Rah

Chapter 34 Solae

SOLAE

All week, I’d been doing everything I could to make memories with my kids.

We’d had movie nights that turned into sleepovers on the couch. We took trips to the park even when it was too cold to be outside. I let them get away with things I normally never would have, like staying up late on school nights.

Tonight, I sat on the living room floor between Essence and Elijah, helping them write wish letters for me to open when I got home.

The idea had come to me earlier in the week, after another sleepless, tearful night.

The letters were full of plans for when I came home, hopes for while I was gone, and sweet messages from the kids telling me how much they loved me and to stay strong.

I told them it was like saving up hugs on paper, so while I was away, I could read them and feel close to them.

“I wish you don’t be sad in there, Mama,” Elijah said without looking up from his paper.

“I won’t be, baby,” I lied around the boulders in my throat.

“You promise you’re coming back?” Essence asked.

“Of course. I promise.” My smile wobbled, but I forced it to stay. “It’s just a year. I’ll be home before you know it.”

Essence’s pen stopped moving. “But what if something happens to you while you’re in there?”

“Nothing’s gonna happen.” My voice cracked, giving my emotions away.

I couldn’t let them see me break. I stood up fast, mumbling about needing a glass of water, and hurried down the hall to the kitchen.

As soon as I was out of sight, I leaned against the counter. I bit my lip until it hurt to stop the tears burning at the corners of my eyes.

A moment later, I heard soft footsteps and then my mama’s voice behind me. “It’s okay not to be strong, baby.”

I shook my head, keeping my back to her. “I don’t want them to see me cry.”

She wrapped her arms around me from behind, resting her cheek against my shoulder. “They know you’re strong. But even strong people cry, baby.”

I could hear my father’s heavy footsteps behind us. He walked up and kissed the top of my head before leaning on the counter beside me. “Your mama’s right. Ain’t no shame in being scared. But you’re going to get through this, just like you’ve gotten through everything else.”

I swallowed hard. “It’s not just me I’m worried about. It’s them. Essence acts tough, but she’s scared. And Elijah…” My voice broke. “He’s still so young. He needs his mother. Both of them do. I don’t want them to forget about me or hate me for leaving them.”

Mama turned me around, so I was facing her. “They could never hate you.”

Daddy nodded in agreement. “You raised those kids right, Solae. They know who their mama is. They know your heart.”

I pressed my lips together, fighting the tears, but they still fell. “I just hate that I’m not gonna be there. What if they need me?”

Daddy angled his head dramatically. “Are me and your mama ghosts?” he joked, managing to make me giggle weakly. “They got us. You focus on keeping your head low in there, doing what you gotta do, and coming home. Me and your mama’ll handle everything else.”

Mama reached up and brushed the tears off my cheeks. “We’ll bring them to see you every chance we get, and we’ll make sure to answer every call so that you talk to them whenever you want to. You hear me?”

I nodded, too choked up to speak.

Mama smiled softly through her tears. “You got a whole army behind you, baby. You’re not doing this alone.”

I looked between them and took in their tired faces, touched that they were trying so hard to hold me together.

I nodded, but no words would come out.

From the hallway, Elijah called out, “Mama, can you come read our letters now?”

I tried to smile so that he couldn’t hear my sorrow. “Yeah, baby! I’m coming.”

As I went back down that hall, I wiped my face clean and straightened my shoulders. My kids didn’t need to see the broken version of me. They needed to think mama was unshakable, even if I was falling apart inside.

Before I could even make it back to the living room, the doorbell rang.

It was late, and I wasn’t expecting anyone. I frowned, wondering who it could be.

I’d already forced Kahlani to go home earlier that afternoon. She’d been up under me every day that week. I loved her for it, but she was starting to neglect her man and baby.

When the bell rang again, I walked to the door, glanced through the peephole, and froze.

It was Fabe.

I hesitated for a second, wondering why he’d show up unannounced, then unlocked the door and opened it.

“Hey,” he greeted, looking nervous.

Before I could even respond, Elijah and Essence were already rushing over.

“Uncle Fabe!” Elijah grinned.

Essence’s face lit up too, even though she tried to play it cool. “What you doin’ here?”

Fabe smiled at them both and reached down to hug them. “I just needed to talk to your mama for a second,” he told Essence.

“Go finish your letters. Let me talk to your uncle,” I told them.

Once they were back on the floor with their pens, Fabe and I slipped into my bedroom nearby. I shut the door behind us.

He sighed heavily before speaking. “I’m sorry, Solae.”

My eyes narrowed as I sat on the foot of the bed. “What are you sorry for?”

“For everything. For my brother. For what he did to you. I know ‘sorry’ don’t fix it, but I wanted to say it anyway because somebody should. You’re owed an apology.”

“You don’t have to apologize for him, Fabe. He made his own choices.”

“I know. He’s my brother, but I can’t even pretend like he didn’t deserve what happened. I know he pushed you too far.”

Tears filled my eyes, but I blinked them back. “I’m glad to hear you say that. Everybody else in his family’s been acting like Rah is a Saint.”

“That’s ‘cause they don’t know him like I do,” he said.

“Rah is… Rah. Always manipulating, always hurting the people who loves him most. You don’t deserve to carry that guilt.

” Then he added softly, “I just wanted you to know I got you. I’m gonna look out for your kids while you’re gone.

Whatever they need, I’ll make sure they have it. ”

That brought more tears to my eyes. “Thank you, Fabe. That means more than you know.”

He nodded, looking down for a moment before I asked, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What’s going on with you and Aaliyah?”

His brows shot up, and I could instantly see the boyish smirk in his eyes,

He looked so guilty that he made me smile from ear to ear. “I saw y’all together in court,” I teased.

He let out a small laugh while rubbing the back of his neck. “We’re… together. That’s my baby.”

A smile tugged at my lips. “Woooow. I’m proud of her. She pulled a Black Chyna. That’s a hell of a chess move.”

He started cracking up. Then told me, “We’ve always had feelings for each other. We were just respecting Rah.”

Then guilt settled in his expression. I knew what he felt guilty for, for knowing about Aaliyah and not telling me. But I would have never expected him to turn on his brother like that.

“Focus on doing your time and getting back home,” he spoke over the tension. “I’m going to look out for the kids.”

“Thank you,” I said again.

He reached out, gave my hand a gentle squeeze, then nodded toward the door. “Go be with your babies. I’ll see you soon.”

I walked him out of my room, and when we stepped into the living room, I saw that my parents had joined the kids on the floor. Essence was still hunched over her pink pen, and Elijah was proudly holding up his letter for my mama to read.

Fabe greeted as we walked to the front door.

When I opened the door to let Fabe out, the night air was cold, crisp, and quiet. As Fabe walked through the doorway, movement on the stairs caught my eye.

Priest was climbing up the steps with three boxes of Beggars Pizza in his arms and that sexy, easy smile stretched across his face. My heart dropped straight to my stomach.

We’d been spending almost every night together after the kids went to bed. It had been bittersweet as hell, because deep down I knew I couldn’t expect a man like him to wait a whole year for me. Not someone like Priest, who could have any woman he wanted.

Fabe glanced back at me, then at Priest. “What’s up, bro?”

Priest balanced the pizzas in one arm and extended the other. “What’s good, fam? I’m Priest.”

“Fabe,” he said, shaking his hand. “I’m her kids’ uncle.”

Then Fabe gave me a small nod, said goodbye, and headed down the stairs.

I lingered in the doorway with my heart still thumping. “What are you doing here?” I asked Priest.

He gave me a knowing smile. “You told me you were hanging with the kids and your folks, wondering what to feed them for dinner. So…” He held up the pizza boxes. “I brought dinner. That cool?”

The night had been so emotional that I had forgotten that quickly about the conversation Priest and I had had about an hour ago.

I smiled, blushing. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Didn’t have to,” he said, stepping closer. “But I wanted to.”

I stepped aside, letting him in. The smell of pizza filled the house as he walked past me, and the kids’ faces lit up with interest when they saw him. I could tell by their wide eyes they didn’t know what to make of this tall, broad man with tattoos creeping up his neck, carrying pizza boxes.

“Y’all must be Essence and Elijah,” he spoke as he set the boxes on the table. “I’m Priest. Your mama’s friend.”

“Hi,” they both mumbled at the same time, still watching him cautiously.

Priest chuckled and crouched a little to their level. “I brought y’all Beggars Pizza. Y’all hungry?”

Elijah grinned. “Depends on what kind you got.”

“Pepperoni, sausage, and cheese,” Priest said. “I covered my bases.”

Essence smiled shyly then, and I caught the way his charm softened her right up. Priest naturally knew how to make people feel safe without trying too hard.

“Evening, Mr. and Mrs. Evans,” Priest greeted, extending a hand to each of them. “It’s good to finally see y’all outside of the courtroom.”