Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
New York was everything Tess had imagined and more. Her employer, a private girls school, awarded scholarships to students from less privileged areas. In spite of being immensely talented, those kids often struggled with low self-esteem. Helping them believe in themselves had been gratifying.
She’d used her weekends to walk Manhattan from end to end, and each excursion brought new delights. She’d become addicted to pretzels sold by sidewalk vendors, and corner deli markets, and the ride up to the top of the Empire State Building.
But she’d never expected to be so completely, utterly lonely.
She’d made friends with the rest of the staff, but friend didn’t seem like the right word to describe someone she’d only known a couple of months.
Friends were people you’d known for years, people who knew your family and all your other friends. Friends were people like... Mac.
She’d thought the ache for him would have begun to wear away by now, but if anything, it grew stronger.
Today was worse than most days, because it was both Sunday, a time for families, and Halloween, a holiday she and Mac had shared for twenty-three years.
They’d never considered themselves too old to dress up.
A year ago they’d gone to a party together as a couple of Beanie Babies.
Tess had been invited to a party given by one of the teachers at school, and she’d accepted, but as she sat in her tiny apartment trying to come up with a costume, she couldn’t get excited about it.
Her simplest option was to wear the Jasmine costume she’d modified for the belly-dancing demonstration she’d given Mac.
She thought she’d thrown it away, but she must have been in a real fog when she’d packed, because it was in the bottom of a box.
Once she discovered it, she’d been so desperate for any reminders of Mac that she’d kept it.
Wearing it, however, might present a few emotional problems. Yet she didn’t have any other great ideas for a costume, and this one was complete.
With a sigh she started putting it on for a test run to see whether it made her cry, or worse yet, made her hot and bothered.
Sexual frustration had been a constant companion along with loneliness, but of the two, loneliness was the worst. She missed having Mac to talk to even more than she missed his lovemaking.
Still, she’d give anything to be held and caressed by him again, and it was definitely his lovemaking that she wanted. She’d turned down several dates already. The thought of even kissing someone besides Mac made her shudder.
If that attitude persisted, she might have to resign herself to staying single all her life.
Damned if she wasn’t beginning to believe she was a one-man woman.
She’d never have believed it before the scorching events of this summer, but it seemed that Mac had taken not only her virginity, but her heart. And she wasn’t getting it back.
After putting on the filmy harem pants and the jeweled bra, she stood in front of the mirror in her small bedroom and fastened the veil in place.
Heat washed over her as she remembered the look in Mac’s eyes as she’d danced for him.
She’d never felt so sensuous as when she’d leaned over him and shimmied her breasts practically in his face.
He’d meant to end their affair that night without making love to her, but she’d tempted him beyond endurance and even made him forget he’d agreed to meet her brothers for a darts tournament.
In all the turmoil that had followed, she’d forgotten that her seductive dance had succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. She had made him lose his mind.
Maybe he didn’t want to marry her, but for that moment, he had been completely, utterly hers.
And he’d said that he loved her. It had turned out to be an empty pledge, and now she wondered if he’d only meant that he loved the fantastic sex they’d made together. But when he’d said it that night, he’d filled her heart to overflowing.
She couldn’t wear the harem outfit to the Halloween party. It made her long for Mac in every conceivable way — physically, mentally and emotionally. Maybe she’d skip the party altogether and rent a video. She reached for the hook on the jeweled bra just as the doorbell rang.
Probably her next-door neighbor. She’d moved clear across the country, yet some things stayed the same. The woman in the next apartment reminded her so much of her neighbor, Mrs. Nedbetter, back in Copperville, that several times she’d called her by the wrong name.
She glanced at herself in the mirror. Oh, well, it was Halloween. She’d explain that she was trying on costumes in preparation for a party. She really should make herself go, she thought as she walked toward the front door. A simple costume like a gypsy or a pirate wouldn’t be that hard to create.
The doorbell chimed again. Then a voice that made her breath catch called out, “Trick or treat.”
“Mac!” She raced to the door and unlocked it, fumbling in her eagerness. So what if he’d only come for a visit and would leave her worse off than she was now? She didn’t care. She flung open the door and gasped.
He was dressed in his Aladdin costume—turban, white balloon pants, gold sash and bare-chested except for Aladdin’s purple vest When he saw her, his jaw dropped. “Wow. This is just plain scary.”
“Yeah.” She held his gaze, her heart pounding. “Scary as hell.”
“Are you going to a Halloween party?”
“No. Well, maybe. I was invited and I was trying to decide if I wanted to go or not, so I put this on in case I could wear it.” She gulped for air. “But I can’t.”
“Funny, but you seem to be wearing it. Or is that an optical illusion?”
“I—listen, come in.” She stepped back from the door. “Do you have bags? How long can you stay? When did you—”
“No bags. I left them at the hotel.”
Her hopes died. “H-hotel? You’re not... planning to stay... with me?”
He walked in and closed the door behind him. “I didn’t want to impose on you. I’m sure you have all sorts of things going on.”
So he had come for a visit, with a capital V. He probably wanted someone to show him the sights, and she was handy, but he’d distanced himself from her by checking into a hotel. His Aladdin outfit was a little joke, not a significant statement of his intentions.
“Well, of course I have things going on.” She was determined to hide her pain. “But I’d be glad to adjust my schedule. If you’d told me you were coming, I might have been able to arrange a couple of days off, but on short notice, I’m not sure.”
He waved a hand as if that didn’t matter to him. “I don’t want you to interrupt your work for me.” He hesitated. “You said you were invited to a party.” His voice became husky. “Do you have a date?”
For a split second she considered lying, but she’d never been good at that, especially with Mac. “No. It’s just some people from work. Not a couples sort of thing.”
“And you’re thinking of going in that?”
She bristled. Deciding not to wear it because of the memories it evoked was one thing. Having him question her choice in that tone of voice was quite another. He didn’t have that right. “Why not?”
“Because it’s indecent!”
“You didn’t think so that night I danced for you!” She blew the veil impatiently away from her face. “You enjoyed this outfit so much your tongue was hanging out, mister!”
“And it still is! And so will every other guy’s at that party!”
Her chin lifted. “What’s it to you?”
He stepped forward and grabbed her. “Everything.”
Her breath caught as the space surrounding them seemed to glow and pulse. She became lost in his gaze.
He squeezed his eyes shut. “Damn. I didn’t mean it to come out like that.”
“You didn’t?” Some of the luster faded.
“No.” He looked into her eyes. “I meant to go slow, find out if you had a boyfriend.”
The luster returned.
“Well?” he prompted.
Wherever this conversation was leading she wanted to go along, but he’d taken his time about having this talk with her. She decided not to make it too easy and ruin the challenge for him. “Well, what?”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
What a beautiful day. What an absolutely gorgeous day. “I think so.”
“You think so?” He scowled down at her. “What kind of an answer is that?”
She was glad she still wore the veil. It hid her smile. “He’s not being real clear about his intentions, so it’s hard for me to know whether he’s my boyfriend or not. But I’m pretty sure he is.”
Mac’s scowl darkened. “So he’s one of those wishy-washy types?”
“Let’s just say he’s a little confused.”
“And how do you feel about him?”
“I’m crazy about him.”
His eyes blazed and his grip tightened on her arms. “You can’t be.”
“Why not? He’s terrific.”
“Terrific? What do you mean by that?” His eyes narrowed. “Tess, have you and this guy... made love?”
“Not recently.”
“I don’t give a damn if it’s recent or not! Tess, how could you make love to another man? How could you—”
“In fact, I haven’t made love to this guy since August,” she added gently. “I was wearing this outfit at the time.”
Understanding slowly softened the fierce line of his eyebrows and the glitter in his blue eyes. “Oh.” He swallowed. “Did I hear you say you’re crazy about this guy?”
She nodded.
“I can’t imagine why.” His voice was hoarse. “He’s an idiot.”
“No.” She reached up and touched his cheek.
“Just confused.” She stroked the curve of his jaw with a trembling hand.
She wanted him, no matter how long he could stay or what his terms might be.
“Would you like to cancel that hotel reservation? No one in Copperville has to know that you stayed here during your visit, if that’s what you’re worried about. ”
“I’m not visiting.”
“What?”
“I’m job hunting, looking into a couple of commuter airlines. I’ve come here to live.”
She reeled from the news. “Mac! What about the ranch? What about your parents?”
“They’ve hired someone to take over my part of the work. Telling them that I needed to go out on my own wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do. I should have told them sooner, but I guess I needed you to blaze a trail for me.”
“I’m stunned.”
His eyes grew shadowed. “Look, this puts you under no obligation. I’m not asking you to change your life just because I decided to come here. I mean, sure, I’d like to see you, and everything, but—”
“And what do you mean exactly by and everything?” She moved her hips boldly against his and felt his instantaneous response. “This?”
He groaned softly. “Tess, I—”
“And this?” She pushed the purple vest aside and brushed her jeweled bra against his bare chest.
His gaze smoldered. “You drive me insane, Tess. I’ve missed you so much I can barely think straight.”
She pressed her body against his. “If you can’t think straight, then maybe you don’t remember what you told me when we made love that last time.”
“Oh, I remember that, all right.”
She gathered her courage and continued. “I need to know if it was just something you said in the heat of passion, or if it meant more than that.”
He held her tighter. “You want all my cards on the table?”
“Yes.”
“Then take off that damn veil.”
She reached up and unfastened it immediately, tossing it to a nearby chair.
He gazed down at her, his glance warm as it roved over her face. Then he reached into the pocket of his white pants and pulled out the pearl necklace. “I think it’s time you put this back on.”
Her heart thudded wildly at the implication. She trembled as he fastened the clasp around her neck and nestled the pearl between her breasts.
“Okay,” he said softly. “I was going to lead up to this, but if you want everything all at once, that’s what you get.
I love you. Maybe on some level I’ve always known you were my mate, but so many things got in the way.
I’m going to marry you someday, Tess, when you’re ready.
I realize that might not be for a while, but—”
“I’m ready.”
“—I’m willing to wait until you’ve experienced all...” He paused, as if finally registering what she’d said. He looked into her eyes.
She nodded.
‘‘Oh, God.” His mouth came down on hers, and he kissed her until they were both breathless. “You’re sure?” He held her face in both hands, his gaze probing. “I mean, you just started this new life, and maybe you need to stay single for a couple of years, to—”
“To what? Nothing could be as exciting as living with you as your wife. I think I’ve known that since I was three years old. I love you, Mac, desperately, completely and forever.”
His smile was tender. “Yeah, but do you swear on the tomb of old King Tut?”
“You bet. And now let me give you some vital information. The bedroom is through that door on your right. Do you think we could go in there and make mad, passionate love for about ten hours? I’m feeling very neglected.”
He grinned and lifted her up in his arms. “Only ten hours?”
“For starters.”
He feathered his lips over hers. “Got ice?” he murmured.