10. Ethan
10
ETHAN
I wake up to the soft light of dawn filtering through the blinds. My body aches slightly, the result of yesterday’s training session, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. What’s really bothering me is the tension coiled tight in my chest, the kind that doesn’t come from physical exertion. It’s been gnawing at me for days, and I know exactly what—or rather, who—is the cause.
I push myself out of bed, rubbing a hand over my face to clear the remnants of sleep. My phone buzzes on the nightstand, and I reach for it, seeing Ryan’s name on the screen.
“Hey,” I answer, my voice rough from sleep.
“Morning, sunshine,” Ryan’s voice is annoyingly chipper. “You coming to the gym? We’ve got a lot to go over.”
I hesitate, glancing at the clock. Normally, I’d be there already, but today... “I think I’ll stay home this morning.”
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. “Wait, what? You, skipping the gym? Is the world ending?”
I roll my eyes, though I know he can’t see it. “I just need to stay home, that’s all.”
Ryan’s voice is full of suspicion. “What’s going on, Ethan? You’re not one to skip out on training. Is something up?”
I sigh, knowing I can’t dodge his questions forever. “I need to talk to my housemate.”
“Your housemate?” Ryan’s tone is incredulous. “Since when do you have a housemate?”
“It’s been two weeks,” I say, walking upstairs through the house, looking for any sign of Holly. “She’s the new event manager.”
“Holly Bennett?” Ryan’s voice takes on a different tone—one that’s both curious and a bit amused. “Wait, Holly Bennett is your housemate? How did I miss this?”
I don’t bother answering as I check the kitchen, the living room, and then head to the hallway. But there’s nothing. Just the familiar quiet of the house. She’s gone again.
“Yeah, she’s been staying here,” I mumble into the phone, more to myself than to Ryan. “Apparently she needed a place to stay so Lauren offered her my empty place upstairs.”
“That’s David’s space,” Ryan gasps. “You never let anyone in there.”
“I do now, but I doubt she stays there that much,” I grunt.
“What do you mean?”
“She’s not here now. She rarely is these days.”
“So, let me get this straight,” Ryan says, his voice taking on a teasing edge. “You’re skipping the gym to talk to your housemate, who’s also the new event manager, who is not home, and you’re disappointed?”
“Shut up, Ryan,” I mutter, but the irritation in my voice is more directed at myself than at him.
“Seriously, man, what’s going on?” Ryan’s tone shifts to something more serious. “Is everything okay?”
I hesitate, the words sticking in my throat. It’s been six days since that fight in the locker room, six days of Holly avoiding me at every turn. She’s been coming home late, leaving early, and barely giving me more than a few words when we do cross paths. And every time I try to talk to her, she brushes me off like I’m not even there.
“She’s avoiding me,” I finally admit, my voice low.
“Why?” Ryan asks, genuinely curious.
“I don’t know,” I say, running a hand through my hair in frustration. “I mean, I have an idea, but she won’t even give me the chance to talk to her.”
Ryan hums thoughtfully. “So, what’s the plan? You gonna keep chasing after her?”
“I’m not chasing after her,” I snap, but the words feel hollow, even to me.
“Sure sounds like it,” Ryan retorts, but there’s no malice in his voice, just that infuriating sense of understanding that only comes from knowing someone too well.
I walk back into the kitchen, feeling the weight of my own confusion pressing down on me. Holly’s made breakfast again, as usual—scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, and whole-grain toast. It’s exactly the kind of meal someone in my profession would have, and I can’t help but wonder if she asked Lauren about it. She’s doing everything she can to take care of the practical stuff, everything except actually seeing me.
I pick up the note she’s left beside the plate. It’s short, to the point, like all the others she’s left this week.
“Ethan, we’re out of milk.
I’ll pick some up later.
I’ve got an event today, so don’t wait up.”
—Holly
Ryan’s still on the phone, reading off some of his captaincy plans, but I’m barely listening. “I’ll call you back,” I say abruptly, ending the call before he can finish his protest.
I stare at the note for a long moment, feeling the frustration bubble up inside me. It’s ridiculous, how much I’ve started to rely on these scraps of paper just to know what’s going on with her. I drop the note back on the counter, my appetite gone.
I make my way to the coffee machine, the need for caffeine pulling me from my thoughts. I grab the first mug I see—David’s favorite blue one. My hand freezes as I stare at it, memories flooding back. It’s been two years, but sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday that he was sitting across from me, grinning like an idiot, talking about his latest adventures at the hospital.
In my mind, I can see him there, sitting at the kitchen table, holding this very mug, a teasing grin on his face as he sips his coffee.
“Come on, Ethan,” David would say, his voice full of that infectious enthusiasm he always had. “You need to lighten up. Life’s too short to be so damn serious all the time.”
I can almost hear his laughter, and see the way his eyes would crinkle at the corners. But the memory twists in my gut, a sharp reminder of everything that’s been lost. If David were here, he’d probably tell me to send the money to Uncle Frank’s family, to take care of them like he always wanted.
But I’m not David.
And I’m so damn tired of pandering to people who never gave a damn about us in the first place.
I shake my head, pushing the memory away as I set the mug down. The sadness that settles over me is heavy, a familiar weight that I’ve carried for too long. I need to get out of here, to clear my head, to do something that’ll stop the thoughts from spiraling any further.
I grab my gym bag and head out the door, determined to sweat this out. The drive to the gym is quick, and I’m on the treadmill in minutes, pushing myself hard, trying to outrun the ghosts that cling to me.
The steady rhythm of my feet hitting the treadmill is comforting, the burn in my muscles grounding me. But my mind keeps drifting back to Holly, to how she’s been slipping away from me. I can’t ignore it, can’t pretend it doesn’t matter, because it does. More than I want to admit.
Ryan walks in a few minutes later, surprised to see me. “Well, well, look who decided to show up,” he teases, dropping his bag on the floor.
I grunt in response, focusing on my pace.
He hops onto the treadmill next to mine, glancing over at me. “So, you’re here. What happened to staying home?”
“Changed my mind,” I say shortly, not in the mood for a deep dive into my emotional turmoil.
Ryan doesn’t buy it for a second. “So, what’s really going on, Ethan? Don’t tell me you’re here because you missed me.”
I huff, adjusting the incline on the treadmill. “You wish. No, I’m here because I needed to get out of the house.”
“Is your pretty housemate that annoying?” he asks with a smirk.
I shoot him a glare. “You have no idea.”
Ryan chuckles, shaking his head. “Man, you’re more invested in this than you’re letting on. You’re usually great at ignoring things that bother you. So why can’t you ignore Holly?”
I don’t answer right away, the question hanging in the air between us. “I owe her an apology,” I finally admit. “But she won’t let me get close enough to give it.”
Ryan’s silent for a moment, then he nods. “Fair enough. Apologies are important. But you’ve got to figure out how to get past whatever’s stopping her from listening to you.”
I grunt, increasing my speed as I try to work off the frustration. “Yeah, easier said than done.”
Ryan glances over, a knowing look in his eyes. “Tell you what—help me with these captaincy plans, and I’ll help you with your housemate troubles. No one knows women better than me.”
I roll my eyes, but there’s a small smile tugging at my lips. “You’re full of it, you know that?”
“Hey, I’ve got a pretty good track record,” Ryan says with a grin. “You’re desperate, and I’m offering help. It’s a win-win.”
“Fine,” I grumble, knowing I don’t have many other options. “Deal.”
As we continue to run, Liam joins us, hopping onto the treadmill on my other side. He’s all energy and youthful enthusiasm, a sharp contrast to the storm brewing inside me.
“Hey, what’s up, guys?” Liam asks, easily falling into stride with us.
“Just talking about our next opponent,” Ryan replies, nodding toward me. “And apparently, Ethan here is having some woman trouble.”
Liam’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Ethan? Woman trouble? No way.”
I groan, shaking my head. “It’s not what you think.”
But Ryan just laughs, clearly enjoying the situation. “Yeah, he’s all tied up in knots over his housemate.”
Liam looks between us, then back at me, a grin spreading across his face. “Man, I never thought I’d see the day.”
“Shut up,” I mutter, trying to ignore the heat rising to my cheeks. “It’s not like that.”
Ryan pats my shoulder with a smirk. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you sorted out. You just focus on the workout.”
I roll my eyes, but there’s a small part of me that’s grateful for their banter. Ryan and Liam have been my closest friends for years now, Liam more recently, but his youthful exuberance and Ryan goofiness help me keep things in perspective.
I’m grateful for it at times like this.
Even as I try to focus on the workout, my thoughts keep drifting back to Holly, to the way she’s been slipping through my fingers. I’ve gotten used to being on my own; then with Holly waltzing into my life, I started to get attached to not being alone in the house.
I miss her a lot these days, and I know that’s about much more than her being a housemate.