Chapter Twenty-One Part of the Plan
JAYCE
Spring is finally starting to seem like spring.
The sun is high in the sky, even if the air hasn’t warmed up from it yet.
And the sounds of little kids cheering usually fills me with a shot of adrenaline similar to being on the ice…
but today, despite all these things — and right now, even facing an auditorium full of elementary schoolers losing their mind over me and the team — nothing can pull me out of my funk.
“All right, kids,” Jensen booms, stepping to the front of the small stage we’re standing on.
Zander, Carson, Wilder, and Owen are next to me.
We’re wearing our jerseys, surrounded by propped up hockey sticks and equipment and a big sign hanging over us with TEAMWORK in big, colorful letters. “Remind me, what did we learn today?”
“Teamwork makes the dream work!” The chorus of children’s voices fills the air.
I smile. I try to act as excited and pumped as the other guys. But it’s all fake. I’m not feeling it.
“That’s great!” Jensen exclaims. “You all have been awesome today. Now, the guys and I are going to hang around for autographs, pictures, and to hand out some jerseys. Who wants a jersey?”
All the kids scream, and the principal of the school steps forward and takes over for Jensen.
“Okay, kids, your teachers are going to have you all line up and you’ll be able to meet the Night Hawks…”
This type of visit is something we do a few times a year as part of the teams’ community outreach program. It’s usually a very rewarding experience. The kids always get so excited and it’s fun hanging out with them for a few hours.
Today, though, my head’s just not in it.
I just can’t stop thinking of Sutton.
“Hey,” I murmur to Carson, who’s standing right next to me. “I’m going to the bathroom quick, okay?”
Carson nods and replies, “No problem. It’ll take a bit for them to get the kids all organized. You’ve got time.”
Giving him a thumbs-up, I turn and slip off the stage and make my way to the nearest bathroom. Once inside, I cross to one of the sinks and turn on the cold water, splashing it onto my face.
Fuck, I need to get it together. It’s not like me to get so distracted, especially when on the job.
It’s been a week since that night when Sutton fell asleep in my arms. We’ve hardly seen each other since then.
She’s hard at work on her design and preparing for her presentation — a presentation which she’s crazy stressed about giving, as much as she tries to hide it.
I’ve been spending more time at the rink for practice, workouts, and general team-bonding as we get further into the season and closer to the Cup.
A small part of me wonders if I’m subconsciously avoiding Sutton, but I tell myself that’s not true.
Sure, I’ve never woken up holding someone before like that, and it’s throwing me off a little how content I was in that position, but I’m not some kid avoiding my secret crush.
I’m just fucking busy.
No, I’m overthinking things. She’s on my mind because she texted
me earlier today, that’s all.
Sutton: Hey, thanks for the chicken salad sandwich you left for me today. It really hit the spot :)
I was relieved to see that message, because it means she’s eating and not skipping all her meals when she gets caught up in her work. Clenching the sink with both my hands, I stretch my neck from side-to-side.
Come on, man. Pull yourself together. Get out there and put on a good show for the kids. I’ll get through the rest of today, push Sutton out of my head, and deal with our awkward distance once I get home.
My phone suddenly buzzes and I quickly pull it out, hoping for another text from Sutton.
Instead, it’s messages from Ryan.
Fuck, again? He’s been hounding me about my relationship with Sutton, making it clear he doesn’t buy the engagement.
This latest message is more of the same.
Ryan: You really think anyone believes this bullshit? You suddenly want to settle down? With a fucking Holloway? No one really believes you’re capable of landing someone like her.
I roll my eyes and don’t respond, but that doesn’t stop him.
Ryan: This is just proof that I deserve the company more than you. If you’re willing to stoop this low and play dirty, you shouldn’t have anything to do with running and maintaining our family’s legacy. You’re letting down the family.
God, he’s such a little prick.
Shoving my phone back into my pocket, I let out a frustrated huff as I push away from the sink. First Sutton, now Ryan. I can’t afford any more of these distractions!
At least my parents and grandfather have finally given me space since the engagement news broke. There’s some relief in that.
Turning for the door, I make my way back out to join the other guys and an auditorium full of shrieking kids, determined not to think about Sutton or my brother for the rest of the afternoon.
Later, as I’m stepping out of the school into the cold afternoon air, I’m hardly paying attention to what the other guys are saying or doing.
I do keep an eye on where I’m walking, though, avoiding slick ice spots on the sidewalk that haven’t melted fully yet in the April sunshine.
Winter hasn’t fully let go yet. The sun is out, bright enough to make me squint, but the air still carries that sharp bite that sneaks through my jacket.
The parking lot is quiet, since school is still in session, though we can hear the sounds of kids playing on the playground behind the large brick building.
Wilder comes to a sudden stop and stretches his arms above his head. “Damn, everything’s so tiny in those classrooms,” he chuckles. “Felt like I was bending in half the whole time just to fit anywhere.”
“No kidding,” Zander grins. “You know what else was tiny? The lunch portions. I’m starving. You guys want to go grab pizza?”
Jensen snorts. “Pizza? Coach would be so pissed if we eat anything other than boiled chicken.”
“Fuck, I’d kill for pizza,” Carson groans.
“Language,” Owen chides, glancing around. “We’re still in kid territory.”
“Sorry. Shit,” Carson replies, then slaps his mouth shut.
“Come on, man,” Wilder says to Jensen. “Coach doesn’t need to know. Haven’t we earned a tiny little treat? We’ve been working our asses off lately.”
Jensen releases a long breath, his shoulders sagging. “All right, let’s go.”
Excited, the other guys start heading for their cars, but I hesitate. Instead of going with them, maybe I should swing by the club. Get some release with a girl there, then I might not be so focused on Sutton…
My stomach churns at the mere thought of being with another woman, however. The mere idea has no real appeal to me anymore, which is not something I really want to dig deeper into right now.
“Yo, Jayce?” Owen calls, snapping me out of my thoughts. He’s gazing back at me with an arched brow while the other guys continue walking to their cars. “You good?”
Blinking, I nod. “Yeah, I am. I’m coming.”
Guess I’ll just get pizza.
We all drive to a place called Pizza Italiano, which has some of the best brickstone baked pizza in the city. After we’ve piled into a large corner booth and order several large pizzas, the guys start on their favorite topic of conversation—their women.
“How’s Stacey and the kids?” Jensen asks Owen from across the booth.
He grins. “They’re doing great. Stacey’s excited to get back to work in a few weeks, but she’s loving being home with the baby right now. Seeing her with a newborn… it’s just…damn…”
He trails off, a small glisten in his eyes as he thinks about his perfect little family. I sometimes forget that he missed out on the first few years of his daughter’s life, so being around for little Henry must mean a whole lot more to him.
Weird to think that we were at the club together not that long ago—him for drinks, me for fun—and now he’s a family man. So much has changed in such a short amount of time.
“Man, I can’t wait until our baby’s born,” Zander says, grabbing another slice of pizza. “Though, I have to say, Rylee’s been way more…um…let’s say eager for intimacy lately.”
Carson lets out a laugh. “You mean she’s horned up from pregnancy hormones and jumping your bones left and right?”
Zander’s cheeks go pink and he shyly grins. “More or less.”
Owen chuckles. “There are definitely some perks to pregnancy.”
Jensen looks at Carson with a curious grin. “How do you know about pregnancy hormones, Carson? Are you hiding a secret pregnancy or something?”
“Well, no, Skyler isn’t pregnant,” Carson laughs. “She’s working on this new game that’s adapting a graphic novel, and I don’t understand any of the computer wizardry she does, but she’s so excited about the project. She’s also insisting I read the whole series.”
“And?” Zander asks with an eager smile. “How do you like it? It’s awesome, right? Such a great read!”
“Honestly? It really fucking is.”
“Yeah, Grace was talking about Skyler’s game the other day,” Jensen nods. “Grace was putting together a list of potential media contacts for Skyler to bring in to help with promotion. If Grace’s work wasn’t so focused on sports, she’d have jumped at the chance to do it herself.”
“Do you ever think how our women could take over the world if they wanted to?” Carson asks with a smirk.
“Dude, they wouldn’t even break a sweat,” Zander agrees.
Suddenly, Wilder looks my way. “What about you, Vaughn?”
I blink, confused. “What about me?”
“You’re being pretty quiet,” he points out. “What about your lady?”
His gaze is unflinching as he watches me expectantly. He looks like he’s daring me to say something specific, but I don’t know what he’s digging for. Why’s he seem like he knows something I don’t?
“You’re being just as quiet as me.”
He folds his arm and arches a brow. “I don’t have a woman to brag about.”
Shrugging, I say, “I mean, yeah, Sutton’s great, but you all know we’re together because of a mutually beneficial agreement, nothing more. Wouldn’t make sense if I gushed over her like the rest of these whipped fools.”
Carson lets out a snort. “Riiight. You don’t have any feelings for her whatsoever. I totally buy that.”
I frown. “Like I said, she’s great, but our arrangement is strictly platonic.”
The guys all exchange looks with each other, none of them looking convinced.
“I mean, that proposal was pretty fucking epic,” Jensen shrugs. “And when we were at the bar, I saw you two dancing. You seemed pretty cozy.”
“Like really close,” Zander adds.
“You seemed to get along back at the wedding,” Wilder nods. “And then at Friendsmas, you gave her your jersey to wear.”
I gaze around at my friends and feel a flare of irritation that they’re acting like they know so much about Sutton and me.
They don’t understand what we’re trying to do.
How could they? They’ve all been sucked into the illusion of love and happily-ever-afters, not realizing most of their relationships are probably ticking time bombs.
Even when I glance at Jensen and Owen, hoping for some understanding given their own complex family histories, I’m just met with smiles.
Sutton and I are more practical. We know what we’re doing and we’re not letting feelings mess things up and get in the way of our goals.
It doesn’t matter that we’ve fucked and I’m wildly attracted to her. That she spent the night in my arms, and for the past week has been acting like nothing happened. Like it didn’t matter…
Shit, no! What am I thinking? I shouldn’t be bothered by that. It just shows she feels the same way as I do about our arrangement. That it’s all temporary, and when it’s done, we’ll go our separate ways. I’ll stay here in Denver, and she’ll go back to New York.
“So you’re really going to tell us there’s no feelings between you and Sutton?” Owen asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m saying…” My phone suddenly buzzes in my pocket, interrupting me. Thank fuck. I dig it out and see that it’s Grandfather. “Sorry, guys. I gotta take this.”
I climb out of the booth before any of the guys can say anything and hurry out of the restaurant to take the phone call on the sidewalk.
I nearly slip on a patch of ice, but manage to keep my balance and huddle against the side of the building to try and stay warm and find a little privacy on the busy walkway as I answer the call.
“Hey, Grandfather,” I say when I answer. “This is a nice surprise.”
It’s not really much of a surprise. He, Dad, and Ryan have been bombarding me with phone calls and messages lately.
Dad’s mostly been drilling me about how my marriage is going to help grow the company, while Grandfather’s just been gushing about how happy he is and how excited he is to meet Sutton.
“I just wanted to call and see what your upcoming game schedule looks like,” Grandfather says, his tone jovial.
“Oh, why’s that?” I usually just tell him a day or two before when a game’s happening so he can watch it on TV.
“I was thinking I should attend one in person,” he explains, surprising me.
“Really? That…that’s a good idea. I’d like that.”
“It’ll give me a chance to meet your lovely fiancee,” he goes on, and his desire to attend a game in person makes more sense now.
“Sutton would love to meet you too,” I reply, feeling a small twist in my gut at the thought that it’ll never happen.
There’s no reason for her to meet my family before we end this.
Not that I would want to drag anyone into that toxic mess, though if I was going to introduce her to anyone, it would be Grandfather.
Hallie as well. “I’ll send you the schedule and we can make arrangements. ”
“Wonderful! Well, I won’t keep you. Talk soon, my boy.”
I say goodbye, hang up the call, and stare down at my phone. The ironic part is that Grandfather really would love Sutton. She’d charm her way into his good graces with ease. She’d be a bright spot in my family, which wouldn’t be hard, but she’d still be a breath of fresh air.
Damn it. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Sutton won’t really be part of my family, and we’re not letting ourselves get caught up in unnecessary emotions and expectations.
That was our agreement. That was my plan.
So why is this all pissing me off so much?