Chapter Thirty-eight
After looking at the first two houses, I have little hope that Blake will find the perfect one. His expectations are high, and his wants, many. A large open floor plan. Gourmet kitchen. More bedrooms than he and Maisy could ever use. And number one on his list: a large, safe yard. In this small town, he may be looking for a unicorn.
He’s got enough money that he could build his dream home. But I get the idea he’s not keen on waiting the year or so it might take to make that happen.
When we follow his realtor, Dennis, to the final property, I sit a little straighter in the passenger seat of Blake’s car. This house is in a cul-de-sac. At first sight, it looks promising. Three-car garage. Privacy fence surrounding a back yard, the top of a play structure peaking tall above it.
Then we pass a sign. A road sign. Blake and I look at each other in both excitement and surprise.
Deaf Child Area
It makes sense. This neighborhood backs up to the far end of the Deaf school property where the athletic fields are. He could walk her to school—that is, if he’s going to continue sending her there for kindergarten. I know he’s weighing the pros and cons of public school. Both schools have their merits. Though, in Maisy’s case, with her being behind in all language skills, I believe she’d be better served at my school. Then again, I may be a bit biased. More importantly, though, he has to make the decision. I’m not here to influence, just inform.
The added bonus to this house, assuming the deaf child in the area isn’t the one moving, is that Maisy could have a playmate. It could be exactly what Blake had hoped for and more.
He doesn’t say anything. Maybe he’s trying not to jinx it. I can tell he has high hopes for this one. After all, if this one doesn’t work, he either has to search outside the town, build a house, or wait for more to come on the market.
We park behind Dennis on the street in front of the house. He has a conversation with Blake, but his bushy mustache makes it hard for me to read his lips. Blake’s vocabulary has expanded so much, and he does his best to sign when he can. The man must study ASL like it’s his second job.
“Lots of renovations,” Blake says directly to me, obviously impressed with what he’s hearing.
I see movement in the yard to the left. In front of a slightly smaller house is a boy and either his babysitter or mother. He’s laughing as the woman tickles him. She kisses him on the head. Hmm… mother then.
When I turn back to Blake, he’s still talking to the realtor. But then he stops abruptly, his head tipping sideways and his jaw hanging open as he gazes behind me. He touches my arm. “Look,” he signs.
My heart catches in my throat, and I one hundred percent know he’s going to buy this house before even setting foot inside as Blake and I watch the little boy sign with his mother.
She tells him to stay away from the street, especially since there are cars right here. When she sees us staring, she waves.
I smile and sign, “Your boy signs very well.”
Now it’s her jaw on the pavement. For a few seconds, it seems her head is trying to wrap around the situation. She takes the boy’s hand and walks over.
“I’m Kelly Freeman,” she signs, fingerspelling her name slowly. “This is Brayden.”
“I’m Ellie,” I sign.
“Deaf?” she asks, her lips not moving as she signs.
“Yes,” I sign.
Her smile is a mile wide. “Me too.” She turns her head slightly and shows me her cochlear implant. “Brayden too. My husband is hearing. Yours?”
Heat crosses my face. “This is Blake Montana. We’re not married. The house would be for him.”
Her eyes meet the ground for a moment, all excitement having left them.
“This is Kelly and Brayden,” I sign slowly to Blake. “They are both deaf.”
Blake’s eyes seem to dance between them before settling on Brayden, who is half standing behind his mother. “How old are you?” Blake signs.
The boy looks up at his mother who gives him an encouraging nod. Then he holds up five fingers.
I have to bite back tears. Because I couldn’t have scripted anything more perfectly. I mean, Blake might as well sign the contract now, sight unseen. I know anything inside the house he doesn’t like, he can change. But having neighbors like this… it could mean all the difference for Maisy.
“My daughter is four,” he says and signs. “She’s deaf.”
Brayden’s eyes sparkle and he seems to come out of his shell. He tugs on his mom’s shirt to get her attention. I can tell she’s almost as excited as her son. He asks her, “Are they going to live in Mike’s house?”
Kelly signs, “Mike was one of the children who lived here. He and his family moved out last week. We were hoping for another family. But this is beyond our wildest dreams.”
I look at Blake, impressed that he seems to have understood some of what she signed. She’s signing quickly, obviously not knowing Blake’s limitations.
I want to tell her that we haven’t even seen the house yet, but I don’t. I don’t because I know based on Blake’s expression that it won’t matter if it’s covered in dinosaur wallpaper and has a disco ball in the bedroom.
“Is it just the two of them?” Kelly asks.
I nod. I don’t miss the scowl on Blake’s face. Maybe he thinks we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
Brayden tugs on Kelly’s shirt again and signs, “Will she play with me?”
Kelly explains to him that Blake hasn’t bought the house, that he’s just looking. That maybe he will, but he might not. Brayden looks at Blake with determination and marches over to him, signing much faster than I know Blake can keep up with. “You live here,” he signs. “She can play with me. Mommy bakes cookies. She can eat them.”
I go to tell Blake what the boy said, but he stops me. “I got this,” he says. Then he signs to Brayden, “You sign very well.”
Brayden beams with pride.
“I don’t sign very well,” Blake signs slowly. “I’m learning. My daughter, Maisy, is learning too.”
“I can teach you,” Brayden signs with enthusiasm.
“We’d like that.”
Blake excuses himself to have a short conversation with Dennis, then motions to the house. We say our goodbyes to Kelly and Brayden and make our way inside. I let Dennis give his spiel to Blake and leave them in the kitchen as I wander the place by myself. It’s completely empty, meticulously clean, and… ticks every single one of Blake’s boxes.
A few minutes later, Blake snakes an arm around me as I look out over the expansive deck, summer kitchen, and back yard that puts all others to shame. There’s no pool, but plenty of room for one. A play structure sits in one corner of the yard. A fire pit in the other. And at least a half-acre of grass in between. I can almost see Maisy and Brayden kicking around a soccer ball.
He squeezes my waist. “Did you see the bedroom at the top of the stairs?” he asks.
“Mike had a sister,” I sign. “And she loves pink as much as Maisy.”
The bedroom is just one more sign on a long list of signs that makes this the perfect place for them.
“If you don’t buy this house, you are crazy,” I sign.
“I don’t know. I think I need more time to decide. Wait here.”
He goes into the kitchen where Dennis is typing away on his phone, giving us space. They have a conversation and then Dennis waves at me and walks out the front door.
My brows sling low, curiosity getting the better of me.
“I suggested he go to Donovan’s for a cup of coffee while we stay here and think about it.” He pulls me close, wraps me in his arms and kisses me.
“What are you doing?” I sign.
“You remember what I said you’d get if you looked at houses with me? If I’m going to buy it, we might as well - - - it.”
I shake my head, not having understood.
“Christen,” he fingerspells. Then he does the sign for sex.
Butterflies dance in my stomach and my heart begins thrumming wildly. I glance around the empty house. “Here? Now?”
Before he can answer, his shirt is off. Then his shoes. Then his pants and boxer briefs. And as promised, he’s standing gloriously naked in front of me. All six-feet-two of him.
I’m a guarded person. I rarely take the bull by the horns. Except when it comes to him apparently, because my entire body is humming in anticipation. Because he’s got good… horn.
His penis hardens as he stares at me, and my mouth waters as if it’s a juicy steak. Without breaking eye contact, I unbutton my blouse and unclasp my bra, letting both flutter to the floor. I expect him to look at my breasts, but he doesn’t. His eyes don’t stray from mine. Not even when I toe off my shoes and then slip off my jeans and underwear.
We’re both naked, two feet of nothing between us. His gaze is intense as he continues to stare at me. It’s as if the two of us have adopted a third language, one that has us speaking only with our eyes. And what his eyes are saying both scares and excites me. I melt under his perusal. Heat flushes my center. Tingles work up and down my spine.
He steps forward, closing the gap between us, and presses his body to mine until we’re nothing but skin on skin. His penis throbs against my stomach, as hungry and demanding as his lips when they capture mine.
I spring myself up and into his arms and he holds me tightly, his hands under my butt. He groans something into my mouth. I think it was words. I lean back and focus on his lips, but all he does is shake his head, almost like he said something I wasn’t meant to hear. I try not to let it bother me, and I get over it quickly when he lowers us onto the living room carpet and takes one of my breasts in his mouth.
Oh my God. I can’t believe we’re doing this here. What if Dennis comes back? What if another person comes to see the house?
When two fingers sink inside me, I decide I don’t care. And when his tongue finds my clit, I come instantly, amused at just how quickly it happened.
Blake laughs as he climbs my body. “Someone likes… danger.” He doesn’t know the sign for danger, so I show him.
Then I crane my neck toward the front door. “Better not push our luck.”
He reaches for his pants and gets a condom from his wallet. “I’ll be quick then. Not as quick as you.” He chuckles again.
I tug on his penis a few times, then guide him inside me, savoring the feeling I’ve been missing every night when I go to bed and dream of him. I’ve never dreamed of a man like I do Blake. When I wake up, though, reality always hits me.
Beth keeps telling me men can change. But she doesn’t get it. None of them do. I know exactly what this is, and I’ve resigned myself to enjoying it as long as it lasts. The fact that I love him is an inconsequential detail. An unfortunate realization I’ll have to deal with.
I couldn’t help it. I’m not even sure exactly when it happened. Maybe the first time I saw him, even though I denied it for so long. But you can’t help your feelings. You can’t choose who you fall in love with. And I’m in love with him—a man I know I can never be with in the long run.
But I have this. Today. Now. And maybe tomorrow too. And I’ll enjoy him. His smile. His body. His daughter, for at least another day.
His thrusts become more forceful, keeping up a punishing rhythm that tickles the very spot that has me moaning with pleasure once more. Maybe he’s right. Maybe the thought of being caught has heightened my senses. Because my insides coil and burn with another impending climax, this time without him even pinching a nipple or touching my clit. My hips buck as I explode with a violent orgasm as he grunts into my shoulder, shuddering with his own release.
He rolls off me and stares at the ceiling, his chest rising and falling quickly with each breath. He removes the condom and sets it aside, but he didn’t tie it, so it leaks. I point to the glob on the newly cleaned carpet.
His chest bounces with laughter. “Well, I have to buy the house now.”
I laugh too, feeling vibrations in my throat that let me know it’s audible.
He stares at me. He likes when I make noise. I sigh and turn to look out the window, but he tugs me back against him and cuddles me in the middle of this huge empty house.
His arms snake around me and he signs in front of my face, “One thing missing here.”
I turn and face him, motioning at our surroundings. “This house has everything,” I sign. “What else could you need?”
“You,” he signs silently, pointing a finger between my breasts.
My eyebrows collide above the center of my nose.
“You’re what’s missing,” he says. “Live here with me. With us.”
My heart pumps uncontrollably, wondering if I read his lips correctly. “Sign it,” I request.
“You live here,” he signs as my heart stops beating altogether at his suggestion.
He looks nervous now. More nervous than I’ve ever seen him. I watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. Then, without moving his lips, he points to himself, crosses his arms over his heart, then points to me.
I blink over and over, because I’m sure this isn’t happening.
When I don’t move, because I’m literally frozen, he does it again, this time using words along with signs. “I love you, Ellie.”
My heart soars and breaks at the very same time.
Finally, I move, reaching for my clothes and gathering them against me as if they will somehow protect me from his words.
I dress quickly. He doesn’t. He just watches and waits. He waits for me to say it back. But I can’t.
I want to.
But I can’t.
All I can do is turn and stare into the back yard knowing this is the inevitable moment I’ve dreaded. I just didn’t know it would come with a declaration of love. One that has knocked the wind out of me. But I knew this moment would happen sooner or later. A part of me, okay all of me, hoped it would be later. Much later.
I look back at him and shake my head sadly, my eyes lying to him as much as my thoughts are lying to me.