Chapter 19 #3
His parting words were a reminder that I was planning to meet Grace tonight, and that she was bound to be back on campus by now.
The women’s home-game arena was about forty miles south, which meant their matches started earlier in the evening to make up for travel time.
Maybe if the game had gone well and Grace was in a good mood, she’d be willing to talk about whatever was going on with her sister.
I wanted her to feel like she could open up to me, and focusing on Grace helped me forget about how abysmal my future was looking.
With that thought in mind, I packed up the rest of my things and set off to find her.
Most likely, she’d be waiting for me near the main entrance of the arena.
As I stepped outside, I was assaulted by a brutal blast of freezing air.
Just another lovely day in the Midwest. Over the howl of the wind, someone shouted Grace’s name.
My eyes landed on her as a genuine smile broke out across her face—the first one I’d seen in days.
The sight lifted my spirits, but the feeling of warmth in my chest didn’t last, not as she was enveloped by a much larger male form.
My heart stalled at the blatant show of affection, only thumping back to life once he slowly set her back on the ground.
I recognized him immediately as number twenty-four from Boston College, the star of their team.
He reached up to cup her face, but Grace stepped away from his touch, putting a bit of distance between them.
It was a reassuring sight, but that didn’t stop the blood from rushing to my head as I stalked toward them, my feet moving faster than my brain.
“It’s so good to see you,” I heard him say, but before she could respond, I was wrapping my arms around her from behind.
I planted a kiss on her cheek, making sure to stare directly into the hockey player’s eyes as I did.
Grace glanced over her shoulder at me, cheeks flushed and mouth slightly parted.
“You smell good,” I said, pressing my face into her neck and taking a deep breath.
There was a long, awkward silence. Grace’s mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out. The player from Boston College stared at me with a furrowed brow and stony eyes.
“Sebastian, this is Matt,” she said, finally managing to speak.
My body went rigid at the sound of her ex’s name, and then a moment later, the dots connected. Boston College. It hadn’t even occurred to me that we were playing against Grace’s old school. The school her hockey-playing ex-boyfriend still attended.
Apparently Grace had a type, though I was objectively more handsome than the meathead standing in front of me.
“Hi, Matt, nice to meet you,” I said, knowing damn well we both knew that was far from the truth. “Tough loss, but you guys put up a good fight.”
Matt didn’t say anything. Instead, he glanced at Grace with a pained expression.
“I take it you two are together,” he said.
Grace’s smile turned into a grimace. I wanted nothing more than to enlighten him about our situation. I almost did, but she beat me to it.
“It’s complicated.”
Oh, I absolutely hated that answer. But I wasn’t going to say that in front of her ex-boyfriend.
“I meant to tell you,” she said, cringing at her own words. “I just . . .”
“Forgot?” he finished for her.
Matt was shifting back and forth on his feet. He looked miserable, one hand clasped across the back of his neck, the other hanging at his side, his fingers curled into a fist.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been caught up in family stuff and—”
“Don’t sweat it,” he interrupted, and the half-assed smile he offered did little to mask the pain etched into his face. “I should probably go.”
I realized with a sudden rush of dread that he was still in love with her. When Grace and I had talked about our exes, she’d assured me that they were just friends. Either he was in denial or she hadn’t been honest with me.
“Matt, can we talk in private?”
The plea in her tone made my stomach lurch, but it wasn’t enough to convince Matt. He shook his head, pivoted, and set off in the other direction.
“What the hell is going on?” I questioned, my earlier frustration at being benched swiftly rising back to the surface. Grace stared at the spot where Matt had stood moments before, tears in her eyes. It made me feel sick.
“I’m sorry,” she said, turning to face me. “I know that looked bad, but you have nothing to be worried about.” She was breathing heavily, her face twisted with guilt. I wanted to believe her, but something wasn’t right.
“I thought you two were just friends.”
“There is nothing going on between us. I broke up with him in May, and I haven’t seen him since I moved home.”
“He clearly still has feelings for you.”
Her silence told me everything I needed to know. Grace was well aware that Matt still loved her.
“You left that part out when we discussed our exes. And the fact that we would be playing each other this weekend. What if the roles were reversed, Grace? What if I spent my time texting Kate and meeting her for—”
“I haven’t seen him since we broke up.”
“It doesn’t matter!” I shouted, unable to hide the anger in my voice.
The outburst was a culmination of frustration from the game mixed with the feeling of being blindsided.
Had Grace been distant from me because she was stressed about her sister or because she was nervous for her reunion with Matt?
I shoved my hands into my pockets and let my head fall back to look up at the sky.
Don’t lose your shit, Sebastian. Don’t let her see how much this is fucking hurts.
“I’m sorry. Please believe me when I say there’s nothing more than friendship between us.
” Grace paused, her wide eyes glistening with unshed tears.
“The truth is I miss Matt. He was the only person I trusted in Boston, the only one who was patient enough to break down my walls. When you don’t have a lot of friends, it’s hard to let one go.
Especially when they haven’t done anything wrong.
I was the one who fell out of love with him. ”
I let the truth of her words seep into my skin, the reassurance in her tone slowly smothering the anger inside me. Grace was a lot of things—stubborn, fierce, and even scared—but she was not a liar. I could trust her. I just needed her to trust me.
“Why didn’t you tell me that he still had feelings for you?”
“He’s in Boston, and I’m here with you,” she said, as if it were that simple. “You are the only person I have feelings for.”
Grace rarely mentioned her time on the East Coast, and when she did, it was always hockey-related. She’d spent three years in Boston, and I knew nothing about that time in her life.
“Can you tell me more?” I asked, glancing back down at Grace. Her mouth fell open then closed a moment later like she didn’t know what to say.
“More about Matt, or more about how lousy I am at making friends?”
The corner of my mouth curved upward. “Both. Help me understand.”
Grace reached for my hand and led me in the direction of her apartment, talking in a low voice as we walked, the sound barely audible over the howling wind.
She explained how they’d met during welcome week and laughed through stories of Matt’s terrible attempts at impressing her.
He’d chased after her for over a year—a whole damn year—before she even considered going out with him.
And here I was, thinking she’d been stubborn for resisting my charm for a few weeks.
Though it was unsettling to know that Matt was her first big love, I was glad she could look back on it with happiness.
Grace didn’t stop talking when we arrived at her apartment. She led me into her room, sat down on her bed, and continued to share stories about the two of them and their time at Boston College. When she mentioned struggling to make friends, a sound of disbelief left my mouth.
“I don’t get it. You’re not shy.”
Not in the least.
“It’s not about being shy. It’s about being private and protecting myself.” Grace paused and looked down at her hands. “It takes me a while before I open up to people.”
“Well, you just opened up to me,” I said, trying to instill some confidence back into her.
Grace was always so sure of herself when it came to hockey, and school, and what she believed in. She knew what she wanted, and she went after it. She was a force to be reckoned with, but when it came to opening her heart, there was so much hesitation and fear inside of her.
“That’s why you have to believe me when I say there’s nothing to worry about when it comes to Matt.
He stuck around long enough to wear me down, but you?
” She shook her head like she was unable to find the right words.
“You made me hate you and then want you in what felt like seconds. I couldn’t stop myself from coming to you after winter break because you make me feel more than anyone ever has. ”
I’d needed to hear those words, but a small voice in the back of my mind warned me to proceed with caution.
Grace was still keeping things from me. Though she had every right to her privacy, especially with matters regarding her family, I wasn’t sure how long I could wander along in the dark.
Something was eating away at her. Over the last few days, I had seen the weariness in her eyes.
“Remember what I said?” I asked, cupping her face in my hands. “You can always be honest with me. Please, just be honest with me. That’s all I’m asking.”