Chapter Twenty-One – Christopher #3
“You can’t come with us, Christopher. You have to stay home and take care of the rest of our kids.”
His mind raced, memories of his misery while his wife was away prickling his skin.
“How about we go away for the summer? All of us? Wherever we fuckin’ go, I get separate rooms for you, Reb, and Jo, and me and the boys.
This summer, we tour different fuckin’ states.
Next year, we go to Europe. The year after, Asia or the Caribbean or anyfuckinwhere, Megan. ”
“No,” she said stubbornly.
He thought over her conversation, searching for something to grab onto and use as an argument.
“Wait. What the fuck you mean a fuckin’ safe space?
” he demanded, circling back to her original reason.
“This about motherfuckin’ Diesel, ain’t it?
You want to take Rebel away so she can blush and giggle over him and you can listen without askin’ if she’s lost her motherfuckin’ mind.
” He sat up, overwhelmed. Megan just wouldn’t fuckin’ behave; Rebel was a spoiled fuckin’ brat; and Diesel was a soon-to-be-cockless motherfucker.
“What the fuck you meant when you fuckin’ said that motherfucker don’t see Rebel as his sister? What the fuck he did?”
She lifted herself into a sitting position and leaned her head against him. “Christopher, you have got to allow me to handle Rebel in this situation. The more we resist, the quicker we will push her to him.”
“The quicker that motherfucker die.”
“Your reaction is exactly why I need to have mother/daughter time with Rebel away from you and her brothers. And Diesel.”
Christopher started to get out of bed, but Megan grabbed his wrist.
“We call Diesel our son, but all we’ve ever done is extolled CJ’s virtues.
Your expectations of my potato. My expectations.
We pat Diesel on the back, tell him good job, call him our eldest, but put him behind CJ.
If no one else notices the stark differences, Diesel does.
” She slid closer to him. “And so does Rebel.”
Christopher drew her into his arm, settling her into the crook, and leaned back on his pillow. “I saw CJ followin’ in my fuckin’ footsteps two motherfuckin’ years before I met Diesel, Megan.”
“I know. All you ever dreamed of was CJ following in your footsteps, but he was two when Diesel arrived. He became a Caldwell not long after he moved in. A Caldwell, Christopher. Your son. He admired you so much. Even today, he admires you.”
“The fuck he do. I wasn’t no old motherfucker lustin’ after a young girl.”
Megan sighed. “Work with me here. Self-awareness would go a long way right now.”
“You wasn’t no kid!” Christopher roared.
“Umkay,” she said with a little sniff. “My point is, neither of us ever asked him if he wanted what seemed to be CJ’s destiny from the moment I conceived him.
Even your plan to retire and install Diesel was so he could fill in until CJ was old enough.
Not because you saw his potential as a club leader. ”
“You settin’ me the fuck up, sayin’ all this cuz you want that motherfucker with Rebel.”
“Christopher, I swear to you he is the last person I want with our baby girl. But—”
“Ain’t no fuckin’ buts!”
“Yes, there is,” she said stubbornly. “Diesel is about to marry Jana—”
“I ain’t seen that bitch. I’d bet my fuckin’ life he don’t really love her.”
“Be that as it may, I expect the wedding will be sometime next year. If for some reason, he doesn’t go through with it or it doesn’t last and he’s free when Rebel turns eighteen…”
“No! Fuck you. Fuck him. Fuck no. She ain’t gettin’ with that motherfucker.”
“If there’s the choice between losing my daughter or accepting him, guess what I’m choosing?”
“You ain’t losin’ her over that motherfucker. I’ll fuckin’ fuck him up first.”
“We’d still lose her. She’d never forgive us.”
“Didn’t you just fuckin’ say you don’t think she’d hurt us—”
“I did, but I didn’t say it was zero chance.
I’m counting on her love for us and her loyalty to our family, but what if I’m wrong?
Rebel is so strong-willed. What if she somehow convinces Diesel to take her away so she can be with him?
Or what if you kill him and she can’t forgive us and runs away? ”
Christopher would capitulate for now. He didn’t want Megan to worry, especially about Rebel, but he’d find a way to nip a relationship with her and Diesel in the fucking nuts and stop his wife from taking their girl away for “mother/daughter” time.
Fuck that. He’d never give her the fucking chance to leave him.
“What you got in mind, baby?” he grouched, because just having to give in that much pissed him the fuck off.
“I saw this adorable treehouse. You know how you have to climb up to reach the first level of CJ’s?”
“That’s why the motherfucker a treehouse, baby. You gotta climb up a fuckin’ tree.”
“Well, the one I saw had a kitchen, guest bathroom, dining room and living room in the trunk area—”
“How big is that motherfuckin’ trunk? Or are the rooms for motherfuckers the size of elves?”
“It’s not a real trunk,” she said in exasperation.
“Yeah, but that motherfucker cost real fuckin’ money.”
“Do you want to hear about the other levels or what?”
“How many more fuckin’ levels this fake fuckin’ treehouse got?”
“Four to six.”
“Four to…? You’ve lost your fuckin’ mind.
Why the fuck CJ need a fucking redesigned…
” Diesel’s face rose in Christopher’s head and he just knew he was about to keel the fuck over.
“We bought that fuckhead a condo, Megan. Ain’t buildin’ him a goddamn luxury treehouse that ain’t even made from a fuckin’ tree. ”
“What is wood made from if not a tree?”
“Manufactured wood cheaper. I can understand the partnership in the firm. That motherfucker would be obligated to me. Why another fuckin’ house?”
“Not a house. CJ’s treehouse.”
“It could be CJ’s firehouse. That ain’t answerin’ my fuckin’ question.”
“It’s CJ’s. That we’d tear down and give to Diesel.”
“I fuckin’ know that. You keep sayin’ it, Megan.”
“At one time, CJ had the biggest room after ours.”
“So? The lil’ motherfucker required a lot of space.”
“Christopher, Diesel’s our eldest.”
“Because he the oldest, he should have CJ’s treehouse?”
“Yep.”
“CJ okay with that?”
“Does CJ use the treehouse anymore?”
“Suppose he want you to do all that shit for him with that fuckin’ treehouse?”
“I’ll talk to him.”
“That still won’t fuckin’ fly, Megan. I built this big fuckin’ house for you. The kids can have their own fuckin’ suites. I don’t even fuckin’ wanna think about how sad you gonna be if they move. You moped for weeks after Diesel left.”
“Uh, do the kids know that?”
“I just thought about it,” he confessed.
“We can talk about it with them.”
“Anything else you want to give Diesel?”
“I want you to impress upon him how important it is to respect a woman’s autonomy and to treat her with love and kindness. I want you to reward him and praise him when he does good.”
“I do. I say good fuckin’ job. What the fuck else I’m supposed to say?”
“If Rebel is over eighteen and Diesel ends his marriage to Jana, I want you to let her handle it,” Megan inserted as if Christopher was a stupid motherfucker and would just say ofuckinkay.
“Fuck no!”
“Hear me out—”
“Megan—”
“If she’s twenty-one, you stay completely out of it. If she’s eighteen, nineteen, or twenty, then…he loses something.”
“His cock, balls, and motherfuckin’ brain.”
“I don’t mean to hurt him. I mean like a penalty or a fine. Or something.”
“This ain’t no fuckin’ game. It’s Rebel’s fuckin’ life.”
“Christopher, I hope Kaia sweeps Rebel off her feet and they ride off into the sunset. We both know you, CJ, Diesel, and all the boys will block her from meeting anyone else. You’re clipping her wings when she deserves to fly.
I don’t want her pregnant at eighteen because she’s too inexperienced and na?ve to understand what she’s getting herself into. ”
If Megan had stomped his dick, Christopher wouldn’t have been as crushed. Not that she realized it because she kept talking.
“I hope she goes to college, graduates, have all the experiences I didn’t, and settles down when she’s twenty-five or thirty. It’s the same thing I want for the boys. But, unless you and her brothers ease up on her, she will be at such a disadvantage.”
“Like you was?”
“I was never at a disadvantage,” she said.
“I had the choice of going back home, giving Johnnie a chance, or living on my own. You were sending me money to take care of whatever I needed. I didn’t want any of that.
I wanted you. I loved you. I love you,” she said, and continued talking about Rebel.
“But Rebel doesn’t…as much as we’ve given her, she’s so sheltered.
Of course, she thinks she’s in love with Diesel.
What else does she know? However, if that’s who she wants, we have to whip him into shape and also try to stop them from anything serious until she’s at least twenty-one. ”
Christopher stared at the ceiling, wishing Megan didn’t focus so much on the bad and the ugly. He decided to change the subject. “I been thinkin’ about another kid.”
A baby wasn’t bad or ugly. They were pure and innocent. Like Megan once was.
“I don’t want another baby right now, Christopher.”
“You told me at Christmas you wanted another kid to have a good last pregnancy.”
“I do. I did. I do,” she amended again. “Not now, though. I want Jo home. I want to help Rebel. The summer is coming up and I need to think about what to do to keep the kids entertained.”
“You on pills, right?”
“You know I am. You see them when you open the top drawer in my bathroom cabinet. I have double reminders set so I don’t forget them.
I know you want me safe and another pregnancy will keep me close to home.
But these are little humans that are more than just my lock and key. They require a lot of attention.”
“You changed your mind about the hysterectomy,” he argued.
“Let’s get Jo home first. Let me take Rebel away for mother/daughter time once or twice. I promise I won’t have the surgery any time soon.”
“Not cuz of me. Cuz of them.”
“It’s because I love you and them. You need me. They need me. Besides, you and Bash have reached an agreement. You don’t need to get me pregnant as a safety measure.”
According to her. According to Christopher, he needed to get her pregnant so she wouldn’t fucking leave him.
He couldn’t very well kidnap her for a month if she insisted she’d return.
That would make him look like a fucking…
just what the fuck he was: an obsessed fuckhead who didn’t want to live without his woman.
“Now, about Celia,” she said as if the matter was settled.
“What the fuck about her?” he asked, his mind spinning.
“You can’t use her as a bargaining chip or a target every time Bash does something. Or you think he does something. That isn’t fair and it also leaves me vulnerable.”
“Fine, Megan. I’ll fuckin’ apologize to her and think about the rest. Anything else?”
Sitting up and sliding out of bed, she smiled tenderly. “How about a bath with me and a massage? I’ll tell you all about my phone call with Gypsy.”
Although that was the last bitch he wanted to discuss, he’d suffer through it because he’d be in Megan’s loving arms.