pick up the pieces of him when she left.
“I can’t believe this has been going on for so long.” My voice grew thick, weighed down with the awful truth of what he’d done. “When she breaks Gabby’s heart, if she hasn’t already, it’ll be your fault.”
I ended the call. There was absolutely nothing he could say to fix this.
Not when my trust was completely shattered.
I closed my eyes and took in a long breath through my nose, only stopping when my chest was so tight it felt ready to burst. I needed to hold myself together.
At least until I was in the safety of my own bedroom.
I returned to the table without looking at Sebastian. As soon as my eyes fell across the screen of my laptop, I knew there was no point trying to finish my paper.
“Is everything okay?”
I didn’t want to lie to Sebastian, but I couldn’t talk about this right now. I was moments away from completely falling apart. I’d felt this type of pain before. It was the reason I kept most people at arm’s length—so they couldn’t hurt me.
“I may have overheard some of your conversation,” he added.
His admission didn’t come as a surprise given how quiet it was in the library.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Is everything okay with Gabby?”
“I really can’t talk about it right now,” I confessed.
Sebastian didn’t push any further. Instead, he reached out his hand for me to take.
Slowly, I wove my fingers through his. But even his touch wasn’t enough to block out the sound of my father’s voice.
Gabby has been in touch with your mother for over a year now.
The reason she called you is because Gabby asked her to.
Was our mother deliberately turning her against me?
And all this time my father had known, even encouraged it.
He’d let that woman back in, and now Gabby was someone I didn’t recognize.
It was incomprehensible.
>> <<
Sebastian
“You have no reason to bench me, Coach!”
There was no hiding the plea in my voice; I was desperate to get back in the rink.
This was our first matchup with Boston College all season.
The East Coast team was only trailing by one, which meant the game was far from over.
Sure, my knee was a little sore, but I could push through the pain. I had to.
“You were favoring your knee, Sebastian. There’s no need to push yourself tonight. We have more important games coming up.”
I fought back the urge to protest as Bishop took a slash along his shin from Boston’s right winger. A whistle blew. I surged forward out of instinct, ready to hit the ice, but Dawson clapped a hand over my shoulder.
“You’re done for the night. There’s only seven minutes on the clock. We can hold them off without you.”
A snarl of frustration tore from my lips as I collapsed onto the bench, watching as number twenty-four on the opposing team intercepted Dean’s slapshot.
He was a great defenseman, probably the best player on their team, and the reason why my knee was currently aching in protest. The guy played clean, but he hit hard.
“We’re not helpless without you.” Bryce took the seat beside me breathing hard, having just come off a line shift.
I knew they weren’t helpless without me—that wasn’t the issue.
Bryce didn’t know about the unanswered emails or the missing mid-year report.
He didn’t understand how important it was for me to be out there, proving myself at every moment.
On the slim chance the Red Wings were still considering me for a contract, I had to prove my strength.
The hockey world needed to know I wasn’t a risk because of my previous injury.
I seethed in silence as the clock ran down, itching to throw myself back into the game.
I’d spent almost all of my junior year glued the bench, rotting on the sidelines as the team moved forward without me.
Sitting here now, even as I heard the final buzzer announce our victory, overwhelmed me with a sense of sickening déjà vu.
I didn’t have any words to share with the team after the game.
When Dawson tried to pull me aside for a chat, I brushed by him and retreated to the showers.
It was childish behavior, but taking a few moments to cool myself down was better than losing my shit in front of him and the entire team.
Tonight was supposed to help alleviate my stress, not make things worse.
I’d been looking forward to sixty minutes of pure distraction, especially since my study session with Grace on Thursday evening.
She hadn’t been herself since the phone call with her father.
The total shift in her demeanor had thrown me for a loop and I was desperate to know what the hell was going on inside her head.
I turned on the faucet and stepped under the blast of water before it could warm.
The cold was a shock to my system, one that I desperately needed.
Eventually, the water heated and my muscles relaxed.
I stayed there for a long time, allowing the locker room to slowly empty around me as I focused on the sensation of warm liquid running down my back.
There were only a few players loitering about when I finally switched off the shower and returned to my locker to change.
“Don’t even bother with Evans, you already know he’s staying in with Grace.”
My head shot up at the sound of her name, and I scanned the surrounding area. Kent and Bishop were hovering near the exit, doing their own sweep of the room.
“They’re getting a head count for tonight. They’ll be at the bars until the early morning, no doubt,” Bryce explained.
Saturday night home games always ended with a contingency of players posted up at one of the bars downtown.
“Are you going?” I asked.
“For a little bit, but I can’t be hungover all day tomorrow. I have a test on Monday that I need to study for.”
“Such an overachiever,” I said dryly.
“Yeah, well, it beats being a killjoy, which was your excuse before Grace came along.” Bryce smirked at me as he stood up and pulled on his winter coat. “Tell her I say hi, will you?”