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27. She Went to Work

She Went to Work

Gwen

Day one. My assistant was terrified of me.

Maybe Cassidy’s sleek auburn bun was cinched too tight. Maybe it was the skin-tight pencil skirt she wore. The woman scurried around the office like a nervous mouse dodging the swipe of a hungry cat.

I peeked over my computer monitors.

Cassidy hovered in front of the filing cabinet. A stack of manila folders was dumped on top. She took a folder off the pile, flicked through the empty slots in the drawer, and just as she was about to tuck the folder inside, she slid a glance to the side.

Our eyes met.

Cassidy snapped to attention, smoothing down her skirt. “Ms. Sullivan.” Her smile shook at the edges, nervous, as if she silently prayed I wouldn’t rip her to shreds. “Can I fetch you another coffee?”

I lifted an eyebrow. It was the sixth time she’d offered in the last hour. I was one sip away from never leaving the bathroom.

“Thank you, but I’m fine for now.” I jiggled my cup so she could hear the cold coffee sloshing inside. “I’m still going with this one.”

Cassidy nodded but stood there, staring at me, her left eye twitching. In response, I tilted my head. What was she waiting for? Orders?

The knock on the office door almost shot her through the ceiling.

Elias had only inched inside before she scampered past him in a blaze of mumbled apologies to hide behind her desk. The knot in my stomach eased when I saw his dark eyebrow arch. He was just as confused.

He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. “Is she okay?”

“She’s been on edge all morning. Do you think I scared her?” I leaned back in my chair, tapping my fingers on the armrest, thinking over everything I’d said since arriving. I thought I’d been nice. “Do I have a resting bitch face I don’t know about?”

His dark eyes rounded. “Your face is, um… no .” He cleared his throat. “You Crawfords can appear a little intimidating, but you look very professional. Very, um… lawyer-like?”

I skimmed my fingers along the pinstriped lapel of my new jacket. “It’s the suit, right?” I grinned. “Old school legal. Like a boss.”

“The suit suits you.” His crooked smile didn’t last a full sweep of his eyes around the room. “How’s the office?”

I hummed a happy sigh and spun around on the oversized leather chair. My office was strangely cozy on the otherwise soulless floor, accented with light oak and too many white, fluffy things. Did I need sheepskin-covered seats in front of my desk? Apparently, yes.

It wasn’t the biggest office on the floor.

I was wedged in the corner of the building between Marketing and the head of Human Resources, who my brother referred to as “Chief Pain in his Ass” in the email greeting me when I’d logged in.

I’d already penciled a note in my diary to chat with Liam about sending emails like that.

I smiled up at Elias. “Everything’s wonderful. Perfect.” Precisely like a design you’d see in a glossy magazine. “Thank you.”

He plucked at the fluff of the sheepskin chair. “Are you sure ?” His smile only got tighter.

I sighed. “Eli, you look stressed. Is everything okay with work?”

“Yeah, work’s a breeze. Plugging through the numbers, drowning in spreadsheets and data, I live for that shit. My problem is Liam .”

“What nefarious deed is he up to now?” I laughed. “And why do I get the feeling I’m going to say that phrase a lot working here?”

“Because you’re clever.” He relaxed his hip against the fluffy chair.

“Liam’s out pitching to some clients this morning, but that doesn’t mean he’s not carrying on like a mother hen.

” He rolled his eyes. “He pretends he doesn’t care you’re here, but then pecks at everyone all morning to remind us how we’re supposed to help you settle in. ”

“Such as?”

“Those pillows.” Elias pointed to the couch in the corner.

“Not chopped down the middle. That painting.” He pointed to the splotched canvas on the far wall.

“Not what he authorized with the designer. Do you need the occupational therapist to come in and make sure your desk is set up ergonomically? Did we remember to offer you a coffee? A muffin? He’s driving me nuts. ”

“At least that explains why Cassidy pops in every two minutes to check if I want a coffee.” I shook my head even as I smiled. “And why she’s terrified of me.”

Elias raked a hand through his dark curls. “I’ll talk to Cassidy. I’ll talk to him , too.” He sighed. “I remind myself Liam’s nagging comes from a place of caring, but seriously —”

There was a cautious knock on the door.

Cassidy poked her head through the gap. “Ms. Sullivan. There’s a delivery for you.

” She teetered toward my desk after I waved her in.

An oversized bunch of wildflowers was stuffed haphazardly in the water pitcher she clutched for dear life.

“My apologies for the vase.” She shuffled a few more steps.

“It was the only thing big enough I could find. I’ll be sure to pop out to purchase something more suitable. ”

Elias cleared his throat into his fist. “Your husband’s attempting to score some first-day brownie points, huh?”

“Toby has been known to go a little overboard. Flowers. Balloons.” I scrunched my nose. “One time, he sent a singing telegram.” Thank God, not this time.

“Nightmare fuel.” He cringed on my behalf. “Well, I’m escaping before we suffer round two of that. Cassidy. Out.” He leaned over the sheepskin chair, his voice lower when he said, “I’ll take care of that other stuff and touch base later?”

“That’d be great.”

I plucked the card out of the green stems and waved it at Elias, smiling at him as he took one last solemn look over his shoulder before shutting the door.

I flipped open the card.

Today’s your new start. You’re an inspiration. I’m so proud of you, beautiful.

I held the card closer, right under my nose, and read the message again.

Had Toby sent the flowers?

Leaning back, my gaze on the ceiling, I tapped the card absently on the edge of the desk. Toby always told me I was beautiful, but he almost never called me beautiful. He called me “doll.” Sometimes, hot with lust, his growly voice rumbled my name, “Gwendolyn.”

Frustrated, I tossed the card and watched it slide across the desk to hit the white jar filled with pens. I glanced at the clock. Midday. I’d done next to no work and wasted most of the morning trying to get my laptop sorted. No one was watching me, but I darted nervous eyes around the room.

A peek at my phone wouldn’t hurt.

A string of messages from Toby lit up my notifications—photos of Noah and silly updates about their day. My smile turned watery as I traced my baby’s sweet face with a shaky finger.

I missed that little chub meister. Did he miss me? Did he even notice I was gone?

I dabbed under my eyes to get rid of the tears before tapping a quick message.

Gwen

Thanks for the photos. Miss him xoxo

The dots of a reply coming in hot and fast popped up on my screen.

Toby

On your lunch break?

Sort of.

Can I call?

I’d barely hit the thumbs-up emoji before the video call request flashed on the screen. Why not? A swipe—yes—and the call connected to show Toby’s waving hand.

“Hey.” His face popped up, his hair rumpled, and his eyes tired, like he’d just woken up.

“Hey.”

The video shook, and Toby’s face disappeared in a blur of the ceiling, the jungle mural painted on the wall, and the crib. He must have propped his phone against the lamp on the nightstand because when he waved again, he was in the rocking chair with Noah snuggled on his chest.

“We were just having a cuddle,” Toby explained in a hushed voice.

Noah’s tiny thumb was stuffed in his mouth. His eyes were squeezed shut, and his face was red and blotchy.

“Is he okay?” My palms landed on the desk. I was ready to launch out of the chair and rush home.

He flapped a hand at me to stay put. “Don’t worry yourself, doll. We’ve had some tears, but we’re working it out.”

“Do you need me to come home—”

“No way. We’re finding our feet.” The soft way Toby patted Noah’s back made my heart ping.

I could hate him for many things, but he tried hard to be a good dad.

“NoBo told me in no uncertain terms he’s not a fan of the vacuum cleaner.

I mean, I wouldn’t have been vacuuming if he hadn’t pulled the lid off the rice and spilled it all over the floor.

” He grinned. “I’m told that’s also my fault for giving him the container to shake around. ”

“Sounds like he made some valid arguments.”

Toby nodded. “Yeah, he’s a tough boss. Lucky for me, I’m a quick learner.” He wriggled another pillow behind his back before smiling at the screen. “And how’s your boss? Everyone treating you good at your new work?”

“Yeah. Too good. Liam’s driving everyone crazy. I think that’s going to be a daily thing. Hey, I wanted to say thanks for the flowers.”

Toby frowned. “How’d you know about the flowers?”

“They were just delivered.”

He stared at me blankly. I twisted my phone so the camera captured the enormous bouquet on the other side of my desk.

His mouth flattened even more. “I got you some daisies. They’re sitting on the kitchen counter with a gift for you to open when you get home. I didn’t send those .”

“But the card said—” I bit my lip. That card . I knew it wasn’t from Toby.

“Said what?”

“Nothing.”

“Gwen, come on… ” His nostrils flared. Frustration? Disappointment? I wasn’t sure which, but he wasn’t happy. “I thought we moved past this. Please, don’t shut me out again. I can’t handle it.”

I slumped in my chair. Toby was right. I had to stop keeping secrets. Even if we never got back together, we needed to be good parents to Noah, which meant learning how to talk it out, even when it was tough.

Sighing, I reached across the desk to grab the card. “The card says… Today’s your new start. You’re an inspiration. So proud of you… ” I swallowed. “Beautiful .”

Toby’s eyes squeezed shut. He took a deep breath before he looked at me again and asked, “Ian?”

“He wouldn’t…”

“Yeah, right. Just like how he wouldn’t hurt you when you told him to stop, right?” Toby shook his head as he forced in another deep breath. He was battling to calm down. “Sorry, doll. Ignore me. I’ll sort myself out.”

In the old days, if Toby were upset or stressed, I’d promise him a kiss when I got home, and he’d smile and crack a dirty joke, but his breathing would even out, and he’d be calm in no time.

But we were wading through the quicksand of new territory. I couldn’t promise him a kiss. I could barely promise him that I wouldn’t storm out of the room every time I looked at him because remembering what he did still hurt so much.

“Did you see Ian at work yesterday?” I asked him.

“Nope. He called in sick. The less I see of that motherfuc—” Toby’s face twisted in a grimace. He pecked a kiss on Noah’s sleepy head. “Sorry, little dude. Forgot myself for a second there.”

“Toby, I’m sorry—”

His index finger covered his lips, gently asking me to shush. “Don’t you dare, doll. You don’t need to be sorry for anything. Ian needs to be sorry. I need to be sorry.” He sighed. “Gwen, can I be honest with you?”

“Please.”

“I’m struggling.”

“I can come home—”

“Not with Noah. Sure, we’re adjusting to you not taking care of us twenty-four-seven, but I’m loving being here with him.

” He patted Noah’s back with another soft smile.

“I’m struggling to deal with what Ian did.

I’m struggling to be on my own. Gwen, I’m miserable without you.

I hate living in the apartment. I’d rather spend every night for the next hundred years on the couch or even in a sleeping bag in the damn garage if it meant we were still together under the same roof.

I know you’re not ready for that. I’m hanging on, but Sunday…

” His eyes turned to the ceiling, and he exhaled a slow breath. “Sunday was rough.”

Shame stabbed under my ribs. I slumped forward. “It meant a lot to me that you listened.”

“And it meant even more to me that you were brave enough to talk to me. I want to be there for you. That’s something you can always count on.” He kissed Noah’s fuzzy head. “You can’t hear him, but NoBo agrees. You can count on him, too.”

A cold, hurt voice whispered in the back of my mind that I couldn’t count on Toby.

The blue and red lights from the night of the accident still flashed when my eyes drifted closed some nights.

Toby hadn’t been there. He hadn’t cared.

If I took him back, maybe he’d try harder for a while, but what if there was another night when he didn’t answer his phone? What then ?

Toby’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “Gwen, you okay?”

I shook my head.

I caught the curse he muttered as he dragged his palm down his face. “I’m sorry. This was meant to be a fun call to see Noah. He’s a little out of sorts, but we’re figuring it out. And seriously, he’s still cute as heck.” He squished the rolls of Noah’s chunky leg. “See that chub? Cute as heck .”

“He really is cute as heck.”

“And he’s getting some extra beauty sleep because we’ve got big plans for when you get home. We’ll spoil you with a nice dinner and a bubble bath with one of those stinky bath bombs you like. You can even have an early bedtime because everything’s done around the house.”

“Seriously? Everything ?”

“Well…” Toby’s eyes darted to the side. “I’m optimistic everything will be done.” He grinned. “But obviously not the vacuuming.”

“ Obviously .” I eyed him suspiciously. “You won’t be serving any of that non-alcoholic prosecco with dinner, will you?”

Toby’s laugh was light. “I promise. I’ve listened and learned. Anyway, I don’t want to keep you. Enjoy some downtime on your lunch break. We’ll miss you.” He waved goodbye. “I love you, Gwen.”

Even though it was on the tip of my tongue to whisper, “Love you too,” I didn’t. I ended the call.