Chapter 15
Icould still taste her on my lips.
That was all I could think about while I took the call with HQ.
“Starlane was alerted to a power anomaly aboard your ship. I am checking in as part of standard protocol,” the automated agent on the comm relayed in a flat tone. “What is your status?”
“There was a glitch with the thermal regulator sensor. It reported a circuit board was blown out and a microfluidics conduit was cracked, but our engineer was able to confirm that both were intact and working properly and noted it as an issue with the system, which is being rebooted and debugged,” I lied.
If Starlane discovered Lark had repaired the engine while it had been running, the entire ship would be recalled and the crew would be at risk of termination, me most of all.
The thing about Starlane is that they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. By assigning such rigorous shipment schedules, they practically ensured that shady shit like this would happen aboard their contracted vessels.
And truly, they didn’t care, but they didn’t want to know about it. So when asked, they had plausible deniability and could point to their piles of standards and codes and claim innocence from any wrongdoing, while throwing their contractors under the proverbial bus.
So I, and every other captain, played this game of blaming sensors and systems, and Starlane pretended that they believed us, and everyone went about their business.
“Please submit an incident report within the next twenty-four hours,” the agent requested.
“Affirmative,” I agreed and ended the call.
“Assholes,” muttered Ethan. He was lounging sideways at Jordan’s station, his legs thrown over the armrest of her chair. She’d be furious if he messed with any of the settings, which meant he definitely had.
“They’re just following procedure.” Cassidy sat at his regular station, but his form was slouched.
He’d been furious when I’d given Lark the order to fix the engine, and clearly hadn’t yet forgiven me for the transgression.
Normally he wasn’t one to hold a grudge, but nobody on this ship ever stood up for Starlane, so I knew his comment was about something else… or rather, someone else.
“She made it work,” I stated, sinking into my own captain’s chair at the back of the bridge.
“She was fucking bleeding when she came up here,” Cassidy fumed, eyes blazing.
He was right. She’d been injured, and it was my fault. “She’s fine; I patched her up in my office.”
“Oh, is that what you two were doing in there?” Ethan grunted a laugh, ignoring the tension roiling between Cassidy and me. “Y’all started out real loud and then it got real quiet.” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
“Don’t talk about my wife!” I snapped.
Ethan let out a deafening chuckle, further diffusing the mood on the bridge.
Cassidy stood from his station. “I need to take care of a few things below,” he announced, not bothering to give me a glance as he left, and making it clear that he didn’t want to be around any discussions about Lark and me, leaving me wondering if he was jealous.
The way he’d made sure I was aware he’d known Lark as a child felt odd at the time, but maybe their youthful friendship meant something more to him.
She still hadn’t mentioned it at all to me, so I assumed it hadn’t had the same effect on her, although she and I hadn’t been on the best of terms, so I supposed she wouldn’t have confided anything in me, even if I’d given her the chance.
Maybe I was the jealous one… The thought was sobering.
“What crawled up his ass?” Ethan asked after the bridge door had slipped shut behind Cassidy. “Good thing you’ve got an exception with your hot little wifey, or I would have thought Cass had a crush on your girl.”
I narrowed my eyes at Ethan, although he’d spoken my exact fears aloud. “What did I just say?” I ground out.
“How far’d you get in your office before he interrupted?” Ethan gave me a big, toothy, shit-eating grin, having far too much fun riling me up. He was like the older brother I’d never asked for—an absolute menace, but unfortunately with a heart of gold that people rarely saw in action.
“I’m not answering that.” I picked up my comm and began reviewing the most recent system diagnostics to look for any other odd patterns that might indicate future issues like what we’d just experienced.
Ethan just laughed again and returned to fiddling with Jordan’s station.
Always one to use jokes and laughter as a way to keep others at a distance, I understood Ethan’s need to keep people at arm’s length.
Like the rest of the crew on the Radiant, he’d had his share of struggles.
Similar to everyone else on the ship, Natalie being the usual exception, he preferred to keep quiet about his past.
I didn’t know much about Ethan, but what I did know was that despite the bravado, he’d do anything to keep the Radiant’s crew safe, even at his own expense. And that was a man I wanted on my side.
With the bridge bathed in relative silence, my mind returned to Lark and what had transpired in my office. The anger I’d felt when she’d used my first name had been so palpable. I hated sharing my father’s first name.
Anytime someone slipped up and used it, it felt like a punch to the gut, bringing back memories of my mother in her last days, fighting the illness that had taken her, pulling me close and repeatedly saying that I was “her Damian,” knowing full well that my namesake had never belonged to her.
I was all she had left of the man she’d loved more than life itself, but who had so easily abandoned her and his son. It made me sick.
Hearing my first name from Lark’s lips had thrown me into a haze of anger.
I hadn’t meant to drag her well across the bridge into the office, but I didn’t want to have a screaming match with her in front of the others.
It was bad enough they’d seen what they had, and no doubt the rest of the crew already knew a version of what had happened, via Cassidy.
She’d slapped me and I’d been angry, but I’d also known I’d deserved it, and then I saw the blood.
Truth be told, her injuries could have been so much worse, but that didn’t make me feel like any less of an asshole for being the one responsible for them in the first place. I was thankful I kept first aid supplies in my desk and even more so that she allowed me to dress her wounds.
I’d intentionally gotten on the floor to show her, with actions as well as words, how sorry I was, and that I understood I was not above her. Perhaps in rank, but not in that room, not in that moment.
I hadn’t expected her to kiss me—couldn’t even imagine she’d open up to me again after everything I’d put her through, but she’d pulled me in.
Like gravity, I suddenly found myself in her orbit, helpless to pull away.
Ethan joked about Cassidy having a crush on Lark, but it was me he should have been worrying about.
Years of repressed desire came forth. I’d never wanted any woman the way I wanted Lark Sterling.
I wanted her so much it scared me. The way she’d rolled her hips against me still had me half hard, and thanks to Cassidy, I hadn’t even gotten the chance to do much else than allow her to dry hump me, while I took the opportunity to let my mouth explore the expanse of her creamy skin.
I recalled Lark the night before in those innocent white panties and tank top and thought of all the other places I needed to explore. Would she be able to forgive me for making a bad call and putting her in danger?
My head was spinning. This woman had me completely discombobulated. There was a storm of thoughts coursing through my consciousness.
Was there even still a chance she’d want to work with me on the mission? I hadn’t gotten the chance to tell her I’d changed my mind, everything happened so fast. I hoped she wouldn’t think what unfolded in my office swayed things.
She was right that I’d let Sully have the run of the place when it came to maintenance, and I should have done a better job of monitoring the situation.
I needed to have a serious conversation with her about her recommendations for part replacements so we would be more prepared for the next thing that failed.
Lark was also right that I had been shortsighted to chase schedule bonuses because I was responsible for buying those parts, not Starlane, since I was just a contractor. And even on the secondhand market, ship components weren’t cheap.
Why hadn’t I listened to her? All of this could have been avoided. My regret was manifesting through another headache, suffusing through every muscle in my body.
I didn’t have long left on my shift and then I would see her again, and my eagerness to be in that small room, alone, with her, wearing next to nothing, was palpable.
If I was smart, I’d keep things professional. We had a high-profile mission to work together.
But she’d kissed me. She’d made it very clear that she wanted me. So why wasn’t I allowed to want her back? I had never been one to be selfish, like the good soldier I’d been trained to be. But where had that gotten me?
Alone.
If things had gone differently, I could have lost her, due to my own stupidity and poor leadership.
I’d been avoiding her for too long, in a shitty attempt to ignore what was building inside, this desire I’d never felt the likes of, that was turning me inside out.
I’d tried to ignore her and how she made me feel, but after kissing her again, I knew that would be impossible going forward.
I didn’t want to come on too strong, or scare her off, but in that moment, I decided to tell Lark I wanted to give this thing—whatever it was—a real shot, and see where it went and see what she had to say on the matter.
The only problem was that when I finally made it down to my quarters, Lark was nowhere to be found.