CHAPTER 19
Anna
“You’re Anna, right?” He glanced over his shoulder, looking around. He was only about twenty years old with an entitled frat boy look about him. He was one of the few riders who spoke English without a trace of a European accent. Another American maybe.
“Yes.” She didn’t like how he scanned her from top to bottom and that when he spoke, he stared at her chest.
He shuffled his feet. “I’ve got twenty Euros. Do I pay before or after?” His hand dipped into his pocket.
“Before or after what?” What the hell was he talking about?
“My blowjob,” he said, leaning in, clearly checking that their conversation wouldn’t be overheard.
The idea rammed her heart into her throat, and her stomach clenched. She needed to get away from this creep. Spencer had probably put him up to this. Just when she’d thought he couldn’t go lower.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She tried pushing past him.
Spencer’s friend matched her side-step, blocking her path once more.
This time he grabbed her arm. Panic rose in her at the unwanted contact and the implied threat.
“Spencer said you would take care of me between practices or races. If the price has gone up, I’m okay with it.
You look like you give good head.” His words confirmed who was at the root of this encounter.
Her eyes overflowed. “You must be mistaken.” She ripped her arm from his grasp.
Her chest heaved as she said, “This must be Spencer’s idea of a joke, but it isn’t funny.
” She escaped and dashed into the back of the LCR team garage where he was unlikely to follow.
She leaned against the wall, trying to get control of her tears as it became hard to breathe.
She fought the oncoming meltdown. Her lungs ached, and she pressed the back of her icy hand in turn against each of her flaming cheeks.
She didn’t want everyone on the team to know that she’d been crying.
Reminding herself that she didn’t have to deal with things like this alone, she slunk into the box and caught Isaac’s eye where he was debriefing after his FP2 session with Angel.
Isaac must have seen her distress because he stood up immediately. “I’ve got something I need to take care of. Can we continue this in the morning?”
“I think we’ve covered everything,” said Angel glancing in her direction. “You’re free for the evening. If I think of something else, I’ll send a text, or we can talk in the morning.”
“Thanks.” Isaac strode across the garage to meet Anna. He lowered his voice as they moved further into the back where they could be alone. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
An image of Spencer’s ugly leer flashed through her mind and with it, the ghost of his hand on her throat. She should have shared what had happened in Germany and now it was too late. How did she explain her lack of action?
Trembling, she related what had happened just now.
As she spoke, the vice around her chest increased, and her words became gasps.
She didn’t use any names, afraid of what Isaac might do.
Her tears came rushing back, and it took hard work to meet his blazing eyes.
By the end of her account, she was sobbing.
“Spencer has gone too far,” growled Isaac. He was furious, even if it wasn’t directed at her.
Her head shot up and her eyes narrowed. “How did you know Spencer was involved?” Her words came out as a yell, and she clamped her lips together, the meltdown sneaking up no matter how hard she tried to keep it at bay.
Isaac tried to pull her into a hug, but she stepped back.
Through her blurred vision, his flinty eyes met her stare and remained hard as he looked away first. He’d known.
Her heart drummed against her ribs, and she fought the urge to run away.
Isaac might not know the extent of Spencer’s actions, but he’d heard something, perhaps rumors, and hadn’t told her.
“Let’s go to my trailer,” he said. “I can see you’re upset. You can calm down there.”
Upset was an understatement. Calm down? She’d been blind-sided, so she fixated on anger instead of fear, lashing out. “How long have you known?” Her voice emerged louder than intended despite her gasping breath.
Isaac reached for her again, and she crossed her arms, tight to her body as she tried to control the shaking and stepped further away. “How long?” Her voice shook as she wrapped her mind around his lack of surprise.
“Just before Vince’s accident,” he said, the words dragging one at a time. “Spencer told Vince last spring. When my brother and I made up in Assen, he told me. I thought I’d handled it.”
“Handled it? You’ve had almost two months, and you didn’t think to tell me what was being said?” Her voice rose again, and her chest tightened to the point she couldn’t draw a breath. She couldn’t believe they were fighting.
“Anna, my love. You’re distressed. Let’s go somewhere quiet where we can talk.” Now he looked rattled.
She hadn’t meant to make him upset, and it just made the out-of-control feeling worse.
“You had no right to keep that from me. It’s dishonest. You tell me to trust you, but you kept something that concerns me, to yourself.
That’s not fair.” She wasn’t being fair either, she had kept her encounters with Spencer from him, but she couldn’t make herself stop shouting.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want your feelings hurt or to make you upset. I was trying to help. To save you from having to talk to Spencer and make him stop harassing you.” He remained calm while her emotions churned.
“Too bad. Spencer’s terrifying and gross. You withheld information.” She wasn’t sure she was making sense. Why hadn’t she listened and gone somewhere else? She clenched her fists at her sides, trying not to flail. This was as bad as she’d been in a long time.
“You withhold things,” he said, a flush sweeping over his face.
Defensive anger surged through her body. He was right.
“Things about myself or my past,” she spoke between sobs. “Things that embarrass me. I don’t want to talk about Adam taking advantage of me. Or what happened to me as a child. What my parents did.”
Isaac stepped back, his eyes wide. She was still being unfair. She’d never told him anything about her parents. That wasn’t something she ever spoke about. Instead, she wielded her past like a weapon—her words sharp-edged.
“No, but…” began Isaac, his face paler except the hectic spots on his cheeks.
“Not but. This is different.” From the contrite look on his face, he was sorry he hadn’t shared what he knew, but she was still angry.
“Can I explain?” He took on a pleading tone.
“Not right now. I’m going to be on my own for a bit. Maybe stay with Catarina.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I should have told you.” He stretched a hand toward her. “Don’t go away upset.”
Anna flinched. “Please leave me alone. I need to think.” She ignored Isaac’s outstretched hand and stricken face. She wanted to be alone. Not only was she upset about Spencer and his rumors, but she’d lashed out at Isaac and didn’t know how to take it back.
She ran for his trailer and locked the door before sliding to the floor and letting the meltdown continue, wracking sobs and screams that overwhelmed everything for the duration. She wished she’d let Isaac hold her, but she was too embarrassed to go back. He hadn’t followed, respecting her wishes.
When she was once more under control, she washed her face and sent Catarina a text, grateful she had another friend. Her hands still shook, and her throat felt raw.
“Had a fight with Isaac. Can I stay with you tonight?”
The reply was quick. “Of course. My door is always open for you. Where are you?”
Her hands shook as she typed. “Locked in Isaac’s trailer.”
“I’m still at the track. I’ll come get you. We can go for dinner.”
Anna twirled her ring and leaned her head back against the wall.
Another text came in. “Girl’s Night. You can fill me in.”
“Thank you.” Anna didn’t have long to wait before there was a tap on the door.
“It’s me,” her friend said. “Are you okay?”
Anna opened the door, grabbed her purse, and the two of them climbed into a taxi. It was a relief to get away without seeing anyone. The MotoGP riders were still busy signing autographs.
After a subdued dinner, she and Catarina returned to the hotel, and they went up to the hotel room that Anna shared with Isaac.
She needed to collect her clothes and her toothbrush but didn’t want to run into Isaac alone.
She wasn’t ready to speak to him—afraid all she would do was cry or make things worse.
She was ashamed of how she’d reacted to news about his help.
She listened at the door, but inside was quiet, without sounds of the TV or of movement.
It seemed empty. She flicked on a light and gathered her belongings, stuffing them into her suitcase.
She hurried so she wouldn’t be interrupted.
Already she was as much ashamed as angry.
Maybe she should stay and talk things out.
Try to explain she’d already been upset and had handled her meltdown poorly.
When something was difficult, she gravitated to Isaac. More than anything she wanted one of his hugs.
They headed downstairs to Catarina’s room.
Catarina hadn’t pushed her for details about Spencer, but her friend had been livid about the blowjobs for money stunt.
Several times, Anna tried to talk about the elevator proposition and the assault in Germany by the trailers, but her throat stuck, and her voice failed.
She was too embarrassed by how she’d handled things on her own. She should have reported him.
Seeing her distress, Catarina said, “You can stay with me the rest of the weekend and in Cervera too if you want. I have room. When you’re ready to tell me the rest, I’m here.”