Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Mac wanted to throw the necklace away. In the tortured days that followed, right up to the morning Tess was scheduled to leave, he tried to make himself pitch it in the garbage, in the river, over a cliff. He couldn’t do it.
The day she left, he drove to a bluff overlooking the highway winding out of town and waited there until he saw her car go by.
He thought he’d fling the necklace over the bluff once he knew she was really and truly gone.
But long after her car and trailer had disappeared from sight, he still clutched the necklace tight in his fist.
In the weeks that followed he kept the necklace in a drawer and fell into the habit of tucking it into his jeans’ pocket before starting the day.
He’d meant for her to keep it on as a reminder of him and what they’d meant to each other.
He’d held on to the slim hope that after some time of living in the big city she’d grow tired of it and come home.
If she wore the necklace until then, he might have a chance.
But she’d turned the tables on him... again.
He handled his ranch duties like a robot.
The work had always seemed confining to him, but he’d been able to bear it while Tess remained in Copperville.
Now the daily routine was intolerable without her.
She’d been the one who had kept his life interesting, and the fact that she shared his desire to go out into the world had kept that fantasy alive for him.
Now she was out there and he was left behind.
As the heat lifted in late September, he was rounding up strays down by the river one afternoon when he came to a life changing realization.
Once his parents were gone, he’d sell the ranch and travel the world.
That wouldn’t take the place of losing Tess, but it would have to do.
And if he was planning to sell the ranch eventually anyway, his parents’ dream of keeping it in the family and passing it down through the generations was doomed from the beginning.
Suddenly the whole charade seemed stupid. To pretend he wanted a ranch that he wouldn’t keep after his parents died was unfair to all of them. Telling his mom and dad the truth after all these years wouldn’t be easy, though. Still, he was determined to do it and end the hypocrisy.
He waited until dinner was nearly over. He’d barely been able to taste his mother’s prized beef stew, but he’d forced himself to eat every bite and carry on a conversation about the antics of the stud they’d bought from Star Henderson in Flagstaff.
From the moment he’d come into the ranch house that night he’d seen the place with new eyes.
Now that he’d decided the ranch would not be his ball and chain, he could appreciate the beamed ceilings and rock fireplace, the heavy leather furniture grouped around the hearth and the carved oak table and chairs in the dining room.
It wouldn’t be such a bad place to live... someday, and with the right person. But he couldn’t expect his parents to keep it going without him, holding on to it for when he was ready to settle down. And before that day came, he had many things to do.
Finally he pushed his plate aside and gazed at them. “I need to talk to both of you. It’s... pretty serious.”
“At last,” his mother said with a sigh.
Mac stared at her. “What do you mean, at last?”
“Your mother’s been worried sick about you ever since Tess left,” his father said. “I’ve been a mite concerned, myself. You’ve been moping around like you’ve lost your best friend, and I guess you have.”
Mac felt his neck grow warm. It showed how self-absorbed he’d been lately, that he hadn’t even realized how his mood had been affecting his parents. “I’m sorry if I’ve been a pain in the butt.”
“You have,” his father said.
“No, he hasn’t, Andy.” His mother sent her husband a reproving glance. “He’s been sort of glum, that’s all.”
“Which translates to being a pain in the butt, in my opinion,” his father said.
“I agree,” Mac said. “But I’m about to be even more of one.” He took a deep breath. “I know you’ve both worked hard all these years to build up this ranch.”
“It’s been a labor of love,” his mother said.
She wasn’t making it any easier for him. Mac cleared his throat. “I appreciate all that you’ve done, and I realize the goal was to pass the ranch on to me someday, but—”
“You don’t want it,” his father finished, his voice husky.
Mac met his father’s gaze and his resolve nearly crumbled at the deep disappointment he saw there.
“I might,” he said gently. “Eventually, when I get some of the wanderlust out of my system. It’s a beautiful place, and tonight I really began to realize just how beautiful it is.
But right now the ranch feels like an elephant sitting on my chest, choking the life out of me. ”“
“You want to go to New York, don’t you?” his mother asked quietly.
“Maybe.” Yes. He hadn’t allowed himself to get that far in his thinking, but now that his mother had put the idea into words, he knew immediately that he wanted to start with New York.
He wasn’t sure how Tess figured into any of this, or if she even wanted to figure in, but he would never know if he didn’t go there and find out.
“What in hell would you do in New York?” his father asked. His tone of voice betrayed the depth of his hurt.
“I’m not sure.” The ideas started coming to him, and he realized they’d been simmering in his subconscious for years.
“I’d probably try to get on with one of the small commuter airlines there.
If that didn’t pan out I’d find some job at one of the major airports and work my way up until I could fly. I love airplanes, Dad. I always have.”
“You have a damn airplane! You can fly it around all you want!”
“Andy.” His mother laid a hand on his father’s arm.
“That’s not the point. He wants to go out on his own, the way Tess has.
Plus, he misses her like crazy. I don’t know if something more than friendship is involved, but I’m beginning to think there is.
” She glanced at Mac. “I didn’t want to interfere, but I had a strong feeling that you and Tess went beyond the boundaries of friendship this summer. Debbie thought so, too.”
“You and Tess’s mom talked about it?” Mac felt the heat climb from his neck to his face.
“To be honest, a lot of people in town had their suspicions,” his mother said. “We wondered if Tess might decide to stay home, after all. When she left, I felt so bad for you.”
“I knew it.” His father threw his napkin on the table and pushed back his chair. “This is all about chasing after a woman. If Tess had had the good sense to stay in Copperville, then you two could get married and you wouldn’t be comparing the ranch to some damn elephant.”
“Don’t blame it on Tess!” In his agitation, Mac rose to his feet. “I’ve always felt this way. Both of us have, Tess and I. We spent hours as kids talking about the places we’d see, the exciting things we’d do once we left Copperville.”
“Lots of kids talk that way,” his father said. “Then they grow up and realize that what they have is better than anything they could find out there!”
Mac gazed at his father and tried to put himself in his shoes.
After nearly thirty years of breaking his back to create a legacy for his son, his son was rejecting that legacy.
Mac hated hurting his father. “It probably is better, Dad,” he said gently.
“But I’ll never appreciate that if I don’t see something of the rest of the world. ”
“Of course you must,” his mother said.
“Maybe we should just sell the ranch right now,” his father said. “No point in killing ourselves if it’s not going to be passed on.”
“Oh, Andy, for heaven’s sake!” His mother looked disgusted. “Forget your hurt pride for five seconds and listen to what your son is saying. He needs time to explore. And he needs to be with the woman he loves.”
Mac’s heart clutched. “Now, Mom. Don’t jump to—”
“I’ll jump to any conclusion I want, thank you very much.” She glanced at him. “And Tess feels the same about you, unless I miss my guess. I also fully believe that both of you will eventually get homesick for Copperville and come back here to raise your children.”
“Children?” Mac almost choked. “Last I heard, Tess had no intention of getting married, let alone having kids. I think you’re getting ahead of yourself.”
His mother smiled. “No, I think you’re behind. Time to catch up. Go to New York and ask those questions. See what kind of response you get.” She looked over at his father. “All we need to do is hire someone to help out for a while, until these two come back home.”
His father scowled. “And what if they don’t? Then it’ll all be for nothing.”
“Now that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say.
Nothing? This ranch was your dream all along.
You hoped it would be passed down, as a lot of parents do who work to build something, but you wanted it for yourself, too.
You’ve had a wonderful time living this life, and don’t you dare pretend it was nothing but selfless sacrifice for your son! ”
Gradually his father’s expression changed from belligerent to sheepish. “Guess you’re right. I can’t imagine any other place to be. That’s why I can’t figure why anybody in their right mind would want to live in that rat’s nest they call New York City.”
“We’re all different,” his mother said. “As for these two, they were both born and raised here, and I say they’ll be back.”
“I can’t make any promises,” Mac said. But he couldn’t help weaving a few fantasies, either.
Maybe he could have it all, a few years of adventures with Tess and then a family and security right here in Copperville with the only woman he’d ever wanted.
But Tess might not be interested in such a plan.
After all, she had given back the necklace.
“You don’t have to make any promises to us,” his mother said. “But I think you need to make a few to Tess.”