4. Rena
Rena
“You don’t have to sleep on the floor,” I said after a few moments of silence. My side was throbbing, and my head felt foggy, but both of those things were eclipsed by the heat that felt like it was running through my bloodstream.
I’d heard plenty about mating heat, in vague terms from my mother, who hadn’t known much about it, and from Reese, who had detailed some of her symptoms at length.
But for some reason, I hadn’t realized that the heat actually warmed your body.
It reminded me of a time when I’d been stuck in a hot tub, like I was being boiled from the inside.
Chance threw the pillow onto the bed and then rose from the floor like a specter in the darkness. He didn’t say a word as he pulled off his shirt, threw the blankets back, and climbed in beside me.
I wanted to tell him to stop pouting, but there was something about the way he held himself that told me he wasn’t angry. There was a weariness about his movements, an almost bleak acceptance.
We lay there silently in the dark for a long time while I listened to his steady breathing. I couldn’t tell if his eyes were open or not, but he wasn’t asleep. The space between us felt too close and a million miles apart at the same time, and I wasn’t sure how to breach it.
I might’ve been hesitant to tie my life to his for all of eternity, but the Vampire had saved me.
I couldn’t remember the accident or why it had happened, but I did remember his face flashing above me when I’d regained consciousness in that room.
He’d stood next to me the entire time, whispering that I’d be okay, that I was safe, not to worry.
“I won’t talk about dying anymore,” I said finally, unable to bear the silence.
“I’m not a monster,” he replied. “I understand why you want time to decide whether or not to accept the bond. You don’t know me, and it’s a huge fucking decision.”
“I don’t think you’re a monster.”
“No, you think I’m a colossal asshole.”
“You were acting like one.”
“Yeah, well, you weren’t acting any better.”
“Two wrongs make a right?”
“I told you I’m not gonna be a fucking doormat.”
“I don’t want you to be a doormat.”
“Thing is…” He paused and let out a huff of self-deprecating laughter.
“I probably would be, for you. All this is different for me. You’re the answer to a lifetime of searching.
The rainbow at the end of a storm. All that gooey mushy shit.
The bond is scary for you—an unknown. It’s the opposite for me. ”
My mind raced. He was so…forthcoming. It was hard to armor myself against it.
Having a partner who was all in and dedicated to creating a lasting relationship was all I’d ever wanted.
In theory, this was the best possible scenario.
Chance was everything I thought he’d be from what I’d heard, but it was getting easier to see why his family gave him so much grace.
He was an ass, yes. But if I were honest, so was I.
If I hadn’t gone to the doctor last week, I probably could’ve convinced myself to jump in with both feet the way Reese had with Beau.
For kids who came out of the foster system, stepping into a family that welcomed us with open arms, a community that would last forever, and a devoted partner that was physically unable to leave…
well, that was the dream for us. There was literally nothing we’d wanted more as we’d been shuffled from place to place.
Chance let out a quiet sigh when I didn’t reply.
“Last week, I was artificially inseminated,” I said finally, deciding it was best to just lay it out and let the chips fall.
“You were what?” he asked, his words slow, like he couldn’t quite believe what he’d heard.
“I’m getting older,” I explained, my heart pounding. “I hadn’t found someone that I wanted to make a life with, but I do want kids. I want a houseful of kids, actually.” I swallowed. “So I chose some sperm and got artificially inseminated.”
Chance was absolutely silent. I couldn’t even hear him breathing.
“You couldn’t have waited a week?” he finally asked.
I couldn’t hide the scoff that fell out of my mouth, and I wheezed in pain as I tried to stop my laughter. He’d sounded so comically offended, but not by me. He was offended that the universe had introduced us after I’d made such a colossal decision on my own.
“You couldn’t have come home at least once while I was at your house?” I shot back, carefully turning onto my uninjured side to face him. “I mean, what was that about?”
“You know, Reese asked if Danny or I had found our mates yet,” he grumbled. “Trying to set you up. I should’ve thrown my hat into the ring.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He turned his head to look at me. “Because I only have sexual partners, and I didn’t want to fuck you and bail. It would’ve made family dinners seriously uncomfortable.”
“Solid reasoning,” I replied.
“I probably should’ve at least made a point to meet you,” he said, giving his head a shake. “Ambrose found Lucy because of Charlie. Beau met Reese at the blood bank. Danny found Rosemary in a fucking garage. I should’ve known that I’d find my mate close to home. The signs were all there.”
“So you see why I can’t commit to the bond, right?” I asked. “If the insemination worked…”
“You’ll have a human baby.”
“A mortal human baby,” I whispered. “I don’t want to outlive my child. My grandparents lived with that, and it nearly broke them.”
“I’m going to hold you now,” he announced, scooting across the bed. He curled one arm under his head and reached out with his other hand, wrapping it around the side of my neck, his thumb lightly brushing the skin below my chin. “I’d wrap you up better, but I don’t want to hurt your side.”
“Your hands are cold.” I closed my eyes and relished the sensation against my neck. I grabbed his forearm and held it so he wouldn’t pull away.
“Feel good?” he murmured. I held back a shiver at the rumble in his voice.
“Yeah.”
“Imagine how good the sex will be,” he said.
I opened my eyes to find him smiling at me in the dark.
“Your sex comes with strings,” I replied, rolling my eyes.
He glanced down toward his crotch. “I’ve never seen any strings. Do human males have strings?”
My lips twitched as I tried to hold back a smile.
“I’m a stage-five clinger,” he said, like it was a confession.
“You should work on that.”
“Nah.” The tips of his fingers ran along the tip of my ear. “I’m cool with it.”
“Of course you are.”
“Give it a couple of days,” he said, his hand still lightly tracing over my skin. “You’ll be a stage-five clinger too.”
“Never.”
“It’s going to be fun to watch.”
“Won’t happen,” I argued without any heat.
His features were so chiseled that he looked like the inspiration for an art museum statue.
Above his neatly trimmed beard were high cheekbones, a straight nose with a small bump on the bridge like it had been broken at some point, and deep-set eyes the color of forget-me-not blooms. Classically handsome, but with an edge to it.
Like, you wouldn’t want to piss him off, but you knew he’d put you through the mattress.
I wasn’t concerned for a moment about pissing him off, though.
He gave as good as he got, but he wasn’t scary—at least to me.
If there was one thing I knew about the Boucher brothers and the parents who raised them, it was that they’d never hurt anyone weaker than them, which was most of the species on the planet.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“What? Nothing.”
“That’s not what your face is saying,” he needled. “I think I counted about ten different expressions.”
“I was just thinking about how pretty you are,” I replied, pursing my lips.
“Well, thank you,” he said, his teeth flashing as he smiled. “You’re pretty too.”
“I know.”
He laughed lightly.
I moved to tuck my hand under my face and completely forgot that I still had an IV. Hissing in pain, I cursed.
“Careful,” he said tenderly. Bending a little, he looked it over and then gently set it back on the bed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to take it out in case you needed it again for antibiotics or pain relief.”
“It’s okay. I just forgot it was there.”
“How are you feeling? I can run down and get you some more pain medication if you need it.”
“I’m fine.”
“You sure?” He grimaced. “Shit. You haven’t eaten all day. You must be starving.”
He moved to get up but froze when I tightened my free hand around his forearm.
“I’m not hungry.”
“I can grab something easy. You like yogurt? What flavor?”
My stomach churned. “Really, I’m not hungry.”
“How are you not hungry?”
“Well, I got stabbed and hit my head this morning, and that was before the mating heat started burning me from the inside out,” I replied dryly. “I think it may have ruined my appetite.”
“Poor baby,” he said, relaxing back into the bed.
“I know. I’m a pathetic creature at the moment.”
“You’re going to be sore as fuck tomorrow.”
“I’m sore as fuck today,” I countered.
“Yeah, but I’m guessing it’s localized right now. Tomorrow is when all the bruises will make themselves known.”
“Oh, joy. Something to look forward to.”
“You ever been in a car accident before?”
“Nope, first one. You?”
“A few,” he replied, twirling a strand of my hair around his fingers. “The safety features are pretty solid in cars now. That wasn’t always the case.”
“Oh shit,” I said in understanding.
“I’ve always liked shit that goes fast,” he said with a boyish smile. “And if it didn’t go fast enough from the factory, I was pretty good at tinkering with things until it did.”
“Your mom must’ve loved that.”
“She wasn’t a fan.”
“You don’t say?”
He laughed. “With five boys, she learned to live with it. It was pretty much a competition to see who could do the stupidest shit.”
“Your poor mom.” I barely got the last word out before yawning wide. The feeling of his hand in my hair had begun to make my eyes droop.
“Sleep, mate,” he said, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. “I’ll tell you about all the things I did to piss off my mother in the morning.”