Chapter 1.15 #5
“And you, Elizabeth, cannot possibly consider that anything would prevent me from asking that question after I have been waiting so long to do so. You cannot possibly believe I could be satisfied with the regret of letting you go when there is the smallest chance to obtain your affection and hand.”
The happiness she felt at hearing his words was so powerful that she was certain her soul would not be able to bear it, but her sadness was not lessened.
To know he truly loved her and wanted to marry her almost broke down the last vestiges of resistance that remained in her, and she could only articulate a few more words.
“But, sir, surely you must be aware of the scandal that will be associated with my family. You cannot allow it to fall upon you or Georgiana. I cannot allow that.” She was crying, her heart broken, as close to him as if they were one person.
Darcy only smiled and encircled her shoulders with one arm as he gently tilted her head to rest on his chest. Then he tenderly placed a few light kisses on her silky hair.
“What I cannot allow is that anything or anyone should make you cry ever again, Elizabeth. Nor can I allow you to leave my arms, unless I can be certain you know that this is where you belong. Can you not feel that your place is here—in my arms, in my home, in my life?”
She did not move, for never in her life had she felt so protected and complete as in that moment in his embrace, near his heart. She only lifted her face, now so close to his that they could feel each other’s breath, her lips barely able to speak.
“But, sir, are you sure you have taken careful consideration of all the implications of my family’s situation and your own family’s reaction?”
He gently stroked her hair, resting his chin on the top of her head, his heart melting at such proof of her own care and consideration.
“I did a long time ago. I shall not deny that I struggled to repress my feelings for you for many weeks when we were in Hertfordshire until I came to understand that you were everything I wanted and had been searching for in my life. And since that moment, I only waited and hoped for a moment to speak of my love, a love that allowed me to think of no one but you.”
He felt her startle in his embrace and then tremble as a becoming blush spread over her beautiful face and descended to the soft, creamy skin of her neck, her eyes hiding behind her long lashes.
He smiled at her and cupped her face with his hands.
“However, I must say I am all astonishment that we have discussed all the details of the advantages or disadvantages of a possible alliance between us, but I do not recall myself proposing to you or your answering me. Perhaps it is, after all, an appropriate moment to do that, would you not agree?”
Elizabeth was too embarrassed to say a word—the happiest embarrassment she had ever felt—and tried to smile in his embrace while nodding silently and shyly.
“My affection and wishes cannot be a surprise to you. I know you understood them; you have felt them for a long time now. And if not”—he smiled, a hint of mischief twisting the corners of his lips—“my shocking, improper behaviour towards you should have been proof of how ardently I love and admire you.”
With his voice as tender as his caress, he declared all that he had long felt for her, his adoring, rapturous gaze enfolding her and never leaving her eyes as he spoke.
He could witness the brightness on her face and the twinkle in her sparkling eyes growing with every word, rewarding him with a happiness he never would have thought possible.
“My dearest, beautiful Elizabeth, would you do me the honour of becoming my wife? I know I broke my promise to delay this proposal until you were more tranquil, but in my selfishness, I cannot keep my word. If you have any doubts about me, if your feelings do not allow you to give me a positive answer, or if you need more time to be sure of your decision, tell me and I shall accept it. I shall not give you up, but I shall wait for you and do everything in my power to prove myself worthy of your love. But I beg you not to give any thought to Mr Wickham or the effect of this unfortunate situation on your family or mine. They are of no consequence to me. My only concern is to know your feelings and wishes.”
She did not consider, not even for a second, thinking of anyone or anything except the two of them.
The whole world vanished; their love was so powerful that she could feel it surrounding them.
Her hands lifted to his face, and she fought the lump in her throat that would not allow her words to give him all the assurance he needed.
“Neither my feelings nor my wishes should be of any concern to you, sir, as I am sure you have not failed to understand them for quite some time.”
Pleased and encouraged by the expression of heartfelt delight that spread over his face, she continued teasingly, repeating what he had told her only a few minutes earlier, in a love game that could have only two winners.
“If nothing else, my shocking, improper behaviour should have been a proof of their nature, Mr Darcy. I know you were sure of my feelings last night when we talked before dinner, or later when I did…what I did…” She touched his face with her fingers as she had the previous evening—“and when I did this…”
She intended to repeat that light kiss, but this time his daring, thirsty lips captured hers, savouring their sweet softness so long desired.