9. Holly
9
HOLLY
The hospital atrium is a bustling hub of activity behind me, patients and visitors alike navigating the maze of hallways and waiting rooms. Outside, on the manicured lawn, the Chicago Blizzards are putting on a clinic for a group of young fans.
I stand at the window, watching the five men interact with the kids—Ryan Connors, Liam Callahan, Tyler Jenkins, Alex Mason, and of course Ethan Carter. It’s surprising to see Ethan with natural charisma shining through as he high-fives the kids, dishing out pointers as they set out to play a few one-on-one games.
He had a sour look on his face during the drive here, clearly not thrilled about the event. But now, as he passes a small puck around with the kids on the grass, there’s a faint smile on his lips. The laughter of the children floats up to the window, light and carefree, mixing with the sound of their playful shouts.
I cross my arms, leaning against the window frame as I take in the scene. Ethan’s not the kind of guy who usually smiles, especially not when he’s forced into something he doesn’t want to do. Yet here he is, interacting with these kids, and for a moment, he looks content.
The Ice King, melting just a little under the warmth of their joy? Not to be jealous, but I wish he’d smile at me like that.
“He’s doing better than I expected,” Lauren’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
I glance at her, then back at Ethan. “Yeah, he is.”
“Not that you doubted yourself, right?” Lauren teases, nudging me with her elbow.
I smile, though it feels a bit forced. “I just wasn’t sure how he’d handle this. Kids are a tough bunch, especially for someone like him.”
Lauren’s gaze follows mine, landing on the group of men and kids outside. “You did good, Holly. Day one of the event is a success. Everyone’s pulling their weight, and that’s thanks to you.”
I let out a small laugh. “I don’t know about that. I just had to convince a few stubborn egos to cooperate.”
Lauren raises an eyebrow. “And how did you do that, exactly?”
“Experience,” I say with a shrug. “I’ve worked with enough celebrities to know how to handle them. You just have to figure out what makes them tick.”
“You’re right,” Lauren nods.
“What do you think makes these guys tick?” I ask, genuinely curious.
We glance down at the group again, letting our eyes linger on each of the men.
“Ryan Connors is all about legacy. He’s focused, driven by something—someone—he’s trying to surpass. He’s got that intensity that pushes him to be better, to leave his mark.”
“You seem to know a lot about him in particular?”
Lauren hums in agreement, then looks up and sees the teasing smile on my face. “No, no, Holly. It’s just, we’re a bit close but it’s all platonic.”
“Yeah,” I grin. “I was just agreeing with you that he’s definitely got that aura of someone with something to prove.”
“Liam Callahan,” she continues, “is the best young player on the team. Confident on the outside, but underneath all that bravado, he’s still a young man trying to find his place, dealing with insecurities. He’s got a lot of potential, but he’s not quite there yet.”
“You think he’s under pressure?”
Lauren nods. “He’s got a lot of eyes on him. That can be a lot of pressure for someone his age.”
“And then there’s Ethan Carter,” I say, my voice softening as I watch him lift a kid into his arms, spinning him around. The kid’s laughter rings out, and Ethan’s smile widens, just a fraction, but it’s enough to make my heart clench. “He’s ... complicated.”
Lauren chuckles. “Isn’t that the understatement of the year?”
I laugh along with her, but there’s a heaviness in my chest. “He’s jaded, traumatized, but there’s something good under all that ice. I just don’t know if it’s real or if it’s just another facade.”
Lauren follows my gaze, her expression thoughtful. “Now that’s one you know a lot about.”
“He’s my roommate after all?” I lift an eyebrow.
Lauren chuckles. “He’s been through a lot. Losing his brother like that ... it changes a person.”
“I know,” I say quietly. “But I can’t help but wonder if that good side is real or fake. I’ve seen it before—someone who can turn on the charm when it suits them, but underneath, they’re someone completely different.”
“Jake?” Lauren asks, her voice gentle.
I nod, the memory of Jake’s two-faced nature still fresh in my mind. “He’d be irritable, angry, completely uninterested in doing anything for charity. But as soon as the cameras were on him, he’d act like he was the most benevolent man on earth. It was all an act, and I fell for it.”
“Ethan’s not Jake,” Lauren says firmly. “He’s not that kind of guy.”
“I want to believe that,” I admit. “But I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t trust who a man is in front of people who are out to judge him. Especially when it comes to things like this.”
Lauren reaches out, placing a comforting hand on my arm. “You’ve got good instincts, Holly. Trust them. You’ll figure out what’s real and what’s not.”
I nod, but the doubt lingers. I’m so confused about Ethan, about my feelings for him. The kiss in the locker room threw everything off balance. I called him a coward, but maybe he was right. Maybe staying away from him is the best thing for both of us.
The past week has been a blur of planning and meetings. I’ve barely seen Ethan, and when I have, we’ve kept things strictly professional. But that kiss ... it’s been haunting me. The way he touched me, the way he looked at me, it was intense, raw, and it left me wanting more, even though I know I shouldn’t.
“I can see the gears turning in your head,” Lauren says, breaking into my thoughts. “What’s going on in there?”
I sigh, crossing my arms tighter around myself. “Just thinking.”
“About Ethan?” she guesses.
“Yeah,” I admit. “I don’t know what to make of him. One minute, he’s pushing me away, the next, he’s ... I don’t know.”
Lauren gives me a sympathetic look. “He’s been through a lot, Holly. But he’s not a bad guy. He’s just guarded.”
“I know,” I say. “But that doesn’t make it any easier.”
We fall into a comfortable silence, both of us watching the scene below. The kids are having a blast, and the players are doing their best to keep up with their energy. It’s a good start to the event, and I can’t help but feel a sense of pride in how it’s all coming together.
But even as I focus on the success of the day, my thoughts keep drifting back to Ethan. He’s the one who’s got me tied up in knots, the one who makes me question everything I thought I knew about myself, about relationships, about trust.
The way he’s interacting with the kids, so genuine and unguarded, it’s hard to reconcile that with the man who’s been so closed off, so distant. I want to believe that this is the real Ethan, that the man who’s laughing with the kids is the same one who kissed me with such intensity in the locker room.
But I can’t shake the fear that it’s all an act, that when the cameras are off and the kids are gone, he’ll retreat back into that cold, impenetrable shell. That he’ll shut me out just like Jake did, leaving me feeling used and discarded.
I take a deep breath, trying to steady my thoughts. I need to focus on the event, on making sure everything goes smoothly. But it’s hard when my mind keeps wandering back to him, to the way he makes me feel—both exhilarated and terrified at the same time.
As the event winds down, the players start to gather the kids for a group photo. Ethan lifts one of the smaller kids onto his shoulders, making the boy laugh with delight. The sight makes my heart swell, and I can’t help but smile. He seems a good man underneath all that baggage, but it’s hard to let go of the fear, the doubt, the memories of the past that keep resurfacing, reminding me of how badly things can go wrong.
Trusting someone again, especially someone like Ethan, feels like walking a tightrope without a safety net. I did it once with Jake and I was burned—badly.
An hour later, I find myself walking alongside Ryan Connors, the team captain, as he helps me and my team finish setting up the area for the hospital’s meet-and-greet and signing event. Ryan’s in high spirits, teasing me relentlessly, his questions firing off one after the other like he’s on some kind of mission.
A mission that I’d bet has a lot to do with Lauren.
“So, Holly,” he says, a mischievous grin on his face, “how close are you and Lauren, really?”
I was right. Took him about five questions to get to the reason why he approached me.
I roll my eyes but can’t help the smile tugging at my lips. “We’re good friends. Why? You interested in her or something?”
He lets out a bark of laughter. “Me? Interested in Lauren? No way. I’m just trying to figure out her weakness so I can pay her back for that prank she pulled on me.”
I raise an eyebrow, intrigued. “Oh? What did she do?”
He groans, running a hand through his hair. “She swapped out my protein powder for powdered milk. I didn’t realize until I was halfway through a workout and started feeling ...weird. It was so embarrassing.”
I burst out laughing, picturing the scene. “That’s brilliant! I’m not sure if I should be helping you find her weakness or joining her to prank you. The second sounds more fun.”
Ryan narrows his eyes at me, but there’s a playful glint there. “You wouldn’t dare. Besides, you’re supposed to be on my side. We’re the good guys here, remember?”
I laugh, shaking my head. “I don’t know, Ryan. You seem to be doing just fine on your own. Besides, I like Lauren’s style. She knows how to keep you on your toes.”
He chuckles, giving me a mock serious look. “You’re dangerous, Holly Bennett. I’ll have to keep an eye on you.”
“Same goes for you,” I retort, nudging him playfully. “But seriously, if you’re so curious about Lauren, why don’t you just ask her out?”
Ryan’s expression falters for a split second before he recovers with a grin. “Who says I haven’t?”
“Oh, really?” I challenge, arching a brow. “And how did that go?”
He shrugs, trying to play it cool. “Let’s just say she’s a tough nut to crack. But I’m not giving up that easily.”
“Well, good luck,” I say, my tone genuine. “You’ll need it.”
Before Ryan can reply, something catches my eye—Ethan. It’s a rare glimpse of him since he disappeared after playing with the kids. He’s standing by a wall of photographs, his posture tense, his face an unreadable mask. But there’s something vulnerable in the way he’s staring at those pictures, something that tugs at my heart.
I nudge Ryan, nodding toward Ethan. “What’s up with him?”
Ryan’s expression softens as he follows my gaze. “He’s looking at old photos of David.”
“David?” I ask, frowning slightly.
Ryan nods, his voice lowering. “Ethan’s brother. David used to work here, at this hospital. He was leading a physical therapy program, helping accident victims. There’s a wall dedicated to him, honoring his work.”
I swallow hard, suddenly feeling a pang of guilt. No wonder Ethan’s been so cold and distant today. This place must be a painful reminder of his brother, and here I am, dragging him into this event without realizing what it would mean for him.
My eyes are glued to Ethan after that, watching his every move as he forces a smile, takes pictures with fans, and signs jerseys, caps, and other memorabilia. It’s hard to reconcile this image of him—engaged, friendly, seemingly at ease—with the man who’s clearly carrying so much pain inside.
I wonder how hard it must be for him to smile like that when everything around him is a constant reminder of what he’s lost. I start to feel like maybe I’ve pushed him too much. Maybe he was right all along—maybe I should have just left him alone.
The guilt gnaws at me, making it impossible to focus on anything else. I avoid Ethan as much as I can after that, too ashamed to face him. When the event finally wraps up, I’m packing up the last of the supplies when I trip over a cord. Before I can hit the ground, a strong hand grabs me, pulling me back to my feet.
I look up, and my breath catches in my throat. It’s Ethan. His eyes lock onto mine, and for a moment, the world around us fades away. All I can think about is how close he is, how his touch sends a shock wave of heat through my body.
This is real. I now know my attraction to him isn’t just some fleeting crush or a response to his physical appearance. It’s deeper than that, more intense. And that terrifies me.
“Holly,” he says, his voice low, almost a whisper. “You, okay?”
“Y-yeah,” I stammer, pulling away from him, though every fiber of my being wants to stay in his arms. “Thanks for ... catching me.”
He nods, but his eyes don’t leave mine. There’s something in his gaze, something that makes me feel like he’s searching for answers he can’t find. It’s unsettling, but also thrilling.
“Wanna come home with me,” he says, his tone more of a statement than a question. “I’m driving.”
I blink, taken aback by the directness of his request. “I can’t,” I reply, my voice barely above a whisper. “I promised Lauren I’d help out at Mia’s café. She needs help cleaning up after the catering.”
Ethan’s expression shifts, a mix of frustration and something I can’t quite place. “Right. Well, see you later then.”
I nod, feeling a strange mix of disappointment and relief. “Later.”
With that, he steps back, letting me go. As I watch him walk away, a million confusing emotions swirl inside me.
On the ride to Mia’s café, Lauren and Mia chatter away in the front seats, excitedly discussing the success of the event. I should be joining in, celebrating the fact that everything went off without a hitch, but instead, I’m quiet, lost in my own thoughts.
“Holly, are you okay?” Mia asks, glancing back at me through the rear-view mirror.
I force a smile, nodding. “Yeah, I’m just tired. It was a long day.”
Lauren shoots me a knowing look. “Are you sure that’s all it is? You’ve been quiet ever since we left the hospital.”
I shrug, trying to play it off. “Just a lot on my mind, that’s all.”
Mia and Lauren exchange a glance, but thankfully, they don’t press the issue. As we pull up to the café, I can’t help but wonder if I’m making a mistake by keeping all of this to myself. But how can I explain what I’m feeling when I don’t even understand it?