3. Chance #3
“You can play with your own parts,” she shot back, but I could hear the amusement in her voice.
“I’ve been playing with my own parts for a long time. I think it’s time I shared.”
“Let’s not pretend that you haven’t been sharing your parts with anyone that caught your eye.”
“Humanitarian aid doesn’t count,” I scoffed.
She laughed and then hissed in pain. “Now I kind of wish we’d run into one of your exes,” she said as I started up the stairs. “I’d tell them you said that.”
“I don’t have exes,” I argued. “I had sexual partners, not relationships.”
“None?”
“Why bother?” I asked as I brought her down the hall and opened the door to my rooms. “None of them were my mate.”
“I can’t tell if that’s really selfish or really kind.”
“Can’t it be both?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I wasn’t interested in creating a false relationship that I’d forget about the instant I met you,” I explained. “That wouldn’t be fair to them.”
“Okay.”
“They knew exactly what they were getting,” I continued as I carried her into my room. Someone, probably my mother, had changed the bedding and thrown my dirty clothes in the hamper. “Orgasms,” I whispered into Rena’s ear as I carefully set her on the bed. “As many as they wanted.”
“I think you think that you’re being sexy right now,” she whispered back. “But the thought of you with someone else just makes me want to scratch your face off.”
I chuckled as I leaned over to pull the blankets down. “Mating heat is fun, right?”
“Oh, yeah. I love feeling completely deranged,” she said as she carefully scooted onto the sheets.
“If it helps, I’ll never be able to touch another woman again.”
“You what?”
“I have a mate now,” I explained, helping her to lie down. “Once you came into the picture, it was all over for me.”
“Even if I’m gone?”
“Even then.”
“Could I?”
“Touch another woman? I’m sure you could, if you weren’t sexually attracted to her.”
“What about a man?”
A wave of heat rolled over me with such force that I had to clench my jaw to hold back a groan of pain.
“I’m not sure,” I wheezed, straightening. “Maybe someday.”
“But Beau had other partners, right?” she asked, shifting carefully. “After the first mate, but before Reese?”
“I have no idea who or if my brothers are fucking people,” I replied, shaking my head. “Not something we discuss.”
“Well, it seems like pertinent information.” She sighed.
“Not for me,” I argued, reaching down to pull off my socks. “It’ll be you or no one.”
“Unless you meet my soul in the next body?” Rena said quietly. “That’s how it works, right?”
I nearly fell to my knees at the sharp pain in my chest. The words seemed to echo in my head over and over, and I couldn’t get the scenario out of my mind. We hadn’t even completed the bond yet, and already the idea of living without her was completely abhorrent.
“Can we change the subject?” I rounded the bed, turning off the light as I passed the switch.
“If we can’t talk about anything, then I’m not sure how you think this will work,” she muttered.
“I have no interest in talking about your death,” I snapped, grabbing a throw blanket off the foot of the bed. “If that’s a problem for you, deal with it.”
“Don’t talk to me like that.”
“Stop bringing up stupid shit.”
“Are you fucking kidding right now?” she exploded, her head whipping in my direction.
I wanted to dial it back. I knew I needed to. I wasn’t doing myself any favors by arguing with her and being an asshole.
But I’d thought she was dead when I’d pulled her out of that car.
The loss of her was already fresh in my mind.
It wasn’t some idea of the far-off future.
I’d thought I was living that loss. I had waited a hundred years for her.
A hundred years of loneliness, a hundred years of impatience, a hundred years of searching every face in a crowd without any idea of who I was looking for.
The fact that she was so cavalier about her soul and what would happen after she was gone was repugnant.
“I don’t think you understand?—”
“That you’re a colossal dick? I think I’m getting the picture,” she cut in.
“Call me whatever names you want,” I argued, grabbing a pillow.
“I carried you unconscious from a wreck that should’ve killed you today.
If I’m a dick for asking you to stop talking about your death as if it doesn’t matter, then, yeah, I’m a colossal dick.
But, fuck you for being so godsdamn cavalier about a bond that I’ve waited two human lifetimes for. ”
Tossing the pillow onto the floor, I lay down on the floor and stared at the ceiling. The throw blanket was way too small and only reached my knees.
I’d never really imagined what finding my mate would look like.
It had all just felt like some blurry scenario sometime in the future.
I knew that if I waited long enough, I’d find her.
But, in a million years, I would’ve never envisioned how the day had gone.
Of course, I’d found a mate who knew just enough about the mating bond to use the knowledge in an argument, but not enough to realize what a fucking miracle it was.