35. He Held His Wife
He Held His Wife
Toby
“Toby.” Gwen’s voice was as small as the ball she’d tucked herself into on my lap. Swollen, red eyes lifted to meet mine. Tears still stained her cheeks, but her breaths didn’t come in gasps anymore. She was almost back to normal. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.” I wasn’t letting her feel bad for letting out all that pain. I shifted on the floor, tingles returning to my dead leg, but still cradling my girl against my chest. “You cry as much as you want.”
“I hate crying.”
I knew my strong Gwen didn’t like showing weakness. “I’m sorry I made you cry.”
I glanced over the top of her head to check on Noah.
Our happy little dude had no idea his brave mama was falling apart.
He was busy singing and painting his highchair—and himself—head to toe with yogurt.
When his big eyes blinked in our direction to make sure he was still numero uno , I scrunched up my face and poked out my tongue.
He squealed a delighted laugh and went back to his mess.
“It’s good to have a big cry sometimes,” I murmured, daring to kiss Gwen’s head. The hint of affection and the sniff of peach shampoo were simple pleasures I still hadn’t earned. I’d missed holding Gwen so much.
“Says who?”
“Smart people,” I said. “You’re still perfect even if you need to have a big cry.”
“I’m the furthest thing from perfect.” Her voice was small again. Did she not want me to hear her, or did she not want to admit it to herself?
“You’re perfect to me and Noah. Not because you always have your shit together, but because you’re…” I shrugged. “Just you.”
“Really?”
“Yep. Times a hundred.”
A tiny smirk danced on her lips. “Only one hundred?”
“Overachiever.” I exaggerated an eye roll. “How about infinity, then?”
“Infinity works.” The big smile she beamed up at me faded. “Thanks for, you know…not being weird about…” She bit down on her lip.
“Gwen, look at me.” Her eyes lifted, wary, and I reassured her with a soft stroke of her cheek.
“There’s nothing weird about what happened, okay?
No one—not even you—can shoulder everyone’s shit all the time.
” I booped her nose. “Push the blame to me. My job is to support you, and I dropped that ball a long time ago.”
She disagreed with a soft shake of her head. “You can’t take all the blame. Maybe about Kayleigh, but not about other things. We could’ve avoided a lot of problems if we’d talked. I’m just as guilty of bottling stuff up as you are.”
“I can’t argue when you hit me with those facts, Lawyer Mama.”
“No, you can’t, Handsome Goofball.”
“Ouch. More facts,” I grinned. “Especially the handsome part.” The waggle of my eyebrows only sharpened her glare. I laughed. “Need some more not-weird crying time?”
She shook her head.
“In that case,” I said, “I should probably rescue the highchair from Noah and his yogurt. Want me to make you a coffee first? Run you a bath?”
Gwen pushed against my chest to force more distance between us. “I want to go to the police.”
I took a deep breath to slow down my mouth before I said something dumb.
“I’m hearing you loud and clear, doll.” I fought even harder to keep my tone neutral.
This was progress. The last thing we needed was to charge off to our separate corners without talking again.
“Tell me if I’m on the right track, okay?
I didn’t deal with Kayleigh properly, and now it’s out of control.
You’re worried. You want it fixed, and you want to be there with me to make sure it’s done right. ”
Her nod was firm. “Exactly.”
“Let’s figure out a game plan, then.”
Her eyes narrowed. “We go to the police. Done. That’s the plan.”
Those words were music to my ears. I was like Gwen—a doer. But I forced myself to ignore every muscle screaming at me to go, go, go!
“Hear me out?” I asked cautiously.
Her eyebrow rose, but she waited.
“We’ve got two options,” I said. “One. We go to the cops today. Noah’s fever is down, but I don’t want to drag him to the station until all hours of the night.
He needs cuddles and sleep.” I glanced at him, groaning when he flipped the yogurt bowl onto his head.
“And probably a bath.” I laughed. “Now, I’m more than willing to call in favors to get someone to look after him for a couple of hours.
Marnie’s been dropping an awful lot of hints about me repainting her studio. ” I grinned. “I can be bribed.”
“What’s your second option?” Gwen hedged.
“We go tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow!”
“I know it’s your day in the office—”
She snorted. “I’m not at my brother’s beck and call. He’ll have to deal with me being late. I want this sorted. Yesterday . So, explain how stuffing around for another day helps the situation.”
“Don’t you always say building a good case comes down to the prep work? I won’t be sitting around on my ass today, twiddling my thumbs. I’ll be smart about this and think things through. I want to understand exactly what we’re dealing with.”
“By…?”
“Well, first… I need to eliminate some of the worries about Kayleigh. I’m going to take your car out to grab a new phone. I know shit all about tech, but after that, I’m going on a deep dive of internet research to see if I can figure out if she put a tracker on my car—”
“That could be evidence—”
“Yeah. I won’t touch anything. I want to know if one’s there.
I’ll also get the locksmith to come out in case Kayleigh’s messed with my keys or something.
I’ll change all my passwords. Once all that’s done, I’m going to put on your sexy pink gloves, go through all the crap she left on the car, read it, and then pack it up so it’s safe.
Not the, uh, photos, though.” I resisted the urge to retch—just barely.
“I wasn’t kidding about not wanting any images of her in my brain.
But I’ll write down everything I remember—dates, places, what she said—and get the chain of events clear in my head. ”
The heavy line pinched between Gwen’s eyes disappeared. “You’ve thought about this.”
I spied a hint of something in her eyes. Pride . I was being organized and thinking things through. She approved. I gave myself a mental high-five. I’d finally done something right.
“I don’t want to stuff this up,” I said. “I want to walk into the cops prepared. I want them to take me seriously. So, if Noah’s okay tomorrow, we can drop him off at daycare and go to the station together. Sound good?”
“No.”
“Because it’s not right now?”
Her lips flattened, and she fired a red-hot glare at me. That was a yes.
“I see that face, doll.” I booped her nose again.
I was surprised she didn’t bite my finger off.
“I’ll be totally honest with you. Right now, I want to fold because you’re pissed off at me, and more than anything, I want you to be happy.
But I’m going to be stubborn about this. I think it’s the right move to wait.”
Gwen was quiet for a minute, fidgeting with the button on her jeans as she dissected my plan. “I hate to admit this, but…” Her sigh was heavy. “I think you’re right.”
“Whaaaaat?” I covered my mouth in fake shock.
“Oh, har har.” She rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of a smile on her lips. “Tomorrow?”
I sealed our agreement with a firm nod. “Tomorrow.”
I did everything I said I would.
I made a list, and even though Gwen hovered, shooting me a questioning look from time to time, she left me to sort the mess out for myself.
And I did.
The day wasn’t all stalkers and wrangling my battle plan.
I slipped in plenty of fun, too. Noah splashed in the bath.
He enjoyed tummy time and rocked and rolled on his knees like he was ready to crawl any second but never quite got going.
We skipped Stroller Squad—babies with fevers were a “hell no”—so I packed a bag, hauled the stroller out of the trunk, and dragged Gwen outside when I took Noah for a walk.
I treasured those snippets of family time most of all. I’d never realized how important spending time with my crew was until I’d almost lost them forever.
Gwen shuffled into the nursery after dinner. She smiled when she saw Noah settling on my chest, but her gaze dropped, and she dug her toe into the fluffy tufts of the rug.
“I was going to ask…” She nibbled on her bottom lip. “Tell me if you’re uncomfortable, but could you maybe, um… sleep in the bedroom tonight? I just, um… I’m not sure if I can sleep…on my own…”
I said, “Yeah, of course,” like it was no big deal, but I wanted to race outside, rip my shirt off, and howl at the moon.
Gwen wanted me in the bed. With her.
I floated on cloud nine as I quietly closed the nursery door, took a shower, threw on some pajamas, brushed my teeth—twice—and wandered down the hallway.
Every muscle in my body froze in the doorway to our bedroom.
The room was dark, but the streetlights outside filtered through the curtains. A halo glowed around Gwen as she padded to the bed. My mouth went dry. She wore an oversized gray T-shirt that hung baggy to her mid-thigh. I tugged at the collar of my shirt. Holy heck .
Gwen’s head turned, but I couldn’t see her eyes. “New pajamas?” There was a smile in her voice.
“I, uh…” I yanked my shirt down as low as possible over the blue and white striped bottoms. “Yeah.”
She bent over, one knee on the bed to steady herself as she fluffed the pillows on the other side. Her T-shirt hiked up just enough for a flash of pink cotton knickers. My eyes went wider than saucers.
Gwen’s head turned again. “You alright?” she asked.
I swallowed. “Ye–yeah.”
She jerked her chin at the bed. “Come on.”
I didn’t move. I was about to be banished to the guest room. For sure. Think pure thoughts . Um… Mowers. Baby puke. That cake Marnie made one time. She said it was chocolate, but no kind of chocolate tasted that bad.
“Toby?”
I took a steadying breath and stepped away from the doorframe. “No matter what you see, uh—” I tugged nervously on my T-shirt. “Just don’t worry about it, okay?”
“What on earth are you—”