Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Luna
I stop by my apartment to pack an overnight bag since I’m going to stay at Rage’s tonight.
It’s our first sleepover at his place and I can’t decide if I’m nervous or excited.
Probably both. Nervous because I don’t know what to expect.
What his apartment is like, where anything is, or if I’ll be comfortable.
At the same time, there’s an edge of excitement because we’re starting to get more intimate, and I’m not talking about the bedroom, though that’s happening too.
But we talk a lot, have begun making plans for future dates and adventures, and it feels like what started as a physical attraction is turning into something else. Something genuine.
That’s why I have to tell him about my past.
Tonight.
“There you are, dear!” My neighbor, Mrs. Carbione, comes running out with a smile, holding a package.
She’s eighty-five and keeps me updated on everything going on in the building when I’m not home.
“The mailman dropped this off. I’ve been watching for you, didn’t want anyone to walk off with it.
You know how the kids in the building can be. ”
“I do,” I say, taking it from her. “Thank you for holding on to it. I wonder what it is.”
“Didn’t you order anything?”
I try to remember if I did—sometimes I get a little crazy online shopping. But not the last week or two. “I don’t think so.”
I definitely didn’t order anything, so I study the package suspiciously.
She glances at me. “Is everything okay?”
“Oh, yes. Of course. I’m just curious what it is.” I scoop up the package. “See you later, Mrs. C!”
I let myself into my apartment and disarm my fancy new alarm. I stare at the package warily. Should I open it or bring it to Rage’s place and open it with him?
Just thinking that makes me want to roll my eyes. I’m not the damsel in distress type, but I’m starting to feel paranoid and it’s ridiculous. Whatever this is, it came addressed to me, via the United States Postal Service.
The only weird thing is that there’s no return address, just like the last one, and with a grunt of frustration, I decide not to wait. I rip open the package and inside is a black satin stuffed heart. Something you might see on Valentine’s Day, except in black.
No note, no nothing. Just a black heart.
Fucking Roger.
Is he trying to be funny, insinuating my heart is black? That’s hilarious.
Not.
I scowl, tossing it across the room.
He’s still sulking, I guess.
There’s a part of me that wants to call him right now and ask him what the fuck is wrong with him. But what good is giving him the attention he obviously wants?
Unless…what if it’s not Roger?
I just can’t think of anyone else who would send me these weird gifts?
First, the black roses, now the black heart.
Is someone making a statement about me? My inner punk rocker loves all things black, and Roger knows that, so this has to be him.
If it was someone from my past, they wouldn’t waste time with roses and hearts.
And I’ll be damned if I let Roger ruin my evening.
I’m humming as I walk into the bedroom and grab an overnight bag out of the closet.
Roger is being a pain in the butt, and if this behavior continues I may have to call him out on it. Or let Rage do it.
That makes me smile. Roger would probably piss in his pants if Rage approached him in a threatening way. I’d pay money to see that. Maybe I will let Rage handle it. It’s not that I can’t, but I don’t want any negativity in my life.
I’m finally happy and my brain is undoubtedly unused to that feeling, so it’s fighting back with a random psychological thing that’s above my pay grade.
Refusing to give Roger so much as another second of thought, I pack up clothes for work tomorrow, shorts and a T-shirt in case we want to watch a movie or something, and my toiletries.
I throw in a pair of shoes, extra underwear, and my chargers.
Then I sling the bag over my arm and head to the living room.
I grab my purse, take out my keys, arm the alarm, and lock the door behind me.
“Hey, princess.” Rage opens the door with a smile and leans down to kiss me.
“Hi.” I say, smiling back.
He must sense something because he cocks his head. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, just got another stupid package from Roger.”
He scowls. “What was it this time?”
“A black satin heart. I guess he’s trying to tell me I have a black heart for breaking his?”
He rolls his eyes. “He had his chance. Do I need to have a conversation with him?”
I hesitate. “You know what, let’s see if it keeps happening or if he gives up. It’s stupid stuff, really. Unless he escalates, I’d rather it just go away.”
“As long as you’re sure.”
“I am.”
He pulls me inside and takes my bag. “I’m going to put this in the bedroom. I already ordered Thai food, which should be here any minute. Are you hungry?”
“Starving.”
“All right. Let me put this inside.” He disappears into the bedroom and I take a moment to look around. This is definitely a bachelor pad, but it’s also very much his personality. Big TV on one wall, large sectional, and a bunch of what look like trophies and award on a small bookshelf.
Is that a silver star medal? I stare in disbelief.
How did I not know about this?
He must have been some kind of hero in the military, and I want to hear all about it.
By the time he takes care of the delivery guy and puts the bags of food in the kitchen, I have so many questions about his life—but tonight has to be about me coming clean. It’s only fair that he knows exactly what he’s getting into, and who I really am.
We fill our plates and settle at the small table in his kitchen.
“You won a Silver Star,” I say quietly.
“I did.” He meets my gaze curiously. “Does it matter?”
“No. There are just so many things I don’t know about you. And by the same token, you don’t know a lot of things about me.”
“You mean, who you were before you became Luna Gallagher.”
I nod.
“Okay.” He seems perfectly calm, simply waiting for me to tell him.
So, I take a deep breath and go back to the beginning.
“I was born Shawna Hunter. I grew up in Georgia.
My life was pretty normal other than the fact that I started gaining weight when I was about fourteen.
I got self-conscious about it, so I threw myself into my studies.
Then I got into MIT and moved away to go to school.
I was kind of sheltered and college was a completely different world.
I started making friends who were smart like me, and most of them were guys.
“I think that’s why I got serious about hacking. That was something I could do by myself, and it turned out I was good at it.”
“You still are.”
“Yeah, well, I was kind of full of myself in those days. And not only was I becoming a world-renowned hacker, I also felt like I had a moral obligation to right the wrongs of the world. All of them, if you know what I mean.”
“I’m familiar with that sentiment,” he murmurs softly. “You know, running off to the Middle East to fight battles that didn’t really have anything to do with me.”
I never thought about that with regard to his military service, but now that he’s vocalized it, it makes sense. “Yeah, so you get it.”
“I do.”
“I stayed in school two more years to get my master’s, but I was also working for this startup tech company.
It paid well and I still had time to do schoolwork, and for a while everything was okay.
” I pause. “I was a hacker but also a gamer, so I was totally involved in all things tech. Coder by day, student in the evenings, gamer and hacker overnight. I lived on caffeine and Adderall. And no, I don’t have ADD.
” I pause again, trying to figure out how to tell him the rest because I’m suddenly a little nervous.
“You know nothing you tell me changes anything, right?” he asks when I’ve been quiet a little too long.
“I hope not, but I was a mess in my twenties.”
“You think you were the only one? I could tell you stories about my deployments.” He shakes his head slowly, the fingers of one hand trailing along my arm. “Things I did that I wish I hadn’t. But right now we’re talking about you.”
“Do you remember a big story that broke about something called the Assault Academy?”
He frowns. “That website or whatever, where men could go to learn how to basically rape their partners by drugging them and whatnot?”
I nod.
“Of course I remember. That was huge. What I don’t remember is what happened with the whole thing. It’s like it just disappeared.”
“What happened was that I hacked the site and got the full list of every single person involved and sent it to activists on the dark web, thinking I would be protected since they would be the ones releasing the information. But I was wrong. There were some very powerful people on that list, and when the FBI got ahold of it, they figured out who hacked the site. And they arrested me for violating the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act. Which basically means I got access to computer systems without permission. That’s what a hacker does, but in this case, I did a bad thing for the right reasons.
Except a lot of people were unhappy so the FBI stepped in.
And I could have gotten ten years for that. ”