Push

26. He Rejected the Girl

He Rejected the Girl

Toby

Zach pushed his glasses up his nose. He squinted at me like I was a tiny bug under a magnifying glass and not a six-foot-two dork in daggy running clothes.

“Mate, don’t take this the wrong way,” he said. “But you look like shit.”

I grunted a laugh. “Fair.” The bags under my eyes were hauling their own bags. “I haven’t been sleeping much.”

Or… at all .

Last night had been rough. So damn rough. The smack to my heart had come as a shock after such a perfect afternoon.

Gwen and I lazed around on the picnic blanket and put aside enough of our problems to talk.

Really talk. She even laughed at a couple of my jokes.

Did she know how that sound shot me into the tallest man in the world?

Noah woke from his nap full of beans, and we laughed some more as he gummed his banana and babbled a story I translated for Gwen—she was skeptical the dragon had been slain by a bottle of prosecco.

But family time had ended too soon.

And after I’d waved goodbye and the two most important people in my world drove home without me, I slumped in the driver’s seat, unable to move. Tears were impossible to fight.

I’d failed my wife.

Guilt ached bone-deep. I had no idea what to do.

A relentless, unforgiving urge demanded I charge over to Ian’s and make him pay for touching Gwen.

I’d feel better for a breath, maybe two, but my anger solved nothing.

Those feelings didn’t recognize what Gwen needed, only what would make me feel better.

So, instead, I’d buried the feelings down deep with the other realities I wasn’t ready to face.

I exhausted myself doing star jumps to dull the surge of adrenaline that never stopped pumping.

I punched the pillow until feathers floated in the air and fluttered onto my face like snowflakes.

I prayed my son wouldn’t end up like me.

By the time night rolled around, I was exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep. My eyes snapped open to a pitch-black room, and I stared up at the ceiling. Midnight ticked by. Then it was one. Almost two.

I grabbed my phone. Looked at photos. Checked my messages.

Zach’s name was near the top.

Token Dad Zach

Catch up another time, mate?

His last message was days old, but I smiled. Mate . Not yet…but…

I started typing.

Toby

Wanna go for a run tomorrow morning?

His reply instantly pinged back. I guess Zach didn’t sleep either.

Token Dad Zach

This tomorrow morning or TOMORROW tomorrow morning?

Sunday. Four hours from now.

I’m down. See you at 6?

And that was how a couple of dads wound up stretching beside each other to warm up for a Sunday run.

No lie—I was stoked.

I ran all the time. A healthy body was important to me.

The shy way Gwen’s cheeks still flushed hot pink when she saw me without a shirt on made keeping fit worth the effort.

But, this early, the running trail was usually deserted except for me, my tortured guilt, and the group of oldies power walking in matching pastel tracksuits.

It was great to have some company for once.

If we kept this up, we’d definitely need matching tracksuits.

Zach smothered a yawn behind his hand.

I smirked. “You’re off to a good start.”

“A cracking start,” he agreed with a laugh. “It’s been a long night.”

“I know that feeling. Why were you up at two in the morning?”

“Alfie’s decided sleeping’s optional. Midnight’s now party time.” Zach crouched to loop the laces on his black trainers extra tight. “My wife’s about to ship him off to boarding school.” He grinned up at me. “Is your little guy keeping you up too? Teething or something?”

“Nah… I’m not…” I sighed. “Gwen said she needed some space after…” I ruined my marriage and destroyed my family . Pick one. Both were accurate.

Zach frowned. “Sorry, mate. I didn’t realize. I thought maybe you guys were patching things up.”

“Gwen never said anything?”

Zach shook his head. “Word spread quickly in the group chat about, er…” He grimaced.

I didn’t need to be the sharpest tool in the shed to figure out he was trying to avoid referring to my affair.

“Well, we all saw the photo. That was a shock. Before that night—even after—Gwen sings your praises. Sometimes, you hear people complaining about their other halves, but she’s never joined in. ”

My gut hit the grass. I was the biggest ass in the world, blabbing about how miserable I was to Kayleigh while Gwen burrowed our problems down deep. The sinking feeling in my stomach only got worse. In the end, we’d both made the wrong choice. We should’ve been talking to each other.

“Zach…” I glanced back at him. He seemed like a good guy. He was the serious, salt-of-the-earth type. Not like me. I bet his wife was thrilled he was hanging out with the bastard who cheated on his wife. “Why’d you agree to come this morning?”

His eyes flicked back from the horizon, his frown tugging into a sympathetic smile. “You seem like you need a friend.”

Ouch . “I don’t have a lot of friends right now.” Or any .

“Well, you’ve got a new one. Token Dad is recruiting. We can be the Dad Duo.”

Christ, maybe we would get matching tracksuits.

Zach waggled his eyebrows above his glasses, grinning as he stretched his arms in a half-assed warm-up. “Ready to run?”

“Born ready.” I started jogging ahead, but he didn’t keep pace beside me. “Are you ?”

“Uh, not exactly.” He grunted a few huffs as he caught up. “I’m into outdoor stuff. Rock climbing. Kayaking. I take the kids to the beach a lot. As for running… It’s not really my thing. My ideal pace is the equivalent of my grandpa pushing his wheelie walker in a lap around the retirement home.”

I laughed. “You’ve got enough gray up top to be convincing.”

“Piss off.” He smirked at me over his shoulder. “My wife says the silver around the temples is distinguished .”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, man.”

“A silver fox, even.”

“Uh-huh.”

Grins plastered on both our faces, we jogged along the path, shooting the breeze about not much at all, mostly sports or sharing tips about how to fix shit around the house. So, when Zach threw a tricky question out of nowhere, it caught me off guard.

“How are your parents handling the separation?” he asked.

“My mum…” A sour taste flooded my mouth. The memory of my mother’s past rants churned in my gut. “Family’s a tough one for us, even without the separation. Gwen and I, yeah… I guess we’ve always been on our own.”

“That’s a lot of pressure if it’s just the two of you against the world.”

I sighed. “Now, it’s not even the two of us.

Life feels impossible without Gwen. And it’s the dumbest stuff that makes me miss her the most sometimes, you know?

The other day, the girls at work were raving about a true crime podcast, and I wanted to tell Gwen about it so bad. She likes that kind of stuff.”

“How are you handling living on your own?”

“Honestly? Not great. You probably won’t believe me because of the shit I did, but I love Gwen.

Not being there…not seeing her every day…

” I couldn’t finish that train of thought.

The tears were ready and waiting behind my eyes, but there was no way I was crying in front of Zach.

“I hate being away from Noah. We used to have bro time every night when I got off work. I miss that.”

“Ask for that time. It’s cliché, mate, but he’ll grow up in the blink of an eye.

My daughter’s three going on thirty, and she informed me with her hands on her hips that she can brush her own dang teeth, thank you very much.

” He swiped at the beads of sweat on his forehead but never stopped smiling.

“Will you get some bro time with Noah when Gwen starts work?”

“Yeah. I wrangled a day off work where I get to be Numero Dad-o, and I’ve even talked Gwen into letting me do a few of the daycare drop-offs and pick-ups.

I think she’s secretly relieved I offered, though.

The only place I could get Noah into on short notice was across town.

The peak-hour traffic’s going to be hell. ”

Zach’s smile was tight, but it had nothing to do with the grunt of effort it took him to run up the hill. Something wasn’t right. He had a thinking face like Gwen.

The anxious tug in my chest slowed me to a jog a step or two behind him. “All good, man?”

“Yeah… Just…” He sighed. “It’s not my place.”

“Spit it out. I’ve given you heaps of shit about your hair. Feel free to say whatever’s on your mind.”

“I guess I just see a lot of my old self in Gwen. Us lawyers… Eh. We’re a broken bunch. Working too much. Expecting too much of ourselves. Perfectionists .”

I nodded. Zach had explained my beautiful wife to a T. “Gwen’s hard on herself.” I sighed. “Too hard.”

“She’ll burn herself out.”

Talk about stating the obvious. “I know.” My biggest fear was that Gwen would dig her heels in and try to juggle long hours like she used to work, but… “Work is one of those topics that always ends up in an argument for us. Gwen loves being a lawyer, and she’s so damn good at it, but…”

“It comes at a cost?”

“Yeah… Us. And we’ve got Noah now. Gwen’s achieved so much, but the hours she used to work were intense. All night. Weekends. I worry about her.”

“Have you talked to her about how you feel?”

“Sort of. If I push too hard, she shuts down.”

“Mate, don’t give up trying to have that conversation.

I’ve been there. I was stuck on a path where work was everything—my whole identity—and nothing my family warned me about was getting through.

When the crunch comes, it comes hard. Make sure you’re there, ready to listen and support her when it happens. She’ll need you.”

“I’m there. No questions asked.”

“And keep an eye on the dude she’s working for.”

“Crawford?”

“He’s got a reputation. From what I’ve seen working on the other side of a couple of his commercial deals, it’s a well-deserved reputation.” Zach’s look at me was pointed. “Men in their early thirties don’t run hedge funds unless they’re ruthless pricks.”

I laughed. Bring on all the trash talk about Liam. I hated that guy. “You know he’s her brother, right?”

Zach stopped dead. “Wait… What?” He braced his hands on his knees and sucked in a breath, staring at me like I’d grown two heads.

“Yup.”

“Piss off.”

“One hundred percent.”

“I mean…” He cocked his head, thinking it over. “Yeah, I guess they look alike… But I had no idea.”

“I think that’s by design, man. The Crawford siblings…” I lifted my shoulder. “I won’t go into the details, but they saw some shit growing up—”

My phone started going off in my pocket.

I grabbed it, hoping the universe had sent Gwen a message that I was thinking about her.

Maybe she was hungry. We could go out for breakfast. She’d order muesli with sliced strawberries, and NoBo could try the banana pancakes.

Or maybe she wanted some downtime. I could grab her a coffee and hang out with the little dude…

My heart practically soared imagining that fantasy life. I glanced down at my phone and groaned.

“Everything alright?” Zach asked.

“Work.” I sighed. “I stupidly offered to be on call for emergencies until the end of time. Looks like some guy has cracked his tooth on his Sunday bruschetta.”

Zach’s eyebrows popped over the top of his glasses.

“Yeah, man, bruschetta .” I laughed. “The crusty bread is killer. I’d better put this poor bastard out of his misery. Raincheck?”

“Of course. Duty calls. Although…” Zach’s grin was sheepish. “Want to skip the run next time and try the drink option instead?”

I laughed. “Sounds like a plan.”

“This arvo?”

My eyebrows furrowed. I was surprised and kind of humbled. Zach was a decent guy, and after all the mistakes I’d made, on most people’s accounts, I was the furthest thing from a good man.

Despite my confusion about why he wanted to hang out with me, I answered him honestly. “I’d like that.”

Zach slapped a hand on my shoulder and sent me on my way with a promise to message the details later.

Sprinting back to the car park was a breeze after that. I couldn’t help grinning. Life was better— easier —when other people were part of it.

The woman leaning against my car wiped the smile off my face. Her hot pink Lycra outfit was impossible to miss, but I had no interest in looking. Head down, I planted my eyes on the ground and kept heading for my car as if I hadn’t even noticed her.

“Hi, Toby!” Kayleigh’s voice was bright and cheerful.

I refused to acknowledge her.

Her footsteps jogged alongside me. “Isn’t this place great? I was just out for a run. Small world, huh?”

My words came out through gritted teeth. “Too small.” I tried to dodge her, but her designer sneakers filled the ground in front of my eyes. Blocked in, I glanced up, my eyes narrowing when she beamed a smile with lips painted almost as pink as her outfit. “Keep running, Kayleigh.”

“Not until you say ‘Cheese!’”

“Huh?”

Her arm slithered around my waist. I was attempting to shove her off me when she stuck her phone in my face. A flash of light. My hand darted out, but Kayleigh laughed, twirling out of my reach.

“Delete that photo,” I demanded.

She ignored my sharp words, her eyes glued to the screen. “We’re too cute together!” Squealing, she bounced on the spot and flipped her phone to show me the selfie she’d snapped. “I can’t wait to share this.”

“Delete it!”

“Sure.” She giggled. “In exchange for another kiss.” She leaned over and puckered her lips.

“Kayleigh, this isn’t a game.”

“Are you sure?”

I dragged a restless hand through my hair. “Christ, what the hell do you want from me?” This was a nightmare.

“I told you. One more kiss.” She bit her lip as her eyes dipped below my waist. “ Anywhere you want.”

No. Hell no.

My index finger pointed too close to Kayleigh’s face. “Stay the hell away from me.” I unlocked the car and yanked open the door. “I have nothing to say to you.”

As I hopped in, I heard her laugh.

And as I slammed the door shut, I heard her say, “You will.”