Push

34. She Read the Notes

She Read the Notes

Gwen

When someone declared they needed to “tell you something,” it was never good news.

I shouldn’t have been surprised. I hadn’t heard any good news in a long time. The last few months had been hit after hit, and just when I thought I could stop to catch my breath, Toby lobbed another grenade.

What now? What was left?

I’d already been through hell, hadn’t I? First, the accident. Then, the affair. Ian. Noah starting daycare. My brother. My gaze blurred, but I blotted away the tears with rapid blinks.

Actually, not Liam. He was the one good thing that had landed in my lap. As much as his pedantic escapades made me roll my eyes, I was grateful he’d slain whatever demon had kept him away for so long. His presence—as cold as it was—soothed me. He watched out for me.

One afternoon, I’d dropped off a client agreement at a bar. Just as I turned to leave, the client’s face broke into a sleazy grin, and he darted out a hand. That balding bastard planned to smack my ass. Guys like him always tried.

He never got the chance.

Liam’s hand shot out of nowhere, his fingers curling, twisting around the man’s fat wrist, his icy glare unforgiving. The client sobbed his apologies, but Liam tore the client agreement in half anyway. We left, and not another word was spoken about the incident.

With Toby—like Liam—I always felt safe.

But my husband walked on eggshells into the kitchen. His knuckles were white when he lifted the duffel on the wooden countertop, and he hesitated before dropping the strap and falling a step back.

Whatever he was about to tell me was serious.

I tried lightening the mood Toby style. “You got a bomb in that bag?” I joked.

“Basically.” He looked like he was about to puke.

The thread of resilience holding me together frayed at the edge, but I needed to do this right. Patience. Listening. My mouth clenched shut to stop myself barking the conclusions twisting together in my mind.

I stuck my foot out and dragged the highchair closer. By the time Noah was safely strapped in his seat and smacking the tray with his chubby hands, Toby had a peeled banana and a bowl of yogurt waiting. He didn’t bother handing over a spoon. Noah never used one. Fists were tastier.

“What do you need to tell me?” I asked Toby, no emotion clouding my voice. So far, so good .

He took a deep breath. “Um…” His head drooped. “Kayleigh’s following me.”

I wasn’t sure what I expected Toby to say, but it wasn’t that.

Too many emotions battled inside. I wanted to laugh.

Anger urged me to ball my fists and pound something until I collapsed, exhausted, on the floor.

More than anything, I wanted Kayleigh gone.

Toby was mine. My man. My protector. The father of my son. That little tramp could go to hell.

I almost kept my face neutral, but the frown was impossible to hide.

“Toby, I’m going to ask a lot of questions now.

” Getting lost in the details was safer than dealing with a blur of emotions inside me.

“I don’t want you to feel like this is an inquisition.

I’m asking to understand what’s happened and figure out what to do next, okay? ”

His hand reached for me, and relief lit up his face when I didn’t pull away. “No secrets, Gwen.” He stared at the sight of our fingers laced together. “I’ll tell you everything.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“A few weeks.”

My nostrils flared with my sharp breath in. A few weeks! The world wobbled, unsteady, even though I tried to blot out the sting of the latest hit. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. I needed to focus.

“She’s turned up at a few places.” Toby sighed. “The gym. When I met up with Zach. Buying groceries. Dropping by the hardware store. She was waiting outside the pharmacy this morning. Somehow, she always knows where I am. She leaves notes.” He swallowed and nodded at the bag. “Gifts.”

“Gifts?”

“Flowers and, um… I think photos. I didn’t open any of the envelopes she left.” His eyes dropped, heavy with guilt. “Gwen, I’m so sorry. I know I asked you to trust me and stop reading her posts. This is something I should’ve told you about straight away.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“There was so much happening. The first time Kayleigh popped out of nowhere was when Zach and I met up for a run. I told her I had nothing to say to her. Then she left a note when my car was parked at the clinic…” He sagged against the counter.

“That was the morning I confronted Ian. I was going to tell you, I swear. Everything was completely out of control. My head was all over the place. The absolute last thing I was thinking about was Kayleigh.”

Nodding slowly, I let the details sink in. “Has she had access to your phone?” An ugly laugh echoed in the back of my mind. Of course Kayleigh’s talons had been hooked on his phone. How many times had she answered it for him at the clinic? Too many. “Does she know your passcode?”

Toby’s answer was barely a whisper. “Yes.”

“Okay.” I was surprised at how even my voice was despite the hurricane of emotions inside me. “Kayleigh might be tracking you via your phone.”

He shook off the shock and squared his shoulders. “I’ll get a new phone today.” He nodded as if confirming an order to be obeyed. “I’ll change all my passwords. Whatever it takes.”

“She might be tracking your car, too.”

“My…” He let out a rough breath. Realizing how serious this was seemed to hit him all at once. “What have I done to us? Gwen… Shit…”

“And what’s in there?” I nodded at the duffel sitting on the counter. “The notes? Can I take a look?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Toby seemed reluctant to let go of my hand, but after our fingers untangled, he hopped off the stool and unzipped the bag.

I peered over his shoulder. A mess of white paper and wilted flowers was stuffed inside.

I spotted the unopened envelopes. He stepped back like he couldn’t escape the bag fast enough.

I opened the cabinet underneath the sink and crouched to rummage through all the junk. My pink dish gloves were neatly folded in the back.

Toby’s brows furrowed. “Doing a bit of frustration cleaning?” His lips almost tipped into a smile.

“I don’t want to contaminate anything more than I have to.” I stuck my fingers in the gloves and snapped the ends around my wrists. No doubt, I looked ridiculous, but there weren’t many options. “This”—I waved a pink glove over the open duffel—“is all evidence.”

He sank onto the stool. “Oh,” he whispered. “I’d never think to do that.”

“I know.”

“You think I’m an idiot… Don’t you?”

“Not at all. You take people at their word. You’re trusting and always see the positives.” I nudged my shoulder into his side. “I like that about you.”

“You hate me.”

I shook my head. “I hate some of the things you’ve done. I don’t understand why you cheated on me, and it makes me angry and confused, and I lash out sometimes, but you, Toby… I always loved you.” And it hurt so much to admit that truth. “From the first minute I saw you.”

A smug smile spread across his face. “At the rugby game.”

“Way before that. On my first day of school, you were hanging around the front gate, throwing your ball around with the guys. Then, a few weeks later, you got your braces off.” I fanned myself, and Toby’s smile grew wider.

“For the longest time, I just thought you were a nice guy. I didn’t…

I never thought you would…” I shrugged away the insecurities eating at my insides, still confused about why Toby had chosen me over the other girls who’d hung off his every word.

“I chose you way before the match, too.” The skin hidden under his beard flushed a deep pink.

“I used to sneak around the library and hide behind the shelves to get a peek at you. You were so, so lovely, my Gwendolyn… And you only got better…” He leaned even closer and nuzzled his nose into the sleeve of my T-shirt. Strangely intimate. Somehow perfect.

“Okay, Romeo.” My tight smile barely masked how much his touch tingled over my skin. “Stop distracting me by being adorable. Let’s look at what we’re dealing with.”

Turning my head to avoid the smack of perfume wafting from the bag, I carefully plucked out Kayleigh’s notes one by one, pinching the corners and watching them drop and flutter into a neat pile on the counter. Wilted roses were stuck in between unopened envelopes.

Toby turned. “If it’s okay, I don’t want to see any photos.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I don’t want any more of her in my head.”

Copying his move, I nuzzled my nose into the back of his T-shirt. His head swiveled to show a soft but surprised smile before he focused his attention on making silly faces at Noah.

I took a deep breath. Let’s get this over with . After gently levering a knife to release the flap, I pried open the first envelope enough to peek inside.

A Polaroid.

I pinched the very edge of the photo between my fingers and slipped it out.

My eyes narrowed. The sultry gaze of the barely covered naked body of Kayleigh Roberts stared back at me.

The next envelope opened, and in the next photo, a little more skin showed.

The same for the next. And the next. A lock of dark hair secured with tiny pink ribbons had been sealed in the final envelope.

I tucked everything carefully away, and, sighing, I pulled my phone out of the waistband of my jeans.

Toby turned slightly. His eyebrow was up. “Doll, what are you—”

“Taking photos. Just in case, you know?”

Snapping photo after photo, I scanned the notes. Credit where credit was due, the doe-eyed sex kitten had beautiful penmanship. Her cursive was glossy and curled like she’d practiced the lettering a thousand times, the press of a kiss signing off each note.

I love you.

I doubted she knew the meaning of the words.

I dream about spending our lives together.

I didn’t doubt that at all. Pushing that note out of the way, I got my phone ready to take the next photo. A bolt of fear shot up my spine.

If I can’t have you, she can’t either.

The airplane noises Toby rumbled as he flew a banana over Noah’s highchair stopped. “What?” He rushed to my side, peering down at me with worried eyes. “Gwen, what’s wrong?”

“Did you…” I shook my head. My mouth was stuffed with sandpaper. “Did you read these notes?”

“Nope.”

My finger shook as I pointed to the creased paper. “Th—this one.”

Toby squinted for a moment as he read the black cursive. He’s taking too long. Nervous energy twitched through my veins, and every instinct screamed at me to do something.

“Toby, you need to talk to the police. No. We need to. I’m coming. I’ll help. I’ll make sure it’s handled properly. Quickly.” Without knowing what the hell I was doing, I dashed across the kitchen, heading for Noah’s highchair. “I’ve still got connections downtown. We’ll go right now—”

“Gwen.”

“ Now , Toby!” My voice was shrill, too high, the words screeching out too fast. The suffocating feeling tightening my chest only made my heart thump faster. “Right now!”

Toby stopped me before I reached Noah. His arm caught me around the waist, and even when I was babbling a thousand miles a second about everything we needed to do, he pulled me against his chest, whispering quiet words I couldn’t hear over the roar of my panicked thoughts.

“We don’t have time for this!” I shoved against him with all my strength. He didn’t budge. “We need to go!”

Toby’s voice was achingly soft. “I’ll talk to the police. I’ll go. I did this. I’ll fix it.” His big hand soothed up and down my back. “Calm down, Gwen.”

“ Calm down ? I can’t calm down!”

“I won’t let her hurt you.”

“Me? She’s going to hurt you! She’s threatening you! I can’t—I don’t—” All my fears about losing Toby crashed over me like a tidal wave. I scrubbed furiously at my eyes. My face was wet. At some point, I’d started crying, and now that the tears had started, they gushed down my cheeks.

I buried myself into the wall of Toby’s chest, my arms curling around him, my fingers digging into his sides.

“I’m scared,” I whispered. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You can chuck me out on the street, say every hurtful thing the big dictionary in your head can come up with, and even tell me the way I prune the roses is shit—I’m not going anywhere. And you know how proud I am of those roses, doll.” His lips pressed into my hair. “You’ll never lose me.”

“But I already did. You were all I ever had, Toby. You were mine, but you didn’t want me.

I wasn’t enough.” The dark void I’d always carefully locked shut had been flung open.

Every emotion I’d bottled up flooded out.

“You threw me away. For her.” I clung to him, the whimper of each painful sob muffled by the forbidden warmth of his chest. “You threw me away.”

Toby said nothing. His arms hugged tighter around me. But I felt it—the wet patch where his face pressed against mine.

I’d broken him, too.