Chapter 16 #2
“Come here, you little bitch.” His eyes bulged.
“You think you can pull a stunt like this and not be punished? You think God doesn’t see you sitting there naked, temptation in the flesh and, me, just a weak man?
Help me up, right now, and I’ll only give you the lash of my belt and not what you truly deserve. ”
Anger surged through her veins and made her snarl. “No!”
She smashed the rock down hard on his fingers, and he yelped as he let go.
His forearm was still stretched across the ledge, and she switched onto her butt and kicked and kicked. He tried to grab her ankle, but she was quick. That’s how she’d gotten away from him earlier.
She was quick, and she was nimble.
He swung wildly and managed to grip the edge of the ledge again, but she slammed the rock onto his knuckles, and he let go. She shoved at his arm. His other hand caught a strand of her long hair, dragged her toward him.
“You little cunt.”
Agony consumed her as her hair was ripped out by the roots, the sound of her screams merging with another BOOM! from the Heavens.
Her forehead rested on his arm, and revulsion curled through her like poison. Her teeth found his skin, and she bit down, hard. Didn’t stop even as his scream matched hers. He let go of her hair to grip the edge of the ledge again. He jerked his arm away, and she spat out flesh.
Lightning flashed.
Their gazes connected.
She hammered the rock into his fingers one last time, and he finally let go.
Nora woke screaming. Someone was holding onto her, and she was trapped in the dark. Where was she? Cold sweat bloomed all over her body as terror and horror rushed through her in equal measure.
“Let me go!” Her heart hammered as panic rained down, and she couldn’t breathe.
She couldn’t breathe.
“Nora. Nora! It’s Sebastian. You’re safe. I promise you’re safe.”
Sebastian.
Oh fuck. It was Sebastian. Thank God.
She clutched at his shirt. She still couldn’t suck in air. She tried to sit upright. To run outside, but there was no space to get out. Chance pawed at her side and licked her face. Her beautiful dog was worried about her.
“You had a nightmare. You’re hyperventilating. Cup your hands over your mouth, and lie back. I’ve got you. I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.”
She did as he told her because she didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Collapsed into their nest of sleeping bags, still warm from their shared body heat.
He placed some kindling on the embers of the fire, and the warm orange glow soon lit the shelter again.
Slowly, the breath snuck back into her lungs, and her heart rate slowed.
He turned with a look of concern. Poured her some tea and helped her to sit up to drink it.
“Are you okay?” The compassion and understanding in those dark eyes ripped at her.
“Yeah. It was just a bad dream.” Her voice sounded like someone else’s—a demonic possession that might pass for normal if someone didn’t know the truth.
“Want to tell me about it?”
She looked at his beautiful, sculpted face.
So concerned. So sincere. So fucking incorruptible.
Tell him about it? Was he out of his mind?
“It’s nothing. A bad dream. Probably triggered by the plunge into the river yesterday.
” She tried to smile but couldn’t hold his gaze.
Looked away. Knowledge was inside her now.
Fully formed and inescapable. Shame engulfed her in a rush of emotion that wanted to swamp her in tears.
There was no way she could confide in Sebastian Black.
Not now. Not ever.
She’d always known John Kingston had fallen off that mountain. Had believed all these years that it had been an accident. That God or fate had intervened on her behalf to rescue her.
What she hadn’t known, what no one had suspected, was that she’d been the one to kill him.
Savagely.
Gleefully.
Who could possibly forgive that? Who could possibly love someone like that?
It was bad enough people looked at her differently when they found out she’d been sexually assaulted—as if she were different, as if she were broken.
How would they look at her if they discovered she’d killed the guy who’d hurt her? Would they blame her?
If Sebastian knew the truth it would change everything between them and she couldn’t bear the idea of his pity. This entire thing with the FBI agent had been a massive mistake and she needed to fix it before it destroyed everything she’d fought so hard to build.
Sebastian’s heart still pounded. For a man trained for instant awareness and absolute control, it was unsettling to realize how much someone else’s suffering could throw him for a loop. “Better?”
“I’m fine. Thanks. Sorry if I scared you.” Her voice was icy and formal.
Scared him? Her screams had pierced the warm comfort of their shelter, and he’d about jumped out of his skin. He didn’t usually sleep so deeply, but she’d ripped him from that coveted REM slumber, and he’d thought someone was attacking them.
“That doesn’t matter. Only your wellbeing matters.”
“I’m fine. Honestly.” She wouldn’t meet his gaze. She finished the tea he’d given her. “It’ll be light soon. I’ll go check outside. See if it stopped snowing yet.”
He placed his hand gently on her arm. “I’ll do it.”
She shook him off, and her eyes flashed angrily. “I don’t need babying, Sebastian. I need to pee, so I suggest I take care of that. Then I’ll see if my clothes are dry, and we can figure out our next move to find Summer.”
He watched her pull on her boots and his jacket, pick up her handgun, check the chamber and mechanism, and place it in his jacket pocket.
The danger was still out there whether they liked it or not.
He watched her disappear down the tunnel, followed immediately by her devoted dog, who shot him a look that suggested Sebastian had fucked up.
Shit.
He shoved his hand through his hair. Despite everything that had happened last night, despite everything they’d been through in the past twenty-four hours, she’d pulled away from him, physically and emotionally. Retreated back to being the prickly NPS Ranger he’d first met at the ranch.
He swallowed the lash of hurt.
Was this what she did? Run when she got too close?
Yeah. He’d put money on it.
He’d figured her out. She didn’t want to admit to anyone about her past. Didn’t want to let anyone in.
He got that. He really did. He rarely let anyone get as close as he’d let her yesterday, and then only because he’d understood the magnitude of what she’d endured as a child.
He’d trusted her, but maybe that had been a mistake.
Should he tell her he already knew her terrible secret? That she had nothing to be ashamed of? That none of it was her fault? She didn’t have to hide anymore?
But she was so closed off… The timing of such a confession seemed worse than ever. It could drive her even further away.
And maybe he’d misconstrued the intensity of what they’d shared. Maybe this was exactly how she operated. Maybe she regularly picked a fuck buddy and then dumped them the next day. Like garbage.
Her screams echoed inside his head and touched his own bruised soul.
As easy as it would be to let his damaged self-esteem take the lead on this and allow this chasm between them to grow, he didn’t truly believe she’d be that callous with other people’s emotions. They’d shared something special, and Nora Deacon didn’t strike him as someone who’d toy with people.
And maybe that was his own giant ego talking—or his blind ignorance when it came to dealing with the opposite sex.
He wanted to demand answers, to fix what was broken, but now wasn’t the time to push the personal. And perhaps Nora Deacon wasn’t the woman he thought she was.
The idea hurt. More than he wanted to admit.
He pulled on his clothes.
This was just one of the reasons why he didn’t do relationships.
Getting involved meant letting someone get close, and getting close equaled vulnerability in his mind.
Vulnerability was weakness, and he didn’t do weakness.
This personal relationship had already distracted him from the mission.
He started packing up the sleeping bags and gear.
Stuffed the unused condoms into his pocket with a feeling of self-disgust. Nothing mattered more than finding and rescuing Summer Eastman.
Nothing.
Not even Nora.
A quiet buzz signaled an incoming message. He answered. Nora hadn’t returned so he assumed she was building the fire or getting dressed, or maybe making breakfast—generally avoiding him.
“You survived the night?” Novak sounded relieved.
“Yeah. We’re both fine.” That was a lie.
“Good to hear. Cloud ceiling is still low, and the pilots won’t fly. Should clear later but not for long.”
“We’re going up to check the gold mines I mentioned yesterday. Look for any sign of Eastman.”
“We got a report of a credible sighting over in Hastings. About thirty miles east.”
Sebastian exhaled in a curious rush of disappointment. “How credible?”
“More credible than most. Guy matching Eastman’s description with a child in tow. Kid had short brown hair but was otherwise similar to Summer. We have agents checking it out.”
Dammit.
Could Chance’s nose have been wrong all this time? Or could Eastman have cut back to the road and flagged down or stolen a car and left them chasing their tails in the mountains?
“Let me know how it shakes out. I don’t like the team being out here for any longer than necessary.” At the same time, the thought of parting ways with Nora felt wrong on every level—like a physical blow, especially with how things currently stood between them.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
His personal problems could be dealt with later. Not in the middle of an op. “I’ll check back in a couple of hours. Let you know what we find.” Which, if this new sighting was correct, would likely be nothing.