Chapter 1.16
It was more a tentative and gentle touch of their lips than a passionate kiss, but so intense in its meaning that time seemed to stop as the room, and the whole world, spun about them.
His right hand slowly glided to the back of her neck, his fingers joining a rebellious lock of her hair, as his left hand encircled her waist.
Darcy was desperately fighting his passion.
He knew he could not allow his hands to caress her as he desired, his arms to pull her as close as he wanted, nor his lips to take possession of her mouth.
He felt her lips shyly pressing against his and knew it would be easy for him to make them part and for her to surrender to him completely.
He could feel her soft, warm body pressing against his as she stood on her toes, while her hands encircled his waist. She was shivering slightly in his embrace and every fibre of his body could feel her tremor.
Many times—nights and days—he had dreamed of the moment she would be in his arms for the first time, about the pleasure he would feel the very first time. But ‘pleasure’ seemed such a poor word to describe the sensations she aroused in him.
Yet, what other word could do justice to that utter, blissful happiness that enveloped him—that amazingly powerful storm inside him, more powerful than anything he had ever experienced or imagined?
Love! That is the word! The thought made his heart pound, and instinctively he pulled her even closer so he could also feel her heart beating against his chest.
Elizabeth did not dare—or know how—to breathe in that close embrace. But she needed nothing else—not even breath—only the warmth of his lips, the strength of his body against hers, and the comfort of his embrace.
Until a few minutes before, her soul had been buried beneath a burden of grief and despair, believing that she had lost him forever.
Now she was so close to him—their arms wrapped around each other and their chests pressed against each other—that she could sense the wild beating of his heart.
As for her own heart, she did not know whether it was still beating or not.
Her head was swimming, causing every rational thought to vanish, and she was aware of nothing but his strong arms and the burning touch of his lips against her own.
A desperate need for air made her withdraw slightly without opening her eyes, amazed and overwhelmed by the exquisite sensation building inside her by the kiss—her first kiss.
A deep sigh of contented pleasure escaped her lips, making Darcy smile, and she blushed, knowing he understood her.
Her knees, like her entire body, melted and grew weaker at the revelation that his hand was still resting at the junction between her neck and her shoulder, his palm pressed gently and possessively against her bare skin.
The gentle caress of his thumb seemed to tease her senses, burning that spot as cold shivers made her tremble more.
She knew she was dangerously close to fainting.
“Elizabeth, are you unwell?”
“No, no…but I think I should sit.” He directed her to the settee, never releasing her from his embrace, and they sat together.
She still did not trust herself well enough to face him, and he became worried.
“Elizabeth, will you not look at me?” His voice was tender, whispering close to her ear, which only increased her disturbance as one hand was still on her shoulder while the other was holding hers.
She finally lifted a flushed face, dared to meet his eyes briefly, and then averted her eyes as she tried to think of something sensible to say.
“I am not unwell; do not worry. It is just that—”
“Yes? Please tell me what is disturbing you?”
Your hands…your closeness…were the answers that burst into her head, but she searched for the proper words to explain her reaction to him. “I know I am reacting foolishly, and you must think me a simpleton indeed. Please forgive me. It is just that I have never… This is the first time that I…”
If her mortification had allowed her to look at him, she would have seen an expression of utter delight and a radiant smile lighting his face.
“And for what exactly should I forgive you? It is I who should beg your forgiveness for frightening you with my impulsive and improper behaviour.”
She shook her head and attempted to gain a little more self-control.
“No, you are not to blame any more than I am. Sir, I am not frightened, though I must confess I am truly embarrassed. I never imagined that a kiss could be so…”
She had to stop, for she was at a loss for words again, but he continued, tenderly caressing her hands.
“So overwhelming?” She nodded in agreement, trying to stop her hands from trembling.
“Well, Elizabeth, I am happy to know I am not the only one feeling that way. At least we can be embarrassed together.”
She turned her head to him in surprise, only to meet a smile hidden at the corners of his lips and eyes full of mirth. “I am silly, am I not?”
“No, you are not. Every moment spent with you is proof to me that you are even more wonderful than I imagined.”
Her face coloured highly again, but this time she indulged herself in the pleasure of his confession and held his darkened gaze until he spoke again with a hint of mischief in his voice.
“Should I beg you finally to give me an answer?”
“Answer?” Her head was spinning, and she could not think properly.
“The answer to my proposal.”
“Oh, that answer…I am sorry. I am a little dizzy.”
“I am very pleased to hear that,” Darcy answered with a cheeky smile that made his dimples appear in full view, suddenly bringing to her mind little Becky’s words: ‘Dimples is good?’
“You are pleased that I am dizzy, sir?”
“Yes, I am…because your presence has always been intoxicating to me, and I feel dizzy whenever I am near you or even think of you, which has been most of the time this last couple of months.”
His words and his gaze were so intense that another wave of warm redness spread over her face, and all she could say was a small, “Oh…”
“However, you must realise by now that you are already compromised and your answer does not matter. You have no other honourable alternative than to accept me.”
“True, sir, I have no other alternative indeed. So I shall say, ‘Yes!’” Elizabeth felt her heart was melting, and her soul was full of tenderness seeing the relief and happiness lighting his handsome face.
Could he really believe I would say, “No?” His delighted smile and intense gaze made her think he would kiss her again.
Darcy leaned towards her, whispered in her ear, and then, to her utter surprise, suddenly left the library.
He returned shortly and resumed his place.
Then he handed her a dark-red, velvet jewellery box.
She tried to maintain her breath at a normal pace while he helped her open the box and extract a ring.
It was an exquisite piece with an oval centre diamond and a channel of many other very small diamonds placed in the gold band.
It was impressive in its brightness but not ostentatious in its grandeur.
Elizabeth thought she had never seen anything so beautiful.
“I know you cannot wear this gift until your father gives us his consent, but will you allow me to put it on your finger now as proof that we have taken the first step in our future life together?”
She only nodded, her heart throbbing wildly. He placed the ring on her finger and then touched it to his lips. “These diamonds sparkle like your eyes, and the ring is as full of light as you are.”
Mesmerised, barely knowing what she was about, she leaned her head and lifted their joined hands, kissing the ring in the same spot that he had.
When their eyes finally meet, no words were needed to seal their complete understanding, and no words were possible as he claimed her lips ever so gently with love and infinite tenderness, as were his feelings for her at that moment.
The time for passion would come later.
Mr Darcy withdrew slightly but continued to embrace her tightly, and Elizabeth put her head on his shoulder, remaining still for a few minutes until he heard her whispering.
“There is another thing I forgot to tell you.”
“Oh? And what might that be?”
“I forgot to tell you how much I love you.”
She felt him hold his breath as his heart beat so violently that she could easily hear it. “Ardently?” He tried to make a little joke, but his words came with difficulty.
“I do not know whether ‘ardently’ describes it, but I love you so much that it is almost painful. I know that sounds odd, but I cannot find another word to describe how I feel.”
“No indeed, my dearest Elizabeth, it does not sound odd; it sounds exactly as I feel for you!”
The peaceful silence surrounded them a while longer, neither daring to speak or move, enjoying the moment of secluded intimacy that likely would not arise again soon.
His hand was resting on her shoulder, gently stroking, and all her thoughts and senses were focused on that spot.
They remained in silence, their eyes closed.
∞∞∞
Placing light kisses on the top of her head, Darcy came to his senses first, remembering the world outside the library. “Elizabeth?”
“Yes?” She did not raise her head from the comfortable position.
“Did you say anything in particular to Georgiana?”
The question brought her thoughts painfully back to reality. “No, I did not tell her anything, but I am afraid I was foolish and selfish, and I must have distressed her.”
She suddenly grew more agitated. “I must apologise to Georgiana, and then I must go home; the carriage is waiting for me. Surely, Jane and my aunt need me.”
“Elizabeth, please!” His voice was deep and calm but commanding, and its effect was immediate.
She lifted her eyes to him, unconsciously obeying. However, in a lower tone, she continued. “I have delayed too long; my family must be worried.”